Jessica Simpson

Jessica Simpson was recently described as sexual napalm by John Mayer.

While she didn't address the truth of that statement in the new issue of Allure (unfortunately), she did reference the douchebag singer on one occasion.

"He didn't make me go brunette," she says of her past hair color. "John doesn't get the credit. He'd like to think so, but he doesn't deserve the credit."

Oh, SNAP!

Jessica Simpson is a globe-trotting beauty spy. Apparently.

Jessica says she isn't bitter at her exes, particularly Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, of whom she says, "I'm still a fan. I wear my gear, and I cheer Tony on."

Her career isn't what it once was, but her body still is. No one can take that away from Jessica. Or John for having kissed and told ... and told, and told.

Click to enlarge more Jessica Simpson pictures from Allure ...

[Photos: Allure]

Joe Simpson, father and pimp of Jessica and Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, is developing a television comedy for Nickelodeon based on his life raising two daughters.

Yes, we're serious. Because we haven't seen enough of Ashlee and Jessica Simpson's fairly uninteresting lives on TV and in the tabloids every day for 10 years.

This proposed 'tween series, a collaboration with comedy vet Tommy Lynch, is said to be based on the Simpson family's life in Texas before they were famous.

You know, the typically awkward, growing up years.

So we're sure there's nothing embarrassing to be mined from that, right? No, it's just Joe looking to further cash in on cash cows Ashlee and Jessica Simpson.

Joe Simpson with his prized client.

Yes, this is actually a real story. Yes, this is a slow news day.

A source tells Us that Jessica Simpson was in a business meeting for her denim line in late January when she decided to lighten the mood by breaking wind.

According to this well-placed insider, "While one of the executives was speaking in a room full of five people, Jessica let out a very loud fart.

"Her mother [Tina] was there, and it prompted her to turn around and yell, 'Jessica!' The tension was extreme. No one knew what to say."

We're shocked by this. Jessica Simpson was in a business meeting?

Lay off the spicy food, Jessica. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Amazing that this is really all that Jessica Simpson now makes news for: cutting ass in meetings, getting dumped for being too needy and posting Twitter pics like this.

Remember when she had an actual career? Yeah, neither do we.

Some creature got into Jessica Simpson's bed over the weekend.

No, it wasn't John Mayer, Tony Romo or Billy Corgan. It was just a dog named Sammy. We have no idea why we're writing about this.

"Sammy and I are falling asleep," the alleged singer Twittered.

"Sweet snuggle companion."

Former star Jessica Simpson pretends to be asleep as she takes a picture, later posted on Twitter, of herself snuggling in bed with a cute, likely displeased pooch.

Last September, Simpson's beloved maltipoo Daisy - a gift from ex Nick Lachey - was snatched by a coyote in L.A. Her poor little companion was never found.

Apparently subscribing to the Kim Kardashian school of Twittering and sharing with us her every mundane move, Jessica took the time to elaborate on this.

"Sammy and I are falling asleep. Sweet snuggle companion," she wrote. "Thx so much Jeannia and Evan for letting me have her for the night :)"

Daisy is still the only one in her heart, though: "Sammy isn't my new pup. I borrowed her for the night from my friends :)"

We now return to actual news.

Yesterday, we profiled and took your pulse on some surprisingly sophisticated and conservative Jessica Simpson fashion. The verdict? Actually fairly positive!

Now, let's see how you feel about the star's hair.

Jessica has mixed it up recently, keeping her face the focus by sweeping back her hair at one event, thrn switching to a retro-inspired bouffant with bangs.

Which look do you think is best? Vote below ...

Jessica Simpson looks way better with ...

Jessica Simpson sported a remarkably subdued ensemble at the premiere of Extraordinary Measures Tuesday night. We hardly recognized it was Jess.

The alleged singer toned everything down, covering up with a turtleneck and black leggings. Seriously, that's Jessica. So little skin showing, it's surprising!

While leggings as pants are always a bit questionable (Gossip Girl fashion has taught us some things), but we like the conservative, all-black effect overall.

Surely good "friend" Billy Corgan would agree. Actually, maybe he'd prefer something wilder. How do you feel about Jess' new look? Vote in our poll below!

Jessica covers up for a change! [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Jessica Simpson's latest style statement is ...

Rumors have continued to fly about Jessica Simpson and Billy Corgan on the romantic front, but after a month of heavy flirting, things have reportedly cooled off.

"Jessica loved spending time in and out of the studio with Billy," a pal said of Jess and the Smashing Pumpkins frontman. "She's in awe of his musical prowess."

"It added up to serious feelings, but they are not actually dating."

The source said that Jessica Simpson and Billy Corgan were introduced by a music producer pal, and they've worked together both in New York and Los Angeles.

The insider said Corgan was making an effort to visit her beyond their musical collaboration, but that the two were probably too different for that to work.

Too different? You're kidding. [Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

"Dating Jessica can be intense. Billy lives a quiet, private, music-focused life and the taste of publicity he got being with Jessica was an eye opener," the source said.

"Billy likes Jessica, but he will work to keep their relationship as it is and focus on the music. They were not getting serious, but Jessica has so much fun with him."

The pal said hanging with Corgan is helping Jess "finally grow up."

"[Jessica Simpson] has gotten fed up with doing things for other people ... she barely wears makeup these days. She eats whatever she wants. She once was a slave to what people thought, but Billy has brought out a mature, toned down Jessica."

We just can't wait to hear the music they collaborated on. Simpson Pumpkins? Smashing Jessica? Hitmakers of the '90s Struggling to Hang On? Time will tell ...

Those mom jeans and fat Jessica Simpson pictures are so last year.

The singer ... actress ... whatever she is totally got back into killer shape again and she’s crediting boxing as having her reached her weight loss goals.

There's little doubt that Jessica's bod is rockin' again.

Exhibit A: The flattering black dress she stepped out in Wednesday night for a dinner date with friends in Los Angeles. Gotta give credit where due:

The 2010 version of Jessica Simpson is leaner and meaner!

Jess Tweeted this week: "Boxing changed my life! I have so much energy and it cured my insomnia. Although I don't think I can get out of bed I'm SO sore."

Simpson, whose ex-loves include Nick Lachey, John Mayer and Tony Romo, is also reportedly happy and in love with her new flame, rocker Billy Corgan. Really.

We're glad she's doing better and not sitting around jamming candles in her ear. You can chalk up her big turnaround to boxing at the gym. The only drawback?

"Dear elderly man at the gym," she Tweets. "its hard 4 me 2 keep composure whilst punching at chipmunk speed when ur ball sack spills out of ur wind shorts."

You heard her, naked old guy at the gym. You're on notice.

It's a new year, and that means a new fitness plan for Jessica Simpson. The alleged singer, actress and VH1 reality star says she's got a new workout passion.

She posted on Twitter earlier this week, "Just got done boxing. Second day in a row... Have I lost my marbles?" No. That would imply she once had marbles.

The star, who is scheduled to appears in VH1's The Price of Beauty this year, has been chronicling her gym routine on Twitter. She must really be bored.

"Why am I still hurting from our workout earlier? I'm getting old!" she wrote, adding that she has "sore buns." Imagine her brains after all that Tweeting.

Jessica Simpson is looking pretty good these days at least.

Last year was an up-and-down one for the singer's career - and weight. Looks like she's determined not to have people ripping apart Jessica Simpson pictures in 2010.

Disco has long been out of style.

While Lady Gaga can wear sequins, sparkles and sing about riding on a disco stick and make just about anything work, most celebs are not Lady Gaga.

There's a fine line between silvery and shiny and looking like a human disco ball, as E! Online amusingly and accurately put it. See Exhibits A-D below.

Selena Gomez, New Moon's Christian Serratos, Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson all fell victim to the allure of the head-to-toe silver dress. Blinding!

Or maybe we're being too harsh on them ... some of them anyway. Who do you think made this look work the best? Vote in our fashion survey!

Who wore the disco ball dress best?