by Free Britney at . Comments

In light of the fact that Jionni got Snooki pregnant, and multiple cast members have their own spinoffs coming out, was this the last ever Jersey Shore?

That remains to be seen, but if Thursday night's Season 5 finale turned out to be a swan song, our favorite roving gang of guidos/ettes could do worse.

Between an epic prank war, laughter, tears, bittersweet emotions, hooking up with two lesbians and even a natural disaster, this chapter had it all in Seaside.

Let's recap the season finale of Jersey Shore, THG style!

Here's to the Shore

The Situation gets upset when he sees Pauly D and Vinny's latest prank. Like, for real upset. Like, it "really, really, really" pisses him off, he assures us.

And by that metric, Operation Inside Out was totes a success! Plus 14.

Eventually, Pauly helped Sitch bring all his "ruined" belongings back in the house. Because that's what friends do ... to help others quit whining. Plus 4.

Sitch tells Snook the gossip about Deena's sister. Guy cannot go 15 minutes without gossiping. Minus 10 for being lame, Plus 15 for entertaining fans.

Deena finds a new drink holder. Fake boobs are so utilitarian. Plus 9.

Vinny becomes "friends" with two lesbians at the club, and it seems they're into him too. It's as if he's died and gone to guido heaven. Plus 20.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

In light of the fact that Jionni LaValle got Snooki pregnant, this week's Jersey Shore seemed almost irrelevant ... and at the same time told us a lot.

Last night's show was filmed long before this bombshell, of course, but the buildup to Mike revealing his "master plan" had long been in the works.

Who were the winners and losers of this epic conflict?

Let's recap Jersey Shore, THG style, and find out!

Mike and Jionni

After The Situation tells Snooki's boyfriend that she cheated on him, the two shake hands. Mostly amicable, really. If only for a moment. Plus 11.

Even if Sitch's story is true, which it probably is, let's dace it, it's funny to watch Jionni and Snooki laugh about it as Mike expects drama. Plus 17.

For whatever reason, Mike decides he will go well every roommate what he did ... as if they care or he's doing it out of actual guilt. Minus 45.

When Vin porked Snook, he did not do this. Plus 8.

Snooki confronts The Situation, taking out aggression during a food fight. It's not as good as the Italy melee, but nevertheless, Plus 8.

The roommates watch as Snooki faces off against Sitch. Ever the protective figure, Pauly D tries to shield Deena from the fight. Plus 12.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Snooki is pregnant. Let's just get that out of the way right now. Jionni LaValle got effing Snooki pregnant. Amazing. The apocalypse cannot be too far behind.

Last night's episode was filmed long before this revelation, of course, and shows Snooki doing her usual drunken, moronic thing. But it puts it all in perspective.

Thursday, The Situation tried to stir the pot (shocker), the gang ran into a familiar face, someone went to the sex store and some idiot got arrested. Who was it?!

Let's recap Jersey Shore, THG style, and find out!

Snooki and Vinny Picture

Snooki and Vinny played coy about their flirtatious night out on the boardwalk, but nothing sexual happened. Phew. Could've been paternity test drama. Plus 9.

Deena, Pauly D, Mike and Vinny went to Jenk's, and they ran into ... Angelina Pivarnick! We forgot about her! Does this mean she's back on the show? Minus 10.

Nah. As Pauly said, they "kept it movin'." Oh, hey! Later! Plus 19.

The Situation strikes out with his girl. So does Pauly. Chalk it up to shyness and tampons, but it just wasn't happening for the dudes on this evening. Minus 8.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi and Jenni "JWoww" Farley recently began shooting their Jersey Shore spinoff ... which may or may not be derailed because Snooki is pregnant.

Possible baby Snookis aside, the girls recently dished to Us about the show:

"It's going to be me and Nicole living in a house: our ups and downs, relationships with our boyfriends who we love dearly, our families - who are insane! - and our friends who you really don't get to see on [Jersey Shore]," Jenni said.

JWoww and Snooki Pic

Viewers will see a different, reserved side of the two stars, Snook promised.

"We want it to be different than Jersey Shore, so it's not always going to at the club, drinking and partying. It's the first time I'm going to be on my own for real."

"You've only seen the party side of us. Now you'll see the sober side."

Yeah right. Check out a brief interview with the two stars post-jump:

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Yes, that actually happened on this week's Jersey Shore ... in one sense.

Last night's episode saw Roger knock some fool out, while the gang partook in a lot of water sports. Again, not as dirty as it sounds. Plenty idiotic, but not that dirty.

Later on, Lola the rabbit went to Karma and Ron got a mini-bike. Aww! How did everything else play out in Seaside Heights? Let's recap Jersey Shore, THG style!

Lola at Karma

Roger KO'd the dude who started messing with JWoww at the end of last week's episode. Not too much of a cliffhanger there ... have you seen Roger?! Plus 9.

Snooki gets upset when her boyfriend is too sick to smush. Jionni booting in the bathroom totally gets in the way of her "getting it in." Tragic news. Minus 4.

Meanwhile, Roger spends time with the roommates, talking and eating one of Mike's famous late-night sandwiches, instead of getting it in with J. Plus 10.

In an attempt to do something different, the producers Deena and Sammi persuaded the group to go to fishing, and crabbing. It is the shore, so Plus 6.

"I never thought I'd be excited about catching crabs." - Sitch. Too easy, but Plus 10.

The Situation helps Deena control the raft. Deena hits the water while Ronnie tries to deflate the raft. It's all pretty much a three-ring CF circus. Plus 7.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

The Jersey City, N.J., booze emporium next door to where Snooki and JWoww are filming their upcoming Jersey Shore spinoff apparently wants nothing to do with them.

So adamantly that they're banned from the store!

In a morally commendable, financially disastrous move, the place wants Snooki to steer completely clear ... even posting a sign on the door telling her to keep the hell out.

JWoww n' Snooki

Talk about turning away a couple of potentially loyal customers.

JWoww isn't welcome there either, so the ladies will have to find a place to buy their binge drinking supplies somewhere else. Somehow we imagine they'll manage.

The general manager at the wine shop said that while the sign says "No Snooki," it applies to her BFF too: "Even if Jwoww shows up at our door she will not be let in."

"The only thing they are good for is ridicule and amusement. There's no upside business wise; the potential downside is God knows what. Why feed the embarrassment?”

This guy is our new hero.

by Free Britney at . Comments

That's not a euphemism or double entendre. It was a legitimate question Thursday.

This week down at the glamorous and totally disease-free New Jersey Shore ... JWoww and Rog patched things up, Sitch and Paula grew closer, Deena "did sex" with some schmoe, while someone ate her and Snooki's special cake for Danny!

How did it all play out in Seaside Heights? Let's recap Jersey Shore, THG style!

Cake Thief

Deena and Snooki decide to make an apology cake for their boss. It's not a meatball cake, but it is made and frosted and decorated by them with love. Aww. Plus 12.

Once morning came, a corner of the cake was eaten! MIKE! Minus 6.

Deena ends up with cake in her face. Again, not a euphemism. Plus 4. After she says "I wanted him to get the full-on cake," Danny gives it to her, in the grill.

Cake or no cake, Snooki was late to work again, as she goes to the doctor to get treatment for her UTI. Minus 15 for us visualizing the state of Snooki's UT.

She's had 10 UTIs in the past year she says. How is that even ... Minus 10.

Snooki and JWoww accuse Situation of stealing a piece of the apology cake, but it turns out it was ... Pauly D! Minus 7 for the (unlikely) false accusation.

"Don't cook a cake in my house and expect me not to eat it," he says. Fair. Plus 5.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

This week on the Jersey Shore, the "family" continued to experience all kinds of ups and downs. Vinny fell for a lesbian, Pauly acquired a new stalker, JWoww fought with Roger, Snooki acted ridiculously and no one could figure Mike out.

Pretty standard stuff, really. We are happy/sad to report that no one threw down!

How did it all play out in Seaside Heights? Let's recap Jersey Shore, THG style!

The Duck Phone

The Situation gets the dirt from his brother on his recent date with Deena's sister. Yep, that happened. As if this crew weren't incestuous enough. Minus 12.

"The real Mike is back and I love watching all the $h!t he does." - Pauly, after Mike decides he's going all out to start some $h!t again. Game on, brah. Plus 5.

Mike's plan to CRUSH Snooki by having his boy The Unit tell Jionni all about Sitch and Snook's sexy times failed because Unit was in Miami. Too bad? Plus 11.

Snooki tries to hang out with The Situation. Always a dangerous move. Minus 3.

Vinny juggles two girls at the bar. Good to be back, right? Plus 11.

Deena keeps Vinny's other girl occupied. Wing-meatball! Plus 8.

The more "hotass" of the two is Nicki, who is a lesbian. Vinny tried to get it in anyway, and Plus 7 for the effort, but Minus 14 for delusions. She bounced.

JWoww ducks out early, hella annoyed that Roger was dodging her calls even though he was down the street on the boardwalk. We smell drama. Minus 9.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

After Hoboken passed, Jersey City, New Jersey's second largest city, is rolling out the reality TV welcome mat for Snooki and JWoww of Jersey Shore fame.

Jersey City is just a few miles south of Hoboken and across the Hudson River from New York City, so it's essentially the same locale for the classy gals.

Permits were issued for filming a Jersey Shore spinoff starring Snooki and JWoww. Filming is expected to begin this month in the Grove Street Path area.

JWoww and Snooki Pic

Nearby Hoboken last week denied the permit, citing safety and quality of life concerns for residents of the city. Its neighbor turned out to be more receptive.

Jersey City Mayor Jerramiah Healy says he believes the show is an opportunity to promote the city, and can be pulled off without adverse effects on taxpayers.

City spokeswoman Jennifer Morrill says the cast and crew must obey all laws and that producers must foot the bill for police to reduce impact on the public.

Fellow cast member Pauly D's spinoff, The Pauly D Project, is set to premiere March 29. As far we we know, the Snooki-JWoww project remains untitled.

by Free Britney at . Comments

This week, the Jersey Shore gang was intact again - "Vinny's home, bitches!" - but the joy of being a family again quickly gave way to a new set of problems.

Both mental and physical.

Snooki legit peed herself (and worse), while Mike began acting very un-Mike-like and even level-headed JWoww experienced some drama with her BF Roger.

How did it play out after the team got Vinny back and returned to throw it town in Seaside Heights? Come along as we recap Jersey Shore, THG style!

Snooki Crotch Shot

Vinny unpacks after returning to the shore house. Good to be back! Plus 7.

Snooki was so excited she "legit" peed herself on the dance floor and rushed off into the restroom to grab some body spray for her kooka area (above). Minus 70.

Deena gets quasi-electrocuted trying to fix her hair extensions. Plus 9.

The following day, Snooki made sure to put on two pairs of underwear in case she had another "accident." In the daytime. Snooki is officially a toddler. Plus 14.

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Jenni 'JWOWW' Farley Biography

JWOWW Picture Jenni Farley is a cast member on the hit show Jersey Shore. The program debuted in late 2009 and the cast members are wicked trashy, but... More »
Full Name
Jenni 'JWOWW' Farley
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