by Mischalova at . Comments

Joe Simpson loves talking about Jessica Simpson nude.

In the past, the pop singer's father would brag about his daughter's giant boobs. This time? A recent role she was supposedly offered for a movie.

Jessica Simpson, Middle Finger

"The last script that came to us was for Jessica to be a porn star," Crazy Joe Simpson, told People at Thursday's ABC Television Critics Association party in Beverly Hills.

"We were promised we would win an Oscar with that," the parent claimed. "I was like, ‘Eh, we'll just buy a [statue of a] little man and keep our clothes on.' "

Sure, Joe. Jessica is just that much classier than Vanessa Minnillo nude, huh? Too bad for you she's the one now making Nick Lachey happy.

Since she shot to fame in 2003 with Lachey on MTV's Newlyweds Simpson has been receiving quirky TV-show proposals "every day," according to her deranged father.

"We're pitched those a lot," he said. "There are a lot of cool ones, and a lot of really strange ones."

Considering the fact that Matt Leinart is receiving better movie roles than Jessica, perhaps the Simpsons should accept one of these supposed offers.

Currently, Papa Simpson is promoting ABC's fall series The Women's Murder Club, which he is producing with Rush Hour director Brett Ratner. No plans are underway for Jessica or her younger sister Ashlee Simpson to appear on the show.

"They're very busy, and they're happy," Joe Simpson says of his daughters. "Jessica has three more movies to shoot; she has a new record coming in September. If the right role came up, of course, we'd never turn that down."

But, apparently, it can't involve any Jessica Simpson nude scenes. We don't know why she can't just be more like Lucy Pinder.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Wait a minute, Melissa Keller!

Before you start considering yourself the Sports Illustrated swimsuit model that's gonna dominate the celebrity gossip world for years to come, let's not forget about Marisa Miller.

Ken Paves Fondles Jessica

This beauty can work a photo shoot, especially when she goes for her ultra-blonde, classic Jessica Simpson look.

You remember her, right? The Jessica Simpson that didn't change her hair every week, didn't look plastic and could actually give Vanessa Minnillo a run for her gorgeous money.

She was really hot. And here's a photo of her, as well. Side by side next to Miller, it's difficult to tell which is which. But no matter: guys everywhere win when these two get together. It's like the opposite of a Shay Johnson calendar.

In other news about these pretty women: Remember when Marisa Miller nude pics came out? Those were great.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Thanks, as always, to People for this collection of celebrity quotes...

"Maybe after having kids, if my boobs dropped down to my belly button, I would get them lifted. ... Maintenance. But you know, my boobs are real."
- Jessica Simpson, on not ruling out plastic surgery (which runs in the family)

Large and In Charge

"I am genuinely happy for the two of them. In fact, I sent them flowers to congratulate them both. I've spent time with her, and my girls really like her. That's all that matters to me."
- Denise Richards, on ex-husband Charlie Sheen's new fiancée Brooke Mueller

"I am now officially ordained. Yep, that's right. Reverend Tori Spelling!"
- Tori Spelling, on adding minister to her résumé, on her MySpace blog

"I think they have this impression that I'm this miserable cow who doesn't smile. But I'm actually quite the opposite. ... I'm going to try and smile more for America."
- Victoria Beckham

"It's a boat... It's kinda big."
- A Kim Porter-less Diddy, describing his yacht to David Letterman

"I'm working on the sexiest projects around the world. So to me to be on a TV show every single day at a designated period of time just wouldn't work for my schedule."
- Ivanka Trump on not wanting to co-host The View

"All of the going out he did after we broke up sort of shocked me. When we were together, he hated stuff like that, so I felt like I didn't really know him as well as I thought I did."
- Hilary Duff, on ex-boyfriend Joel Madden's post-breakup behavior

It's not about celebrity or not. It's all about, do you have that 'girl in a cardigan' in you. You gotta have that."
- Office star John Krasinski, on looking for a real-life Pam Beesly

by Free Britney at . Comments

To some celebs, such as Kim Kardashian, Olivia Mojica and Paris Hilton, doggy style is just something you do to kill time... and make some money off sex tape sales.

To others (fortunately), it's more about fun, companionship and cuteness. Not to mention a fashionable accessory. Truly, little dogs are all the rage in Hollywood these days.

Let's take a look at a few stars and their furry friends. Below, Kristin Cavallari gives her pooch a lift during a morning outing in L.A. this week. While Lauren Conrad always melts our hearts, we'll say the same about K-Cav if we see a few more pictures like this one!

Also below (right), Jessica Simpson and her BFF and companion, Daisy, are seen at LAX airport in this selection exhumed from our archives of celebrity pictures.

Now here's the wonderful Jennifer Love Hewitt in The Hollywood Dog magazine with her puppy, and the pregnant Nicole Richie posing with her little Shih Tzu, Honeychild.

Lastly, we have Jake Gyllenhaal, apparently a big To Kill a Mockingbird fan, who has two dogs: Atticus Finch and Boo Radley. He's seen here with one of them.

Which celebrity dog pairing is your favorite?

by Mischalova at . Comments

Jessica Simpson has no problem talking about her enormous breasts.

And while these snack trays are as real as the insanity of her father, Joe Simpson, Jessica says she would consider following in the fake footsteps of her sister, Ashlee Simpson.

Checkout Girl

"I've had [no plastic surgery]," the singer says in the August issue of Bazaar. "But maybe after having kids, if my boobs dropped down to my belly button, I would get them lifted. ... Maintenance. But you know, my boobs are real."

Right now, however, the former flame of John Mayer is fine with her looks.

"I love the bump in my nose," Simpson tells Bazaar and People magazine reports. "People have said that I've had things like a jaw replacement or implant or something. I'm photographed every day of my life and have never worn any bandages or anything, so how could that be right?"

Every day of her life might be pushing it a bit. This isn't Heidi Montag or Britney Spears, after all.

As Jessica prepares for a role as a marine in the obviously awful upcoming movie, Major Movie Star, she says that one thing that's changed is her backside.

"I've started with a trainer, Harley Pasternak," she says. "He's given me a butt [like Kim Kardashian], because I have white-girl syndrome. I have to do as many squats as I can to get a little booty. ... I have to be [diligent]. I'm a curvy girl. You don't want to see me not working out."

We do have to praise Simpson, though, for her stance on her curves. This is one celebrity that won't be starving herself like Nicole Richie or either of The Olsen Twins.

"Curves are better," she says. "I don't get the whole rail thing. It's not good for your heart, it's not good for your mind; it's emotionally destructive, it really is."

Look at that, Jessica Simpson sounding intelligent! We guess anything is possible.

by Mischalova at . Comments

What, Jessica Simpson worry?

So what if John Mayer dumped her?

Pay Attention to Me! ME!!!

Who cares if recent album sales have tanked?

Why think twice if ex-husband Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo are closer than ever?

When you can wear a t-shirt that's made for a six-year old and stick those giant boobs in everyone's face, life is good. Fame will continue.

After all, as Lucy Pinder can attest to, all you need is an impressive set of knockers to stay in the spotlight.

Either those, or random letters of advice to celebrities you don't know.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Celebrities. They're just like us. They hang out with their friends! Only in their case, those buddies are also celebrities. In our case, they're just celebrity gossip writers. Oh well.

Here's a look at some notable celebrity BFFs ...

Men (like Paul Sculfor) may come and go, but everyone knows that best friends are forever. Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox-Arquette have long been tight on and off the screen. Leonardo DiCaprio and Tobey Maguire, meanwhile, are two low-key celebs, but have been spotted chilling together quite often recently.

Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton

Ever since they co-wrote and co-starred in Good Will Hunting, Boston natives Ben Affleck and Matt Damon have been inseparable. The same can't be said for socialites Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, but they were totally, like, best friends at one point - bonded by mutal love for hooking up with dozens of guys, being rich and partying a lot.

Jessica Simpson, CaCee Cobb

Growing up in Texas, Jessica Simpson and CaCee Cobb were good friends. As Jess made it big, she brought along CaCee as her personal assistant! The Hills' Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag were roommates and two of reality TV's closest gal pals... until the slimy Spencer Pratt burst on the scene and stole Heidi's soul. But it's not all sad, folks - at least Hayden Panettiere and Rumer Willis are hitting it off of late!

by Mischalova at . Comments

Britney Spears and Ryan Phillippe? Hooking up in the bathroom of a club?

Just when you thought the world of celebrity gossip couldn't get any nuttier, here's another rumor about a new couple; or, at least, one lonely woman's hope for a new couple.

Jessica in Plaid

At an exclusive party on a private yacht in Cannes, Jessica Simpson reportedly "spent the whole night following Leonardo DiCaprio around like a lost puppy," a source tells Page Six. "He just seemed freaked out and kind of ignored her."

Really? Freaked out by a red-headed brunette who often sports blonde hair and occasionally walks around with her giant boobs hitting people in the face? What's wrong with you, Leo?

While we certainly can feel for DiCaprio for having to deal with this nonsense, it's hard to muster too much sympathy for someone who has seen Bar Refaeli nude many times.

As for Jessica, this must have been one of those nights when she was broken up with John Mayer. But they're probably back together today. Here's a question, though, readers:

Did you ever think Ashlee Simpson would end up as the saner sister? Neither did we.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Jessica Simpson flip flops more often than Mitt Romney.

She's with John Mayer... she's not with John Mayer.

She looks like a train wreck... she looks halfway decent.

This former reality TV star, ex-wife of Nick Lachey and daughter to Crazy Joe Simpson has to make up her mind at some point. Maybe fans can give her a push.

Take a look at a trio of looks the pop singer and owner of two giant boobs has tried out over the past few months. There's curly-haired classy Jessica; prim and proper Jessica; and queen of the dead, blatantly-expose-my-enormous-cleavage Jessica.

Which do you prefer?

Or is it too late for Simpson to regain her status as a sex symbol? Should she just follow the lead of a nude Dita Von Teese and constantly take her clothes off... while sitting in an enormous martini glass? Let us know.

by Mischalova at . Comments

She's also single now after her break-up with John Mayer. But we'll get to that later.

For now, all Jessica Simpson wants to talk about is her upcoming movie, Major Movie Star. She ven flew all the way to the Cannes Film Festival to talk about the film that doesn't even begin production until July 9.

I am HUUUUUUUUUUGE!!!!

"It's basically this girl who's a major movie star, who wants to be more respected because she always gets the blonde bimbo parts," Simpson said. "She doesn't get the roles she wants and ends up walking in on her costar, who is her boyfriend, and her hairdresser! And she figures she doesn't want this life anymore. So she joins the Marines."

This storyline makes as much sense to us as the idea of giving Kim Kardashian a reality show.

But it does sound a lot likethe 1980 classic Private Benjamin, which earned Goldie Hawn an Oscar nomination for Best Actress. And Jessica says she's always admired the mother of Kate Hudson.

"The script did remind me of Goldie and a Private Benjamin type of role," said Jessica Simpson. "I adore her and look up to her. I aspire to be her."

The singer may need to lose those giant boobs if she really wishes to resemble the more petite Goldie Hawn.

Meanwhile, Simpson remained silent about her recent breakup with Mayer.

She only wanted to speak about the film, for which, she said, she would be getting in serious shape, a la Demi Moore in G.I. Jane.

"I'm back on an extreme diet and workout," she said. "I have to be able to do take after take of push-ups and climbing walls and going through trenches and what-not... I'm working on my one armed push-up - in my high heels!"

Maybe someone should mention to Simpson that sneakers are far better to exercise in. Jessica Biel or Fergie, give this wanna-be actress some tips please.

Jessica Simpson Biography

Best Jessica Simpson Photo Ever Sweet mother of G-d, Jessica Simpson has got some huge breasts. Holy frickin' $h!t. Look at those things! She also possesses a singing... More »
Born
Birthplace
Abilene, Texas
Full Name
Jessica Ann Simpson

Jessica Simpson Quotes

They're just the cutest couple in the world. They are adorable. Anybody would wish to be them and you can only wish them well. Just being around them inspires love and everything I sing about.

Jessica Simpson [on her sister and Pete Wentz]

It’s fun to do a small film that might be released to DVD not because it’s a horrible film, but because it’s an independent film. For people to say Employee of the Month was a flop is ludicrous. We made the money back–that’s not a flop. For people to say The Dukes of Hazzard was a flop–it opened to $30 million! If these movies are flops, why would I still make them?

Jessica Simpson
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