Jessica Simpson

Disco has long been out of style.

While Lady Gaga can wear sequins, sparkles and sing about riding on a disco stick and make just about anything work, most celebs are not Lady Gaga.

There's a fine line between silvery and shiny and looking like a human disco ball, as E! Online amusingly and accurately put it. See Exhibits A-D below.

Selena Gomez, New Moon's Christian Serratos, Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson all fell victim to the allure of the head-to-toe silver dress. Blinding!

Or maybe we're being too harsh on them ... some of them anyway. Who do you think made this look work the best? Vote in our fashion survey!

Who wore the disco ball dress best?

Don't get us wrong. It's nice when stars are comfortable in their own skin and don't feel the need to slather on the makeup like Snooki from Jersey Shore.

But that doesn't mean they have to get dressed in the dark.

Jessica Simpson, for example, looked a little rumpled and worse for the wear yesterday as she made her way to see her sister's Broadway show Chicago.

With messy hair, zero makeup and wearing a plaid jacket-thing of some kind, the alleged singer and actress certainly left an impression on passersby.

Whether it was a positive impression, or along the lines of the impression we got watching her get violated by a candle, is in the eye of the beholder ...

What do you think of Jessica Simpson's appearance here?

Not that many years ago, Jessica Simpson was making hit records, starring in movies, and dominating gossip headlines as one of the hottest celebs around.

Now? She's posting Twitter videos of herself jamming candles in her ear.

You've probably stopped reading already, but if you're still around, this took place after Ken Paves told her putting a lit candle in her ear removes ear wax.

Ken is Jessica's BFF and hair stylist. He also has the most annoying laugh we've ever heard ... seriously, Kendra Wilkinson has just been dethroned there.

The funniest part? Jessica moaning like crazy. Is it because it's uncomfortable, or because the exploration of her ear with a warm, waxy substance just ...

Okay, that's enough. If you really have nothing better to do, watch it:

Ear Candle Action

It's been a couple of weeks since Tiger Woods was linked to Rachel Uchitel. And Jamie Grubbs. And Kalika Moquin. And Jamie Jungers, and Mindy Lawton, Cori Rist, Holly Sampson, Joslyn James, Loredana Jolie, Julie Postle and Theresa Rogers.

We've become numb to the ever-growing list of Tiger Woods mistresses at this point. Dude bedded waitesses, we get it. It's not like he was linked to a celebrity.

Or was he?!

According to Star, none other than Jessica Simpson was in "Tiger’s little black book" and days before her split with Tony Romo, she had a "sizzling meeting" with the fallen golf star at the AT&T National Pro-Am golf tournament in Bethesda, Md.

"Tiger liked what he saw and let her know it," a source tells Star, and Jess was fighting with Tony - Tiger's weekend golf partner - so "she gave as good as she got."

TOUCHY FEELY: Look at Tiger's hand ... dude's making his move!

We're not sure what that means. Presumably they mean flirting, and not other things "Jessica gave" as good as she got. But it's Tiger Woods. You never know.

Continues the eyewitness:

“Jessica felt Tony wasn’t paying attention to her, so she was like, ‘What the heck!’ She decided she would have fun with Tiger whether it bothered Tony or not.”

Phone numbers were exchanged. Then emails. Before long, bodily fluids.

Okay, we made that last part up, but would you really be surprised? Didn't think so. We can't wait 'til Jessica moves in for the kill once Elin Woods leaves Tiger.

We know what will happen after that, too. She'll get way too clingy and annoying and he'll dump her, but hey, she can always slum it with Billy Corgan later.

After rumors swirled earlier this week that they were dating, friends confirm that Jessica Simpson and Billy Corgan are in fact an item – and taking things slow.

"They're getting to know each other," says a source. "He's a nice guy."

Friday, Jessica Simpson and Billy Corgan were spotted together in New York City. She was in town earlier for sister Ashlee Simpson-Wentz's Broadway debut.

Corgan's spirituality may just be what appeals to Simpson. Really.

On September, Jessica Simpson, who has often spoken about how important God is to her and whose father, Joe Simpson, is a former pastor, Tweeted this:

"My friend, Billy Corgan, has a pure, enlightening outlook on faith."

Who knew? Here's a picture of them together taken last Friday ...

Billy Corgan is really dating Jessica Simpson!

No matter where this new romance heads, a friend of Simpson's says she is happy that she is dating again – especially after Tony Romo dumped her this summer.

"She's a great girl," says a friend. "She's really clingy and desperate and has absolutely no talent sweet. She's had a tough year, but she deserves the best."

We can't wait to see where this new romance leads!

Has Jessica Simpson traded down once again?

According to recent reports, Smashing Pumpkins (remember them from the 1990s?) frontman Billy Corgan has been smashing it ... with Jessica Simpson!

Terrible segues and sexual innuendo aside, this is a real rumor. E! says the alleged singer is smitten with the awful singer. That guy's voice is so dreadful.

Anyway, it's a lot more than just lust, they say. What reportedly started off as a mere crush on the alt-rocker has turned into something much deeper!

Hope the rest of the Pumpkins have their tuxes dry cleaned ...

"She has fallen hard and is smitten," a source says of Jessica Simpson, adding that both she and 42-year-old Billy consider themselves "officially dating."

Reps for both have yet to comment, but another source close to Jess says her inner circle is not exactly thrilled when it comes to this rumored hookup.

"He's just another in an endless string of Jessica's boyfriends," says the source. "They think he's too old for her. No one takes her boyfriends seriously."

"She has had so many by now. They're sick of all of them being 'the one.'"

This quote is from someone who is friends with Jessica Simpson, too.

Sounds like even those close to her are sick of her 24/7/365 pity parties. No wonder Tony Romo flew the coop before Joe pressured him into marriage.

Joe Simpson will not take criticism of his prize employees sitting down.

At Monday's performance of Chicago in Manhattan, where Ashlee Simpson-Wentz made her Broadway debut, her dad admitted feeling under siege.

"We as a family are under a lot pressure," the pimp-in-chief of the Simpsons said, adding that peeps want "to make us look bad, want us to fail."

This is not true, and we resent the allegation. We merely point out and delight in the fact that they do fail when their acting is beyond painful.

"The world says whatever it says," he adds. "They always want to make it look like we're failures but we're really just a family that works hard."

Not sure who they are, but whatever helps Joe sleep at night.

Ashlee getting canned from Melrose Place wasn't the only setback in what has been a tough year for Joe's girls, however. There's Jessica. Ouch.

In 2009, she struggled with her weight, wore some hideous fashion, watched a coyote snack on her dog and got dumped by NFL star Tony Romo.

The night before her birthday, no less. That stings.

Fortunately, next year Jessica returns to reality TV with The Price of Beauty, a VH1 series that features her traveling the world. Scintillating.

The happy dad - who cried during Ashlee's Chicago performance - praised both of his daughters' ability to roll with the punches above all.

"My children look at ups and downs and rise up above it all and remain strong. We're just normal people, and we always try to be who we are."

Recently, Jessica Simpson maturely took to her Twitter account to deride the CW for giving her younger sister Ashlee the pink slip from the Melrose Place cast.

Now she's rising to her sibling's defense yet again, hitting back at celebrity gossip blogger Perez Hilton, who dissed Ash and one-year-old son Bronx this weekend.

On Friday, Bronx's first birthday, Perez wrote: "It's been one year since Asslee pushed Bronx Mowgli through her vajayjay and it's all the family is talking about!"

Unfunny, perhaps. But quite true!

Perez ended his post by calling Bronx a "poor lil' thing" who "doesn't stand a chance!!!" Talk about stating the obvious, Perez. Still, is that so bad? Jess thinks so.

It's a battle of the blonde bimbos.

Simpson hopped on Twitter later that day and wrote a scathing rebuttal to the blogger (whose real name, for future reference, Jess, is Mario Lavandeira): 

"Does perez hilton..whatever his name really is.. have no heart at all??Don't ever attack my family again.Sad to know u hate so deeply.So Sad 4 U"

We're sad for Jessica's grade school grammar and spelling teachers. But we're glad she's sticking up for Ashlee. Good thing Jess has so much free time.

Whose side are you on?

Jessica Simpson and Dolly Parton have a lot in common. Or at least two pretty major things in common. Well, two things plus blonde hair and country music.

The famously busty pair found common ground this week on Twitter, faced with the difficulties of lugging those things around with them every single day.

"Aahhh chiropractor... Hurts so good :-) you lug these around and see if your back don't hurt!" Parton posted to her Twitter account on Monday morning.

Jessica Simpson responded to the tweet with an "Amen sister :)."

Giant boobs then and now: They appear more exposed these days.

Both Simpson's and Parton's double-D breasts have been topics of discussion (among fans and celebrity gossip websites) over the course of their careers.

Jessica Simpson's father, Joe Simpson, famously praised his daughter's chest in a 2004 interview with GQ magazine, saying, "Jessica never tries to be sexy."

"She just is sexy. If you put her in a T-shirt or you put her in a bustier, she's gonna be sexy in both. She's got double D's! You can't cover those suckers up!"

Spoken like a true pimp moonlighting as a father.

As we recently reported, Ashlee Simpson-Wentz was given the pink slip by the CW's Melrose Place, joining the growing ranks of unemployed Americans.

In the wake of her sister's firing, Jessica Simpson says she is no longer a fan, taking to Twitter to defend Ash and bash Melrose Place for letting her go.

Here's what she wrote to the CW:

"Catching up on MP. who writes this crap? i have had some bad scripts to work with, but this? thank God my sister is amazing and got you some press."

Of course, the show feels it will improve with her gone.

According to various reports, Ashlee was canned because producers feel she can't act, and was therefore responsible for the aforementioned bad scripts.

SISTERLY SUPPORT: However delusional she may be, Jessica has Ashlee's back.

"They hired her because they needed a good name to help create buzz," a set insider said. "But it backfired when she was so embarrassingly bad."

"Producers cut her down as much as possible."

Seconds another source, according to Us Weekly: “[Ashlee] is the worst actress, but nobody will tell her.” THG NOTE: We have certainly tried ...

Anyway, what's next for Ashlee? Possibly more acting. The girl is undeterred by the recent eviction from her day job, according to a source:

"She’s reading scripts. Acting is her focus now. If she had an album, she’d have to tour and be away from Bronx. She wants consistency.”