Either that, or girl needs a stylist - STAT.

Double-belted into vintage mom jeans, the alleged pop singer / former reality TV star / attempted country crooner Jessica Simpson appeared at some sort of chili cook-off concert thingy in Florida this weekend. And appear she did.

Posted in: Jessica Simpson

We know this dress would up on Tony Romo's floor two hours after this photo was taken - but did it look better on Jessica Simpson than on Miranda Kerr?

That's the question of the hour. The quote-unquote singer and actress stopped by The Late Show with David Letterman in a black Hervé Léger frock, while the Victoria's Secret model turned up in a red version at the brand's fashion show.

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It's a celebrity fashion battle for the ages... and one in which both subjects possess a remarkable lack of talent. But we're here to talk about style and that's it, so it's cool.

Alleged singer Jessica Simpson showed her true spots in a Diane von Furstenberg wrap dress (as Whitney Port rolls over in her grave) while shopping in N.Y.C, while socialite Paris Hilton hit the town in London in the pink leopard-print frock ...

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A dressed-terribly down Jessica Simpson (showing her support for boyfriend / playoff choke artist Tony Romo and his Dallas Cowboys) totes around her dog Daisy and some chick during a trip to Ralph's supermarket in Los Angeles Monday.

Which is good news. We're glad Jessica actually eats from time to time.

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Oh, who are we kidding. No one cares about Jessica Simpson's fashion choices! The title of this post was just an excuse to talk about her body, as showcased the other night during her b-day celebration with boyfriend Tony Romo.

This photo sums up Jessica Simpson so perfectly, illustrating the top two reasons for her fame better than a thousand words ever could...

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Look out, underwear-wearers everywhere. Jessica Simpson is adding lingerie designer to her lengthy, mostly terrible resume.

The "singer" and "actress" apparently already has successful handbag, shoe, sunglass and swimsuit lines. Seriously, she does.

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It's Valentine's Day and what girl wouldn't enjoy a nice pink dress to wear on a romantic date this evening? Certainly the celebs below would be up for it!

Country queen Carrie Underwood, for one, is proving you don't have to show a lot of skin to be hot. Jumper star Rachel Bilson takes a similar attitude.

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Jessica Simpson Biography

Best Jessica Simpson Photo Ever Sweet mother of G-d, Jessica Simpson has got some huge breasts. Holy frickin' $h!t. Look at those things! She also possesses a singing... More »
Born
Birthplace
Abilene, Texas
Full Name
Jessica Ann Simpson

Jessica Simpson Quotes

They're just the cutest couple in the world. They are adorable. Anybody would wish to be them and you can only wish them well. Just being around them inspires love and everything I sing about.

Jessica Simpson [on her sister and Pete Wentz]

It’s fun to do a small film that might be released to DVD not because it’s a horrible film, but because it’s an independent film. For people to say Employee of the Month was a flop is ludicrous. We made the money back–that’s not a flop. For people to say The Dukes of Hazzard was a flop–it opened to $30 million! If these movies are flops, why would I still make them?

Jessica Simpson