by Free Britney at . Comments

Once again, the incomparable Stephen Colbert has taken the time out of his hit Comedy Central show, The Colbert Report, to tackle more important issues. It's been a hell of a week. Who (and what) makes the latest edition of the "On Notice" board? Let's see...

It's impossible to argue with his selections. Divorce settlements are bad news all around (talking to you, Britney). And what's with everybody's fiancee getting knocked up before walking down the aisle? It's not just for Keri Russell and Amanda Peet anymore. Everybody's doing it this way. Was there some memo we didn't get?

As for the rest of the list...

  • It's the hair. What else could possibly keep Sanjaya Malakar on American Idol? Watching the guy is raw pain. Yet he stays. Every week. As our ears bleed. Literally.
  • We get it. Heather Mills has a prosthetic leg, yet is on a reality show about dancing! Amazing! Enough. Shouldn't science get the credit for making this possible, not the gold-digging former call girl?
  • Mortgage lenders are paying the price for issuing many thousands of home loans to borrowers with bad credit. If your credit is so poor that you can't qualify for low mortgage rates, should you really be buying a house at all? Think about it.
  • François-Henri Pinault, if you don't treat Salma Hayek right, we will end you.
  • What is it with Laguna Beach graduates and getting arrested? First Jason Wahler (x3), now Jessica Smith. This town should hire one of its less troubled alums, Lauren Conrad, to conduct an anti-DUI seminar.
  • Everyone's trying the pink hair thing. Scarlett Johansson. Kelis. Rachel McAdams. Joss Stone. In a word, it looks really friggin' lame. Get a life! Pink (the singer, not the color) is rolling in her grave.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Jason Wahler would be smiling if he could see this.

Our counterparts at TMZ have learned that troubled Laguna Beach star Jessica Smith has just been released from an Orange County jail after being charged with two misdemeanor counts of DUI.

Smith, 19, spent nearly three days behind bars after her arrest Monday on suspicion of felony driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs, and causing "great bodily injury" during a car crash on the Santa Ana Freeway near L.A. This hot Jessica Smith mug shot soon followed.

Man, everyone is getting busted for driving wasted these days. Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton, Vivica A. Fox, Taboo.

DUI is totally becoming the new stalking!

Jessica Smith had a blood alcohol level of .12, significantly above California's legal limit of .08. She's also underage, of course. Ouch.

TMZ reports that because Smith wasn't charged with a felony (unlike her loser ex-boyfriend), her bail was reduced from $100,000 to $5,000, but Smith was apparently unable to raise even the reduced sum until today.

Under the terms of her release, Smith has been ordered not to drink alcohol and to attend one AA meeting a week until her arraignment April 25. Maybe she and Britney Spears can go to the same meetings. Cute!

Jessica recently took some off from Orange County's Saddleback College to tour Europe as a spokesperson for the travel guide, "Let's Go."

She then returned to school (and Season 3 of Laguna Beach, loser), but that may change if she returns to the Big House instead! Oh snap!

Jessica Smith Biography

Jessica Smith Mug Shot Jessica Smith is a Laguna Beach alumna who just can't seem to move on with her life. Or stay out of trouble. She appeared on Seasons 2... More »
Full Name
Jessica Smith
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