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One day, Matt Encinias. The next, Spider-Man.

After returning to L.A. from a club event in Las Vegas on Friday, Britney Spears shows off a (spider) man in her life during a car ride. As you can see, son Jayden James Federline ain't lookin' too happy... but then again, he rarely is. Would you, if your mom acted like that?

Hey, Britney Spears kissed just about everything else lately. And hey, the lead paint that doll is probably coated with is probably less vile than Criss Angel.

Like many other celebrities, Britney recently got paid a $h!tload of money just to show up at a club opening over the weekend. Her new single, "Gimme More" is supposedly getting rave reviews. We don't know if we buy that, but it isn't awful, at least.

Britney Spears' new album drops November 13. We expect Jayden James to drop - from his high chair to the floor - at least once or twice prior to that date.

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Looks like Jamie and Lynne Spears (parents of Jamie-Lynn Spears and Britney Spears) are on grandparent duty.

Of course, it was their daughter's ex-husband who enlisted them.

The former couple, also divorced (as of 2002), took care of Britney Spears' sons, Sean Preston, 23 months, and Jayden James, 11 months, at K-Fed's house in Tarzana, Calif., Friday.

Kevin Federline, 29, was off shooting One Tree Hill in Wilmington, N.C., where the CW drama is filmed. Hey, dad's gotta work sometimes.

As for mom, she was busy as well. Getting pulled over by the California Highway Paatrol after driving erratically. And getting her freak on with Criss Angel.

Celebrity news-breakers X17 report that after taking off from the hot club Opera at 2 a.m. Saturday night, Britney headed on over to meet Criss Angel - who she's reportedly been "working closely with" on her MTV Video Music Awards act.

She showed up at his hotel with a full entourage and headed straight up to his room, where they enjoyed frequent trips to the balcony for a smoke.

This meeting of the minds (if you could call it that) was a long one. Britney Spears didn't leave Criss' mind-freaky palace of love until 9 a.m.!

The womanizing illusionist has stated for the record he's not tapping that, but merely collaborating with Britney Spears on her upcoming MTV VMA performance.

Riiiiiiight. And Heidi Montag's engagement ring is totally real.

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Britney Spears had some Cravings last night.

No, we're not talking about unbridled desire for Daimon Shippen or whoever the man du jour might be. She just ate at a Beverly Hills restaurant called Cravings.

Picture of Hotness

In the photo below, Britney matches 11-month-old son Jayden James Federline's mood as the pair left the restaurant. It's hard to say who looks more miserable.

The pop star dined with her two boys, then got hella pissed with celebrity news photographers took pictures of her changing them in the bathroom.

Oh, and she once again flashed her ass. Nice purple, polka-dot underwear, girl!

Despite finalizing her divorce, Britney Spears is embroiled in a custody battle with ex Kevin Federline over their two sons, Jayden and Sean Preston.

At issue? Brit being unfit to raise them, at least in K-Fed's mind.

FedEx wants 70-30 time with and care of the kids, not the 50-50 split they have right now, and his lawyer is subpoenaing everyone in sight to prove that Britney Spears is a nut who can't be trusted with custody. It'll be a tough claim to prove, that's for sure.

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Believe it or not, the amazing Britney Spears has actually done something sane, according to celebrity news site Just Jared - she's hired new management!

Spears hired Jeff Kwatinez (right) of The Firm to help aid her comeback into the music biz. Her former manager, Larry Rudolph, was the one that "forced" Britney into rehab.

Ridin' Dirty

Of course, the gauntlet fell this spring as a bitter Britney axed Rudolph for his betrayal and indiscretions (trying to help her get her act together, what a jerk).

Kwatinetz also got the boot earlier this year as American Idol winner Kelly Clarkson fired his ass and replaced him with Reba McEntire's manager and husband, Narvel Blackstock.

We hope this new manager can help steer Britney Spears' career and life back on the right track.

But don't hold your breath. Really, who has high hopes for someone named Jeff Kwatinez? Not this celebrity gossip site.

Anyway. Below is a cute picture of Britney grabbing dinner at Cravings, an Italian restaurant in W. Hollywood, with her youngest son, Jayden James Federline.

Aww. We love you, Jayden James Federline!! Our favorite little tyke is wearing a hat that resembles some kind of furry animal. Like a bear, maybe. Or Seth Rogen.

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Britney Spears has publicly battled with her mother, Lynne Spears, and her ex-husband, Kevin Federline (their divorce became final two days ago).

Everybody wants out. Heck, even her cousin and former assistant, Alli Sims, has decided she's better off on her own than with her famous relative.

Yet the latest crisis in the singer's life hits even closer to home. Over the past year, Britney has subjected her children, Sean Preston, 22 months, and Jayden James, 10 months, to one meltdown after another - and put their own health at risk.

Sources tell Us Weekly, which features the tots on its cover, that Spears' family and friends (what few remain) are very concerned about Britney's mothering skills.

Case in point: The tooth fairy may be making early visits to Sean P.

"He's having dental problems because Britney just shoves a bottle of juice or soda in his mouth all the time to stop him from crying," a family friend says of her eldest child.

Another source says that, back in April, Britney Spears "asked an L.A. dentist if he would whiten her kid's teeth!"

The dentist refused.

The bizarre behavior doesn't stop there: Spears and her kids became high-end squatters July 22, when they toured a Pacific Palisades estate on the market for $6.5 million.

Upon their arrival, her bodyguard (no word on whether this was Julio Camera or some other rent-athug) removed the FOR SALE sign, then went to her Beverly Hills address to fetch some of their belongings. The result was a nightmare, with Spears and her kids trashing the house before money exchanged hands.

"She ate tacos on the bedroom floor," a source says of the home. "She got crumbs and grease everywhere. She let her babies and her dog roam the floor. She left the bed a mess. I don't know what's wrong with her."

Another stunning excerpt:

"When Britney and Kevin were first married, she objected to his smoking around the kids, the insider notes, but now 'she smokes like a chimney in front of them.' Even worse, when Brit misplaces her pack of cigarettes, she'll actually turn to Sean and say, ‘Baby, where are Mama's lollipops?' Sean Preston runs, gets her cigarettes and brings them back to her."

Good grief. Now, for some photo evidence from just 24 hours ago. The wayward mom took Sean Preston for a spin in her Mini Cooper - and was all over the road!

Looks like the train wreck is looking for a car wreck.

Unlike Nicole Richie, however, Britney Spears doesn't need to be high on weed and Vicodin to drive on the wrong side of the road. Pray for Sean Preston and Jayden James, people. Pray.

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Following months being kept under wraps (and blankets and crates), Jayden James Federline was finally revealed to the outside world yesterday.

Celebrity photo agency X17 spotted Jayden James out with his big brother and crazy mom, on a l'il sojourn to the picturesque harbor in Marina del Rey.

She's So Back, Baby

Unfortunately, it was too choppy to head out into the rough waters of the Bay, so Britney Spears' planned boat ride was nixed and she stayed put in the protected marina.

Fortunately, that meant clear pictures of Jayden James Federline. Photos of the youngest spawn of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline at long last! Peep it ...
 

ALL PHOTO CREDITS: X17 Online

Her new assistant (or is that her pal Lucy Walsh, we're not sure) was along for the ride as Britney proudly displayed Jayden James, along with his bro Sean Preston.

So cute! What the heck took her so long? Sean P. looks jealous, but he'll deal with it. It's nice to see Jayden James Federline looking a little less obese than the last time we saw him.

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Well, at least this puts to rest any rumors that Britney Spears has been completely neglecting her youngest son, Jayden James Federline.

The kid is clearly getting enough to eat. Seriously, what the hell is Alli Sims Britney feeding Jayden James? Every single celebrity news article about his mother? Geez.

Circus at MSG

In the JustJared photo composite below, you see Britney and her sons out for a spin to the local Starbucks. Jayden James got a 730-calorie muffin and a double espresso.

From left to right: Jayden James Federline, 10 months, Britney Spears, 25 years (going on 12) and Sean Preston Federline, 21 months. Quite the cute crew.

After circling the Starbucks parking lot at least four times, Britney Spears for drove around the block, back and forth, over and over again (as Al Gore seethes) until finally stopping. Her friend hopped out and went into Starbucks while the "singer" stayed put.

Jayden James looks rather subdued, while Sean Preston doesn't look thrilled to be there. But when you're used to big pimpin' in an Escalade, well, that car seat can suck it.

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Our apologies to all fans who momentarily thought they could get a look at Britney Spears nude here today. Not gonna happen, sadly.

However, we offer you the next best thing. Britney and her no-neck mystery man frolicking in the pool at her Malibu estate with her two sons!

Drugged Up and Happy

PHOTO CREDIT: TMZ / Flynet

Here, the naked Jayden James Federline is being handed off by the alleged man, who may be a bodyguard, chauffeur or boyfriend, or any or all of the above.

Meanwhile, Sean Preston Federline patiently waits his turn. What a l'il pimp! He doesn't need to cry or be passed around or wear pants. Pants are for suckaz.

It's either hard to find swimsuits for kids in L.A., or they've been reading too much about their nudity-loving mother in various online celebrity news publications.

Is Britney Spears dating this man? We have no frickin' idea. What is his name? No clue on that, either. Help us out if you can. But we can tell you two things:

  1. Amy Winehouse wears that hairstyle better. And can sing.
  2. Sean Preston and Jayden James' estranged grandma, Lynne Spears, was nowhere to be found.

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It's about time! At long last, Jayden James Federline photos have been discovered that aren't grainy or featuring J-squared in a crate or buried beneath blankets.

That's right, the second son of Britney Spears is no longer in hiding! We have been waiting for you to show your face, Jayden James. And we welcome you.

Britney Ad For Dolce & Gabbana

The paparazzi finally exposed the biggest celebrity baby mystery since the debate over whether Suri Cruise existed when a member of the press caught up with Brit in Hawaii...

PHOTO CREDIT: Ramey / TMZ

Britney spent some time in Mexico last week, and is continuing her R&R in Hawaii with her personal biatch (and also cousin) Alli, Jayden James, and his brother Sean Preston.

Good for her. A girl's gotta get away and relax with the fam. All of that lip-synching, tanning, shopping and eating fast food is exhausting, don'cha know.

Awesome. These are the best Jayden James Federline pictures to date. By far. We've got more for you below. Looking at these and the one above, three things are undeniably clear:

  1. Britney Spears doesn't exactly look thrilled to see the photographer who got this money shot.
  2. That pink bikini looks like it's about to fall off.
  3. Sean Preston Federline has a serious wedgie. Help the kid, Alli!

by Free Britney at . Comments

The amazing Britney Spears took a break from her rehearsal schedule for a family boat trip with baby sons Sean Preston and Jayden James in Marina del Rey on Thursday.

They were joined by Brit's cousin Allie, as well as by her huge breasts bodyguard. There's even a cute Jayden James picture... or at least a glimpse of the bundle of clothes and other stuff he's wrapped in and always covered by.

At the Bizzucks

PHOTO CREDITS: TMZ / Pacific Coast News / Wells Scott

We bet that Terra Jole, a.k.a. mini-Britney, would be mad jealous of these pics, as it looks like a good time is being had by all aboard. Then again, Jole's career is actually on track.

Anyway, the last time we saw Britney take to the high seas, it was on a boat ride with Isaac Cohen... who she went on many rides with (heh heh) for the few weeks they dated.

This time, it appears it was a family only venture. Which is probably for the best, as Brit hasn't had much luck in the dating department of late. Sorry, Howie Day. You don't cut it.

Maybe she's taking the advice of Simon Cowell and devoting herself to her family. Oh, who are we kidding. At least she didn't offer the paparazzi a crotch shot (that we know of).