by Free Britney at . Comments

As Jersey Shore goes, Season 2, Episode 2 ("The Hangover") was not among the greatest. How could it be with the primary focus on Sammi and Ronnie?

While Ronnie pretended not to remember what he did the night before, Sammi gave him the cold shoulder ... until she came around for the 293rd time.

Also heavily featured in this week's episode? Angelina Pivarnick. Like Sammi and Ronnie, she really needs an intervention, or a just ticket home ASAP.

At a certain point it's just boring and annoying. Meltdowns are supposed to be fun to watch, right? Though we suppose JWoww may still throw down.

Anyway, here's The Hollywood Gossip's scientific plus-minus recap ...

Season 2 Jersey Shore Cast

Ronnie, on hooking up with land mines and grenades in the premiere: "Yo, I was doin' mad work tonight bro! Mad work!" Yo, you're a douche, bro! Minus 8.

Vinny says one of Ronnie's hookups plays tight end for the Giants. Plus 4.

Pauly D coins another gem: "Ronnie's new nickname is IFF. The I'm F*%ked Foundation. He's a client and the president!" Plus 7, because it's funny and true.

For a girl nicknamed Sweetheart, Sammi really isn't that nice. Minus 16. We're just saying. These girls are all catty, but she's miserable and not even funny.

JWoww at the tranny store: "The sex shop is perfect. Perfect ... It's my scene. And when I get into my scene I get into my clothes." What clothes? Minus 6.

After buying a $395 pair of sunglasses, Snooki walks around blind, seeks pickles, ruins dinner, and does a half-ass job cleaning it up. Standard. Plus 9.

Delivery guy: What's the name? Mike: Situation. S-i-t-u-a-t-i-o-n. Plus 5.

Snooki and JWoww confront Angelina about smack-talk pertaining to their friends/boyfriends. JWoww threatens violence many, many times. Plus 13.

Sammi and Ronnie Pic

Give it a rest, you guys. Seriously.

Pauly D's new boss is concerned about his hair. His response: "This hair ain't movin' my dude. 150 miles per hour on the highway on a street bike. Doesn't move. What makes you think it's gonna move in a gelato shop?" Amen. Plus 14.

The Situation introduces the shirt-before-the-shirt concept: "We have an abundance of wife beaters ... we wear before we go out. Then it's T-shirt time. Right before we go out we take off the tank and then we put on our fresh shirt." Plus 11.

At the club, The Situation gets bitten while making out with a panty-less drunk girl. Happens to the best of us on Thursday nights. Hang in there. Minus 4.

Pauly D hooks up with a girl who, according to Angelina, is married. She confronts him about this, apparently unaware that 1. She used to date a married guy herself, and 2. Pauly D obviously doesn't care, girl! Chill! Plus 7.

After professing her love to Pauly D (seriously), Ange proceeds to SLAP HIM. Minus 19 for being generally insane, and Minus 12 more for this being the most pathetic slap ever. Everyone hates you anyway ... put your back into it!

Plus 3 for next week's promo. After this week, it should be hilariously awkward.

TOTAL: +8. SEASON: +34. Follow this link for the night's Jersey Shore quotes!

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The greatness/awfulness that is Jersey Shore is back. As advertised, Season 2 features a new shore (pity Miami Beach), but the same crazy. And then some.

We were concerned that the cast's celebrity status would diminish the show's luster, but the genuineness of these characters (for better or worse) was there.

So was the entertainment. While predictable, it was great to have The Situation, Snooki, Pauly D, J-Woww, Ronnie, Sammi, Vinny and that other girl back.

Here's The Hollywood Gossip's scientific plus-minus recap ...

En route to pick up the Sitch, Pauly D sums up Northeast winters: "Can't do nothin' in this weather. Can't tan, can't creep ... Girls stay in the house." Plus 5.

A dark brown Snooki laments that she no longer tans since "Obama put a 10% tax on tanning." Pretty sure that doesn't take effect until like 2014. Minus 4.

Jersey Shore Season 2 Cast

JWoww and Snooki ridicule Angelina's self-proclaimed "Kim Kardashian of Staten Island" moniker. "With what ass?" JWoww muses. A valid point. Plus 3.

No one expected Angelina Pivarnick back this season. She awkwardly greets Pauly D and The Situation, who reluctantly let her bunk with them. Minus 1.

Down south, Snooki discovers "life-changing" fried pickles. They did look good. Plus 2. That dude in the restaurant gets a Plus 1 for his fist-pump, too.

Ronnie and Sammi reunite. The tension is thick, lame and boring. This is totally going to be a drawn-out, painful Audrina-Justin kind of thing. Minus 7.

Pauly D does a quick pro-con on the Angelina situation: She's annoying and causes drama, but there could be a slow night with no chicks, so ... Plus 18.

While the guys are awkward but mostly tolerant of Angelina, the girls are ready to full-on brawl. Holy crap, JWoww needs to lay off the steroids. Minus 5.

As a general rule, it's hard not to smile at what a blast the guys are having with this show. The girls, meanwhile, just come off miserable and catty. Even.

One of the Boys

Cons: Annoying drama queen. Pros: Easily accessible.

Lending a hand scrubbing in the sink after a DISASTER involving Sammi’s FAVORITE white shorts, Snooki says "I feel like a pilgrim from the freakin' '20s." Plus 6.

An intoxicated Ronnie calls Sammi an "ungrateful c**t" and says she will "never f*%king win." Win what, you effing moron? Get over yourself. Minus 13.

Vinny sums up the night: "Ronnie's obliviated at this point." Plus 6.

The Situation: "Ron is at the club hooking up with grenades, which is a bigger ugly chick, and land mines, which is a thinner ugly chick, and ... loving life." Plus 11.

Sure enough, Ronnie mauls one of each. Minus 8 for the nasty close-up.

An additional Plus 12 for the previews of future episodes. Wow.

TOTAL: +26. Follow this link for the night's best Jersey Shore quotes!

by Free Britney at . Comments

Get ready to beat up the beat.

Snooki and J-Woww, a.k.a. Nicole Polizzi and Jenni Farley, a.k.a. the really short, orange girl and the behemoth with the enormous fake boobs from Jersey Shore, posed for the cameras at the Jersey Shore Soundtrack Album Release Party this week.

That's gonna be an awesome soundtrack, for sure ... this gang requires the right kind of tunes to go absolutely wild on the boardwalk. Which they will do again, beginning July 29 on MTV (follow the link to peep the Jersey Shore Season 2 trailer).

The real question, of course, is ...

Snooki and Jenni

Who would you rather ...

 

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The Jersey Shore cast needs to hit the beach or something. They're looking kind of aimless in these photos from a recent day out and about in Miami.

Seriously, they look bored. It must not be the same in South Beach without the sights and sounds of Karma and Ronnie pummeling boardwalk idiots.

This awesome photo of Snooki and J-Woww got us thinking, though: Which one of the Jersey Shore cast members would you rather ... you know?

One is a HGH-riddled behemoth with enormous fake boobs. The other may or may not be auditioning for Little People, Big World later this year.

Both fake tan and wear ridiculous outfits. So who's it gonna be?!

J-Woww and Snooki Picture

Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi or Jenni "J-Woww" Farley: Who'd you rather ...

 

Click to enlarge more pics of the cast (including Angelina Pivarnick, the self-proclaimed Kim Kardashian of Staten Island, and Ronnie Magro) in Miami this week ...

  • Ron Magro
  • Snookie Pic
  • Snooki and J-Woww Photo
  • Big and Small
  • Angelina and Snooki
  • The Kim K. of Staten Island

[Photos: Fame Pictures]

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"I'd do it every year if I could." J-Woww on breast implants, to Harper's Bazaar.

Quotes like that give you some idea of what the fashion mag was up against when it sought to turn Jersey Shore cast members into elegant, classy ladies.

If you never saw show, however, you might be fooled. Jenni (J-Woww) Farley, Sammi Giancola (Sweetheart) and Nicole Polizzi (Snooki) clean up nice ...

The Jersey Shore Girls

FISH OUT OF WATER: The girls attempt to look refined.

In the magazine, Snooki, J-Woww and Sammi get etiquette lessons from New York City socialite Tinsley Mortimer for reasons unknown. Will they take?

"I know a couple things about manners," Snooki declares. "I just don't use them."

There you have it. You can take the princess out of Poughkeepsie, but you can't make the princess any less trashy or have her put on underwear.

Click to enlarge more J-Woww, Sammi and Snooki pictures ...

  • Jersey Shore Charm School
  • Jenni, J-Woww
  • Sammi Giancola Pic
  • Elegant Snooki
  • Classy Jersey Babes

[Photos: Harper's Bazaar]

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The cast of MTV's Jersey Shore has brought its GTL, bed-hopping, first-pumping antics to Miami's South Beach for Season 2, but that's just the beginning.

Lest you thought Seaside Heights, N.J., was a thing of the past, the gang will be returning to the Garden State - in the very same house - don't you worry.

They just got a jump on Season 2 in Miami because of the weather.

"Once the boardwalk heats back up, the series will return to the Jersey Shore to complete the season," MTV said, noting that the season starts July 29.

The Cast of Jersey Shore

All the lovable guidos and guidettes will beat up the beat again: Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, Paul "DJ Pauly D" DelVecchio, Jenni "JWoww" Farley, Sammi Giancola, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro and Vinny Guadagnino.

Also returning? Angelina Pivarnick, a.k.a. the random girl who bailed after like one episode, and a.k.a. Kim Kardashian of Staten Island (self-proclaimed).

The network is also exploring adding new cast members to the second season or more likely the third season of the surprise reality hit. Filming dates in Seaside are July 1-September 19, so it looks like a third season is in the works.

"It's like a big family reunion," said Tony DiSanto, MTV's president of programming. "We couldn't be more excited that the whole group is together in Miami and that they'll be going back to Jersey when the sun heats up."

Also heating up? Tempers. MTV worries that more peeps will pick fights with Snooki, Ronnie and company just to get on TV (the stars will likely oblige).

The network has requested additional police presence for the cast. According to the Seaside Heights P.D., MTV wants 8-10 off-duty officers - their tab.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Who knew Ronnie and J-Woww could even read? Not us, but both Jersey Shore stars apparently signed a book deal! - and talk about a page-turner!

Never Fall In Love At the Jersey Shore, a Guido's guide to how to maintain the oh-so distinctive Jersey Shore look and attitude, brought to you by two of the show’s degenerate houseguests, J-Woww and Ronnie, is due out sometime this year.

And you wonder by the publishing industry is in decline. Then again, Lauren Conrad wrote a New York Times best-seller, so you never know, right?

  • Ronnie (Jersey Shore)
  • JWOWW Picture

Ronnie and J-Woww: Soon-to-be authors.

For reasons very much unclear, St. Martin’s Press enlisted Jenni Farley and Ronnie Magro to break down Shore living. We assume that includes a guide to:

  • GTL (Gym, Tanning, Laundry)
  • FHTB (Feverish Hot Tub Boinking)
  • FGFB (Flaunting Giant Fake Boobs)
  • BUEFN (Breaking Up Every F*$kin' Night)
  • GABTCAMGSAGIFWRJOTB (Getting Arrested By The Cops After Making Gay Slurs and Getting in Fights with Random Jackasses on the Boardwalk)

No doubt the advice will be something to cherish for life.

by Free Britney at . Comments

The Jersey Shore cast just screams high fashion, doesn't it?

Somehow, the Ed Hardy-wearing, fake-tanned likes of J-Woww, Snooki, and Sammi and their tight "going out" top glory are featured in Harper's Bazaar.

In related news, The Situation will be guest-editing Vogue.

You have to give the girls credit for cleaning up nicely, though, even if Snookz can't pose for a picture without wearing that ridiculous grin (or something).

Classy Jersey Girls

DOLLS: The women of Jersey Shore get classy.

Perhaps J-Woww summed up the experience best on Twitter: “Harper Bizaar shoot in 6 hrs and can’t sleep :( ... Omg to the Harper’s Bazaar Shoot. Prior to the show I never purchased one mag/ now I’m in a lot of em! I buy 10 a wk! They’re addicting!”

So true.

All three of the ladies shown above will appear in the magazine, and at least for their standards, they look (dare we say it) pretty classy in the process.

J-Woww nude in Playboy, it ain't!

by Free Britney at . Comments

So much for being a "guidette."

Jersey Shore star Jenni Farley, a.k.a. JWoww, admitted on Fox's Strategy Room Tuesday that she and co-star Nicole Polizzi, a.k.a. Snooki, aren't even Italian.

She may be the "Guidette Princess of F*%king Poughkeepsie" (one of our favorite Jersey Shore quotes), but Snooki is predominantly of ... Chilean descent.

So f'ing weak. Now we don't want to see Snooki nude anymore. THG NOTE: We never did, nor can we see what the appeal is there. Sorry, Emilio Masella.

J-Woww says she personally is Spanish and Irish. Spain and Ireland are rolling in their collective graves, while Italians everywhere are rejoicing at this.

Snooki is not really Italian. Nor is she tall.

In truth, the ancestry of these idiots (or anyone) doesn't matter. They're all Americans and we watch because they're lovably trashy. But why promote it so falsely?

The MTV hit show was slammed by Italian-Americans for perpetuating "negative stereotypes," hyping up its "guidos" and "guidettes" in previews and interviews.

"If you replace Italian-Americans with any other ethnic group, would they use such a pejorative term to promote the show?" the president of one group posited.

Basically they bash Italians and aren't even Italians themselves. Classy.

Such a disappointment. We feel so used. At least we know Heidi Montag's plastic surgery is real ... though by definition her boobs, face, etc., are fake. Irony.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Get ready for a second season packed with house music, fist-pumping, trash bags, fighting with strangers on the boardwalk, and hilarious Jersey Shore quotes.

MTV's only newest hit show is coming back for Season 2!

The network, which had been engaged in some heated negotiations with the Jersey Shore cast, will run it back this summer with all the original stars on hand.

We can't wait for a new dose of DJ Pauly D, The Situation, Snooki, J-WOWW, Sammi, Ronnie and Vinny, although it looks like they'll be in a different setting.

That's right, Seaside Heights lucked out. The gang will “escape the cold Northeast and find themselves in a new destination,” MTV said in a Friday statement.

Warm weather locales, consider yourself forewarned.

The Cast of Jersey Shore

FIST-PUMP! All seven of these guidos and guidettes will be back on MTV.

MTV continued: “Our audience fell in love with Jersey Shore and its amazing cast who have really grown together as a family. That bond gives the show its heart."

"We’re thrilled to reunite these friends to bring fans what they love - laughs, love, drama and of course, GTL,” the network's president said in the announcement.

That would be gym, tanning and laundry - the daily routine of The Situation.

In case you didn't get your fix throughout December/January, MTV will broadcast the Jersey Bowl, a February 7 marathon of Season 1, on Super Bowl Sunday.

Jenni 'JWOWW' Farley Biography

JWOWW Picture Jenni Farley is a cast member on the hit show Jersey Shore. The program debuted in late 2009 and the cast members are wicked trashy, but... More »
Full Name
Jenni 'JWOWW' Farley
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