by Free Britney at

Pranks were again off the proverbial hook this week on Jersey Shore, with The Situation getting the better of Deena and Snooki, but later getting served himself.

Also, Sammi's back. Freaking wonderful.

To be honest, though, it's probably best from a dramatic standpoint that the Horror of Hazlet returns. Two weeks of practical jokes is probably sufficient.

As always, THG has broken down some of the top Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from the episode in our trademark +/- recap below. Let's get to it:

Prank Master

DUCK PHONE REVENGE: Plant marshmallows around this house, will they ...

Ronnie's father visits Seaside to lend him some much-needed support. He must not watch the show, otherwise he'd arrive to officially disown his son. Minus 5.

That bike they won on the boardwalk is hella sweet. Plus 3.

Nick, whoever that is (we lose track of Snooki's conquests) doesn't call Snooki back, so she calls him. About 19 times in a row. Dudes really dig this. Minus 9.

Turns out Nick heard Snooki hooked up with both Gianni and Jeff, who are cousins. When you sleep with anything that moves, these things do happen. Plus 4.

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by Free Britney at

Time heals all wounds, and gives us perspective.

When it comes to reevaluating her time spent on Jersey Shore, Jenni "JWoww" Farley's says her biggest regret is throwing down with Sammi Giancola.

"I actually regret the fights that I did get in with Sam because I was in much the same position she was a few years ago," Farley said on Sirus radio Friday.

Jenni and Sammi

Referring to Sammi's relationship with Ronnie Magro, which reached its tipping point on the episode before last, JWoww is now more sympathetic.

"I had a boyfriend lie and cheat, and I did not believe my girlfriends when they told me," said JWoww, who also had her issues with Tom Lippolis.

Given that her most recent ex is trying to hawk JWoww nude pictures, she has her own problems. Fortunately, she won't take them out on Sam.

So basically, no more epic melees in the house like this ...

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by Free Britney at

In the aftermath of Sammi's exit from Jersey Shore last week, Ronnie was down in the dumps. The rest of the gang seemed focused more on absurd pranks.

Despite the title, "The Great Depression" was lighter fare than more recent episodes, with fewer epic meltdowns and more bathroom humor - quite literally.

As always, THG has broken down some of the top Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from the episode in our trademark +/- recap below. Let's get to it:

Old Underwear

THAT'S JUST WRONG: Pauly's discovery was dirty even by JS standards.

Right off the bat for using the show to pitch Britney Spears' new music video. Videos, on MTV? What a concept! Plus 5 in hopes that this pattern continues.

Despite being enraged every second she's around, Ronnie mopes now that Sammi's gone, whining non-stop in an all-out effort to grow a vagina. Minus 19.

Seriously, Jenni could take Ronnie. You can see the disgust on her face. Plus 4.

Sammi breaks down at home. Minus 10 for not making this a Sammi-free week, 'cause she'll be back wearing her one white skirt/black top outfit in no time.

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by Free Britney at

This week's Jersey Shore marked the departure of Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola. A permanent exist, we think - and hope - after the fight to end all fights.

As much as we aren't sorry to see her go, we'll give her this much - she went out in style after a blowout with Ronnie Magro that exceeded even their standards.

This comprised most of the memorable Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from the episode, as we've broken down, as always, in our trademark +/- recap below:

Sammi in Bed!

BOILING POINT: Ron wants Sam's stuff out of here ... with her on top of it.

Ronnie confronts The Situation for violating guy code. Funny how, like Sammi pointing the finger at JWoww and Snooki, they always blame others. Minus 2.

Able to see the big picture (take note, Ron), Sitch "takes the high road" and apologize to ensure it doesn't end in a brawl. Plus 6 for his surprising maturity.

He hits the boardwalk to cool off, unaware that Sammi is also heading there with Deena, who "loves single Sammi!" Who loves anything Sammi!? Minus 4.

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by Free Britney at

Snooki met a new juicehead, Pauly D made amends with his stalker, Ronnie bled out of a major orifice and broke up with Sam, again, on last night's Jersey Shore.

Perhaps most notable, though, was Snooki's marine biology expertise. Thanks to Nicole Polizzi, we now know why the ocean is salty. Nasty whale sperm, obvi.

This and many other memorable Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night are broken down by THG, as always, in our trademark +/- recap below:

Special Exam

SPECIAL EXAM: This is what it's like for viewers watching Sammi onscreen.

Things are good in the Jersey Shore house. It's just the calm before the storm, but there's actually no drama or active feud as the episode commences! Plus 8.

But, as Ronnie put it after a night of drinking ended with him puking like a madman as usual, it's always "one step forward and two step backs." Minus 5.

We've seen people on Jersey Shore getting probed a lot, but never like this. Plus 4.

Despite assurances that "I've dranken a lot more than I drank tonight," Ron's arse swells to the point that we're treated to the haunting visual above. Minus 11.

Snooki fell asleep with the dogs. A more apt scenario may never transpire. Plus 7.

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by Free Britney at

The gang invented a new means of extracting grenades, Deena revealed her inner freak, Sammi and Ronnie came to blows (again), Snooki bought a stripper pole and so much more in an epic night of Jersey Shore debauchery.

Just when you think they can't outdo themselves once again ...

THG breaks down all the best Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's installment of the MTV show, as always, in its trademark +/- recap below:

Grenade Whistle!

SOUND THE ALARM: Vinny rescues The Situation.

It's more like a Grenade Horn, but the Grenade Whistle is a fitting prop for a group of guys so dedicated to extracting the less-attractive females. Plus 8.

Of course, they could simply not bring said females back home, so ... Minus 7.

Vinny sounds the grenade whistle to rescue Sitch. What are friends for? Plus 4.

The Situation goes upstairs to borrow a condom from Ronnie and lets it slip to Sammi that Ronnie is talking to JWoww. What an instigator. Minus 6.

Snooki and Jenni bring home a couple of bitches. Pomeranians, looks like. Plus 5.

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by Free Britney at

Snooki and JWoww, a.k.a. Nicole Polizzi and Jenni Farley, will be facing some serious life challenges on their upcoming Jersey Shore spinoff pilot.

The question is ... are they up for them?

Effin Snooki

Mortgages, career decisions, toilet paper ... this is a reality show about coming of age. And coming on to hot guys while showing major cleave.

The "story line" for the new show, which is separate from Jersey Shore season four: Snooki moves in with JWoww, but cannot deal with real-life problems.

When they set out to buy a $1.5 million pad, for instance, they don't know what a mortgage is ... or how to write a check for that matter. They're not smart.

Eh, maybe we should cut 'em some slack, since they supposedly get distracted by a "hot mortgage broker." There's a contradiction in terms for you.

Conflict also erupts, according to a script obtained by TMZ, because Snooki "made a mess of the bathroom and didn't change the toilet paper."

She also "ate a ton of JWoww's food." Is there any way this won't be a hit?!

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Snooki and JWoww are, like, total BFFs, as last night's Jersey Shore proved. They're so tight, MTV wants them to film a spinoff pilot - this weekend!

The pilot episode will be shot in Long Island over the weekend. There's no special hook to the potential new show, it's just JWoww and Snooki solo.

Sort of like the Kardashians and their 19 spinoffs. It's a bit odd that MTV even wants a pilot. They sort of know what to expect from JWooki, no?

Snooki, Jenni

GRUESOME TWOSOME: Is MTV spinning off JWoww and Snooki?

This would be the second proposed spinoff of Jersey Shore, which is reportedly airing a fourth season as well. A Pauly D spinoff has already begun filming.

No word yet what Jenni and Nicole will be doing in the pilot, but we would bet a fair amount that there will be a lot of bronzer, boobs and buff dudes. Sweet.

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by Free Britney at

Last night on Jersey Shore, Snooki got sprung from the can but soon reverted to her old ways, while Ronnie's doppelganger was discovered at the club and JWoww's relationship problems with Tom Lippolis reached a tipping point.

A relatively tame episode after Snooki's epic bender, but a good one.

As always, THG breaks down all the best Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's installment of the MTV show in its trademark +/- recap below:

Lecture From Dad

WHAT A QUACK: Snooki's dad relays his disappointment.

He's disappointed, but Snooki's dad takes the whole thing pretty well. Guess when your daughter once sold alcohol at a party at your house, and a trashed guest crashed his car and died on the way home, you've seen worse. Minus 12.

When her father goes off on her with the tried and true "I'm not mad, just disappointed" bit, she says "It's not like I killed someone." This time. Plus 8.

His lecture was a real deterrent for at least 12 hours. Minus 4.

Wait, was JWoww wearing a "Free Snooki" tank top? Plus 7.

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by Free Britney at

Tom Lippolis, JWoww's ex-boyfriend and current legal adversary, was not shocked by footage of her hooking up with someone else on Monday's Jersey Shore.

In the most recent episode, she was still dating Tom at the time, but flirted endlessly with trucker (and now-boyfriend) Roger Williams just the same.

Vinny and Angelina

Lippolis, looking back, says he wasn’t surprised by her behavior.

TLipp and JWoww in happier times.

“It doesn’t surprise me that she was cheating on me, she has a really bad track record and our relationship was the longest she had ever had,” he said.

When JWoww ran into Roger Williams, she was living with Tom, but didn’t act like a relationship was a factor, immediately expressing feelings for him.

Tom Lippolis says his then-girlfriend insisted Roger was only a friend.

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