Joanna Krupa The Real Housewives of Miami

The Real Housewives of Miami gossip, back stab, and cry "She Beat me to the Tweet!"  We break down all of the "nice nasties" in our THG +/- recap.

I have one thought when I watch this show. Miami is gorgeous. Unfortunately, I can't say the same about the women, at least not after you spend some time with them.

After last week's debacle at Mynt, Romain and Joanna need to talk.  He's fed up, with reason.  When Joanna plays it off like it was only because she was drunk, Romain shoots back "Maybe you're drunk every day."  Minus 12.  That's a big problem.

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The Real Housewives of Miami starts off with sun and fun and palm trees and ends with "A Mynt Meltdown" and one hot mess of a night. We recap all the tears, fears and accusations in our THG +/- review.

The help plays a big role in the lives of the Housewives and sometimes it's hard to figure out who works for whom.  Lisa's housekeeper/assistant/confidante Daysy's main job seems to be to keep Lisa company.  Minus 8.  How much do they pay her for that?

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The Real Housewives of Miami are back with "Text, Lies, and Your Smile Is Fake." We recap the odd confrontations, commitment issues, and pirate ships in THG's +/- review.

Well, fake smiles hardly seem like an issue when so many other body parts are fake on the Housewives of Miami but we'll skip over that and head right to our update.

Elsa survived her collapse at the Food and Wine festival.  She was sent home from the hospital with a clean bill of health.  Plus 7.  Her only concern was whether she looked like a lady when she hit the floor.

Adriana drops in for a visit and Elsa gives her an opinion on her relationship with Frederic.  Frederic loves her more than she loves him and Adriana's still so scarred from her first marriage that she's not ready to get married.

Plus 10 because whether it's her psychic abilities or old fashioned common sense, Elsa is spot on.

Elsa's advice however leaves something to be desired.  She tells Adriana to put her head on the right pillow and that's the one that's full of money.  Minus 8.  Money helps but it won't keep you from getting your heart crushed.

Later Frederic tells her he wants to marry her now but he's willing to wait. He really seems to love her. Adriana says she wants to wait until the boat is finished. 

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The Real Housewives of Miami returned with a  "A Tale of Two Miamis." I'm not sure even one was necessary. but let's recap all of the plastic faces and sleazy boyfriends in our THG +/- review.

Admittedly, I never watched season one of The Real Housewives of Miami. Apparently I'm not the only one. I believe it was one of the lowest rated Housewives premieres ever. 

And yet, we are blessed with a revamped season two. Minus 8.

I thought the Real Housewives of Orange County and Beverly Hills had cornered the market on plastic. Boy, was I wrong. Step aside California. The ladies of Miami are lifted, tucked, botoxed, and enhanced beyond your wildest dreams or my nightmares. Minus 12. The shine off of all of that plastic is blinding me.

Marysol's mother, Elsa is the obvious horror story.  What happened to this poor woman?  Was she a plastic surgery addict?  She says it was a surgical accident but can one bad surgery cause that?  Too bad her psychic powers couldn't tell her to find a better surgeon.

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