by Free Britney at

John Mayer has long been considered the biggest douchebag in the celebrity universe, or perhaps the entire universe, but The Hollywood Gossip dot com.

We doubt we're alone in that assessment either. If you're still on the fence, see if you are after reading his recent moronic, homophobic, racist comments.

If there's another dude practically synonymous with douchebag, though, it's Jon Gosselin. If you know who Jon Gosselin is, we don't have to elaborate.

But who's the biggest d-bag of them all?

A douchebag is, per the all-knowing oracle of slang Urban Dictionary, "an individual who has an over-inflated sense of self worth." That would be these two.

Moreover, it may be "compounded by a low level of intellegence, behaving ridiculously in front of colleagues with no sense of how moronic he appears."

Sounds about right again.

The only question? Who's the biggest d-bag around? Vote in THG's survey below as the obnoxious namesakes vie for a prestigious, yet unenviable title ...

Who deserves the title of King of all Douchebags?

 

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by Free Britney at

John Mayer is actually a pretty good guitar player. If only he would focus on that skill instead of opening his mouth in interviews (or at all), we'd be all set.

After apologizing for using the n-word and making racially charged statements in a Playboy article, the douchebag may need to say he's sorry yet again.

Jen and John Pic

The Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) is upset, understandably, that the 32-year-old singer used a gay slur, "f*g," in his remarks.

THG NOTE: Whose vocabulary even includes the n-word and the f-word in this day and age - let alone when one is being interviewed by a magazine?!

John Mayer, apparently. And few people are GLAAD.

John Mayer was always a douche. Now he's proving to be much worse.

"Just as he indicated in his apology that he meant no offense in his use of the racist slur, we hope his intent behind the F-word was not malicious," GLAAD wrote.

The group continued, "As a public figure with millions of fans, John Mayer should be more cognizant of the impact his casual use of both slurs can have."

Fittingly, Mayer used the slur talking about a kiss with Perez Hilton, who is gay, and who was in hot water last year for hurling that same slur at will.i.am.

"I can outgay this guy right now," Mayer said. "I grabbed him and gave him the dirtiest, tongue-iest kiss I ever put on anybody, almost as if I hated f*gs."

Uhh, whatever you say, John. Might want to keep your publicist on speed dial ... and/or go somewhere far, far away and never be heard from again.

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by Free Britney at

John Mayer issued an apology on - what else - the moron's Twitter page Wednesday after sparking criticism with racial remarks made in a Playboy interview.

"Re: using the 'N' word in an interview, I am sorry," he Tweeted.

A John Mayer Picture

"I should have never said the word and I will never say it again."

His status as King of All Douchebags remains cemented.

Mayer used the slur when discussing whether he's accepted by rappers like Jay-Z and Kanye West. Let's just say he could've worded his response better.

John Mayer's recent remarks landed him in hot water.

"Someone asked me the other day, 'What's it feel like now to have a hood pass?,'" he told Playboy. "If you really had a hood pass, you could call it a n----- pass."

"But I said, 'I can't really have a hood pass. I've never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, 'We’re full.'"

Like we said, he's a douchebag. And possibly a racist. Great combo.

When asked by a Twitter fan if he would be attending rehab, a la Tiger Woods, Mayer responded: "They don't make rehab centers for being an a-hole." True.

Mayer said nothing about comments about his sex life with ex-girlfriend Jessica Simpson, likening her to "sexual napalm" who he just "couldn't stop f--king."

Again, why choose that wording? Do you want fans to hate you?

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by Hilton Hater at

In a new interview with Playboy, John Mayer makes sure to say that he's NOT a douchebag.

He then spends the entire interview proving why so many people consider him to be a giant douchebag.

We'll let Mayer dig his own douchey grave below, as he recounts what it was like to sleep with Jessica Simpson and why he and Jennifer Aniston broke up...

On sex with Simpson: That girl is like crack cocaine to me. Sexually it was crazy... It was like sexual napalm. Did you ever say, 'I want to quit my life and just f*ckin' snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to f*ck you, I would start selling all my s*** just to keep f*cking you.'"

On Aniston: That woman was the most communicative, sweetest, kindest person.

On their break-up: There was a rumor that I'd been dumped because I was tweeting too much. That wasn't it, but that was a big difference. The brunt of her success came before TMZ and Twitter... She saw my involvement in technology as courting distraction.

THG note: In other words... that was it.

Douche on the Mic

On current sex life: I get less ass now than I did when I was in a local band. Because now I don't like jumping through hoops.

On NOT being a douchebag: From now on I’m just going to pretend that people really dig the s*** out of me. I've been trying to prove to people I'm not a douchebag by not dating, by keeping my name out of Us Weekly. That's f*cked up, man. I'm not dating. I'm not even f*cking. So now I'm going to experiment with 'f*ck you.'

John, your dating life has nothing to do with the public's perception of you. What might make people think you're a douchebag?

Rambling, nonsensical interviews about masturbation and sexual napalm that make you sound like an attention-hungry tool. Or, to use a more apt description: a douchebag.

** UPDATE: WHOA! New excerpts from the interview have been leaked, and they paint Mayer as far more than just a douchebag. Read below.

Continue Reading...

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by Hilton Hater at

We pray this isn't so...

According to In Touch Weekly, John Mayer and Taylor Swift - it pains us to even write these words - hooked up in late January. At least that's what the douchebag of male singer told a friend.

It's already been confirmed that the pair met for dinner in Nashville. But an insider tells the tabloid they got extra cozy in a recording studio there.

“She was sitting on John’s lap, her arms were around him, and she was talking in his ear,” said the source. “They were acting like teenagers.”

Well, Taylor is only 20 years old. Yet another reason (aside from how much cooler she is) for Mayer to keeps his hands off her.

  • A Douchebag Picture
  • Everyone's Choice

Mayer and Swift dined that evening at the restaurant Cabana and were joined by pals afterward. From there, the magazine alleges, they went back The Hermitage Hotel alone, where they were privately escorted to John’s suite.

“Taylor spent the night and enjoyed mid-morning room service before leaving his suite the next day," said the insider, defying the denial from both singers' reps that anything romantic has gone on between the two.

When asked by a friend how his night with award-winning star went, John supposedly laughed and said: “How do you think it went?”

Oh man. Maybe this really did happen. That does sound exactly like something Mayer would say.

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by Free Britney at

John Mayer is a douchebag.

Sorry, but sometimes (okay, often), the dude is just so obsessed with himself and hearing himself talk that we can't think of better words to describe him.

Case in point? His recent comments about Tiger Woods ... and naturally how the golfer's plight relates to that of John Mayer, according to John Mayer.

"Tiger Woods' problems come from him being married. The end," the douchebag explains to the UK's Independent. "It has nothing to do with control."

"If Tiger Woods was a single guy," Mayer opines, "what sort of angle would there be to a text message? If Tiger Woods was single, and he texted a girl and said 'I wanna wear your ass like a hat,' why would that ever hit the news?"

The Douchebag King

He may have a point. But of course, it's all about John Mayer.

"I can text whatever I want to anybody in the world; I'm not married. I write a lot of dirty text messages to girls, and you've never seen any of them," he says.

"Why? Because if a girl brought a dirty text from me to the newspapers, they'd say 'I don't have an angle here. Someone wants to wear your ass like a hat?"

"Big deal. He's 32 years old. He's a single guy. If John Mayer has a wife and sends dirty text messages, then we got a story.' And that's why I won't do that."

"When I get married that's gonna be my vows, 'Do you, John Mayer, take this woman to have and to hold, to wear her ass like headgear, now and forever?'"

"Yes, I do. You're the one whose ass I wanna wear like a hat for the rest of my life. With this whole Tiger Woods scandal," he says, "I wish more people would be like, 'You know what, John Mayer? You didn't f--k up at all.'"

And we thought him bragging about his self-pleasuring expertise was bad. He and Mel Gibson need to start an Egomaniacs Who Heart Tiger Woods club.

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by Free Britney at

Don't complain to us about the risque headline above. John Mayer wrote it for us, basically. The dude may be a tool, but at the very least he is an honest tool.

He does not hold back, either. In the new issue of Rolling Stone, John opens up about Jennifer Aniston, calling their breakup "one of the worst times of my life."

The douchebag singer confesses: “I have this weird feeling, a pride thing, for people I’ve had relationships with. What would I be saying to Jen, who I think is f**ing fantastic, if I said to her, ‘I don’t dislike you. In fact, I like you extremely well."

"But, I have to back out of this because it doesn’t arc over the horizon. This is not where I see myself for the rest of my life, this is not my ideal destiny.”

We think that was a compliment to Jen. Either way, we're pleased to report that John has come to grips with being single. And oh, how gripping it can be.

  • John Mayer Topless
  • The Mayer of D-Bags

John Mayer topless. Hotness personified?

"All I want to do now is f**k the girls I’ve already f**ked," John says, "I can’t fathom explaining myself to somebody who can’t believe I'm interested, and they’re going, ‘But you’re John Mayer!’ So I’m going backwards to move forward.”

"I'm too freaked out to meet anyone else."

As a resort, John has resorted to self-gratification, and he's a pro, if he doesn't say so himself: “I am the new generation of masturbator. I’ve seen it all."

"Before I make coffee, I’ve seen more butt holes than a proctologist does in a week. I have masturbated myself out of some serious problems in my life."

"The phone doesn’t pick up because I’m masturbating. And I have excused myself at the oddest times so as to not make mistakes. If Tiger Woods only knew when to jerk off. It has a true market value, like gold bullion.”

Comment rendered unnecessary.

Reigning Douche King

John Mayer: Guitar icon. Chronic masturbator.

Just to clarify, Mayer says the underlying reason for choking the chicken isn’t to please some carnal urge, but “because I want to take a brain bath. It’s like a hot whirlpool for my brain, in a brain space that is 100 percent agreeable with itself.”

We just hope he washes his hands after.

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by Free Britney at

John Mayer is taking a break from dating, he told Ellen DeGeneres on an episode of her show to air today. It's just what the douchebag feels he must do.

You may now return to the dance floor at Les Deux, girls.

Mayer Busts One

"Yeah, I'm a little freaked out about dating," he admits. "So, I'm just going to let time pass and do my thing." (What that is exactly remains to be seen).

Ribbing himself for his famous exes - Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Simpson, Minka Kelly and Jennifer Love Hewitt - the singer said that's part of the reason.

Mayer says his "funny track record" with famous babes is part of why he's taking a break, even though part of him feels he should be getting more chicks.

John Mayer is just focusing on his inner douchebag for a bit.

"For some reason who ever I date has been famous. I can't be like, 'Oh, let me live in private with a famous person who's been around 15 years,'" he says.

"The last thing you want is to see me doing is bashing my head going, 'I'm shocked, that I'm being followed right now.' ... I'm just going to hunker down."

"2010 is a peaceful year for me no matter what I do."

Who he will do in 2010 remains to be seen. Lindsay Lohan is kind of a given at this point, and you know the tabloids will try to set him up with Aniston again.

Other than that, your guess is as good as ours!

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by Free Britney at

Is Lindsay Lohan finally moving on from Samantha Ronson? Last night at Butter in NYC, it seemed like her sights were set on none other than John Mayer.

The two were seen sharing a table and dancing at the nightclub. If John wants to make good on his wish to bang more girls, that's a good place to start!

Although there was no PDA, a source says LiLo seemed very interested in John Mayer. It's unclear if they discussed her dad's fake suicide Tweet threat.

"She would follow his every move," a source close to the starlet said. "He would dance with the waitresses and then come back. She was way into it."

La Lohan

John Mayer. Lindsay Lohan. It's pretty much inevitable.

Belvedere was the drink of choice for their table, but Lindsay, surprisingly passed on shots that were offered up. John, unsurprisingly, downed them.

So what happened at the end of the night?

LiLo and John were still partying together at 3 a.m., according to a source. No word on whether the douchebag left with the troubled actress or not.

John's camp is staying quiet on this possible toxic pairing, and with good reason. "No comment," they told E! when asked about the train wreck.

L.L., of course, already Twittered about their night together ...

Lohan

You heard it here first. John Mayer is a butter face. And a d-bab.

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by Hilton Hater at

Douchebag in Details alert!

John Mayer is featured in the latest issue of this magazine, as he discusses his career, his fans and those that despise the annoying loser.

Guess which camp THG falls into?

Here are a couple excerpts from Mayer's interview, as we ask readers to comment on the singer's tattoos. Are they sexy or shady?

On his music: “I don’t know if you know, but I’m not exactly Bob Dylan – I’m already a pop musician…I want to reach as many people as possible…I don’t mind compromising.”

On his critics: “What if I had a booth on the street and I said, ‘Attention everybody who hates me: If you have a problem with me, I’m ready to hear your gripes! I will be outside the Barneys store on 60th Street from two to four this afternoon... I will only be speaking to people who do not like me. Come out and let me have it.’ How many people do you think would be standing there?…Ze-ro.”

Hear that, haters? You gotta speak up!

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