by Mischalova at . Comments

Hey, remember when Jessica Simpson was an innocent virgin bride?

Yeah. Neither do we.

Black and White Jessica

Following 18 months of rumors that she cheated on then-husband, Nick Lachey, at least one truth has supposedly come out: Jackass star, Bam Margera, did indeed have sex with Joe Simpson's daughter.

On Howard Stern's September 19 Sirius radio show, the prankster came clean about the oh so dirty evening. He even named the date: April 11, 2005. According to Bam, Jessica took him back to her parents' home in Los Angeles' Encino area.

"We were just drinking margaritas and stuff, and you know, from there …"

When Stern asked how a nude Jessica Simpson looked, Margera profoundly responded, "good." 

When asked by a reported from Us Weekly how many times he, well, bammed Simpson, Margera said just once.

"It was when her parents were away and Nick was away. It's not a secret."

But it is juicy! Especially when Crazy Joe Simpson shot back that he wanted to "beat the crap out of people who say things like this." Hmmm ... doesn't sound like a denial to the staff of The Gossip. Aside from spilling the banging beans, doesn't even sound like Bam was that raunchy about the night of passion.

The same can't be said for Simpson, however. During a recent interview in Allure magazine, the former virgin wore a rooster pendant and joked: "I don't have a c--k at the moment, so I wear one around my neck."

Okay then. Here's some advice then: Pass around this Jessica Simpson picture and we're pretty sure a yacht load of c--ks will line up at your door shortly.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

The humble abode that Jessica Simpson and younger sister Ashlee Simpson used to call home is officially on the market.

Located in the heart of Dallas, Texas, the home is currently going for a reasonable $200,000. With home loan rates on the decline, and Texas real estate representing some of the best investment opportunities in the U.S., you'd be a fool to pass on this gem!

Announcing the Nominees

Except for the fact that it's in Dallas, which sucks royally. Everyone who's from there knows it, too.

The Simpsons lived there until 1998, when friends of the family bought it. According to sources familiar with the house in the city's Richardson Heights neighborhood, the sellers are not looking to hawk it to Simpson fanatics. Sorry, dudes. You'll have to continue getting your sick fix by digging through their garbage.

"When the listing first went up, the Jessica Simpson lineage was used to sell the home, but it was attracting the wrong sort of buyers," an agent said. "Media attention and 'looky loo' traffic was causing quite a stir for the sellers."

The house has five bedrooms, one of which surely used to hold a number of framed Jessica Simpson pictures. It is being shopped as a home with an "enjoyable backyard with huge diving pool, landscaping and decking." The listing even boasts of "having recent upgrading [sic]."

The buyer will have the option of sending their kids to Pearce High School, the same place where Jessica roamed the halls during her teenage years (no doubt wearing some really tight shirts, resulting in many an adolescent fantasy).

That's also the place where Ashlee once shattered glass with her awful singing voice, which drove her classmates crazy, and drove her crazy Dad to axe in favor of professional lip-synching once he purchased her a music career.

Skank.

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by Mischalova at . Comments

Jessica Simpson just can't get enough of breasts. Chicken breasts, that is.

The Employee of the Month star plans to open her own chain of barbeque restaurants called "Daisy Duke's" in the near future.

Romo and Simpson Pic

Reports state the star will provide backing for the restaurants - which will feature scantily-clad waitresses in tiny hot pants, naturally - named after her most famous screen character from the film remake of the hit TV show, Dukes of Hazzard.

The first store is rumored to open in Las Vegas next year, with Jessica scheduled to make at least five appearances there. Hey, maybe Nick Lachey can stop by on his tour. The man loves himself some corn bread!

Who came up with this grand plan? Crazy Joe Simpson, of course.

A source told America's Life and Style Weekly magazine: "Joe's going to make a lot of money from this."

Phew. We were worried about his finances for a second there. Now, though, he may be next on the marrying list for Heather Mills. Take cover, Joe.

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by Mischalova at . Comments

Bobs. Yes, folks, we're facing a handful of bobs these days - and, no, we're not just going through Office Space quotes here.

A trio of the world's most beautiful, talent and excruciatingly thin stars have taken on a new hairstyle. You may have look closely to see the rest of Kate Bosworth, but it's difficult to miss her hair in the following photo:

Simps

What do you guys think? Prefer the old, longer-haired Madonna? How does the photo above compare with other Jessica Simpson pictures? Leave a comment and let us know!

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by Mischalova at . Comments

Let's start with Jessica Simpson and how the filming of her new movie, Employee of the Month, helped her navigate through a difficult life adjustment.

"I was going through a pretty rough time while making Employee of the Month," she said at the film's Los Angeles premiere on Tuesday, "so all these guys just really lightened my day. They made it bright."

Jessica the Mogul

Who would those guys be? Certainly not ex-husband, Nick Lachey.

The film costars Dane Cook and Dax Shepard. It was filmed in New Mexico. Jessica referred to the location as "relaxing and peaceful," while making sure the cast and crew ate things that were yummy and tasty.

"I made cupcakes here and there. I love to bake so I would bring stuff to set all the time," said the offspring of Crazy Joe Simpson.

Jessica was still nervous about what audiences would think, but the reception at the premiere was positive. She said she was "beaming" afterward. As for Cook? He has other reasons to smile.

Dane, who attended the premiere with girlfriend Racquel Houghton, was linked to Simpson during filming, but told reporters of the gossip, "We laugh about it."

He's also completed movies with the three hottest Jessicas out there. Besides Simpson, whom he says is a "breath of fresh air â€" I had no idea she was so funny," there was:

Look out, Jesse Metcalf, you might be next on the Dane docket!

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by Mischalova at . Comments

Joe Simpson is more than just a husband, father and manager. He's also a crazy person. Oh, and most recently, a member of the paparazzi.

Reports are coming in that the former minister turned control freak has developed a very close relationship with the popular photo agency WireImage in exchange for unique access to his daughters Jessica and Ashlee Simpson.

Twitter Fiend

While celebrities granting exclusives to certain photo agencies is nothing new, Papa Joe has taken it a step further by actually getting behind the lens himself. He's like his very own Heather Mills!

Simpson has been accused of photographing his daughters on the red carpet, while simultaneously blocking the shots of others. From there, Joe is said to only approve photos he's taken, which are then distributed via WireImage.

There's no truth to the rumor that the father was actually behind the camera for the Jessica Simpson sex tape, nor is there truth to the existence of such a tape.

Other agencies aren't pleased that Joe is barring them from shots of the singers, one beautiful and one really thin. Of course, the chances of actually getting a decent shot of Ashlee are pretty slim, anyhow. Especially if she's turned sideways.

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by Mischalova at . Comments

Does Jessica Simpson has a nicer rear end than Beyonce? That's a battle of the booties that only fans can decide.

Equally as pressing, however, is the following cleavage competition. Jessica may lay claim to the world's top pair (she's referred to them as great "accessories"), but Elizabeth Hurley looks mighty proud of her two pals, as well.

Twitter Fiend

The real winner in this barrage of boobs?

Guys.

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by Mischalova at . Comments

Note to PR handlers everywhere: don't report that your client is in love unless there's a semblance of truth to the sentiment.

Rob Shuter appears to have learned this lesson the hard way. The long-time publicist for Jessica Simpson has been fired.

Big Jess

While no definitive reason has been given, it's safe to assume that the magazine/romance debacle that Shuter started between Jessica and that sex-crazed musician, John Mayer, didn't exactly help.

Both People and Us Weekly magazines ran cover stories suggesting the two were dating, with the former even quoting Jessica saying "I'm in love!" One problem: the two were NOT, in fact, an item. Mayer wasn't pleased.

As the first guest of Rosie O'Donnell on The View this week, Simpson did simply state that her and the singer were just friends. But the damage had already been done, as Mayer's blog seemed to relay the artist's anger at the situation:

"Really enjoying this song," he wrote, above a poster for Public Enemy's hit "Don't Believe the Hype."

One thing you can believe, however, is that Nicole Richie is really, really thin.

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by Mischalova at . Comments

When you own an ABA team, money comes pouring in. That gold mine, combined with the seemingly kind heart of Nick Lachey, led the singer to agree on a reduced sum in his just completely divorce settlement.

  • Nick Lachey, Short Hair
  • Nice Rack

While Lachey and Jessica Simpson were officially divorced months ago, the duo never signed a pre-nuptial agreement. Therefore, Nick was entitled to half of Jessica's assets (not THOSE assets), estimated at $36 million.

However, Lachey agreed to take considerably less than 50%, according to published reports.

In the property settlement, Nick will take significantly more than the $1.5 million Joe Simpson has initially tried to offer, but less than half of what he and Jessica earned during the marriage. Two sources in Nick's camp made it clear to TMZ that Lachey agreed to end the dispute because he didn't wish to hurt anyone in a contentious court battle.

That's sweet. Plus, Ashlee Simpson could really use some extra cash from her sister about now. In lieu of Braxton Olita, Ash may seek comfort in much, much more plastic surgey.

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by Mischalova at . Comments

Jessica Simpson has a new man (hello, John Mayer.)

Jessica Simpson has new hair (solid choice, stylish bob).

Not Fat

And as reports come in from The Daily News, Jessica Simpson has A LOT of new stuff.

After last week's MTV Video Music Awards, the singer/actress was left with numerous free items:

  • Tens of thousands of dollars' worth of jewelry
  • Clothes
  • High-tech electronic gadgets
  • A$50,000 Chrysler convertible

It was an impressive haul. Simpson's PR guru, Rob Shuter, vowed she'll donate her VMA gift bag to Operation Smile, the charity Jessica has taken a large role in."People like her don't really need these things because they already have everything," Shuter said, explaining that she's giving to the charity that provides cosmetic surgery to children with facial deformities.

Thanks, Captain Obvious. What will you tell us next, Tom Cruise is a few hammers short of a full toolbox?

Meanwhile, there are tax implications for such an abundance of free stuff.

"Just out of curiosity, how would the government find out about these gifts that everybody is getting?" Simpson was overheard asking at the VMAs.

Manhattan attorney Salvatore Strazzullo: "Each company has to file gift tax returns pertaining to everybody that received gifts, and then the IRS will compare those to the individual tax returns of the recipients."

At this, sources say, Simpson looked rather confused. Sort of like Ben Affleck being told bad movies are simply to blame for his drop in popularity.

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