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"I don't even know. Who knows, dog. That's the first time. That's the first time that has happened. But I'm a trooper! I'm The Situation, man!" - The Situation

What was Mike referring to in one of our favorite Jersey Shore quotes from last night? Hooking up with a chick at the club that was probably a dude, of course.

These things happen down at the shore. What else happened on Thursday's episode? Let's find out in THG's exclusive point-system recap of "Not So Shore" ...

The Situation and a Transvestie

The Situation works his game. With a man.

After hooking up with Vinny, Snooki says it was like "putting a watermelon in a pinhole." Umm. Minus 12 for the imagery of a watermelon and Snooki's pinhole.

Vinny likely contracts pink eye (again). Pauly D's diagnosis: "Your eyebrows are so bushy, they collect so much more bacteria than normal eyes would." Plus 9.

Speaking of Pauly D, dude got so freaking hammered he had to be helped into bed. Who does this guy think he is, Ronnie? Wash, because we still love Pauly.

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"I'm definitely not a saint. If I walked into a church, I'd probably burst into flames to be honest with you ... But I think that I can probably talk my way out of the hole I dug. I mean, how deep is a grave?" - Ronnie Magro

The great thing about this line, one of many great Jersey Shore quotes from last night's episode, is that Ron probably really believed it. Sammi is that pathetic.

Did he succeed? Let's find out in THG's Jersey Shore point-system recap ...

Situation Creepin'

The Situation works his game during an MVP night.

During Gay Pride Week in Miami, JWoww and Snooki were down to celebrate: "Gay Pride, yay!" exclaimed Snooki. Plus 2 for not seriously offending anyone there!

After defending her evening out by saying those guys are not attracted to vagina, Snook dispatched Emilio Masella for good. JWoww clapped, as did we. Plus 7.

The Situation brings home two girls, but had invited two others over earlier. Now it's a 4-on-3 Situation in this MVP night ... with one grenade! Boom! Minus 5.

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Guess JWoww wasted little time moving on from Tom Lippolis.

Jenni Farley from Jersey Shore is dating a new man, Roger Williams, with whom she shared a romantic morning today, dining out at the Jersey Shore Cafe.

JWoww, dressed in Rush Couture and denim shorts, shared a kiss with Roger as she returned home. Here's a look at the reality star and her new guido ...

  • JWoww and Roger Williams
  • Roger Williams Picture

JWoww and her new love. [Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

No clue if Roger Williams meets Jenni's criteria of taking multiple growth hormones, but he looks to be her type. Hopefully he'll be on the show at some point.

Click here for the best Jersey Shore quotes from every episode of the first two seasons to date. The fist-pumping MTV smash hit is all-new tonight at 10 p.m.

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Last night's Jersey Shore paled in comparison to last week's for the simple fact that the tired act that is Ronnie and Sammi overshadowed everything else.

Don't get us wrong, there were plenty of absurd scenes and Jersey Shore quotes to make it worth our while, but these two need to get their act together.

If Sammi weren't so painful, maybe we'd be more sympathetic to how Ron treats her. Even her own friends seem to be somewhat on the fence about it.

What should have been the highlight of the week - Snooki and Emilio - took a back seat to played-out drama even their castmates are sick of by now.

How did it all go down in Season 2, Episode 4? THG's got it covered ...

When Snooki called boyfriend Emilio Masella in last week's episode, she and Vinny were up to no good. Now the gorilla juicehead turns the tables. Plus 5.

Guys Suck!

Snooki & Co. to all guys: You're douchebags and we hate you!

Drunk out of his mind, Emilio calls, mistakes JWoww for voicemail, tells Snooks he f*%ked some girl, then says he was kidding. Great joke man. Minus 6.

Snooki: "Guys are douchebags and I hate them all. They don't know how to treat women ... I feel like this is why the lesbian rate is going up in this country." Plus 3.

J-Woww to Emilio: "I will call the cops on you if you call again or I will take the next flight out to f*%kin' New York to beat your ass." She's probably serious. Plus 4.

The anti-Emilio tirade concludes with J-Woww calling him a "drunk skank with no job" (LOL) and Snooki telling out a Home Alone style scream. A tad much. Wash.

Enraged, the girls all break $h!t. Not cool, but we've been there, so Minus only 2. The female empowerment team now turns its attention from Emilio to Ronnie.

Will anyone in the house snitch on Ronnie? Does Sammi have a right to know? Does anyone care? Minus 18 because ... no. But Plus 4 for the use of "motorboat."

Awwww How Sweet

Ronnie and Sammi share a tender moment in between breakups.

We'll say this for Ronnie Magro: He is definitely going all in, cuddling with his lame girl and whispering sweet nothings one minute, dropping c- and f-bombs and flirting with alcohol poisoning the next. No in between. Plus 6.

Ron, in a rare moment of sobriety: "I don't like tests, that's why I didn't go to college... don't test me, 'cause I will fail a majority of the time." Yes you will. Minus 4

Angelina farts in Snooki's face. On television. Minus 3.

The Situation: "You need to on your tip-top game with your GTL to stay FTD to get the girls to DTF in MIA ... say that 5 times fast." Translation, anyone? Plus 9.

Gelato shop gems: Vinny asking if there's a butter face flavor, and this from Pauly D: "She had summer teeth. Some are like this... some are like that." Plus 8.

Snooki and J-Woww write an "anonymous" note to Sammi. On a reality show. Minus 12. They did think far enough ahead to write "breasts" in the note - Snooki and JWoww would say "t!ts" so she'll totally never suspect them - so Plus 5.

TOTAL: -1. SEASON: +62.

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Creepin': adj. 1. To sneak about unnoticed and in mysterious fashion; typically but not necessarily to convey the message that one is a sexual being. 2. To cheat.

Last night on Jersey Shore, Ronnie continued his sleazy, drunken antics, Angelina sort of made up with peeps and Vinny may have done the unthinkable.

How did it all play out in episode three of season two? THG's got it covered ...

Steamed over her "brother" being slapped in the face three times. JWoww threatens to beat up Angelina since Pauly can't. What are sisters for? Plus 3.

Angelina Pivarnick claims to not remember what she did to Pauly D. Sorry, but these people are clearly not blacked out drunk EVERY night. Minus 4.

Angeliner

Angelina wears her trademark sneer, and sunglasses indoors.

"I didn't know being drunk and people making mistakes was that bad..." - Angelina. Hmm. She has a point. That's pretty much the premise of the show. Plus 2.

Vinny gets his fade on ... a different kind of fade. He and Ronnie go to the 'hood for haircuts. Vin is thoroughly entertaining there and at the gelato shop. Plus 5.

Snooki rocks the "Old Snook Look" for a night out, catching Vinny's eye. The poof and cleave can only foreshadow bad things. Pauly D: "Who knows." Minus 7.

The Situation is usually The Instigation, but this week was The Mediation, convincing the girls to give Angelina a chance if she "mans up." What a uniter! Plus 6.

Vinny on J-Woww: "Albert Einstein should rewrite his laws of physics and rework them around Jennie's t!ts." Point taken, but they're kinda gross, so Minus 4.

Now, for the obligatory Ronnie-Sammi drama. Minus 12, since it's both predictable and pathetic that he was creepin' at the club, then crawled in bed with her.

Did I Bang Snooki Last Night?

Did Vinny do the unthinkable? He's about to wonder the same.

Late night, Snooki is plastered, tries to call boyfriend Emilio Masella and breaks a bunch of $h!t, then ends up in bed with Vinny. Plus 11, if only for the fact that Emilio just learned this happened from the show and wants to fight Vinny.

The following night, it's guys night out: MVP style. Mike, Vinny, Pauly. The MVPs of MIA, supporting the GFF (Grenade-Free Foundation). Acronym overkill, perhaps, but we gotta admire the creativity, and they are the MVPs tonight. Plus 19.

Pauly, on Angelina wanting to tag along: "It's not MVPA." Plus 3.

Their debauchery got off to a great start by ditching Angelina when she turned around for one second, but ended up with a jacuzzi full of grenades and a game of catch with a padded bra insert. How do we even evaluate that? Eh, Plus 11.

Ronnie ditches Sam once again, gets drunk and starts creepin' on random hoes. Minus 8. Snooki and JWoww want to put an end it. Do it, girls! Plus 4.

TOTAL: +29. SEASON: +63. Follow this link for the night's Jersey Shore quotes!

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As Jersey Shore goes, Season 2, Episode 2 ("The Hangover") was not among the greatest. How could it be with the primary focus on Sammi and Ronnie?

While Ronnie pretended not to remember what he did the night before, Sammi gave him the cold shoulder ... until she came around for the 293rd time.

Also heavily featured in this week's episode? Angelina Pivarnick. Like Sammi and Ronnie, she really needs an intervention, or a just ticket home ASAP.

At a certain point it's just boring and annoying. Meltdowns are supposed to be fun to watch, right? Though we suppose JWoww may still throw down.

Anyway, here's The Hollywood Gossip's scientific plus-minus recap ...

Season 2 Jersey Shore Cast

Ronnie, on hooking up with land mines and grenades in the premiere: "Yo, I was doin' mad work tonight bro! Mad work!" Yo, you're a douche, bro! Minus 8.

Vinny says one of Ronnie's hookups plays tight end for the Giants. Plus 4.

Pauly D coins another gem: "Ronnie's new nickname is IFF. The I'm F*%ked Foundation. He's a client and the president!" Plus 7, because it's funny and true.

For a girl nicknamed Sweetheart, Sammi really isn't that nice. Minus 16. We're just saying. These girls are all catty, but she's miserable and not even funny.

JWoww at the tranny store: "The sex shop is perfect. Perfect ... It's my scene. And when I get into my scene I get into my clothes." What clothes? Minus 6.

After buying a $395 pair of sunglasses, Snooki walks around blind, seeks pickles, ruins dinner, and does a half-ass job cleaning it up. Standard. Plus 9.

Delivery guy: What's the name? Mike: Situation. S-i-t-u-a-t-i-o-n. Plus 5.

Snooki and JWoww confront Angelina about smack-talk pertaining to their friends/boyfriends. JWoww threatens violence many, many times. Plus 13.

Sammi and Ronnie Pic

Give it a rest, you guys. Seriously.

Pauly D's new boss is concerned about his hair. His response: "This hair ain't movin' my dude. 150 miles per hour on the highway on a street bike. Doesn't move. What makes you think it's gonna move in a gelato shop?" Amen. Plus 14.

The Situation introduces the shirt-before-the-shirt concept: "We have an abundance of wife beaters ... we wear before we go out. Then it's T-shirt time. Right before we go out we take off the tank and then we put on our fresh shirt." Plus 11.

At the club, The Situation gets bitten while making out with a panty-less drunk girl. Happens to the best of us on Thursday nights. Hang in there. Minus 4.

Pauly D hooks up with a girl who, according to Angelina, is married. She confronts him about this, apparently unaware that 1. She used to date a married guy herself, and 2. Pauly D obviously doesn't care, girl! Chill! Plus 7.

After professing her love to Pauly D (seriously), Ange proceeds to SLAP HIM. Minus 19 for being generally insane, and Minus 12 more for this being the most pathetic slap ever. Everyone hates you anyway ... put your back into it!

Plus 3 for next week's promo. After this week, it should be hilariously awkward.

TOTAL: +8. SEASON: +34. Follow this link for the night's Jersey Shore quotes!

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While Ronnie and Sammi bicker on the Jersey Shore premiere (and every episode) Jenni Farley, a.k.a. J-Woww, seemed to be the anomaly on the MTV hit.

She's been in a steady relationship. But now she and boyfriend Tom Lippolis are reportedly done after pics surfaced showing her kissing some other dude.

“I am f*%king beside myself, but am ready to move on,” an upset Lippolis said.

“There has been a lot of pressure on both of us lately but she recently told me, ‘I never cheated on you and I will never leave you for someone else.’"

"She just lost the best thing that ever happened to her.” As for his next girlfriend, Tom Lippolis says he's “looking for a girl who wants the real thing.”

JWoww is Right

SHORE SCORE: J-Woww's last one got her dumped, apparently. We imagine she'll rebound by taking some HGH and partying. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Ooh, harsh parting words for J-Woww, but did she bring it upon herself?

Farley was spotted out on the town last weekend with a 35-year-old gent named Roger from New Jersey, and was seen kissing him Tuesday night at a club.

As he grapples with the sudden end of his relationship with Farley, Tom is making his own moves to put the past behind him as quickly as possible:

“I am in the best shape of my life and am ready for a new relationship. I’ve already put on Facebook that I am single and I’m getting hits like crazy.”

Speaking of that social networking avenue, become a fan of THG on Facebook!

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The greatness/awfulness that is Jersey Shore is back. As advertised, Season 2 features a new shore (pity Miami Beach), but the same crazy. And then some.

We were concerned that the cast's celebrity status would diminish the show's luster, but the genuineness of these characters (for better or worse) was there.

So was the entertainment. While predictable, it was great to have The Situation, Snooki, Pauly D, J-Woww, Ronnie, Sammi, Vinny and that other girl back.

Here's The Hollywood Gossip's scientific plus-minus recap ...

En route to pick up the Sitch, Pauly D sums up Northeast winters: "Can't do nothin' in this weather. Can't tan, can't creep ... Girls stay in the house." Plus 5.

A dark brown Snooki laments that she no longer tans since "Obama put a 10% tax on tanning." Pretty sure that doesn't take effect until like 2014. Minus 4.

Jersey Shore Season 2 Cast

JWoww and Snooki ridicule Angelina's self-proclaimed "Kim Kardashian of Staten Island" moniker. "With what ass?" JWoww muses. A valid point. Plus 3.

No one expected Angelina Pivarnick back this season. She awkwardly greets Pauly D and The Situation, who reluctantly let her bunk with them. Minus 1.

Down south, Snooki discovers "life-changing" fried pickles. They did look good. Plus 2. That dude in the restaurant gets a Plus 1 for his fist-pump, too.

Ronnie and Sammi reunite. The tension is thick, lame and boring. This is totally going to be a drawn-out, painful Audrina-Justin kind of thing. Minus 7.

Pauly D does a quick pro-con on the Angelina situation: She's annoying and causes drama, but there could be a slow night with no chicks, so ... Plus 18.

While the guys are awkward but mostly tolerant of Angelina, the girls are ready to full-on brawl. Holy crap, JWoww needs to lay off the steroids. Minus 5.

As a general rule, it's hard not to smile at what a blast the guys are having with this show. The girls, meanwhile, just come off miserable and catty. Even.

One of the Boys

Cons: Annoying drama queen. Pros: Easily accessible.

Lending a hand scrubbing in the sink after a DISASTER involving Sammi’s FAVORITE white shorts, Snooki says "I feel like a pilgrim from the freakin' '20s." Plus 6.

An intoxicated Ronnie calls Sammi an "ungrateful c**t" and says she will "never f*%king win." Win what, you effing moron? Get over yourself. Minus 13.

Vinny sums up the night: "Ronnie's obliviated at this point." Plus 6.

The Situation: "Ron is at the club hooking up with grenades, which is a bigger ugly chick, and land mines, which is a thinner ugly chick, and ... loving life." Plus 11.

Sure enough, Ronnie mauls one of each. Minus 8 for the nasty close-up.

An additional Plus 12 for the previews of future episodes. Wow.

TOTAL: +26. Follow this link for the night's best Jersey Shore quotes!

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Get ready to beat up the beat.

Snooki and J-Woww, a.k.a. Nicole Polizzi and Jenni Farley, a.k.a. the really short, orange girl and the behemoth with the enormous fake boobs from Jersey Shore, posed for the cameras at the Jersey Shore Soundtrack Album Release Party this week.

That's gonna be an awesome soundtrack, for sure ... this gang requires the right kind of tunes to go absolutely wild on the boardwalk. Which they will do again, beginning July 29 on MTV (follow the link to peep the Jersey Shore Season 2 trailer).

The real question, of course, is ...

Snooki and Jenni

Who would you rather ...

 

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The fact that Jenni Farley, a.k.a. J-Woww from Jersey Shore, has a fashion line at all is ironic, given the sheer amount of skin the girl reveals on a daily basis.

Appropriately, though, the line goes by the name of Filthy Couture.

J-Woww debuted it on the runway for the first time at Vegas hotspot Ghostbar this holiday weekend in a 35-minute show, or 33 minutes more than necessary.

If you've seen one J-Woww fashion selection, you've seen them all - and all or most of the giant fake breasts they reveal before ending up on the floor anyway.

But anyway, models bounded down the catwalk in everything from swimsuits and casual wear to items that Farley-coined “club wear” ... undoubtedly classy.

LOW-BROW FASHION: J-Woww is a proud poster child.

Anchored by a smattering of paint or lace, “a lot of these pieces are silicone, gel or hand painted,” the reality star said at the launch party for the clothing line.

“[For] the bathing suits I wanted to go with a grungy, or sexy-grungy look with the chains, but I also wanted to keep it girly with the lace,” she added.

As for seeing her own fashion make its runway debut?

“Very unreal. Surreal,” Farley said. “I’ve had this vision for a long time, and I’ve been in school for seven years doing it but never thought it would come true.”

As for where she got the Filthy Couture name? Jenni says it was inspired by “the genre of music that we like to listen to, you know, the guidos and guidettes.”

We're sure it'll be a huge seller. For more J-Woww, check out the aspiring designer and the rest of the guido gang in the Jersey Shore Season 2 trailer!

Jenni 'JWOWW' Farley Biography

JWOWW Picture Jenni Farley is a cast member on the hit show Jersey Shore. The program debuted in late 2009 and the cast members are wicked trashy, but... More »
Full Name
Jenni 'JWOWW' Farley
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