by Free Britney at

He may be a notorious womanizer, but as John Mayer sees it, he's holding back, in large part because of that label he can't seem to shed (fairly or otherwise):

“I should be having sex with more girls.”

Douche on the Move

This is what the douchebag concluded to the New York Times in an interview that ran over the weekend. But alas, the celeb gossip sites have taken their toll.

“It’s crazy to me that in my head, that being 32 and dating women is going to get me in trouble,” he said. “I can’t even explain how terrible that feels."

"I equate dating a woman with punishment, shame, guilt, disappointment, reproach, reprimand, persecution," the self-pity party continued. "It’s a nightmare.”

For John Mayer, being an ambivalent, self-aware heartthrob has its downside.

In the three years since his last album, the double-platinum Continuum, was released, he’s become a notorious tabloid staple as well as a singer/songwriter.

Mayer is known arm candy - Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Aniston - and his tests of will with the media as much as he is for his music. But now it’s music ... right?

His new album, Battle Studies, released on Tuesday, seems to suggest it ... but with a hint of cynicism and bitterness that may stem from his personal life.

Most of its tracks are about love, and about lovers, and about anyone who might be looking and passing judgment from the outside in. Aww. Poor John Mayer.

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by Hilton Hater at

John Mayer may be a total and utter douchebag, but we can say one nice thing about him: The singer is unafraid to praise his competition.

Months ago, he (sort of creepily) gave a shout out to Demi Lovato via Twitter. Now, he's telling Access Hollywood just how awesome Taylor Swift is.

“There’s something about Taylor that she would have been a star in any decade,” Mayer said. “Taylor’s like this fresh voice.”

Swift actually shares a credit with the crooner on “Half of My Heart,” a song off Mayer's new album, "Battle Studies."

  • Mayer
  • Swift, Cute

Mayer says he's most impressed by how calm and humble Swift has remained in the face of such success.

Taylor Swift is the last person to know she’s Taylor Swift, which I think is totally sweet. It’s almost like Taylor Swift is like a character in a movie about a small town girl who has her dreams come true.

"It’s great to have someone who’s hugely talented and still is able to receive the pleasure in all moments.”

It sure is, but you best stay away from her, John! Otherwise, you'll have to answer to Taylor Lautner and his abs of steel!

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by Free Britney at

THG Editors' Note #1: No he's not.

THG Editors' Note #2: There's no way Jennifer Aniston said that, and the odds of her being back on in any way with John Mayer are average at best.

Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie Tabloid Cover

But OK! remains hell-bent on marrying Jen off to John, whose forthcoming album Battle Studies boasts the following lyrics on one of the tracks:

“Friends, lovers or nothing - we can only ever be one.”

There you go! He's totally talking about Jen! Case closed!

An old picture of John and Jen with a new, fake headline.

According to OK!, the all-knowing oracle of made-up tabloid covers celebrity gossip, no-strings-attached hookups have given way to something more for Jen and John.

We are talking about a Full. Blown. Romance.

Fake swoon alert!!

The couple’s secret, steamy nights behind closed doors at Manhattan’s Four Seasons Hotel apparently have fans buzzing. Just imagine if they were actually true.

The Friends star’s plan to finally have the baby she’s been yearning for is also revealed. Note that the same mag declared Jennifer Aniston pregnant weeks ago.

Nonsense. In conclusion, if you want to read a about steamy love affair that actually took place, try the Brooke Hundley-Steve Phillips saga. ESPN-O he didn't!

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by Hilton Hater at

Finally, Miley Cyrus has shut up about the deletion of her Twitter account.

Unfortunately, though, no one told John Mayer that he's a giant douchebag. Or that the nation is sick of hearing about the end of Cyrus Tweeting.

Asked by MTV about Miley's decision, Mayer rambled on with a defense of the Disney star. He said:

"I think she's smart enough to realize there is some interference of the brain that she doesn't want to deal with. Artists have enough to deal with. She's a child, she's a fantastic artist - I think there's enough mental real estate being taken up by dealing with all of that stuff."

  • Mayer in Concert
  • Sex Scene

Mayer wasn't finished making little sense. He added:

"For whatever reason, I am old enough and smart enough to tell someone to go f-ck themselves if they tell me to go f-ck myself. I think if you're in Miley's situation, it might take a little too much time to play goalie for your own heart and mind. So I totally get it.

"Nobody hates Miley Cyrus; they're just picking up on her brand, repurposing it, to try to make a little bit of Miley cash. It's damaging people's minds. Imagine Shannon Doherty with a Twitter account, back in the '90210' days. That would've just flat-out killed her."

Fortunately, instead of writing about her life, Doherty went out and lived it, acting like a bitch, making a sex tape and getting kicked off numerous shows.

As for Mayer, would he ever drop out of Twitter?

"I would rather tell the world to eat my a--hole before I would delete my Twitter account."

That's good to know. John Mayer cares more about his Twitter account than about his fans.

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by Free Britney at

John Mayer may be a douchebag who Googles himself 24/7 and is way too obsessed with Twitter and what people think of him, but we give him credit here.

In addressing one of the recent rumors about him in the celebrity gossip world (while conveniently ignoring another), Johnny posted the following Tweets ...

  • Rumor check: went to gay bar in Palm Springs, correct. Had a blast. Danced my face off. Someone there planted a kiss on me? No.
  • I don't like the story painting gays as unable to control themselves. Found the crowd even more respectful than in a straight club.
  • You know who the most flamboyant crowd is? Straight, drunk girls. They're like a bunch of little Charles Nelson Reillys.

Robert Pattinson's John Mayer's new album cover.

You have to appreciate him going out of his way to shoot down this rumor stemming from gay stereotypes. Unfortunately, regarding those rumors that John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston are back together, he didn't comment. Hmm.

He did post the cover of his new album, natch. See above. What a douchebag.

Looks like one of many Robert Pattinson pictures we've posted of late, with that vintage Edward Cullen hair. Also, the Mayer seems to be emulating the way the New Moon hunk often poses open-mouthed. So seductive.

Only R-Pattz can pull it off, though. Sorry John. Better luck next time.

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by Free Britney at

After alleged summer flings with Bradley Cooper and Gerard Butler, Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are back on as she scrapes the bottom of the dating barrel!

"He really got to her. She's hooked on him," a source tells Us. "She just can't let go." Funny, we heard the same about her and Brad, hence their secret meeting!

The couple got cozy in April 2008 after spending five days together in Miami, then dated for awhile, but went on to split twice - most recently in January 2009.

A source close to Mayer says "They are very close. They remain great friends. He thinks she's amazing, nice and smart, and has nothing but respect for her."

  • Lonely Girl Picture
  • A Douchebag Picture

Are Jen and Jon giving it another go? [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Although they dined separately in NYC on September 22, a source tells they met later that night at the Four Seasons Hotel. Now that's proof right there.

Other reports have claimed they've been texting each other and recently dined with Aniston pals Courteney Cox and David Arquette. Consider us sold!

Jennifer Aniston says she "deeply, deeply cares" about the douchebag, whose next album, Battle Studies, comes out November 17. Can you blame her?

"There's something about John that she just can't resist," says a source.

That something is probably the appeal of not dying alone.

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by Free Britney at

Not all celebrity look-alikes are created equal.

Admittedly, this installment is fueled largely by similar hairstyles among the two stars - but sometimes, as we saw with this Rihanna lookalike, that's all you need.

A John Mayer Picture

THG reader jogirl20099 sent in this photo comparison of John Mayer and Penn Badgley. Okay, it's a younger John Mayer and a much younger Penn Badgley.

Still, it's good enough for our purposes (contact us to submit your own)!

What do you think, readers? Does the douchebag singer look like the Gossip Girl actor before he cut his hair and began dating Blake Lively? Vote below!

Do you see a John Mayer-Penn Badgley resemblance?

 

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by Hilton Hater at

Hours away from the season premiere of The Hills, Kristin Cavallari has two messages for viewers:

  1. She isn't dating John Mayer;
  2. She's very misunderstood and nice.

First things first: Cavallari, who was rumored to be dating the douchey singer, told Ryan Seacrest on his radio show today that she's only met Mayer once - and she turned down his advances.

"I didn't want to be another notch on his belt," she said, taking an indirect shot at Minka Kelly, Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Aniston and the other gorgeous stars that have somehow fallen prey to Mayer's guitar-based charms.

  • Quite Douchey
  • Howdy, Kristin!

Both John Mayer and Kristin Cavallari deny they have ever touched the other one's private parts. [Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

As for The Hills, rumors don't link Kristin to Audrina Patridge; quite the opposite, in fact. The two are reportedly sworn enemies.

"I get along with everybody except for Audrina," Cavallari admits. "I don't not like Audrina. I don't think she likes me."

The same can be said for viewers of Laguna Beach, the 2004 series on which Cavallari originally starred. She claims she broke down in tears the first time she watched her appearance on the former MTV hit.

"I was really upset they portrayed me the way they did," she said.

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by Free Britney at

You know you're a player when you're romantically linked to Scheana Marie, Kristin Cavallari, Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Aniston in the span of a few months and are probably nailing none of the above. But it's believable!

According to Life & Style, Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer have been up to their old tricks again and are "spending a lot of quality time together."

Mmm. We all know what "spending a lot of quality time together" means. It means this celebrity gossip magazine is just plain making stuff up.

An insider says that three days prior to Jen's dinner date with co-star and rumored boyfriend Gerard Butler, she and John went out on a date.

With Courtney Cox and her husband. What's she thinking letting Jen associate with this douchebag? We thought they were friends. So sad.

Janiston

John Mayer sure does get around, at least in magazines' imaginations.

“Jen’s trying to get their relationship back on its feet, so it was a big step. And Courteney is open-minded. All she wants is for Jen to be happy."

And her solution is a double-date with John Mayer? This smells fishier than Lindsay Lohan after ... oh forget it, we don't need to go there now.

The insider adds, “He has a bad reputation with women, but Jen sees John as a sensitive guy who’s pretty much has the key to her heart.”

Jen would likely call BS on this story if she weren't too busy lying in bed eating ice cream at home, lamenting how lonely and pathetic she is.

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by Free Britney at

Jessica Simpson is desperately trying to get back in John Mayer's pants, if you believe the new cover of In Touch. Which you shouldn't, but hey, they printed it.

According to the poor man's OK! Magazine, Jessica wants to reunite with the douchebag after Tony Romo shattered her life by dumping her a few months ago.

Jess Simps

She had "her whole future planned out" with Tony and wanted him to marry her. But then on the night before her birthday in July, everything fell apart. Sniff.

Now he's with Candice Crawford, sister of Gossip Girl star Chace, and even brings her to some of the same restaurants in Dallas he and Jessica used to hit.

“She can’t believe it,” an insider tells the mag. “Even if she doesn’t want Tony back, no one wants to see their ex moving on with a hotter, younger girl.”

DESPERATE HOOKUP: John Mayer definitely qualifies as such.

The fact that Nick Lachey got back together with Vanessa Minnillo hasn't helped Jessica's mindset either. She's becoming Jennifer Aniston-style pathetic.

While Jessica’s "career is going great" - apparently In Touch is stuck in 2003 here - her personal life "is kind of a disaster." At least they got that right.

“This couldn’t have come at a worse time for Jessica,” the friend of hers adds. “It’s opened up a lot of old wounds. She’s pretty insecure about herself."

That insecurity that has led Jessica "down a dangerous path of desperation and loneliness," as she's been secretly hooking up with her ex John Mayer.

Supposedly.

We'll set the over-under on how long it takes the douchebag to deny this on Twitter at two hours, since he Googles himself so often. This morning, he denied a similar rumor about himself - that Kristin Cavallari was playing his meat bugle.

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