Joe Simpson loves talking about Jessica Simpson nude.
In the past, the pop singer's father would brag about his daughter's giant boobs. This time? A recent role she was supposedly offered for a movie.
"The last script that came to us was for Jessica to be a porn star," Crazy Joe Simpson, told People at Thursday's ABC Television Critics Association party in Beverly Hills.
"We were promised we would win an Oscar with that," the parent claimed. "I was like, â€˜Eh, we'll just buy a [statue of a] little man and keep our clothes on.' "
Sure, Joe. Jessica is just that much classier than Vanessa Minnillo nude, huh? Too bad for you she's the one now making Nick Lachey happy.
Since she shot to fame in 2003 with Lachey on MTV's Newlyweds Simpson has been receiving quirky TV-show proposals "every day," according to her deranged father.
"We're pitched those a lot," he said. "There are a lot of cool ones, and a lot of really strange ones."
Considering the fact that Matt Leinart is receiving better movie roles than Jessica, perhaps the Simpsons should accept one of these supposed offers.
Currently, Papa Simpson is promoting ABC's fall series The Women's Murder Club, which he is producing with Rush Hour director Brett Ratner. No plans are underway for Jessica or her younger sister Ashlee Simpson to appear on the show.
"They're very busy, and they're happy," Joe Simpson says of his daughters. "Jessica has three more movies to shoot; she has a new record coming in September. If the right role came up, of course, we'd never turn that down."
But, apparently, it can't involve any Jessica Simpson nude scenes. We don't know why she can't just be more like Lucy Pinder.