by Free Britney at

The Jersey Shore cast needs to hit the beach or something. They're looking kind of aimless in these photos from a recent day out and about in Miami.

Seriously, they look bored. It must not be the same in South Beach without the sights and sounds of Karma and Ronnie pummeling boardwalk idiots.

This awesome photo of Snooki and J-Woww got us thinking, though: Which one of the Jersey Shore cast members would you rather ... you know?

One is a HGH-riddled behemoth with enormous fake boobs. The other may or may not be auditioning for Little People, Big World later this year.

Both fake tan and wear ridiculous outfits. So who's it gonna be?!

J-Woww and Snooki Picture

Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi or Jenni "J-Woww" Farley: Who'd you rather ...

 

Click to enlarge more pics of the cast (including Angelina Pivarnick, the self-proclaimed Kim Kardashian of Staten Island, and Ronnie Magro) in Miami this week ...

  • Ron Magro
  • Snookie Pic
  • Snooki and J-Woww Photo
  • Big and Small
  • Angelina and Snooki
  • The Kim K. of Staten Island

[Photos: Fame Pictures]

Tags: , , , , ,

by Free Britney at

"I'd do it every year if I could." J-Woww on breast implants, to Harper's Bazaar.

Quotes like that give you some idea of what the fashion mag was up against when it sought to turn Jersey Shore cast members into elegant, classy ladies.

If you never saw show, however, you might be fooled. Jenni (J-Woww) Farley, Sammi Giancola (Sweetheart) and Nicole Polizzi (Snooki) clean up nice ...

The Jersey Shore Girls

FISH OUT OF WATER: The girls attempt to look refined.

In the magazine, Snooki, J-Woww and Sammi get etiquette lessons from New York City socialite Tinsley Mortimer for reasons unknown. Will they take?

"I know a couple things about manners," Snooki declares. "I just don't use them."

There you have it. You can take the princess out of Poughkeepsie, but you can't make the princess any less trashy or have her put on underwear.

Click to enlarge more J-Woww, Sammi and Snooki pictures ...

  • Jersey Shore Charm School
  • Jenni, J-Woww
  • Sammi Giancola Pic
  • Elegant Snooki
  • Classy Jersey Babes

[Photos: Harper's Bazaar]

Tags: , , , , ,

by Free Britney at

The cast of MTV's Jersey Shore has brought its GTL, bed-hopping, first-pumping antics to Miami's South Beach for Season 2, but that's just the beginning.

Lest you thought Seaside Heights, N.J., was a thing of the past, the gang will be returning to the Garden State - in the very same house - don't you worry.

They just got a jump on Season 2 in Miami because of the weather.

"Once the boardwalk heats back up, the series will return to the Jersey Shore to complete the season," MTV said, noting that the season starts July 29.

The Cast of Jersey Shore

All the lovable guidos and guidettes will beat up the beat again: Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, Paul "DJ Pauly D" DelVecchio, Jenni "JWoww" Farley, Sammi Giancola, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro and Vinny Guadagnino.

Also returning? Angelina Pivarnick, a.k.a. the random girl who bailed after like one episode, and a.k.a. Kim Kardashian of Staten Island (self-proclaimed).

The network is also exploring adding new cast members to the second season or more likely the third season of the surprise reality hit. Filming dates in Seaside are July 1-September 19, so it looks like a third season is in the works.

"It's like a big family reunion," said Tony DiSanto, MTV's president of programming. "We couldn't be more excited that the whole group is together in Miami and that they'll be going back to Jersey when the sun heats up."

Also heating up? Tempers. MTV worries that more peeps will pick fights with Snooki, Ronnie and company just to get on TV (the stars will likely oblige).

The network has requested additional police presence for the cast. According to the Seaside Heights P.D., MTV wants 8-10 off-duty officers - their tab.

Tags: , , , , , , ,

by Free Britney at

Who knew Ronnie and J-Woww could even read? Not us, but both Jersey Shore stars apparently signed a book deal! - and talk about a page-turner!

Never Fall In Love At the Jersey Shore, a Guido's guide to how to maintain the oh-so distinctive Jersey Shore look and attitude, brought to you by two of the show’s degenerate houseguests, J-Woww and Ronnie, is due out sometime this year.

And you wonder by the publishing industry is in decline. Then again, Lauren Conrad wrote a New York Times best-seller, so you never know, right?

  • Ronnie (Jersey Shore)
  • JWOWW Picture

Ronnie and J-Woww: Soon-to-be authors.

For reasons very much unclear, St. Martin’s Press enlisted Jenni Farley and Ronnie Magro to break down Shore living. We assume that includes a guide to:

  • GTL (Gym, Tanning, Laundry)
  • FHTB (Feverish Hot Tub Boinking)
  • FGFB (Flaunting Giant Fake Boobs)
  • BUEFN (Breaking Up Every F*$kin' Night)
  • GABTCAMGSAGIFWRJOTB (Getting Arrested By The Cops After Making Gay Slurs and Getting in Fights with Random Jackasses on the Boardwalk)

No doubt the advice will be something to cherish for life.

Tags: , ,

by Free Britney at

The Jersey Shore cast just screams high fashion, doesn't it?

Somehow, the Ed Hardy-wearing, fake-tanned likes of J-Woww, Snooki, and Sammi and their tight "going out" top glory are featured in Harper's Bazaar.

In related news, The Situation will be guest-editing Vogue.

You have to give the girls credit for cleaning up nicely, though, even if Snookz can't pose for a picture without wearing that ridiculous grin (or something).

Classy Jersey Girls

DOLLS: The women of Jersey Shore get classy.

Perhaps J-Woww summed up the experience best on Twitter: “Harper Bizaar shoot in 6 hrs and can’t sleep :( ... Omg to the Harper’s Bazaar Shoot. Prior to the show I never purchased one mag/ now I’m in a lot of em! I buy 10 a wk! They’re addicting!”

So true.

All three of the ladies shown above will appear in the magazine, and at least for their standards, they look (dare we say it) pretty classy in the process.

J-Woww nude in Playboy, it ain't!

Tags: , , , ,

by Free Britney at

So much for being a "guidette."

Jersey Shore star Jenni Farley, a.k.a. JWoww, admitted on Fox's Strategy Room Tuesday that she and co-star Nicole Polizzi, a.k.a. Snooki, aren't even Italian.

She may be the "Guidette Princess of F*%king Poughkeepsie" (one of our favorite Jersey Shore quotes), but Snooki is predominantly of ... Chilean descent.

So f'ing weak. Now we don't want to see Snooki nude anymore. THG NOTE: We never did, nor can we see what the appeal is there. Sorry, Emilio Masella.

J-Woww says she personally is Spanish and Irish. Spain and Ireland are rolling in their collective graves, while Italians everywhere are rejoicing at this.

Snooki is not really Italian. Nor is she tall.

In truth, the ancestry of these idiots (or anyone) doesn't matter. They're all Americans and we watch because they're lovably trashy. But why promote it so falsely?

The MTV hit show was slammed by Italian-Americans for perpetuating "negative stereotypes," hyping up its "guidos" and "guidettes" in previews and interviews.

"If you replace Italian-Americans with any other ethnic group, would they use such a pejorative term to promote the show?" the president of one group posited.

Basically they bash Italians and aren't even Italians themselves. Classy.

Such a disappointment. We feel so used. At least we know Heidi Montag's plastic surgery is real ... though by definition her boobs, face, etc., are fake. Irony.

Tags: , ,

by Free Britney at

Get ready for a second season packed with house music, fist-pumping, trash bags, fighting with strangers on the boardwalk, and hilarious Jersey Shore quotes.

MTV's only newest hit show is coming back for Season 2!

The network, which had been engaged in some heated negotiations with the Jersey Shore cast, will run it back this summer with all the original stars on hand.

We can't wait for a new dose of DJ Pauly D, The Situation, Snooki, J-WOWW, Sammi, Ronnie and Vinny, although it looks like they'll be in a different setting.

That's right, Seaside Heights lucked out. The gang will “escape the cold Northeast and find themselves in a new destination,” MTV said in a Friday statement.

Warm weather locales, consider yourself forewarned.

The Cast of Jersey Shore

FIST-PUMP! All seven of these guidos and guidettes will be back on MTV.

MTV continued: “Our audience fell in love with Jersey Shore and its amazing cast who have really grown together as a family. That bond gives the show its heart."

"We’re thrilled to reunite these friends to bring fans what they love - laughs, love, drama and of course, GTL,” the network's president said in the announcement.

That would be gym, tanning and laundry - the daily routine of The Situation.

In case you didn't get your fix throughout December/January, MTV will broadcast the Jersey Bowl, a February 7 marathon of Season 1, on Super Bowl Sunday.

Tags: , , , , , , ,

by Free Britney at

All good things must come to an end. So, too, must the first season of Jersey Shore, and The Hollywood Gossip has all the action recapped below as only we can.

Last night's ninth and final episode of the MTV hit's inaugural run was somewhat subdued and sentimental (seriously), which wasn't a bad thing. Let's get to it:

Pauly D's girl says the gang is "acting like Israelis." Vinny's reply: "Israelis are like [machine gun noises, gestures]." Equal opportunity stereotypes! Minus 3.

Vinny, Pauly D, and Mike head out for some male bonding. Plus 4, because this surprisingly normal behavior makes them actually look like chill dudes. Almost.

Sammi bails Ronnie out of jail after his latest fight. They hug. He says he's not sorry he hit the guy, only that he got caught, blah, blah, we're bored. Minus 5.

Upset over guys, Snooki decides to dance away the pain. Solo. In broad daylight. People stare as if this were the first Oompa Loompa in a white, leopard print mini dress they've ever seen break it down in front of a camera crew. Plus 6.

Snooki Dance Party

One-woman dance party. Snooki stizzyle.

Pauly D: "We stayed boys throughout this whole thing. This bond that we shared brings us together and no one can ever take that away from us, ever. Like, we take that with us for life, this bond ... That was deep." It sure was. Plus 4.

Sammi and Ronnie go out on a date, "somewhere out of Seaside ... getting away from it all." In Belmar, an even trashier location 17 miles up the coast. Minus 3.

The pair toasts each other and their future, post-Shore. Actually kinda sweet. Plus 2.

Poor Snooki whines about guys some more. Geez, give it a rest, girlfriend, Minus 7.

We learned last night that Vinny thinks Pauly D is "ridiculously, ridiculously good looking." Pauly D's look to the camera said it all. He's the ultimate guido! Plus 9.

Snooki and The Situation go hot-tubbing. We're scared for what's coming. Minus 5.

Snooki and Mike Make Out

The Situation and Snooki suck face. We're as grossed out as you.

Revolting as watching Snooki maul The Situation might seem, he was actually being genuinely nice to her, before, during after making out. Plus 6 for his sensitive side.

Mike: "Next thing you know, Snooks' clothes just started coming off!" No no no no no. Fortunately, he puts a stop to it, because they're like siblings, so only Minus 3.

Cue season-ending montage:. Fights. Hook-ups. Pickles. Abs. Fights. Hair spray. Fist-pumping. Fights. Hot tub action. Arrests. Laughs. Fights. The Situation. Plus 5.

TOTAL: +10! SEASON: +56! We're ready for a break from the Shore, but we also can't want for it to return. Follow the link for a full season of Jersey Shore quotes!

Tags: , , , , , ,

by Free Britney at

Two episodes of Jersey Shore? Back to back? Double fist-pump! The Hollywood Gossip has all the action from Seaside Heights recapped below as only it can.

Last night's seventh and eighth episodes of the season took the trashiness to a new level. Below, we award and deduct points as we deem fit. Let's get to it:

As the first hour gets going, Snooki catches the eye of an attractive non-guido, "Cowboy." He seems to take a liking to her for reasons unknown. Minus 3.

Mike is tapping some trashy chick in the hot tub when Snooki and the Cowboy break it up. That's right, Snooki just cock-blocked The Situation. Plus 10.

We thought the trash bag's friend coming to collect her was a dude. Minus 2.

Sammi lets Ronnie out of his cage for once. The Situation decides to stir up trouble by ratting him out for talking to some girl. D!ck move, Mike. Minus 4.

Duck Phone in Effect

Vinny makes a booty call. Duck phone stizzyle.

The Situation doesn't like Vinny mackin' in on his sister. He also doesn't like Vinny ditching her for the boss' girl Tanya. It's a total Catch (Situation?) 22. Plus 6.

Later, Mike pulls a robbery on Vinny's fake-breasted butter face trash bag, leaving V stunned. What a c*ck, but Even, because you gotta respect the execution.

As if Mike hadn't alienated enough people in one night, he refuses to walk JWoww home from the club because he's workin' on the nightly trash bag. Minus 5.

Plus 10 for JWoww pimp-slapping his ass at home.

Pauly D must confront a Stage 5 Clinger in some Israeli girl that is stalking him. Minus 7, because deep down he was into it and this was kind of wasted time.

Plus 3 for the hilarious phone impression of The Situation in an attempt to throw her off the trail, though. This guy's got The Situation quotes down pat.

Situation and Pauly

The Situation was cruisin' for a bruisin' last night.

Bored and determined to become the most hated man in N.J., Mike plants pickles around Snooki's room. Minus only 1, because a pickle sucker might like that.

Ronnie confronts Mike about his crush on Sammi. Mike says it's obvious "Sammi has a crush on me... it goes back to the days of prehistoric kindergarten." Plus 12.

After some dudes make fun of Snooki (a recurring theme in New Jersey and across the world), Ronnie gets arrested after he takes exception and knocks one of 'em the f*%k out. Minus 15, because the 'roid rage is off the hook with this guy.

TOTAL: +4! SEASON: +46! We wonder if Mike is really just a caricature of Mike, and doing everything he can to act like a jackass. Either way, we'll totally buy it.

Tags: , , , , , ,

by Free Britney at

Yesterday, THG readers were given the challenge of writing the funniest caption for the picture appearing below. Mike Tyson. Jersey Shore. Endless material.

Your winner for this edition of our Caption Contest is chrissy.

The winning caption entry appears below. Click here to read the full list of submissions. Thank you to everyone for playing and good luck again next time!

Jersey Shore Cast and Mike Tyson

"Two metros, one midget and one tranny. By god, it must be Christmas!"

Tags: , , , , , ,