by Free Britney at . Comments

Breaking news from the bastion of journalistic integrity, OK Weekly: Jennifer Aniston is having a baby on her own! Again! She must have like nine by now!

Why else would she put her house, with its wide-open floor plan that is SO not family friendly, on the market? “It’s no place to raise a baby,” she confided.

The star is so focused on adopting a baby and her future as a mom that she’s making "enormous sacrifices," according to this 100 percent accurate story:

A Baby For Jen! Yet Again!

IT'S A DONE DEAL: Seriously, her house is for sale.

Hilariously, the OK! story says zilch about Jen's actual plans to adopt a baby, focusing instead on her real estate adventures and family-friendly layouts.

Probably a good thing this is BS. Mike Huckabee would be so pissed!

Jennifer Aniston baby stories must absolutely clean up in the celebrity gossip revenue game, because why else would they go back to this well so often?

Seriously, they do it all the time. Some past examples ...

  • Yes, She's Adopting!
  • Having a Baby NOW!
  • I Will Help U Adopt!
  • Jen's a Mom!
  • Baby Time!
  • Baby For Jen!
  • Pregnant Jennifer Aniston?

by Free Britney at . Comments

Slow news week? Check.

Fake Jennifer Aniston baby news? Check!

DO NOT BUY OK! Magazine. Please. Save your money, and send a message to the celebrity gossip publication's editors that they need to work a little harder.

Seriously, you'd think by the 12th time of fabricating Jennifer Aniston’s "baby plans," they'd at least try to think of some NEW lies to vaguely relay to us ...

Baby Time!

YES, I'M HAVING A BABY ... said some friend of hers.

The mag hilariously promises a sneak peek at an interview "everybody is going to be talking about." What is there to talk about, other than it's completely untrue?

The article contains exclusive details regarding these topics:

  • What the star is doing to prepare
  • Why Jen’s finally ready now
  • Who the daddy might be

Our theories: aggressive sexuality, she's not, and nobody.

There, we just saved your time and money. You're welcome. Get it together, OK! Can't you make stuff up about Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt sneaking around behind Angelina Jolie's back - that would at least be a moderately interesting lie.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Five cities. Five countries. Three weeks. One baby.

That's how long and how far Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler have traveled together promoting The Bounty Hunter, and what the actress expects to get out of it.

According to the unintentionally comedic OK! Magazine, it was during Jen and Gerard’s stop in Madrid, Spain, that fans started buzzing about more than the film.

The gleam in Jen’s eye ... her easy, confident glow ... her left hand resting on her not-so-flat tummy ... unmistakable signs that she is with child! Or just relaxed.

“Jen very much wants to have a baby girl," a source says. "She had a heart-to-heart with friends and relatives and this is the year she’s going to be a mom.”

If that wasn't proof enough, this cover will do it ...

Baby For Jen!

So who’s on deck to play dad? Gerard Butler! Jen not only "adores Gerry" but thinks "he’d make a perfect father." This story is hilarious for several reasons:

  • The carefully chosen language that never actually says Jennifer Aniston is pregnant (or even dating Gerard Butler). Oh, tabloid editors. Wordsmiths.
  • The use of the word "confirmed," in all caps no less. Thank you, OK. What is confirmed? That the report exists? It sure does ... and applies to nothing! 
  • The fact that Jennifer Aniston "baby news" has been done about 20 times, is obviously untrue, and lacks any credibility, yet they report it again!

Congratulations, Jen, on your baby with a guy who you merely starred in a movie with and flirt with sometimes, and who's really dating Laurie Cholewa.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Wow. Either Star didn't feel the Tiger Woods drama was that big a deal, or this Jennifer Aniston gossip was just too good not to make its lead story.

Despite the biggest sex scandal in a long time - and possibly the biggest in the history of sports - actually happening, Star went a different route.

Kevin and Jayden James Federline

Well, a different route from other celeb gossip tabloids.

It's not exactly a story that hasn't been told before ... almost every single week by Star and its ilk. OMG! The lonely girl is finally having a baby:

It's a baby at last for Jennifer Aniston! Note: No it's not.

According to this ridiculous cover, Jennifer Aniston is, at long last, having a baby. Brad Pitt apparently "helped" in this endeavor. Whatever that means.

Leaf through the pages and you can read all about their "secret arrangement," though. Not sure how secret it can be, considering they reunite every week.

Perhaps because it doesn't explicitly say that Brad got Jennifer Aniston pregnant (for once), Brad's helping by donating one of his 29 kids to his ex-wife.

How "he convinced Angie" we can't say. But rest assured, Star can. Their novelists have been working on this one for a good couple of months now.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Just when you think OK! Magazine can't lower the bar any further, the fabled celebrity gossip supermarket tabloid establishes a new standard of hilarity.

According to this fine publication, Jennifer Aniston is pregnant! What great news!

Suri With Katie

Too bad there's not a single fact that would remotely suggest this, nor is she even in a relationship. Besides, everyone knows she's going to die alone.

According to OK!, Jen has never hidden that her biological clock is ticking since she turned 40 in February. Understandable, as that's pretty near death.

“I feel [motherhood is] in my future and I’m on the verge of it in some way,” the Love Happens star said in recent months. “I want to have children."

Jen's "baby dream" is coming true. What that is? No one knows.

Becoming a parent has quickly become a high priority for the actress, who has scheduled several months off before starting her next project in 2010.

At least according to a celebrity gossip magazine that cites made-up sources who have surely never even spoken to her. They're made up, after all.

“Jen’s made no secret of the fact she wants to get pregnant,” says one such source. “Now, with nothing on her schedule for a while, she can finally relax and address priorities that matter most. Motherhood is at the top of her list."

“She wants to have a baby soon,” adds another Aniston insider.

Someone should probably tell her that. If she's not too busy picking out what to wear to the wedding of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, that is.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Someone must have watched He's Just Not That Into You this weekend!

Grey's Anatomy star Chyler Leigh, who already has two children with husband Nathan West, is currently expecting her third - and has an interesting name picked out when their little girl arrives in May, she recently told The Insider.

"We're going with Aniston," the 26-year-old actress said.

Chyler Leigh Pic

Chyler Leigh says she is going to name her daughter Aniston. Big Friends fan? Looking to combine Anne and Madison? Just trying to be different? [Photos: Splash News]

Who knows what the Grey's Anatomy star thinking or even if she's serious. But in the grand scheme of celebrity baby names, well, it's no Bronx Mowgli.

The bar has been set pretty low. So low it will be hard for anyone to sneak under.

She and West are proud parents of son Noah, 5, and daughter Taelyn, 2. Their youngest will definitely have good genes - even if she can't sponge off of Jennifer Aniston!

by Free Britney at . Comments

Based on a glance at either of the two celebrity gossip tabloids below, one would think Jennifer Aniston is pregnant and/or engaged.

Then one remembers the following:

  1. These same celebrity news rags published multiple made-up stories about Britney Spears, some of them so concocted that they featured (failed) efforts to pass off photos from 2003 and 2004, respectively.
  2. The covers below don't actually say anything concrete.
  3. John Mayer may be great in the sack, but he's not marriage material. "Waiting on the World to Change?" Come on.

See this groundbreaking Jennifer Aniston "news" for yourself ...

Pregnant Jennifer Aniston?

For whatever reason, Star wants us to believe that Jennifer Aniston cares about the Brangelina twins to the point of obsession. And our guess is that "Jen & John's backyard ceremony" was actually a barbecue. Same thing, right, OK!?

Jennifer Aniston Biography

Half Naked Jennifer Aniston Jennifer Aniston is beloved throughout Hollywood. She's had a tough personal life, but is still beautiful and a solid actress. More »
Full Name
Jennifer Aniston

Jennifer Aniston Quotes

I actually feel I've been unbelievably lucky in love. I don't feel like I'm supposed to be any further along or somewhere that I'm not. I'm right where I'm supposed to be.

Jennifer Aniston

You just have to love your life. I have my health, I have my friends, I have my loved ones. I'm extremely lucky.

Jennifer Aniston
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