by Hilton Hater at

A pair of contrasting celebrities celebrate birthdays today.

First up, Ali Lohan turns 16. She's still too young to go clubbing with her screwed up sister or wear a bathing suit that exposes her cleavage - but, hey, at least she can earn her learner's permit in some states!

Ali is on record as saying she wants to follow in Lindsay's famous footsteps, so expect a solid, Mean Girls-like comedy from her in the near future; followed by a series of box office busts, drunk driving arrests and cocaine smudges on her nostrils.

For now, let's try to celebrate her quasi innocence while it lasts. Enjoy the photo montage below...

  • Lindsay's Sister
  • Ali Lohan Image

Jordin Sparks also celebrates a birthday today. The former American Idol champion turns 20.

She can't drink legally for another year, but we can all raise a glass in appreciation of this seemingly normal, grounded, talented singer. She's the anti-Ali Lohan in every possible way, even swearing off sex until marriage.

Send in your birthday wishes to Jordin - and to Ali, if you really want to - right now and click on the following pics of Sparks to enlarge each one...

  • Pic of Jordin Sparks
  • I Won
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by Free Britney at

Today's two biggest celebrity birthdays have next to nothing in common.

Jordin Sparks won the sixth season of American Idol, and almost more significantly, is an idol American girls can actually look up to. Her down-to-earth nature, self-confidence and family-first values make this 19-year-old a rare star in this era.

Ali Lohan, who turns 37 15 today? She's a train wreck in training.

Not entirely of her own volition, of course. With mom Dina Lohan pimping her hard, Ali has no choice but to become a raging crack whore for the entertainment industry and follow in the twisted, drug-addled footsteps of big sis Lindsay.

Emancipate yourself, Ali. Do it soon. New York courts are so liberal, they might actually go for it. Then move in with Jordin. There's still time!!

Anyway. Here's a photo tribute to the birthday girls. Click to enlarge ...

  • Ali Lohan Image
  • I Won
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