by Mischalova at . Comments

I'm a cheesy pop star. I am. I sing pop music, pop music is cheesy.

This is probably the smartest thing Jessica Simpson has ever said. It's nice to see a celebrity recognize her place in the world, not taking herself or her role of singing cover songs too seriously.

C'mere!

Hear that, Lindsay Lohan?

Anyway, Ashlee's sister recently interviewed by Jane magazine. Here are tidbits from the discussion:

  • Dolly Parton is her idol.
  • She's into photography.
  • She listens to Judy Garland's "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" every day.
  • She sees a white butterfly every day, but she can't figure out what it means.
  • Mary-Kate Olsen is her favorite Olsen twin.

We may have made the last one up. But the white butterfly may represent ex-husband Nick Lachey and the freedom he now has to date every woman under the sun.

Even if that's somehow not the case, we hope Jess is feeling better these days. Based on recent Jessica Simpson pictures, the singer is a few hair brush strokes short of beautiful.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Jessica Simpson has seen better days.

Namely, any day other than this one.

Air Head

According to numerous gossip columnists, the "actress" and "singer" has been claiming that her failed romance with John Mayer was "crushing."

Poor thing. As usual, Jessica is the victim. Never mind the fact that she's the one who filed for, and initiated, the divorce with Nick Lachey. Now we are supposed to feel bad for her and how hard it is to move on.

Boo f*%king hoo. It looks to T.H. Gossip not like a sob story, but more like "drama queen falls apart without guy," and "sister of plastic-surgery addict Ashlee Simpson struggles to stay in spotlight while spiraling into obscurity."

Regardless, this picture of Jessica is rough as all hell. Take a look at this fine gallery of Jessica Simpson pictures to observe our girl's recent transformation from bombshell to train wreck.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Hey, JoeBlow69, that's probably not the real Jessica Simpson you're talking to online. We doubt she actually goes by the screen name, IReallyAmJessicaSimpson.

But that doesn't mean the ex of Nick Lachey isn't somewhere around the Internet right now.

Jessica Struts Her Stuff

A source told Britain's More magazine:

"After she split up with John Mayer, she set up a MySpace page to meet new people. She did it in a fake name, but got really into it. She's totally addicted. Whenever she's at home, she's on her laptop."

Simpson is said to be seduced by the freedom and anonymity Internet dating provides. Her sister, of course, was said to be seduced by Nick Carter.

The source added: "Jessica loves the idea she can use the Internet to look for a man who's interested in her personality. She pretends to be this shy Texan girl."

Pretending to be someone else is definitely the way to get a guy to like you for your personality. That's why Alison Clinton pretended not to be a desperate attention seeker in order to bag her husband.

by Mischalova at . Comments

 
Don't believe us? Ask the the buxom-laden blonde yourself.

In Jane magazine, Jessica Simpson says that on their third wedding anniversary, she went to go save the children while Nick just "stayed at home."

Jessica Simpson, Body

In that one fateful moment, everything changed for Ashlee's sister.

"Everything became so clear," said Jessica. "I was in hospitals with all these sick kids ... I just knew I needed to find something more in my life, on my own."

Like the long-awaited answer to the chicken/tuna debate.

Look, we like Jessica. She's pretty and sweet. But give Nick Lachey a break. He wasn't the one that spent hundreds on lingerie that could've gone to charity or sat around the house, whining about cooking a meal.

Okay, maybe we watched too much Newlyweds.

The point is: Lachey may not be Bono ... but he's not O.J. Simpson, either.

by Free Britney at . Comments

We really do. There's just no denying it. So you can bet your D-cups that you're gonna hear about it when we come across a pair of pictures showcasing some sweet, singing sisters' significant, supple assets. They're both motorboat-worthy, but who wins the cleavage title among Joe Simpson's talentless, yet uber-famous spawn? You be the judge.

Pregnant Jessica Simpson Picture

As you can see, Jessica Simpson's chest is ample. It has been for some time. When she burst on the music scene with her assortment of bad songs and revealing outfits back in the late 1990s, we were hooked immediately. Ah, it's like it was yesterday. Look at those headlights! Damn, that dick John Mayer is a lucky, lucky man.

But that's not to say that Ashlee Simpson, her little sister, hasn't come a long way in this field. She may not be able to sing even her own awful rock songs, or contribute anything to society, but you can bet your ass that she'll get the plastic surgery to set herself up with a killer body. See what you're missing, Braxton Olita? It's like she's teasing you!

by Mischalova at . Comments

TMZ.com has an exciting exclusive: it spoke to a doorman at one of the most exclusive clubs in Hollywood, getting him to spill the celebrity beans on who is allowed in to these hot spots and which stars will try anything to get through the doors.

Take a quick guess as to which category Brooke Hogan would fall into. Anyway, on to the scoop ...

Lindsay Lohan: What a Boob

"You need to be on the permanent guest list," the source stated.

Nightclubs in Hollywood have guest lists that feature people who will always be treated like royalty. This doorman said such a list consists of about 300 individuals, included among them are obvious choices such as Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Simpson, and Christina Aguliera.

The next tier works like this: you can call and make a reservation if you have endless amount of cash (Brandon Davis, Stavros Niarchos) but even with a reservation, nothing is guaranteed.

Moreover, those in the news for positive reasons , or "hot," are likely to find a spot inside. In other words, Bobby Brown, there's a table at Starbucks with your name on it.
The TMZ spy also said there are always exceptions to the rules.

"Mike Tyson was let in once because we felt that if we said no he might start boxing with the staff!"

Being female usually works in your favor, but even Tara Reid will be turned away if she shows up with five guys (and two new boobs). Take notes from Keenan Ivory Wayans because "he wasn't on the list but he was with a date and looked embarrassed, so I let him in."

Finally, in a shocker, shouting about who you are won't exactly get you insisde. Once, Joaquin Phoenix tried to enter through the back door and was told to go to the front. Mr. Phoenix replied with, "You're making a a big mistake! Don't you know who I am?? I'm kind of a big deal."

Therefore, it also appears that reciting Anchorman quotes won't work. Good luck to all!

Except for you, Anna Nicole Smith, don't even try it.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Forget Employee of the Month for a moment, Jessica Simpson is the leading vote-getting for Dater of the Month at the moment.

Following her split from Nick Lachey, the part-time actress has had to field a number of questions not about her movie roles, but her bedroom mates.

Jessica Simpson Sunglasses

Crazy Joe Simpson's dauhger been romantically connected to a handful of men, from John Mayer to Maroon 5's Adam Levine, - but Jess doesn't seem to mind.

"I'm just used to it by now, it's just kind of a part of my life," she told a reporter while promoting her new film. "Every guy that gets within five feet of me is automatically linked to me."

Note to The Gossip staff: Get within five feet of Jessica.

Dane Cook, who knows a thing or two about being linked to the blonde vixen, jokingly added:

"Yeah, she's been my wife for two years now."

Just this week, Page Six spies spotted the co-stars "whispering into each other's ears" and added that Dane "kept coming back to her every time he was pulled away."

Wow. Stop the presses!

Seems like the only male Simpson has not been linked with is Dustin Diamond in any sex tape. But there's still time.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Could Jessica Simpson and John Mayer be hooking up again? Could John Mayer possibly suck any more?

Perhaps, and no.

Sexual Napalm

According to TMZ, that site's venerable undercover agents were at the posh Four Seasons Hotel in Beverly Hills Monday night, when Mayer took a seat and began hitting on one of them.

Mayer apparently invited her up to his room to "talk." She declined.

The amazing Jessica Simpson arrived at the bar a short time later and saw friend and producer Romeo Antonio, who has written several Simpson songs (and who has two first names!), sitting at a table.

Jessica approached Antonio and chatted for a bit. Antonio then left the table to use the bathroom, and while he was taking care of business, guess who walked in. Crazy Joe Simpson. Just kidding! It was Mayer... a very serious Mayer, who proceed to ask if there was anything going on between Antonio and Simpson. Antonio said there was not.

Mayer then went back to the bar, chatted up Simpson for approximately 10 minutes, and left the bar with her. They took the elevator upstairs and were not seen or heard from again.

Scandalous! Looks like our girl might still be doing the nasty with this sketchball. Somewhere, Bam Margera is kicking himself. Hard. They do that sort of thing on Jackass.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Sorry, but The Gossip tells it like it is. We'll be the first to say when a Jessica Alba picture is scorching hot.

We'll also line up to tell a different Jessica that she has some serious work to do.

Jessica Simpson Pregnant Belly Pic

Perhaps Jessica Simpson has a valid excuse for looking homely these days. After all, Bam Margera just went public with the twosome's bedroom shannigans. And sister, Ashlee Simpson, is actually receiving positive reviews for her work in Chicago.

But is bitterness or jealousy a reason to look like this?

Get a grip, girl! We don't wanna compare you to any Britney Spears pictures again.

We understand life - and that hairstyle - can be difficult. But if you're not gonna get yourself together for you, do it for Nick Lachey. How can he continue to garner sympathy with cheesy songs about being dumped when his ex looks so loathsome?

by Free Britney at . Comments

The Hollywood Gossip is proud to bring you Tale of the Tape, in which we break down prospective matchups within the celebrity world that you might never have considered. Because they are pointless, and above all, not real.

Our current match-up features a pair of sisters... that's four celebs in all. You know these siblings well, and may harbor strong feelings towards them. Some of you may have even slept with one of them. Who are we to say? All we know is that when the gloves come off between the Olsen Twins and the spawn of Crazy Joe Simpson, you are gonna see some insane $h!t.

Jessica On Her Back

But enough with the hype. Here's Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen vs. Jessica and Ashlee Simpson for all the marbles. Ding, Ding!

1. PARENTAL INFLUENCE

Mary-Kate / Ashley: The fraternal twins have been forced to appear in TV and films since infancy, and are probably f*%ked in the brain for life
Jessica / Ashlee: At least they had a somewhat normal childhood before fame turned their Dad into an insane person
Edge: Simpsons

2. CHEST SIZE

Mary-Kate / Ashley: Nothing to write home (or blogs) about
Jessica / Ashlee: Have you seen this Jessica Simpson picture? Ashlee isn't hurting in this department, either...
Edge: Simpsons

3. STYLE

Mary-Kate / Ashley: While both have become style icons, Mary-Kate dresses more chic, while Ashley is more conventionally stylish. Both are known for wearing flip-flops, as well as accessories such as large sunglasses
Jessica / Ashlee: Whatever she wears looks hot (Jessica); Changes look too often to be recognized (Ashlee)
Edge: Simpsons

4. CAREER ACCOMPLISHMENTS

Mary-Kate / Ashley: Starred on Full House (1987-1995), along with more than a dozen movies; Youngest people ever to receive stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame
Jessica / Ashlee: Six studio albums and more than 16,000,000 units sold between them; Various acting roles
Edge: Olsens

5. EATING DISORDERS

Mary-Kate / Ashley: May not have ingested food since 2002
Jessica / Ashlee: Ashlee has slimmed down, but not to that degree
Edge: Olsens

6. EX-BOYFRIENDS, HUSBANDS, RANDOM HOOKUPS

Mary-Kate / Ashley: Stavros Niarchos
Jessica / Ashlee: Nick Lachey, Braxton Olita, John Mayer, Bam Margera
Edge: Simpsons

7. FINANCIAL SITUATION

Mary-Kate / Ashley: Reported to be worth $150 million each; Named the "Most Powerful Young Women in Hollywood" by the Hollywood Reporter
Jessica / Ashlee: Very wealthy, but only making real money in the past five years or so... plus, Nick Lachey could take a lot of Jessica's dough!
Edge: Olsens

8. CONTROVERSIES & SCANDALS

Mary-Kate / Ashley: Eating disorders, drug abuse, acting like bitches to Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan
Jessica / Ashlee: Little talent, adultery, plastic surgery accusations, bogus sex tapes, lip-synching on TV
Edge: Even

9. MEMORABLE QUOTES

Mary-Kate / Ashley: "I want to go to culinary school because I love cooking. One day I'd love to open up a restaurant or cafe." -- Mary-Kate Olsen
Jessica / Ashlee: "Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it says 'Chicken of the Sea.'" -- Jessica Simpson
Edge: Simpsons

10. OVERALL HOTNESS

Mary-Kate / Ashley: Stay away!
Jessica / Ashlee: Any day!
Edge: Simpsons

THE VERDICT: Sorry, Mary-Kate and Ashlee. Jessica and Ashlee have ruled this duel and straight up bitch-slapped you with a commanding 6.5-3.5 victory. Go do some drugs and throw up today's lunch to make yourselves feel better.

Jessica Simpson Biography

Best Jessica Simpson Photo Ever Sweet mother of G-d, Jessica Simpson has got some huge breasts. Holy frickin' $h!t. Look at those things! She also possesses a singing... More »
Born
Birthplace
Abilene, Texas
Full Name
Jessica Ann Simpson

Jessica Simpson Quotes

They're just the cutest couple in the world. They are adorable. Anybody would wish to be them and you can only wish them well. Just being around them inspires love and everything I sing about.

Jessica Simpson [on her sister and Pete Wentz]

It’s fun to do a small film that might be released to DVD not because it’s a horrible film, but because it’s an independent film. For people to say Employee of the Month was a flop is ludicrous. We made the money back–that’s not a flop. For people to say The Dukes of Hazzard was a flop–it opened to $30 million! If these movies are flops, why would I still make them?

Jessica Simpson
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