by Free Britney at . Comments

What would this traditional American holiday be without family, food, football and reflection upon the things we appreciate the most in life - in our case, some of the biggest turkeys we've had the privilege of covering this year.

With that said, we present our Top 10 Turkeys of 2008 ...

10. John Mayer. A douchebag 364 days a year. Honorary poultry today.

9. Britney Spears. Last year's top turkey falls to #9 by virtue of calming the hell down from February on. The first month of 2008 alone, though? Wow.

8. Miley Cyrus. Anyone who goes topless for Vanity Fair at age 15 and/or celebrates their birthday four months in advance automatically makes the list.

7. Courtenay Semel. She's far from the first E-list celebrity go to great lengths for publicity. Pretending to be a lesbian sets the bar pretty low, though.

6. Adrienne Bailon. Being dumb enough to take nude pics and let them get stolen is one thing. Staging the entire stunt with your loser publicist? Pathetic.

A collection of some of the year's biggest turkeys.

5. Ashlee Simpson. The zenith of uselessness to begin with, Jessica's l'il sis went and named her kid Bronx Mowgli. Just a "fowl" move all around.

4. (Tie) Sarah Palin, for this heartwarming Thanksgiving video, and her #1 fan Elisabeth Hasselbeck, 'cause no turkey gets ruffles feathers quite like her.

3. Alex Rodriguez. Months without a clutch hit. Railing strippers. Divorcing Cynthia Rodriguez. Referring to Madonna his "f*%king soulmate, dude." Gobble, gobble.

2. Eliot Spitzer. The Governor of New York State apparently thought it was worth his job and marriage to give call girl Ashley Dupre a good "stuffing." Har har.

1. Spencer Pratt. The villain you love to hate from The Hills capped off a hilarious year by eloping with Heidi Montag. Say what you will about him, Spencer plays the celebrity gossip game to perfection, 24/7/365. And we love him for it.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Trust us, it's for your own good.

The singer-songwriter took a break from wining and dining Jennifer Aniston Tuesday night, and things got a little rough for a celebrity gossip photographer who tried to procure a picture of the crooner but got too close for his bodyguard's liking.

Mayer dined with a friend at Wolfgang’s Steakhouse in Beverly Hills, then departed out the front door, right into the belly of the celeb news monster.

So to speak.

As the douchebag musician ducked into his BMW, his bodyguard shoved a celebrity gossip cameraman to the ground, briefly grabbing him by the throat in the process.

The photographer, Marc Rhea, immediately stood up and started screaming at Mayer & Co. before visiting a Tarzana hospital to make sure he had no serious injuries.

Rhea has not filed a police report. Yet. Here's the altercation ...

by Free Britney at . Comments

Attention, John Mayer fans, all four of you: There's no need to worry. He's doing okay and refuting recent claims that he's taken on a "depressive demeanor."

"I am not darker, angrier or moodier these days. In fact, it's just the opposite," the douchebag writes on his official blog, adding that his recent pattern of playfully engaging the paparazzi was just a phase he has now put an end to.

"All that's happened is that I have given up on trying to find a way to use unwanted media as a form of entertainment. It still was worth a try."

"A walk to the car isn't the best time to analyze my mood or my disposition, so you'll probably always get a bad read from it," the crooner laments.

"The decision to slide on and off your radar isn't so much my own anymore. But I'm too young to stomp my feet about it," Mayer continues. "All I can do is concentrate on keeping my heart and soul correct and then redecorate around it."

Sounds like a line straight out of The Hills.

Mayer split from Jennifer Aniston in August, then rekindled their romance last month, with the couple celebrating his 31st birthday together.

The bogus pregnancy rumors followed shortly thereafter.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Stop the presses: Jennifer Aniston is totally pregnant! With twins! And John Mayer is the dad! Except if you read the article, she's actually not. Minor detail.

The incredible Star Magazine claims Jen is "trying" to have a baby with that douchebag crooner before she turns 40. And she's pulling out all the stops.

Pretty Jen

A conveniently anonymous source said, "Her baby-making years are limited. It's hard for her to think of anything else. She has babies on the brain!"

Just not actually inside her.

SO THERE, ANGIE, INDEED: Jennifer Aniston is said to be pregnant for the 48th time this year. Except by pregnant, Star Magazine means not pregnant, of course.

In other made-up news on the same magazine cover, Lindsay Lohan supposedly hooked up with Justin Timberlake. Hey, why stop at one bogus story, right?

And elsewhere in the disgrace-to-celebrity-news world, how about Cosmo putting Britney Spears circa 2003 on the cover of its Australian edition this month!

Don't get us wrong, it's a smokin' hot pic. Just misleading.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Here's a photo of John Mayer shirtless, and it causes us to ask:

What's the big deal?!?

Douchebag

Is this image really so sexy, so seductive, so irresistible that it would enable the douchebag to bed Jessica Simpson, Minka Kelly, Cameron Diaz and even Jennifer Aniston?

If you're a female - or Perez Hilton - reading this, please write in and let us know the appeal of John Mayer. The guy scores more in a week than Bret Michaels does on an entire season of Rock of Love.

Is it his looks? Or just his cheesy lyrics?

And if it's the latter, attention Megan Fox: your body is a wonderland.

There. Can we expect a call from the actress now?

by Free Britney at . Comments

Jessica Simpson is devastated and getting hammered every time she thinks of John Mayer tapping the spectacular booty of Jennifer Aniston.

But another Mayer ex, Minka Kelly, is all good with it.

Wedding AND a Baby!

"I wish them the best," the Friday Night Lights star said at NBC's upfront presentation in New York City on Monday night.

The extremely hot actress, 27, and the douchebag singer, 30, debuted as a couple in October 2007, but called it off in January.

"John initiated the split," a friend of the couple said at the time. "He just wasn't ready to commit to Minka or to anyone."

That's the understatement of the year. Guy cycles through women (and Perez Hilton) like nobody's business.

John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston have been hot and heavy in Miami and New York over the past few weeks. Ew.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Singer John Mayer did not address his alleged make-out session with celebrity news blogger Perez Hilton during an XM radio interview yesterday.

He did, however, bash Perez Hilton personally more than once.

He complained on the radio that the general public "are people who ... couldn't name me three songs off one record, but get onto a blog and go to the comments and say, 'Well, he was with that dog so-and-so. He probably smells like butt.' You know, people try to like do the Perez Hilton syntax, and it's terrible."

Umm... sure thing John!

Mayer also said that when Perez Hilton got his own VH1 reality show, What Perez Sez, "that was the moment when the Fourth Wall broke."

John Mayer is hitting back against Perez Hilton and celebrity gossip in general ... although he's not denying that their alleged make-out session took place.

"I have never seen it, but that was the moment that the wall broke, and we realized that these people don't really hate celebrities," John Mayer said.

"They just want to be actually in there."

NOTE: We're starting to believe Perez more and more on this one.

Mayer said he expected more Hilton / celeb gossip copycats to emerge and get even nastier when it comes to critiquing news and celebrities' every move:

"There are 14-year old kids who think "Ehh, good Perez Hilton, but not good enough: I must add to that.... (typing) ... he's actually a douchebag!'"

by Free Britney at . Comments

We have to give credit to Perez Hilton this time.

Steering clear of politics, the infamous blogger is sticking with what has made him a household name - spreading juicy celebrity gossip.

Perez's accusation of the day: That John Mayer is "definitely" bisexual and that Hilton himself made out with the lame singer.

"He is definitely bi," Hilton declared on Ryan Seacrest's KIIS-FM radio show, adding that Mayer is "struggling with his sexuality."

Of their liplock at the New York City club Stereo last year, Hilton said:

"He kissed me, and I kissed him back. It was on the mouth. With tongue. I thought he was messing with me ... Then he kept going and going."

John Mayer is sexually confused and plays for both teams, according to celebrity blogger Perez Hilton, who says he has personally made out with the singer.

Elaborating further, Perez Hilton claims that Jessica Simpson â€" John Mayer's girlfriend at the time of the supposed hookup â€" didn't mind.

"While John Mayer and I are making out, she is rubbing his crotch," Hilton recalled to Seacrest, who seemed a bit thrown off by the discussion.

Mayer's rep tells Us Weekly in response to Hilton's story, "This is all so ridiculous," while Simpson's rep had no comment.

Hilton insisted, "It's 100 percent true."

by Free Britney at . Comments

Thanks to People magazine for this great compilation of celebrity quotes. This is what some of our favorite celebs had to say this week ...

"I love Africa in general. South Africa and West Africa. They are both great countries."
- Paris Hilton

Untamed

"This is, quite simply, untrue."
- John Mayer, responding to a New York Post gossip item that said he's "been know to respond to online rumors," on his blog

"There's lot of motion in the ocean. It's almost like riding a wave. I have to be the glass and [Karina Smirnoff] is the water."
- Dancing With the Stars contestant Mario, on his moves

"They had to tell people to calm down."
- Joe Jonas, on the boisterous response to the Jonas Brothers' Dancing with the Stars performance this week

"I need a rebondir."
- Lauren Conrad, admitting that she'd like to meet a "rebound" in Paris to help her forget Brody Jenner, on The Hills premiere, "Paris Changes Everything."

"I flipped a couple haters at Benihana just last night."
- Spencer Pratt, dispensing wisdom in his Radar advice column

"Say what?"
- Mariah Carey, asked if she is a fan of The Hills on the live after-show

"I'm just like them. I just happen to be a little more famous."
- Kentucky native George Clooney, on his fellow Kentuckians

"We make web videos for Jesus."
- Miley Cyrus

by Mischalova at . Comments

Now that Miley Cyrus has broken up with Nick Jonas, might she be moving on to an older man?

We're just kidding. While John Mayer might be a loser of a cheese ball, the singer isn't a pedaphile. He's just a fan.

Full of Glamour

That's why Mayer is seen here, posing backstage with 15-year-old Cyrus at the "Hannah Montana: Best of Both Worlds" Tour on Saturday during her Las Vegas stop.

John Mayer Biography

John Mayer With Long Hair John Mayer is a singer, songwriter, guitar player and Grade A douchebag hailing from Connecticut. The cheesy musician has become a major... More »
Born
Birthplace
Bridgeport, Connecticut
Full Name
John Clayton Mayer

John Mayer Quotes

The feathered cut projects an attitude of ease and quiet confidence that seems to have all but eluded our generation. This is a work in progress, and as my hair grows longer it will serve to become a more stirring and poignant statement.

John Mayer [on haircut]

To adults who will vote for him, Barack Obama represents a return to prosperity. To the youth, he represents an introduction to it.

John Mayer
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