by Free Britney at

THE HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP NOTE: As is our new custom, our recap of The Hills will consist of a brief rundown of events, then our staff members grading last night's episode, awarding (or deducting) points for the best and worst moments.

Despite the presence of a charming Corey Bohan, Audrina Patridge is still drawn to bad boy Justin-Bobby, while Lauren Conrad is cute as ever, and a conniving Spencer Pratt is still determined to give Holly Montag the boot from his apartment.

Pimp and Ho

On to the rankings!

"If you take your top off and went over there, I'd probably have to chase you," Justin Bobby says. Dear God, what an unbelievably lame line, but Plus 5 because it totally works and he thus gets to see Audrina Patridge (fake boobs and all) topless.

The Cabo San Lucas Tourism Board must pay for all the name dropping. Minus 1.

Backhanded compliment of the year from Spencer to Stephanie: "I can't imagine disliking a sister more... Should make you feel good." LOL. Plus 7.

Once again, we are forced to mention that we already know Justin-Bobby will win out before any drama unfolds, as Corey Bohan was seen with Audrina 24/7 for like a week this summer before falling off the face of the Earth. Minus 10.

Corey is hot. J-Bobby is not. Audrina missed that memo? Minus 4.

Audrina laments to Lauren Conrad that she hasn't had to choose between two guys in the longest time. Girl is only 23, but Plus 4 because when you're wrapped up in a faux-reality bubble, a few weeks can seem like an eternity.

Spencer Pratt tells Stephanie that Holly is "the mooch of the century." Minus 2 for a pot calling the kettle black, but Plus 6 because he's oblivious and doesn't realize it.

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by Free Britney at

THE HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP NOTE: Last week we implemented a new format for our recaps of The Hills. After a brief rundown of events, our staff grades each episode, awarding (or deducting) points for the best and worst moments.

Last night, Holly Montag continued to act as the go-between / peacemaker between Lauren and Heidi for some reason. Spencer Pratt finds out and is far from thrilled. Audrina dates a new guy, Colin, while going back and forth on Justin-Bobby.

On to the rankings!

Colin is "the happiest drunk." This is a selling point. Plus 2.

Audrina starts off date No. 2 with Colin by talking about Justin-Bobby. She says they're not boyfriend-girlfriend, but he's what's holding her back. Minus 5. Way to come off looking strong, confident and not pathetic at all, Auds.

The priceless reaction of Justin-Bobby to Audrina's date with Colin: "He went so far that he's not here. Ha ha." We don't even know what that means, which is pretty standard with him, and he's a consistent d-bag at least. Plus 5.

Chiara is totally the new Elodie - a co-worker of a Hills star designed to feed them forced dialogue. Elodie was kind of a bitch and more interesting, though. Minus 1.

Once again, the months-long lag behind real life - and the stars being real-life celebs - detracts from the show. We all know this Colin dude has no shot and have already moved on to Audrina Patridge and Josh Christopher rumors. Minus 8.

Too little of her, but we heart Whitney as always? Plus 2.

A stunningly concerned Holly Montag misleads Heidi into thinking she has a chance at getting back in Lauren's good graces and encourages her to write a letter. "[Lauren] knows who you are, she knows your heart ... maybe she needs to be reminded." Barf. Why does she even care? What contrived nonsense. Minus 7.

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by Free Britney at

Justin-Bobby sucks, but he always turns up again.

Josh Christopher is like the third guy that Audrina Patridge has been with in the last six months, following Corey Bohan and Tal Cooperman. Those two dudes dropped off the face of the Earth as quickly as they appeared. Will the past repeat itself?

The same day as rumors began swirling about a hook up between Lauren Conrad and Justin-Bobby (which LC denies), Audrina Patridge was spotted with her new boy toy at the pool in Fairmont Miramar Hotel in Santa Monica, Calif., on Friday.

Does this mean Justin-Bobby is done? Don't bet on it.

Mark our words. For now, here are a couple of pictures of Audrina Patridge and Josh Christopher looking awfully well-acquainted (not to mention hot)!

Anyone know who Josh Christopher is or anything about Audrina Patridge's supposed new boyfriend? If so, leave us a comment and let us know!

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by Free Britney at

Rumors are swirling online that Lauren Conrad has been “hooking up” with Audrina Patridge's pseudo-boyfriend, and neither Audrina nor LC is happy about it.

“These rumors are very confusing and hurtful,” Audrina blogged Friday. “I’m not sure what to believe,” she writes, noting that she and her boyfriend, Justin Brescia (a.k.a. Justin-Bobby), “have not been exclusive for quite some time.”

Lauren Conrad Topless

Lauren Conrad took to MySpace Friday to set the record straight.

“This accusation is insulting on so many levels,” she posted. “I did not and would never hook up with Justin. I’m accused of being a bad friend, a slut and a liar all at once. It would actually be funny if people weren’t taking it seriously.”

LC did not hesitate to call out the people - one sleazeball from The Hills and one celebrity blogger - she believes might be responsible for the rumors.

"Once again, someone has mysteriously called Perez Hilton and had him post another insane and completely false rumor about me. Hmmmm... I wonder who it could be? I'm baffled... What kind of person would enjoy watching blogs and the press tear me apart? Who is someone that I do not get along with, that possibly has too much time on his hands (between pathetically staged paparazzi shots)."

Oh. Snap. That one hurts, Spencer. The last line especially.

Lauren Conrad also spoke directly to Audrina in her post:

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by Free Britney at

We've talked about the Britney Spears sex tape gossip courtesy of Adnan Ghalib. Now for some news related to the pop superstar that's actually real.

Tonight's gripping all-new episode of The Hills will include a special musical highlight... the TV premiere of Britney Spears' HOT new single, “Womanizer.”

It's a great marketing move by the peeps at MTV, who are hell-bent on resurrecting Britney's career - but it could also be appropriate for the show itself.

The song title may be referring to any of the dudes pictured below ...

Who could the "Womanizer" in question be?

 

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by Free Britney at

The omnipresent Urban Dictionary defines douchebag as "an individual who has an over-inflated sense of self worth, compounded by low intelligence levels, behaving ridiculously in front of colleagues with no sense of how moronic he appears."

Ladies and gentlemen, Justin-Bobby!

Audrina at the TCA

No matter how little effort he puts in, or what stunts he pulls, or how many thousand superior alternatives exist within in a 30-mile radius of where Audrina Patridge lives, this clown continues to hang around. Seriously, what is Justin-Bobby's secret?

Audrina Patridge and Justin "Bobby" Brescia hit up Crown Bar in L.A. Wednesday.

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A few points before we recap last night's episode of The Hills ...

  • Heidi Montag celebrated her 22nd birthday yesterday - 22 going on 62.
  • Spencer Pratt is becoming more of a Spencer Pratt caricature each week.
  • Justin Bobby is a d!ck. He is a f*%king d!ckhead. We realize this is The Hills, and not something we should actually care so much about, but if Audrina Patridge keeps this worthless d-bag around, she obviously has no self-respect.

Anyway. The broken friendship of Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag once again took center stage as Heidi's sister, Holly Montag, says she misses LC!

Spencer Pratt? Not thrilled by this comment.

He hilariously forbid Holly from seeing Lauren as long as she was staying with them, while Heidi just sat there quietly. This guy is seriously amazing.

Seems his threats are a tad idle, though. Stephanie Pratt has stayed pals with Lauren thus far, and now Holly Montag seems intent on doing the same.

Disobeying the great Spencer - gasp! - Holly texted LC to set up lunch. OMFG!

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by Free Britney at

MTV sucks.

Sorry, but it's true. First, with no notice, they decide to air a new episode of The Hills as a special, Sunday-night lead-in for the VMAs. Hella weak.

Even worse, though? Plugging the VMAs with a gigantic banner that took up half the screen. And since half The Hills takes place in clubs - necessitating subtitles for the conversations - that banner made them unreadable. Nice work, assclowns.

Lastly, the network spent the entire week promoting an exciting fight that landed Brody Jenner in jail, with Doug Reinhardt in tow. This, of course, was only discussed in the last 12 seconds. Wait 'til next episode again, we suppose!

Eat ass, MTV.

Anyway, from what we could discern, Lauren Conrad and Co. headed to the City of Sin for Frankie Delgado's birthday. For whatever reason, that turned into one huge drama-fest as Brody rode Stephanie Pratt hard the entire time.

We don't mean that in a sexual way. Heavens no. He was just bashing her over and over again for being shady. Brody Jenner either has a huge grudge for some reason, or was prompted by the producers to harp on this. Or both.

At dinner, Stephane Pratt finally confronted Brody Jenner to try to figure out why he told Lauren Conrad not to be friends with her.

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by Free Britney at

Audrina Patridge cheating on Justin-Bobby.

Whitney Port blushing and giggly over a boy.

Romance at its Best

Spencer and Heidi hating on their respective siblings.

Brody Jenner and Doug Reinhardt getting thrown in jail.

And that's just in the two-minute trailer for The Hills!

Seriously, this Season Four preview alone is a theatrical masterpiece. It's as if it's a movie, only the actors don't know they're in it ... or are at least really good at pretending there aren't 12 cameras following them to Les Deux.

Whether you're an unabashed fan of Lauren Conrad and The Hills or say you're not, but you still can't turn off MTV's guilty-pleasure phenomenon, watch the following trailer in awe and count down the days until Monday, August 18:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJfMLInyW24[/youtube]

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by Free Britney at

Tal Cooperman who? Photographed below with Audrina Patridge, Justin-Bobby Brescia crawled out from whatever rock he normally resides under, hitting up a hot holiday party at the DKNY Jeans Beach House in Malibu, Calif.

Happy 4th of July from America's finest specimen!

The Hills' Justin Brescia and Audrina Patridge celebrate the USA's b-day.

Besides the legendary Justin-Bobby, three other (better-looking) cuties from The Hills were there - Lauren Conrad, Lauren Bosworth and Stephanie Pratt! Follow the jump to see some wet, wild and patriotic pictures of them!

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