You knew there would be some drama this week on Jersey Shore.
After all, Vinny Guadagnino peaced out of the house and half the crew didn't even know yet, so the reality of their "soul" returning to Staten Island was yet to sink in.
There were also two birthdays and two fools celebrating Meatball Day, which should really become some sort of holiday from now on, at least at The Hollywood Gossip.
How did it all play out? Come along as we recap Jersey Shore, THG style!
Deena breaks down when she hears about Vinny. "He was like, my soul," she says. Really? Your soul? Do you even know what that is? We love Vin but Minus 7.
"I'm going to smash this tattoo chick in my man Vinny's bed tonight, in honor of him leaving the house." - Pauly D with one of the best Jersey Shore quotes to date. Plus 30.
"It is what it is, I'm used to it," says a mature Jenni, who HAS to be the one that implodes at some point, right? She's been way too stable of late. Still, Plus 15.
The Situation speaks Italian with Pauly D's girl. Impressive? Sleazy? Eh, Wash.
Vinny returns home to his family. His mom greets him not with joy and warmth, but by telling him to go to bed. Wasn't expecting the cameras, probably. Plus 5.
Isn't that why he came back, too? To be told what to do by his mom? Minus 5.
"Meatball Day" ends badly for Deena and Snooki. Plus 20, because with those two, it can't possibly end "well" in the conventional sense. They go hard. Respect.
Deena rips out her hair extensions. You mean she's not all-natural?! Minus 10.