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John Mayer is taking a break from dating, he told Ellen DeGeneres on an episode of her show to air today. It's just what the douchebag feels he must do.

You may now return to the dance floor at Les Deux, girls.

Mayer Busts One

"Yeah, I'm a little freaked out about dating," he admits. "So, I'm just going to let time pass and do my thing." (What that is exactly remains to be seen).

Ribbing himself for his famous exes - Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Simpson, Minka Kelly and Jennifer Love Hewitt - the singer said that's part of the reason.

Mayer says his "funny track record" with famous babes is part of why he's taking a break, even though part of him feels he should be getting more chicks.

John Mayer is just focusing on his inner douchebag for a bit.

"For some reason who ever I date has been famous. I can't be like, 'Oh, let me live in private with a famous person who's been around 15 years,'" he says.

"The last thing you want is to see me doing is bashing my head going, 'I'm shocked, that I'm being followed right now.' ... I'm just going to hunker down."

"2010 is a peaceful year for me no matter what I do."

Who he will do in 2010 remains to be seen. Lindsay Lohan is kind of a given at this point, and you know the tabloids will try to set him up with Aniston again.

Other than that, your guess is as good as ours!

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Is Lindsay Lohan finally moving on from Samantha Ronson? Last night at Butter in NYC, it seemed like her sights were set on none other than John Mayer.

The two were seen sharing a table and dancing at the nightclub. If John wants to make good on his wish to bang more girls, that's a good place to start!

Although there was no PDA, a source says LiLo seemed very interested in John Mayer. It's unclear if they discussed her dad's fake suicide Tweet threat.

"She would follow his every move," a source close to the starlet said. "He would dance with the waitresses and then come back. She was way into it."

La Lohan

John Mayer. Lindsay Lohan. It's pretty much inevitable.

Belvedere was the drink of choice for their table, but Lindsay, surprisingly passed on shots that were offered up. John, unsurprisingly, downed them.

So what happened at the end of the night?

LiLo and John were still partying together at 3 a.m., according to a source. No word on whether the douchebag left with the troubled actress or not.

John's camp is staying quiet on this possible toxic pairing, and with good reason. "No comment," they told E! when asked about the train wreck.

L.L., of course, already Twittered about their night together ...

Lohan

You heard it here first. John Mayer is a butter face. And a d-bab.

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Douchebag in Details alert!

John Mayer is featured in the latest issue of this magazine, as he discusses his career, his fans and those that despise the annoying loser.

Guess which camp THG falls into?

Here are a couple excerpts from Mayer's interview, as we ask readers to comment on the singer's tattoos. Are they sexy or shady?

On his music: “I don’t know if you know, but I’m not exactly Bob Dylan – I’m already a pop musician…I want to reach as many people as possible…I don’t mind compromising.”

On his critics: “What if I had a booth on the street and I said, ‘Attention everybody who hates me: If you have a problem with me, I’m ready to hear your gripes! I will be outside the Barneys store on 60th Street from two to four this afternoon... I will only be speaking to people who do not like me. Come out and let me have it.’ How many people do you think would be standing there?…Ze-ro.”

Hear that, haters? You gotta speak up!

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He may be a notorious womanizer, but as John Mayer sees it, he's holding back, in large part because of that label he can't seem to shed (fairly or otherwise):

“I should be having sex with more girls.”

Douche on the Move

This is what the douchebag concluded to the New York Times in an interview that ran over the weekend. But alas, the celeb gossip sites have taken their toll.

“It’s crazy to me that in my head, that being 32 and dating women is going to get me in trouble,” he said. “I can’t even explain how terrible that feels."

"I equate dating a woman with punishment, shame, guilt, disappointment, reproach, reprimand, persecution," the self-pity party continued. "It’s a nightmare.”

For John Mayer, being an ambivalent, self-aware heartthrob has its downside.

In the three years since his last album, the double-platinum Continuum, was released, he’s become a notorious tabloid staple as well as a singer/songwriter.

Mayer is known arm candy - Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Aniston - and his tests of will with the media as much as he is for his music. But now it’s music ... right?

His new album, Battle Studies, released on Tuesday, seems to suggest it ... but with a hint of cynicism and bitterness that may stem from his personal life.

Most of its tracks are about love, and about lovers, and about anyone who might be looking and passing judgment from the outside in. Aww. Poor John Mayer.

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John Mayer may be a total and utter douchebag, but we can say one nice thing about him: The singer is unafraid to praise his competition.

Months ago, he (sort of creepily) gave a shout out to Demi Lovato via Twitter. Now, he's telling Access Hollywood just how awesome Taylor Swift is.

“There’s something about Taylor that she would have been a star in any decade,” Mayer said. “Taylor’s like this fresh voice.”

Swift actually shares a credit with the crooner on “Half of My Heart,” a song off Mayer's new album, "Battle Studies."

  • Mayer
  • Swift, Cute

Mayer says he's most impressed by how calm and humble Swift has remained in the face of such success.

Taylor Swift is the last person to know she’s Taylor Swift, which I think is totally sweet. It’s almost like Taylor Swift is like a character in a movie about a small town girl who has her dreams come true.

"It’s great to have someone who’s hugely talented and still is able to receive the pleasure in all moments.”

It sure is, but you best stay away from her, John! Otherwise, you'll have to answer to Taylor Lautner and his abs of steel!

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THG Editors' Note #1: No he's not.

THG Editors' Note #2: There's no way Jennifer Aniston said that, and the odds of her being back on in any way with John Mayer are average at best.

Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie Tabloid Cover

But OK! remains hell-bent on marrying Jen off to John, whose forthcoming album Battle Studies boasts the following lyrics on one of the tracks:

“Friends, lovers or nothing - we can only ever be one.”

There you go! He's totally talking about Jen! Case closed!

An old picture of John and Jen with a new, fake headline.

According to OK!, the all-knowing oracle of made-up tabloid covers celebrity gossip, no-strings-attached hookups have given way to something more for Jen and John.

We are talking about a Full. Blown. Romance.

Fake swoon alert!!

The couple’s secret, steamy nights behind closed doors at Manhattan’s Four Seasons Hotel apparently have fans buzzing. Just imagine if they were actually true.

The Friends star’s plan to finally have the baby she’s been yearning for is also revealed. Note that the same mag declared Jennifer Aniston pregnant weeks ago.

Nonsense. In conclusion, if you want to read a about steamy love affair that actually took place, try the Brooke Hundley-Steve Phillips saga. ESPN-O he didn't!

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Finally, Miley Cyrus has shut up about the deletion of her Twitter account.

Unfortunately, though, no one told John Mayer that he's a giant douchebag. Or that the nation is sick of hearing about the end of Cyrus Tweeting.

Asked by MTV about Miley's decision, Mayer rambled on with a defense of the Disney star. He said:

"I think she's smart enough to realize there is some interference of the brain that she doesn't want to deal with. Artists have enough to deal with. She's a child, she's a fantastic artist - I think there's enough mental real estate being taken up by dealing with all of that stuff."

  • Mayer in Concert
  • Sex Scene

Mayer wasn't finished making little sense. He added:

"For whatever reason, I am old enough and smart enough to tell someone to go f-ck themselves if they tell me to go f-ck myself. I think if you're in Miley's situation, it might take a little too much time to play goalie for your own heart and mind. So I totally get it.

"Nobody hates Miley Cyrus; they're just picking up on her brand, repurposing it, to try to make a little bit of Miley cash. It's damaging people's minds. Imagine Shannon Doherty with a Twitter account, back in the '90210' days. That would've just flat-out killed her."

Fortunately, instead of writing about her life, Doherty went out and lived it, acting like a bitch, making a sex tape and getting kicked off numerous shows.

As for Mayer, would he ever drop out of Twitter?

"I would rather tell the world to eat my a--hole before I would delete my Twitter account."

That's good to know. John Mayer cares more about his Twitter account than about his fans.

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John Mayer may be a douchebag who Googles himself 24/7 and is way too obsessed with Twitter and what people think of him, but we give him credit here.

In addressing one of the recent rumors about him in the celebrity gossip world (while conveniently ignoring another), Johnny posted the following Tweets ...

  • Rumor check: went to gay bar in Palm Springs, correct. Had a blast. Danced my face off. Someone there planted a kiss on me? No.
  • I don't like the story painting gays as unable to control themselves. Found the crowd even more respectful than in a straight club.
  • You know who the most flamboyant crowd is? Straight, drunk girls. They're like a bunch of little Charles Nelson Reillys.

Robert Pattinson's John Mayer's new album cover.

You have to appreciate him going out of his way to shoot down this rumor stemming from gay stereotypes. Unfortunately, regarding those rumors that John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston are back together, he didn't comment. Hmm.

He did post the cover of his new album, natch. See above. What a douchebag.

Looks like one of many Robert Pattinson pictures we've posted of late, with that vintage Edward Cullen hair. Also, the Mayer seems to be emulating the way the New Moon hunk often poses open-mouthed. So seductive.

Only R-Pattz can pull it off, though. Sorry John. Better luck next time.

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After alleged summer flings with Bradley Cooper and Gerard Butler, Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are back on as she scrapes the bottom of the dating barrel!

"He really got to her. She's hooked on him," a source tells Us. "She just can't let go." Funny, we heard the same about her and Brad, hence their secret meeting!

The couple got cozy in April 2008 after spending five days together in Miami, then dated for awhile, but went on to split twice - most recently in January 2009.

A source close to Mayer says "They are very close. They remain great friends. He thinks she's amazing, nice and smart, and has nothing but respect for her."

  • Lonely Girl Picture
  • A Douchebag Picture

Are Jen and Jon giving it another go? [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Although they dined separately in NYC on September 22, a source tells they met later that night at the Four Seasons Hotel. Now that's proof right there.

Other reports have claimed they've been texting each other and recently dined with Aniston pals Courteney Cox and David Arquette. Consider us sold!

Jennifer Aniston says she "deeply, deeply cares" about the douchebag, whose next album, Battle Studies, comes out November 17. Can you blame her?

"There's something about John that she just can't resist," says a source.

That something is probably the appeal of not dying alone.

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Not all celebrity look-alikes are created equal.

Admittedly, this installment is fueled largely by similar hairstyles among the two stars - but sometimes, as we saw with this Rihanna lookalike, that's all you need.

A John Mayer Picture

THG reader jogirl20099 sent in this photo comparison of John Mayer and Penn Badgley. Okay, it's a younger John Mayer and a much younger Penn Badgley.

Still, it's good enough for our purposes (contact us to submit your own)!

What do you think, readers? Does the douchebag singer look like the Gossip Girl actor before he cut his hair and began dating Blake Lively? Vote below!

Do you see a John Mayer-Penn Badgley resemblance?

 

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