The Hollywood Gossip is proud to bring you Tale of the Tape, in which we break down prospective matchups within the celebrity world that you might never have considered. Because they are pointless, and above all, not real.

Our current match-up features a pair of sisters... that's four celebs in all. You know these siblings well, and may harbor strong feelings towards them. Some of you may have even slept with one of them. Who are we to say? All we know is that when the gloves come off between the Olsen Twins and the spawn of Crazy Joe Simpson, you are gonna see some insane $h!t.

Posted in: The Olsen Twins

The humble abode that Jessica Simpson and younger sister Ashlee Simpson used to call home is officially on the market.

Located in the heart of Dallas, Texas, the home is currently going for a reasonable $200,000. With home loan rates on the decline, and Texas real estate representing some of the best investment opportunities in the U.S., you'd be a fool to pass on this gem!

Posted in: Ashlee Simpson

Joe Simpson is more than just a husband, father and manager. He's also a crazy person. Oh, and most recently, a member of the paparazzi.

Reports are coming in that the former minister turned control freak has developed a very close relationship with the popular photo agency WireImage in exchange for unique access to his daughters Jessica and Ashlee Simpson.

Posted in: Ashlee Simpson

Jessica Simpson Biography

Not a Major Movie Star By Any Means
Sweet mother of G-d, Jessica Simpson has got some huge breasts. Holy frickin' $h!t. Look at those things! She also possesses a singing... More »
Abilene, Texas
Full Name
Jessica Ann Simpson

Jessica Simpson Quotes

They're just the cutest couple in the world. They are adorable. Anybody would wish to be them and you can only wish them well. Just being around them inspires love and everything I sing about.

Jessica Simpson [on her sister and Pete Wentz]

It’s fun to do a small film that might be released to DVD not because it’s a horrible film, but because it’s an independent film. For people to say Employee of the Month was a flop is ludicrous. We made the money back–that’s not a flop. For people to say The Dukes of Hazzard was a flop–it opened to $30 million! If these movies are flops, why would I still make them?

Jessica Simpson