When we first learned that Orlando Bloom threw a punch at Justin Bieber, we thought the same thing you're probably thinking, whether you said it out loud or not:
That little punk had it coming in the worst way.
Let us be clear: We do not wish Justin Bieber major bodily harm or even emotional trauma. We are not advocating for violence as a means of problem solving.
But if we're being honest with ourselves, this guy could stand to get smacked around a little. You know ... roughed up without serious injury. For his own good.
No, we're not wrong, and this gallery perfectly illustrates 25 reasons why Justin Bieber deserves an a$$ whoopin' of minor to moderate intensity, ASAP:
Yeah. Selfies like this work if you're Matthew McConaughey. Not Justin Bieber. Also, Matthew McConaughey would never post selfies like this because he doesn't need to constantly beg for attention or prove to himself that he's cool.
Let us reiterate, to Orlando or anyone else willing to rise to the challenge: Justin does not need any broken bones or lasting psychological damage.
But a good slap and/or a good hard shaking?
As a human being, the 20-year-old still young and impressionable enough that he may be salvageable. His redeeming qualities are fading fast, however.
If we don't act now, his downward spiral will be complete and there will be no rescuing him from the Douchepocalypse toward which he is hurtling.
For crying out loud, he posted a Miranda Kerr photo on Instagram after the Orlando confrontation. Dude is just asking to be laid the eff out by someone.