by Free Britney at

A special Monday episode of Jersey Shore certainly did not disappoint if you watch the show looking for hilarious one-liners, drama and drunken debauchery.

Why else would you watch Jersey Shore, come to think of it?

This week was a rare treat for fans, as we got to see Snooki's drunken arrest from this summer play out on TV. It was as epic as reports made it out to be.

As always, THG breaks down all the best Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's installment of the MTV show in its patented +/- recap below:

Absolute Worst Couple Ever

Oh. No. You. Didn't.

Sam's disdain for Snooki is surpassed by disdain for Ronnie. Man they suck. Minus 8. Watching these two argue may be worse than getting waterboarded.

Foreshadowing bigger, better things to come, Snooki chows down on a raw potato for no reason other than the amusement of housemates and fans. Plus 4.

Deena wants Situation. Snooki thinks she knows how she can make that happen ... by getting him into a threesome, then peacing out last minute. Minus 3.

Plus 16 for this gem from Mike, though: "Every guy dreams of having a threesome with two women, obviously. Maybe not with Deena and Snooki, but, um, I was going along with it only because it was a threesome."

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by Free Britney at

In addition to its usual Thursday night fiasco, Jersey Shore airs a special, all-new episode tonight on MTV. Will Sammi take a pounding like last week?

We wouldn't be surprised. No one likes her anymore. Not even Ronnie.

Tonight's episode purports to show the incident that got Snooki arrested this past summer. Girl got so plastered she face-planted in the sand ... in the middle of the freaking day. But Round 3 between Sammi and JWoww is always a possibility too.

Here's Round 2 from last Thursday - in slo-mo! Brace yourself ...

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by Free Britney at

Sammi Giancola has become that which she abhors.

Granted, as a miserable human being and very painful individual, Sammi Giancola abhors a great many things. But Angelina Pivarnick might top the list.

Having turned herself into the house pariah and destined to hitch a ride out of town before long, Sammi has morphed into Ange 2.0. It's sad and wonderful.

As always, THG breaks down all the best Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's installment of the "reality" show in its patented +/- recap below:

Fists of Fury

Last week's epic smackdown resumes in the opening moments.

Plus 16 for the resumption of the fight that ended last week's season premiere. Girl pulled out some of JWoww's hair. Not a wise move if you want to live.

The boys go to the gym. Having no friends, Sam tries to go with. Minus 5.

Ronnie and Sammi seem to hate Jersey Shore more than the faction of fans on THG's Facebook who want to GET THIS TRASH OFF THE AIR!!!!!!!!!! Plus 7.

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by Free Britney at

Who hides in a f*%king bush? Do we really even need to ask?

"We're laughing and having a good time, and all of a sudden, Nicole takes off," JWoww says of her BFF in a sneak preview clip from tonight's Jersey Shore.

After a rough night of partying with JWoww and Deena Cortese, Snooki decided she needed to get away, taking refuge in some shrubbery outside the club.

Looking back, Snooki seemed puzzled by her own behavior.

"Honestly, who hides in a bush? Only me. I will pee in a bush, poop in a bush, hide in a bush ... I do f--ked up s--t. I don't know what's wrong with me."

Neither do we, Snook. But that's part of the fun, right?

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by Free Britney at

"I'm just so excited to get back into my house, pop some bottles and hook up with my roommates." - Snooki

With those words, a new season of MTV's guiltiest, most unsanitary pleasure is upon us. We are back in Seaside Heights, N.J., and it feels like we never left.

As always, THG breaks down all the best Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's installment of the "reality" show in its patented +/- recap below:

Ooooooooga

We know, Sitch. We totally know.

Plus 50 for Deena Nicole Cortese's first 15 minutes at the house, shown above.

Why bother pretending these are normal people, though? Minus 9 for Snook briefing Deena on the roommates, like she hasn't seen every freaking episode.

Sammi on Deena: "I thought she was gonna be hot. I'm all taken aback." Girl, she's friends with Snooki. No offense, but come on. Minus 3 for cluelessness.

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by Free Britney at

JWoww promises plenty of drama when Jersey Shore returns for Season 3 next week. We're inclined to believe the fake-breasted, hot-headed star.

Frequent sparring partner Angelina Pivarnick may be gone, but according JWoww (Jenni Farley), tears and tirades are still to come on the MTV hit.

“There’s a whole lot of drama!” JWoww said, admitting that she is at the center of much of the action herself, thanks to her split with Tom Lippolis.

Where's the Costume?

BUSTIN' OUT: JWoww is so ready to this season.

“You will see that I go through a bad breakup, and I find new love,” Jenni says. “Everyone finally gets to see my side. I come out of my shell.”

JWoww’s pissed off ex publicly accused her of cheating - and cheating her out of royalties - last summer, but the starlet is hardly heartbroken.

Instead, she's turning her misadventures in love into the third season of her hit show, along with a dating advice book to be released next year.

At least she has Sammi Giancola to take out her frustrations on. Watch JWoww get into it with her roomie in the Jersey Shore Season 3 trailer!

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by Free Britney at

With 2010 drawing to a close, it is with much pride that THG unveils its 10 finalists for its prestigious, Fourth Annual Celebrity of the Year award.

These stars all gave us their best, their worst, their nude pics (sometimes) and their scandals (often). This month, THG honors that greatness.

After the Kardashians kame in at #5, we present an even more useless group as our Celebrity of the Year finalist #4 ... the Jersey Shore cast!

Snooki-Angelina Fight

Love 'em or hate 'em, they left their mark in 2010.

We know. They are idiots. You can spare the "what a bunch of losers with no future and bad values" bit, because we f*%king know. Maybe that's the appeal.

You can argue how undeserving they are of fame and fortune all day long, and you won't be wrong. But doesn't that apply to many "celebrities" nowadays?

In terms of raw impact on popular culture, few have had the impact of this gang of guidos and guidettes, who rose from obscurity to household names.

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by Free Britney at

Those hoping for major fireworks or knock-down, drag-out brawls on the Jersey Shore Season 2 reunion special last night came away sorely disappointed.

On some reality shows, the reunion special is the best part. It's when Teresa Giudice flips tables and labels Danielle Staub a prostitution whores. Not here.

These people are all flirting with prostitution whore status, too. Anyway, here's THG's usual +/- recap of last night. Aww yeah, reunion show recap YEAH!!

Ronnie and JWoww

There's no love lost between Ron and JWoww after The Note.

One could argue this show is depressing, and that its cast is a bunch of losers who reflect badly on our society. Or one could say It's T-shirt tiiiiiime!! Plus 7.

Could host Julissa Bermudez be more robotic? They should have gotten Angelina Pivarnick to host without the cast knowing. We'd pay to see that. Minus 5.

Speaking of Ange, Ronnie had one of the best Jersey Shore quotes last night: "How could you not smush if you get Fossil watch? And it was white!" Plus 9.

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by Free Britney at

After some skirmishes but a lack of fireworks, the second season of Jersey Shore went out with a thud. Not really a bang. Pauly D didn't even try to get it in!

There was a trip to the swamp, a feud between friends, a last hurrah at the club, and a great line or two, but "Back Into the Fold" was more filler than finale.

Below, THG breaks down the top Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's Season 2 finale in its patented +/- recap. Aww yeah, last recap YEAH!!

At the Glades

They really dragged this season of Jersey Shore out.

The gang heads to the Everglades. MTV is really milking the Florida thing. Minus 5.

Sitch scares JWoww with his frog legs. We mean actual dismembered frog parts, not his own legs, which are frog-like compared to that HGH-enhanced chest. Plus 4.

The restroom tryst starring the Situation during the last night at the club might have set the sanitary bar lower than ever. Not a small feat for Jersey Shore. Minus 6.

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by Free Britney at

Last night's Jersey Shore was titled "Deja Vu All Over Again." Fitting, as the plight of Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino continued for a second straight week.

After the self-proclaimed King of Pimps ran afoul of Snooki last week, he struck out with more girls, got the gang booted from da club and failed as a wingman.

We felt bad ... for Pauly D. Below, THG breaks down the top Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's episode of the show in its patented +/- recap ...

GTF Out!

Not DTF? Then GTF out!

Snooki becomes homesick after saying goodbye to her friend Ryder and contemplates leaving. Minus 7, because we know filming ends in a matter of days.

The Situation kicks a girl out of his bed after she tells him she doesn't want to hook up, leading to one of our favorite exchanges this season. Sitch: "Don't come over to somebody's house at f*%king 5 a.m. and expect to play checkers." Non-DTF Girl: "I never said anything about checkers, OLD MAN!" LOL. Guy is like 28. Plus 28.

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