by Free Britney at . Comments

Please. Tell us it's not so.

We'll sit in a locked room with nothing more than Britney Spears' new songs and Lindsay Lohan's awful I Know Who Killed Me to entertain us for a full week. Just please, if you have any compassion, spare us this piece of news.

Perez Hilton reported yesterday that singer-songwriter and Grade A douche John Mayer was spotted cozying up to a girl in Austin, Texas. And sources on the scene in Austin say that the girl was - or looked exactly like - Minka Kelly.

The star of Friday Night Lights (which films in Austin) is not only the hottest TV cheerleader around (sorry, Hayden Panettiere), but one of our favorite young stars. The mere thought of her in John Mayer's arms inspires waves of nausea.

Please. Let this John Mayer and Minka Kelly rumor be just that.

Hopefully, this turns out to be mere celebrity gossip and not a romance we have to read about in the tabloids. Then again, John Mayer seems to cycle through babes quick, so if they are dating, at least she'll be single again by November.

by Free Britney at . Comments

What could John Mayer be trying to tell us in his latest blog? That he is over Jessica Simpson's large breasts, moving on to Cameron Diaz, making lame, introspective pop-rock ballads and having a blast posing for ad campaigns with his giant dome?

Something along those lines.

Last night in New York City, John Mayer addressed the recently unveiled, huge billboards and magazine ads flooding America with his huge head.

John Mayer: Poet and blogger extraordinaire.

The singer writes on his official blog:

"Phheww... That's a lot of GAP ads, is all I'm saying. I mean, I hope... Yah. Are we, you kno - yah. We cool? Cause I would nev- good. good. Sorry. Okay, I'm gon-yah, I'm gonna go. NO, I just... I hav- bye."

Translation: I once saw Jennifer Love Hewitt nude, then wrote one of the lamest songs in history about it, but I still saw Jennifer Love Hewitt nude, so the joke is on you, bitches.

by Free Britney at . Comments

If only every rumored couple were sexy, shrouded in a little mystery, and didn't involve lame music. Like Lauren Conrad and Sean Zastoupil.

But alas. We're forced to report to you that John Mayer and Cameron Diaz (yawwwn) were spotted getting their PDA on over the weekend.

The pair, who were first spotted out together in the city last week, were "all over each other" and "super flirty" at the Bowery Hotel Friday, an onlooker said.

Mayer and Diaz, who sat together on a couch in the back of the patio, "were laughing and talking a lot" as the waitress brought several rounds of drinks.

Last Tuesday, the pair were spotted having dessert at the French-Vietnamese restaurant Indochine.

"It looked like a casual date," said a source. "[Cameron Diaz] was giggly. She was laughing and seemed happy."

Asked if the newly-close pair are dating, a source close to Mayer says, "Yes, it's definitely true."

Diaz, who is filming What Happens in Vegas... in New York, split from longtime boyfriend Justin Timberlake back in January.

For his part, John Mayer ended his on-again, off-again relationship with Jessica Simpson's boobs in June.

At least he has his music. Especially that "Wonderland" song. That's gotta cheer him up.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Cameron Diaz is no longer with Justin Timberlake, but she's dipped back into the popular, lame musician well (so to speak) to find herself a new guy: John Mayer!

Just kidding about that. Justin Timberlake isn't lame at all!

John or Johnny?

Diaz, the 34-year-old star of Shrek, There's Something About Mary and a lot of other films, and John Mayer, a singer-songwriter best known for recently dating Jessica Simpson's giant boobs, were spotted out in New York last night.

"They went out to several places... It was the two of them, getting to know each other, out on the town," says a source reportedly close to the couple.

According to a source, Cameron Diaz, who is in New York filming the new comedy What Happens in Vegas, and John Mayer have known each other for quite awhile.

"This was technically not their first time hanging out... they've hung out together with friends before. But this was the first time together like this. It's new and developing... but they really like each other and it went well," the Us Weekly source explained.

A rep for John Mayer would not confirm the couple, saying "We do not comment on our client's personal lives." A rep for Cameron Diaz also had no comment.

Neither star's rep would say if the new couple would wait to set a wedding date, like Nick Cannon and Selita Ebanks, or if they were getting really serious already.

Hey, some couples move faster than others. Jimmy Fallon and Nancy Juvonen met in 2005, while Spencer Pratt fake proposed to Heidi Montag after less than a year!

But we're drifting off topic here. One thing's for sure: there's no great celebrity couple name to be spawned by this pair. Miaz? Dayer? Johneron? Come on guys.

Interestingly, Mayer was linked to another star, Mandy Moore, as recently as this morning. Moore denies they are dating, though, chalking it up to friendship.

Guess he's no DJ AM. And that's saying something.

by Free Britney at . Comments

But backstage, he had some global warnings, if you will. For one, don't you dare ask the pretty boy about Jessica Simpson.

"I'm going to practice some conversation conservation right now and try to minimize my bull$h!t footprint," a coy Mayer quipped to a reporter who asked if he still spoke to Simpson.

Ducking Out

Also, don't ask him if he has any "eco-sins" (as many of Live Earth's electricity-using, private-jet-flying rockers readily confessed to). We've seen him pumping gas, but it's not clear whether he drives a Hummer (or simply receives them from hot girls). Anyway.

"What is my eco-sin?" John Mayer asked.

"I don't know if that is that provocative a question for me. I don't know. I'm still trying to figure out what my motivation is, what is the positive side to the things that I could do?"

Huh? He later added: "If you want to peg me as not being entirely eco-friendly, you'll win. We have a tour, which is inherently carpooling."

We can only conclude from his remarks that John Mayer is...

  1. Stoned.
  2. A total loser.
  3. Both #1 and #2.

Still, he didn't get pulled over with a small cartel of drugs in the car, like Al Gore III - son of Live Earth creator and former Vice President of the United States Al Gore - so there's something to be said for that.

Less confrontational was Kelly Clarkson, who says that while she recycles and carpools, she's still learning the best ways to conserve resources.

"We need just as much information as the audience," she said. "We're not brilliant. I'm not the most educated on the process, but I'm learning."

It's the kind of reply we're accustomed to from the American Idol star, and the honesty (even at her own expense) that we've come to love.

Meanwhile, Rosario Dawson said backstage that not only is she "that person who turns off the light every time I walk out of a room," but that she'd seriously question dating anybody who isn't green.

"I'd probably have a really huge problem with that," she said.

While all these stars are doing their part to help the environment, rumor has it that Britney Spears is simultaneously leading the anti-conservation movem ent.

After all, the lights are on, but there is definitely nobody home up in that piece.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Please ... pick your shocked, awed jaws off the floor.

It appears that the epic romance of Jessica Simpson and John Mayer - a match made in heaven from the start - has officially run its course.

Jessica Simpson: Country Crooner

As first reported by Perez Hilton, Jess and John have split. TMZ cameras caught a solo Mayer at the NYC hotspot Stereo, last night, looking happy on his own.

Get in line ladies, your body could be a wonderland next, if you play your cards right (even if you're not as hot as Jennifer Love Hewitt).

As for the reason for the dissolution, a rep for John Mayer refused to comment on the Grammy winner's personal life and a rep for Jess couldn't be reached.

Could it be because Myer is an award-winning singer and songwriter who meets with presidential candidates and made Time Magazine's 100 Most Influential list, while she's just an airhead with enormous boobs and some hair extensions?

Just a theory.

Still, this is such a shame. Our staff is visibly shaken. We're sure Joe Simpson is really busted up about it. Get it? Bust? Jessica's chest is frickin' huge, people!

Anyway, hang in there, Jess. We know breakups are hard, but one of these days, a dashing Simon Monjack will come along and sweep you off your feet.

by Free Britney at . Comments

He won the approval of Ashlee Simpson.

God knows why.

Jessica Simpson Very Pregnant

Now John Mayer has been signed off on by someone even more central to his girlfriend's life. Her controlling, money-grubbing dad, Crazy Joe Simpson.

Joe may not have approved at first of daughter Jessica Simpson's marriage to Nick Lachey, but he's given her new man, John Mayer, the thumbs up.

"If Jessica is in love, I love the things she is in love with," said Joe Simpson, 49, at the Entertainment Weekly upfront party at The Box in New York City on Tuesday.

"I want her to be happy. I'm always a fan of his. I love him; he's got lame great music."

Simpson wasn't such a fan of Nick Lachey when Jessica married the former boy band dweeb in 2002.

"Everybody thought, including my father, that my marriage to Nick would kill my career," Jessica told 20/20 in 2004.

But Joe Simpson says Mayer is a different story.

"I think the beautiful thing is that [John Mayer and Jessica] don't do the same thing," he told People. "He's a legend already. There is no competition. He's a guitarist; that's his thing. Jessica is a singer. She doesn't play guitar, so there's no competition."

Last month, Jessica and her enormous boobs joined Mayer in Australia, where he was on tour, but she's currently in Europe for the Cannes Film Festival.

For his part, John Mayer was recently in New York City, where he played political strategist to presidential nominee John Edwards.

And you wonder why he's running third in Democratic polls.

So what is Joe Simpson doing at the TV upfronts, where networks present their new lineups? "I'm executive-producing a new show that just got picked up called Women's Murder Club," said the Simpson patriarch and pimp.

"It's [based on] a James Patterson [book] series. We were here for the ABC upfronts â€" Angie Harmon, Laura Harris, Paula Newsome. We've got ourselves a great cast."

Will Jessica or little sister Ashlee be making any cameos?

"This is one thing I'm actually trying to do on my own."

That and wrecking his car and driving off.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Eight months into his relationship with Jessica Simpson, John Mayer has passed an important, severely annoying, untalented hurdle:

He's won the approval of Ashlee Simpson. Whoop dee do.

Eric Johnson and Jessica Simpson

"Ashlee loves John Mayer," a Simpson pal tells People in its new issue. "She thinks he is great for her. More importantly, Jess is happy."

Ashlee Simpson isn't the only one in a positive mood.

"John seems very smitten," says another Simpson pal.

Just back from a romantic trip to Rome, Mayer and Simpson have been making the amore last back in L.A., with kisses over lunch, nuzzles at a James Morrison concert and hand-in-hand strolls.

On March 20, Simpson, 26, and Mayer, 29, happily snapped pictures with fans at a gig of Mayer's bandmate David Ryan Harris at the Hotel Cafe.

And catching Morrison's show at the Roxy, "They were smooching throughout," says a fellow concertgoer. Afterwards, over plastic surgery cocktails at Parc restaurant with Ashlee, 22.

"They were holding hands and laughing constantly," says an onlooker. "Jessica looks really comfortable with him."

Friends say Simpson is relishing this romance, which is low-key compared to her time with ex-husband Nick Lachey (or her sex romp with Bam Margera).

"When she was with Nick, she was really under her family's thumb," says a friend. "This is a relationship that is all hers."

Kind of how Ashlee feels about her new nose, chin and boobs. Oh, snap. Observes another pal, Christina Milian, who was in Simpson's "Public Affair" video:

"Clearly this is a relationship that's not for the cameras. It's not about celebrity. It seems like they truly have an attraction to each other, and they're both clearly very talented as well."

No word on whether Pete Wentz approves of John Mayer. Or whether he tells his friends that he's not dating Ashlee Simpson.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Jessica Simpson gets pumped by John Mayer, if you know what we're saying. We're saying they probably have the sex (no one dates her for her personality).

Well, before a trip to Jessica Simpson's love nest, Mayer practiced a different kind of pumping - dispensing petroleum byproducts into his phat ryde.

Holdin' Hands

The price of gas there in Santa Monica ($3.09/gallon) might give most of us a heart attack, but Mayer needs to get oiled up, if you know what we're saying. Forget it.

It's nice to see that he can handle the task himself, though. Mischa Barton would be so proud... and Oprah would no doubt be envious.

One wonders what the expression on his face suggests, however. Are the jugs of motor oil he's holding conjuring up images of Jessica Simpson's jugs?

Probably not. But that is some rack. Damn. Come on, those things are big. They're the current frontrunner in our celebrity boobs poll, in fact!

by Mischalova at . Comments

Time changes everything, readers. Like seasons and months, for example.

Not to mention relationships. Nick Lachey spent time in Italy less than two years ago, for example. He was there to celebrate his third wedding anniversary with his wife. Now that wife is spending time in that same country with another man.

Skort

Her name? Jessica Simpson.

The new man's name? John Mayer.

His music? Lame.

But "she's really happy," says longtime Simpson friend and New York City colorist Rita Hazan, who touched up the singer's brunette locks before her departure.

While in Rome, Mayer and Simpson booked a top floor suite at the Hotel de Russie â€" the same hotel where some of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes's guests stayed during the couple's November nuptials.

On March 8, the lovebirds lunched at Dal Bolognese restaurant. "He was smiling very much and she was giggling a lot," says a source at the eatery.

"They held hands for much of the time and had eyes only for themselves."

The next stop was Via Condotti, Rome's most exclusive shopping street. The couple stopped to shop at Fendi, Gucci, Valentino and even La Perla's luxury underwear shop. You know, in case Jessica wanted to do her best Sophie Anderton impression later that night.

The pair left Rome Tuesday, according to a source who says, "They're back in L.A. now. They had a fantastic trip."

John Mayer Biography

John Mayer With Long Hair John Mayer is a singer, songwriter, guitar player and Grade A douchebag hailing from Connecticut. The cheesy musician has become a major... More »
Born
Birthplace
Bridgeport, Connecticut
Full Name
John Clayton Mayer

John Mayer Quotes

The feathered cut projects an attitude of ease and quiet confidence that seems to have all but eluded our generation. This is a work in progress, and as my hair grows longer it will serve to become a more stirring and poignant statement.

John Mayer [on haircut]

To adults who will vote for him, Barack Obama represents a return to prosperity. To the youth, he represents an introduction to it.

John Mayer
× Close Ad