Jenelle Evans, Leah Messer, Kailyn Lowry and Chelsea Houska reunited last night in part one of the MTV reality show's time-honored "checkup" with Dr. Drew Pinsky.
The reunion show rehashes where they are at "this moment" in their lives ... this moment being at LEAST nine months ago, or about five years in Teen Mom 2 land.
Leah was not engaged to Jeremy Calvert and getting jumped by female hooligans, Jenelle was facing jail for the first time (how quaint) ... this is all ancient history.
Still, there was plenty of drama to be revealed ...
Jenelle Evans was, at least at the time this was taped, a few months after the Teen Mom 2 season finale, back together with bum boyfriend Kieffer Delp. Minus 20.
She also relapsed and failed a drug test. Minus 50.
Dr. Drew: "You're on probation, smoking pot, hanging out with a guy you filed domestic violence charges against. Tell me where you're better?!" PWNED. Plus 25.
On the bright side, Jenelle has a "set schedule," has been attending school and isn't arguing (as much) with her mom, Barbara. In relative terms, of course. Plus 5.
Barbara in the houuuuuse! Plus 10.
Babs agrees that she and her daughter are "a lot better" since Jenelle's stepfather "moved out with a Hooters waitress!" Plus 5 for her cackling as she says this.
Asked to sum up North Carolina's favorite hoodie-wearing hobo, Babs said simply of Kieffer Delp, "He's so no good." Eloquent, Babs. Eloquent. Plus 10.