by Mischalova at . Comments

Britney Spears and Ryan Phillippe? Hooking up in the bathroom of a club?

Just when you thought the world of celebrity gossip couldn't get any nuttier, here's another rumor about a new couple; or, at least, one lonely woman's hope for a new couple.

Jessica in Plaid

At an exclusive party on a private yacht in Cannes, Jessica Simpson reportedly "spent the whole night following Leonardo DiCaprio around like a lost puppy," a source tells Page Six. "He just seemed freaked out and kind of ignored her."

Really? Freaked out by a red-headed brunette who often sports blonde hair and occasionally walks around with her giant boobs hitting people in the face? What's wrong with you, Leo?

While we certainly can feel for DiCaprio for having to deal with this nonsense, it's hard to muster too much sympathy for someone who has seen Bar Refaeli nude many times.

As for Jessica, this must have been one of those nights when she was broken up with John Mayer. But they're probably back together today. Here's a question, though, readers:

Did you ever think Ashlee Simpson would end up as the saner sister? Neither did we.

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Jessica Simpson flip flops more often than Mitt Romney.

She's with John Mayer... she's not with John Mayer.

She looks like a train wreck... she looks halfway decent.

This former reality TV star, ex-wife of Nick Lachey and daughter to Crazy Joe Simpson has to make up her mind at some point. Maybe fans can give her a push.

Take a look at a trio of looks the pop singer and owner of two giant boobs has tried out over the past few months. There's curly-haired classy Jessica; prim and proper Jessica; and queen of the dead, blatantly-expose-my-enormous-cleavage Jessica.

Which do you prefer?

Or is it too late for Simpson to regain her status as a sex symbol? Should she just follow the lead of a nude Dita Von Teese and constantly take her clothes off... while sitting in an enormous martini glass? Let us know.

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She's also single now after her break-up with John Mayer. But we'll get to that later.

For now, all Jessica Simpson wants to talk about is her upcoming movie, Major Movie Star. She ven flew all the way to the Cannes Film Festival to talk about the film that doesn't even begin production until July 9.

I am HUUUUUUUUUUGE!!!!

"It's basically this girl who's a major movie star, who wants to be more respected because she always gets the blonde bimbo parts," Simpson said. "She doesn't get the roles she wants and ends up walking in on her costar, who is her boyfriend, and her hairdresser! And she figures she doesn't want this life anymore. So she joins the Marines."

This storyline makes as much sense to us as the idea of giving Kim Kardashian a reality show.

But it does sound a lot likethe 1980 classic Private Benjamin, which earned Goldie Hawn an Oscar nomination for Best Actress. And Jessica says she's always admired the mother of Kate Hudson.

"The script did remind me of Goldie and a Private Benjamin type of role," said Jessica Simpson. "I adore her and look up to her. I aspire to be her."

The singer may need to lose those giant boobs if she really wishes to resemble the more petite Goldie Hawn.

Meanwhile, Simpson remained silent about her recent breakup with Mayer.

She only wanted to speak about the film, for which, she said, she would be getting in serious shape, a la Demi Moore in G.I. Jane.

"I'm back on an extreme diet and workout," she said. "I have to be able to do take after take of push-ups and climbing walls and going through trenches and what-not... I'm working on my one armed push-up - in my high heels!"

Maybe someone should mention to Simpson that sneakers are far better to exercise in. Jessica Biel or Fergie, give this wanna-be actress some tips please.

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Please ... pick your shocked, awed jaws off the floor.

It appears that the epic romance of Jessica Simpson and John Mayer - a match made in heaven from the start - has officially run its course.

Jessica Simpson: Country Crooner

As first reported by Perez Hilton, Jess and John have split. TMZ cameras caught a solo Mayer at the NYC hotspot Stereo, last night, looking happy on his own.

Get in line ladies, your body could be a wonderland next, if you play your cards right (even if you're not as hot as Jennifer Love Hewitt).

As for the reason for the dissolution, a rep for John Mayer refused to comment on the Grammy winner's personal life and a rep for Jess couldn't be reached.

Could it be because Myer is an award-winning singer and songwriter who meets with presidential candidates and made Time Magazine's 100 Most Influential list, while she's just an airhead with enormous boobs and some hair extensions?

Just a theory.

Still, this is such a shame. Our staff is visibly shaken. We're sure Joe Simpson is really busted up about it. Get it? Bust? Jessica's chest is frickin' huge, people!

Anyway, hang in there, Jess. We know breakups are hard, but one of these days, a dashing Simon Monjack will come along and sweep you off your feet.

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He won the approval of Ashlee Simpson.

God knows why.

Jessica Simpson Very Pregnant

Now John Mayer has been signed off on by someone even more central to his girlfriend's life. Her controlling, money-grubbing dad, Crazy Joe Simpson.

Joe may not have approved at first of daughter Jessica Simpson's marriage to Nick Lachey, but he's given her new man, John Mayer, the thumbs up.

"If Jessica is in love, I love the things she is in love with," said Joe Simpson, 49, at the Entertainment Weekly upfront party at The Box in New York City on Tuesday.

"I want her to be happy. I'm always a fan of his. I love him; he's got lame great music."

Simpson wasn't such a fan of Nick Lachey when Jessica married the former boy band dweeb in 2002.

"Everybody thought, including my father, that my marriage to Nick would kill my career," Jessica told 20/20 in 2004.

But Joe Simpson says Mayer is a different story.

"I think the beautiful thing is that [John Mayer and Jessica] don't do the same thing," he told People. "He's a legend already. There is no competition. He's a guitarist; that's his thing. Jessica is a singer. She doesn't play guitar, so there's no competition."

Last month, Jessica and her enormous boobs joined Mayer in Australia, where he was on tour, but she's currently in Europe for the Cannes Film Festival.

For his part, John Mayer was recently in New York City, where he played political strategist to presidential nominee John Edwards.

And you wonder why he's running third in Democratic polls.

So what is Joe Simpson doing at the TV upfronts, where networks present their new lineups? "I'm executive-producing a new show that just got picked up called Women's Murder Club," said the Simpson patriarch and pimp.

"It's [based on] a James Patterson [book] series. We were here for the ABC upfronts â€" Angie Harmon, Laura Harris, Paula Newsome. We've got ourselves a great cast."

Will Jessica or little sister Ashlee be making any cameos?

"This is one thing I'm actually trying to do on my own."

That and wrecking his car and driving off.

by Mischalova at . Comments

When posed together, it's easy to tell the difference between Jenna Jameson and her half-nude wax look-alike.

Similarly, it's obvious that this Kylie Minogue picture is one of a fake version of the singer.

Broken Up Babe

But looks can sometimes be deceiving. For example, take a look at Jessica Simpson below. Or, wait, is this a wax figurine of the large-breasted singer?

The giant boobs are certainly in place... along with everything else. Nothing is close to moving. Thanks to serious expression and smooth skin, it really is hard to tell if this is actually Jessica or just a statue.

But to remove all suspense, it's a photo of the actual former Mrs. Nick Lachey. It may not be as scary as old pics of Victoria Beckham - but we'll probably lose some sleep over it tonight at least.

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Life is good for Mario Lopez.

Unlike fellow Saved By the Bell alumnus Dustin Diamond, the guy we grew to love as A.C. Slater isn't making amateur sex tapes, cheating his few remaining fans or appearing on crappy reality shows like Celebrity Fit Club in order to make money.

Jessica Simpson Live

No, since Lopez shot back to fame on Dancing with the Stars, he's been living it up, sleeping with Karina Smirnoff and chilling with Oscar De La Hoya, Eva Longoria and others.

The future Mrs. Tony Parker is seen with Lopez in the picture below (as well as the photo he's snapping), smiling ear to ear. Her mind is elsewhere, though - she's probably thinking about her fun bridal shower or her upcoming nuptials.

The other girl in this picture doesn't look as happy... or attractive. What the hell happened to Jessica Simpson, we have no idea. But even she knows she looks rough as hell at this point. This is a fashion wreck not even her large breasts can salvage.

Oh, and on the far left, we have Jessica's pal and celebrity stylist, Ken Paves. He's not straight, which is a-o-k with us - our only beef is that he's doing a terrible job with her hair. Isn't it your job to make Jess look hot? Get it together, K-Dog.

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Fans who wanted to see Asia Nitollano in The Pussycat Dolls are feeling let down today.

The reality show winner may never get on stage with the all-female group, but at least two other hotties got down and dirty to their songs over the weekend.

Jessica Simpson and Jay Leno

Yes, that's Eva Longoria and Jessica Simpson busting a few moves together and getting their picture snapped by a drooling onlooker.

Also attending the celebration for the second anniversary of The Pussycat Doll Lounge in Las Vegas was Mario Lopez. He and Longoria are friends from way back - but some at The Hollywood Gossip staff believe it may be more. Karina Smirnoff and Tony Parker may wish to keep their eyes open.

We're sorry these weren't better shots of Jessica Simpson's boobs, guys. Or Eva Longoria nude. But you can't have it all.

by Mischalova at . Comments

What happens after a slow weekend in the celebrity gossip world?

Our staff focuses on the one thing that's always exciting and newsworthy: famous boobs. Take the chest of Victoria Beckham, for example. It's not like you have a choice. She flaunts those gigantic breasts everywhere.

So Wrecked

Then there's the more subtle approach to sexiness: Kristin Cavallari. Sure, her shirt is transparent, but at least there's a noticeable bra.

As if those recent pics of boobs weren't enough, however, take a look at the chest of a pair of busty babes below. It's okay, Jessica Simpson doesn't mind. The singer has practically made a living off her commendable cleavage.

Meanwhile, there are few people in the world that have not had an up close encounter with Lindsay Lohan nude. This photo is harmless compared to what a contingent of guys see on a typical Tuesday night.

For other celebrity boobs news, don't forget about Jennifer Love Hewitt.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Jessica Simpson thinks Britney Spears is soooooo over. So 2002. Heck, she doesn't even consider Britney a competitor of hers anymore.

How do we know? She's even offering to help hook her up with her pimp (and father), Crazy Joe Simpson Inc., to help resurrect her career.

A Real Head-Scratcher

Jessica apparently offered to call Britney Spears to set something up for dad, who's been mulling taking over Brit's career ever since she axed manager Larry Rudolph.

Joe Simpson (below, left) tried setting up a meeting over the weekend, says a New York Post source, though a rep for Jessica Simpson denies that.

And Joe Simpson appears to be swooping in just as Britney's actual father - Jamie Spears (below, right, with Brit's mom, Lynne) - has been publicly trashing her for canning Rudolph, as well as blaming her for blaming him and her mother for her rehab-instigating troubles. 

Or something. Jamie blasted her in an April 20 article in the New York Post, calling his daughter "out of control," the results were disastrous. The move pushed Spears (already angry about being forced into rehab) to the edge.

As a consequence, the walking train wreck "has cut everyone out of her life," a source says. "She says she doesn't want to see anyone from her past."

Meanwhile, Britney Spears' relationship with her mother Lynne - with whom she co-wrote two feel-good books, including 2000's Heart to Heart - has been strained from the moment she began dating Kevin Federline in 2004.

But it further deteriorated when Federline, 29, was given custody of their kids, Sean Preston and Jayden James, while Spears, 25, was in rehab - a good call, but one Britney Spears got pissed about and says was orchestrated by her mom.

"She feels her mother gave Larry Rudolph power: He handed her kids over to her ex," explains the source. "Britney loves her mom and they talk almost every day, but they aren't the most cordial conversations."