by Mischalova at . Comments

Sorry, but The Gossip tells it like it is. We'll be the first to say when a Jessica Alba picture is scorching hot.

We'll also line up to tell a different Jessica that she has some serious work to do.

Jessica Simpson Pregnant Belly Pic

Perhaps Jessica Simpson has a valid excuse for looking homely these days. After all, Bam Margera just went public with the twosome's bedroom shannigans. And sister, Ashlee Simpson, is actually receiving positive reviews for her work in Chicago.

But is bitterness or jealousy a reason to look like this?

Get a grip, girl! We don't wanna compare you to any Britney Spears pictures again.

We understand life - and that hairstyle - can be difficult. But if you're not gonna get yourself together for you, do it for Nick Lachey. How can he continue to garner sympathy with cheesy songs about being dumped when his ex looks so loathsome?

by Free Britney at . Comments

The Hollywood Gossip is proud to bring you Tale of the Tape, in which we break down prospective matchups within the celebrity world that you might never have considered. Because they are pointless, and above all, not real.

Our current match-up features a pair of sisters... that's four celebs in all. You know these siblings well, and may harbor strong feelings towards them. Some of you may have even slept with one of them. Who are we to say? All we know is that when the gloves come off between the Olsen Twins and the spawn of Crazy Joe Simpson, you are gonna see some insane $h!t.

Jessica On Her Back

But enough with the hype. Here's Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen vs. Jessica and Ashlee Simpson for all the marbles. Ding, Ding!

1. PARENTAL INFLUENCE

Mary-Kate / Ashley: The fraternal twins have been forced to appear in TV and films since infancy, and are probably f*%ked in the brain for life
Jessica / Ashlee: At least they had a somewhat normal childhood before fame turned their Dad into an insane person
Edge: Simpsons

2. CHEST SIZE

Mary-Kate / Ashley: Nothing to write home (or blogs) about
Jessica / Ashlee: Have you seen this Jessica Simpson picture? Ashlee isn't hurting in this department, either...
Edge: Simpsons

3. STYLE

Mary-Kate / Ashley: While both have become style icons, Mary-Kate dresses more chic, while Ashley is more conventionally stylish. Both are known for wearing flip-flops, as well as accessories such as large sunglasses
Jessica / Ashlee: Whatever she wears looks hot (Jessica); Changes look too often to be recognized (Ashlee)
Edge: Simpsons

4. CAREER ACCOMPLISHMENTS

Mary-Kate / Ashley: Starred on Full House (1987-1995), along with more than a dozen movies; Youngest people ever to receive stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame
Jessica / Ashlee: Six studio albums and more than 16,000,000 units sold between them; Various acting roles
Edge: Olsens

5. EATING DISORDERS

Mary-Kate / Ashley: May not have ingested food since 2002
Jessica / Ashlee: Ashlee has slimmed down, but not to that degree
Edge: Olsens

6. EX-BOYFRIENDS, HUSBANDS, RANDOM HOOKUPS

Mary-Kate / Ashley: Stavros Niarchos
Jessica / Ashlee: Nick Lachey, Braxton Olita, John Mayer, Bam Margera
Edge: Simpsons

7. FINANCIAL SITUATION

Mary-Kate / Ashley: Reported to be worth $150 million each; Named the "Most Powerful Young Women in Hollywood" by the Hollywood Reporter
Jessica / Ashlee: Very wealthy, but only making real money in the past five years or so... plus, Nick Lachey could take a lot of Jessica's dough!
Edge: Olsens

8. CONTROVERSIES & SCANDALS

Mary-Kate / Ashley: Eating disorders, drug abuse, acting like bitches to Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan
Jessica / Ashlee: Little talent, adultery, plastic surgery accusations, bogus sex tapes, lip-synching on TV
Edge: Even

9. MEMORABLE QUOTES

Mary-Kate / Ashley: "I want to go to culinary school because I love cooking. One day I'd love to open up a restaurant or cafe." -- Mary-Kate Olsen
Jessica / Ashlee: "Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it says 'Chicken of the Sea.'" -- Jessica Simpson
Edge: Simpsons

10. OVERALL HOTNESS

Mary-Kate / Ashley: Stay away!
Jessica / Ashlee: Any day!
Edge: Simpsons

THE VERDICT: Sorry, Mary-Kate and Ashlee. Jessica and Ashlee have ruled this duel and straight up bitch-slapped you with a commanding 6.5-3.5 victory. Go do some drugs and throw up today's lunch to make yourselves feel better.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Hey, remember when Jessica Simpson was an innocent virgin bride?

Yeah. Neither do we.

Black and White Jessica

Following 18 months of rumors that she cheated on then-husband, Nick Lachey, at least one truth has supposedly come out: Jackass star, Bam Margera, did indeed have sex with Joe Simpson's daughter.

On Howard Stern's September 19 Sirius radio show, the prankster came clean about the oh so dirty evening. He even named the date: April 11, 2005. According to Bam, Jessica took him back to her parents' home in Los Angeles' Encino area.

"We were just drinking margaritas and stuff, and you know, from there …"

When Stern asked how a nude Jessica Simpson looked, Margera profoundly responded, "good." 

When asked by a reported from Us Weekly how many times he, well, bammed Simpson, Margera said just once.

"It was when her parents were away and Nick was away. It's not a secret."

But it is juicy! Especially when Crazy Joe Simpson shot back that he wanted to "beat the crap out of people who say things like this." Hmmm ... doesn't sound like a denial to the staff of The Gossip. Aside from spilling the banging beans, doesn't even sound like Bam was that raunchy about the night of passion.

The same can't be said for Simpson, however. During a recent interview in Allure magazine, the former virgin wore a rooster pendant and joked: "I don't have a c--k at the moment, so I wear one around my neck."

Okay then. Here's some advice then: Pass around this Jessica Simpson picture and we're pretty sure a yacht load of c--ks will line up at your door shortly.

by Free Britney at . Comments

The humble abode that Jessica Simpson and younger sister Ashlee Simpson used to call home is officially on the market.

Located in the heart of Dallas, Texas, the home is currently going for a reasonable $200,000. With home loan rates on the decline, and Texas real estate representing some of the best investment opportunities in the U.S., you'd be a fool to pass on this gem!

Announcing the Nominees

Except for the fact that it's in Dallas, which sucks royally. Everyone who's from there knows it, too.

The Simpsons lived there until 1998, when friends of the family bought it. According to sources familiar with the house in the city's Richardson Heights neighborhood, the sellers are not looking to hawk it to Simpson fanatics. Sorry, dudes. You'll have to continue getting your sick fix by digging through their garbage.

"When the listing first went up, the Jessica Simpson lineage was used to sell the home, but it was attracting the wrong sort of buyers," an agent said. "Media attention and 'looky loo' traffic was causing quite a stir for the sellers."

The house has five bedrooms, one of which surely used to hold a number of framed Jessica Simpson pictures. It is being shopped as a home with an "enjoyable backyard with huge diving pool, landscaping and decking." The listing even boasts of "having recent upgrading [sic]."

The buyer will have the option of sending their kids to Pearce High School, the same place where Jessica roamed the halls during her teenage years (no doubt wearing some really tight shirts, resulting in many an adolescent fantasy).

That's also the place where Ashlee once shattered glass with her awful singing voice, which drove her classmates crazy, and drove her crazy Dad to axe in favor of professional lip-synching once he purchased her a music career.

Skank.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Jessica Simpson just can't get enough of breasts. Chicken breasts, that is.

The Employee of the Month star plans to open her own chain of barbeque restaurants called "Daisy Duke's" in the near future.

Romo and Simpson Pic

Reports state the star will provide backing for the restaurants - which will feature scantily-clad waitresses in tiny hot pants, naturally - named after her most famous screen character from the film remake of the hit TV show, Dukes of Hazzard.

The first store is rumored to open in Las Vegas next year, with Jessica scheduled to make at least five appearances there. Hey, maybe Nick Lachey can stop by on his tour. The man loves himself some corn bread!

Who came up with this grand plan? Crazy Joe Simpson, of course.

A source told America's Life and Style Weekly magazine: "Joe's going to make a lot of money from this."

Phew. We were worried about his finances for a second there. Now, though, he may be next on the marrying list for Heather Mills. Take cover, Joe.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Bobs. Yes, folks, we're facing a handful of bobs these days - and, no, we're not just going through Office Space quotes here.

A trio of the world's most beautiful, talent and excruciatingly thin stars have taken on a new hairstyle. You may have look closely to see the rest of Kate Bosworth, but it's difficult to miss her hair in the following photo:

Simps

What do you guys think? Prefer the old, longer-haired Madonna? How does the photo above compare with other Jessica Simpson pictures? Leave a comment and let us know!

by Mischalova at . Comments

Let's start with Jessica Simpson and how the filming of her new movie, Employee of the Month, helped her navigate through a difficult life adjustment.

"I was going through a pretty rough time while making Employee of the Month," she said at the film's Los Angeles premiere on Tuesday, "so all these guys just really lightened my day. They made it bright."

Jessica the Mogul

Who would those guys be? Certainly not ex-husband, Nick Lachey.

The film costars Dane Cook and Dax Shepard. It was filmed in New Mexico. Jessica referred to the location as "relaxing and peaceful," while making sure the cast and crew ate things that were yummy and tasty.

"I made cupcakes here and there. I love to bake so I would bring stuff to set all the time," said the offspring of Crazy Joe Simpson.

Jessica was still nervous about what audiences would think, but the reception at the premiere was positive. She said she was "beaming" afterward. As for Cook? He has other reasons to smile.

Dane, who attended the premiere with girlfriend Racquel Houghton, was linked to Simpson during filming, but told reporters of the gossip, "We laugh about it."

He's also completed movies with the three hottest Jessicas out there. Besides Simpson, whom he says is a "breath of fresh air â€" I had no idea she was so funny," there was:

Look out, Jesse Metcalf, you might be next on the Dane docket!

by Mischalova at . Comments

Joe Simpson is more than just a husband, father and manager. He's also a crazy person. Oh, and most recently, a member of the paparazzi.

Reports are coming in that the former minister turned control freak has developed a very close relationship with the popular photo agency WireImage in exchange for unique access to his daughters Jessica and Ashlee Simpson.

Twitter Fiend

While celebrities granting exclusives to certain photo agencies is nothing new, Papa Joe has taken it a step further by actually getting behind the lens himself. He's like his very own Heather Mills!

Simpson has been accused of photographing his daughters on the red carpet, while simultaneously blocking the shots of others. From there, Joe is said to only approve photos he's taken, which are then distributed via WireImage.

There's no truth to the rumor that the father was actually behind the camera for the Jessica Simpson sex tape, nor is there truth to the existence of such a tape.

Other agencies aren't pleased that Joe is barring them from shots of the singers, one beautiful and one really thin. Of course, the chances of actually getting a decent shot of Ashlee are pretty slim, anyhow. Especially if she's turned sideways.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Does Jessica Simpson has a nicer rear end than Beyonce? That's a battle of the booties that only fans can decide.

Equally as pressing, however, is the following cleavage competition. Jessica may lay claim to the world's top pair (she's referred to them as great "accessories"), but Elizabeth Hurley looks mighty proud of her two pals, as well.

Twitter Fiend

The real winner in this barrage of boobs?

Guys.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Note to PR handlers everywhere: don't report that your client is in love unless there's a semblance of truth to the sentiment.

Rob Shuter appears to have learned this lesson the hard way. The long-time publicist for Jessica Simpson has been fired.

Big Jess

While no definitive reason has been given, it's safe to assume that the magazine/romance debacle that Shuter started between Jessica and that sex-crazed musician, John Mayer, didn't exactly help.

Both People and Us Weekly magazines ran cover stories suggesting the two were dating, with the former even quoting Jessica saying "I'm in love!" One problem: the two were NOT, in fact, an item. Mayer wasn't pleased.

As the first guest of Rosie O'Donnell on The View this week, Simpson did simply state that her and the singer were just friends. But the damage had already been done, as Mayer's blog seemed to relay the artist's anger at the situation:

"Really enjoying this song," he wrote, above a poster for Public Enemy's hit "Don't Believe the Hype."

One thing you can believe, however, is that Nicole Richie is really, really thin.

Jessica Simpson Biography

Best Jessica Simpson Photo Ever Sweet mother of G-d, Jessica Simpson has got some huge breasts. Holy frickin' $h!t. Look at those things! She also possesses a singing... More »
Born
Birthplace
Abilene, Texas
Full Name
Jessica Ann Simpson

Jessica Simpson Quotes

They're just the cutest couple in the world. They are adorable. Anybody would wish to be them and you can only wish them well. Just being around them inspires love and everything I sing about.

Jessica Simpson [on her sister and Pete Wentz]

It’s fun to do a small film that might be released to DVD not because it’s a horrible film, but because it’s an independent film. For people to say Employee of the Month was a flop is ludicrous. We made the money back–that’s not a flop. For people to say The Dukes of Hazzard was a flop–it opened to $30 million! If these movies are flops, why would I still make them?

Jessica Simpson
x Close Ad