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Jake Pavelka traveled to St. Lucia with his three remaining women on The Bachelor last night. Despite the best efforts of Gia Allemand and a last-ditch do-over request by Ali Fedotowsky, he narrowed the field to just two lucky ladies:

Tenley Molzahn and Vienna Girardi.

How did he arrive at this painstaking decision? As always, THG endured Jake's trials and tribulations on The Bachelor to recap the action in our point system:

The "shocking return" of Ali Fedotowsky was the hyped event this week. She lies in bed with promotional pics of Jake that Mike Fleiss gave her when he wrote this. Or she printed online because she's a stalker. Either way, Plus 30.

Ali Fedotowsky Photo

Back in San Francisco, Ali pretends to lament her decision.

Jake often calls Gia "deep." What does that even mean? Minus 6.

Jake says he'd return to St. Lucia on a honeymoon as it has "a lot of meaning." Hard to top the place where you slept with three girls in one week, it's true. Plus 5.

Gia: "When I look into Jake's eyes, I get lost." Jealous. Minus 3.

A Fantasy Suite card is delivered, they hop in the tub in the suite and Jake says "Gia has grabbed on to my heart so hard." He could not be more awkward. Plus 4.

Minus 8 because we really should have added "take a sip every time Tenley says 'my ex'" to our Bachelor drinking game. We could've been so trashed last night!

Jake says he can't wait to watch his first sunrise with Tenley Molzahn. Plus 6 because with these two, that probably actually is what they were thinking about.

In the span of about like minutes Jake refers to Vienna Girardi as light, fun, immature, and "nurturing." LOL wut. This is your future wife, Jake?! Minus 17.

Mauling Jake

Vienna Girardi mauls Jake Pavelka. No wonder she's in the finale.

After inhaling Jake's face aboard a pirate ship, Vienna busts out her finest Wal-Mart lingerie and closes the suite door. Plus 3, because at least she goes for broke.

Re: the fantasy suite concept: Do girls put out when he's "dating" two others? We're guessing definitely Vienna and maybe Gia. No bone zone for Tenley. Even.

Twist alert! Ali calls Jake (cameras just happened to be rolling) and says she'll "forever" regret her decision. Until she stars on The Bachelorette, that is. Plus 7.

Jake's absurd reasoning for not taking her back: he's so much closer to the other three girls since Ali left. Dude, this happened like yesterday afternoon. Minus 14.

A half hour of filler ended the episode, but Plus 4 for the over-dramatic, music-free cut to commercial while Ali cried. That's when you know it's emotional!

TOTAL: +11. SEASON: +12. Roses: Tenley, Vienna. Gone: Gia, Ali (again).

Who should Jake Pavelka give his final rose to?

 

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Having taken herself out of the running last week, Ali Fedotowsky returns to The Bachelor tonight ... at least over the phone. Who would have guessed?

We did. Not only because The Bachelor spoilers we've been posting all season long predicted it, but because THIS SAME SCENARIO HAPPENED already.

Just last summer, even. Ed Swiderski left The Bachelorette to return to work, then flew back unannounced and asked Jillian Harris for a second chance.

He went on to win. Will the cute, blonde Ali Fedotowsky achieve a similar shocking, not-at-all staged comeback victory? That's another question entirely.

One thing's for sure, though. When she calls Jake Pavelka tonight and asks to return to The Bachelor, he puts on his best "trying to look shocked" face:

  • I Made a Mistake!
  • Jake Reacts

Cameras happen to be both Ali's and Jake's rooms at 6:05 a.m. What are the odds? About the same as him being told how to emote via cue cards while picking up.

How will this potential reunion go down on The Bachelor? Will Ali be granted a second chance? Or has he already moved on to Vienna Girardi and Tenley Molzahn?

Follow the jump for an epically cheesy clip from tonight ...

Continue Reading...

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Millions upon millions of fans may be disappointed with the final choice for love on the current season of The Bachelor, but Jake Pavelka himself is not one of them.

"I know for a fact Jake is happy with his decision," host-pimp Chris Harrison says.

"I will steal a line from Jake. He has said, 'I will shock people, I will disappoint people,' but he did what he feels was right, and I support him. Good for him."

Rumors have long speculated that the winner this season will be Vienna Girardi.

If the Bachelor spoilers we've posted turn out to be true, many viewers will indeed be very let down. Vienna is not exactly what you would call a fan favorite.

Final Four Ladies

One of these girls will get the final rose. You may not like it.

"I will say I was surprised that he kept her around," Chris admits. "But I have to give the guy credit to have the balls to go against what everybody's saying."

THG NOTE: How would he know what "people" are saying about a reality show he's starring on? Does Chris just mean the other girls bad-mouthing Vienna?

Chris also says V is not as evil as she appears. "I think [Vienna Girardi] has a bit of a bad rep ... I think she was put behind the 8 ball in the beginning."

Wonder who could be responsible for that... not ABC's deliberate story editing.

"When you are one on the front-runners early on, there is a target put on your back. So, there is competitiveness, there is jealousy from the other girls."

Of course, I don't think Vienna went out of her way to fix that problem."

No. And it sounds like Jake is not going to take her ex-husband's advice and run for it while he still can. Would you be disappointed if Vienna were to win?

Who do you think should get the final rose from Jake Pavelka?

 

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Rachel Uchitel. Jake Pavelka. People one rarely associates with the other.

Nevertheless, the former NYC club hostess and Tiger Woods mistress, who landed a paying gig as a correspondent on Extra, interviewed The Bachelor star last night.

Going off the cue cards for once, Jake Pavelka spoke wistfully of the departed Ali Fedotowsky, who left at the end of this week's episode to go back to work.

One of the hard-hitting questions posed by Rachel Uchitel for the man of the hour: "When Ali went home [Monday], was she going to be one of the girls you kept?"

"Yes," Jake replied. "Ali was going to get a rose that night."

Think Tiger is jealous of Jake moving in on his Ambien-driven sex partner?

Pavelka said he was "heartbroken" to see her leave, and he's not the only one. Many fans were devastated about Ali Fedotowsky fleeing ... but will she be back?

That we'll have to see next week.

After the interview, Jake and Rachel naturally decided to do a little salsa dancing ... and he was definitely thinking dirty thoughts. Or at least the Jake equivalent.

Meanwhile, Vienna Girardi is plotting Uchitel's slow, painful death. No word on which Tiger Woods mistresses will somehow land TV gigs and interview Jake next.

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Will Ali Fedotowsky return to The Bachelor after her dramatic, not-at-all-staged exit on Monday's "shocking" episode? All signs obviously point to a contrived yes.

Ali, a 25-year-old advertising account manager with Facebook in San Francisco, Ca., abruptly left at the end of this week's Bachelor episode to return to her position.

After Fedotowsky's boss gave her an ultimatum - quit the show or lose your job - Bachelor star Jake Pavelka wouldn't "guarantee" he'd give her the final rose.

So Ali up and left ... but for how long?!?

"We haven't seen or heard the last from Ali," host / pimp Chris Harrison says. "I think everyone saw that it was unresolved when she left. You could tell that they both definitely were falling in love with each other, if not already."

"Tey're definitely not done talking about this with each other."

Ali Fedotowsky and Jake Pavelka

SO SAD: Chris says Jake "has strong feelings" for Ali Fedotowsky.

"Jake said it was tough to watch her leave again last night," Harrison recalled. "I asked if he considered promising Ali that she was the one so she would stay, and Jake said, 'Well, she wasn't the one. She was one of the front runners.'"

"He said she needed to decide on her own and he didn't want to be desperate and beg, but he really didn't want her to go," and Ali certainly struggled with the choice.

"She loves her job and we tried to make it work, but in the end her boss said you've got to choose," he says. "Do you want to do the show or do you want your job?"

He adds that fans shouldn't give her a hard time: "You want to be the romantic, but you can't fault her for loving her career." Especially not in this economy, right?

That leaves Vienna Girardi, Tenley Molzahn and Gia Allemand fighting for Jake's final rose ... unless Ali makes a surprise return, as hinted in next week's preview.

Who should Jake Pavelka choose on The Bachelor?

 

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Jake Pavelka toured the hometowns and met the families of his remaining four women on The Bachelor last night. From New York to Oregon, everything went well.

Until Ali Fedotowsky dropped the biggest bombshell in Bachelor history, that is. Well, except for last summer on The Bachelorette when the same thing happened.

The story editors really need to step it up. As always, THG endured Jake's trials and tribulations on The Bachelor to recap the action in our exclusive point system:

Gia Allemand says Jake's unlike anyone she's dated. Yup, he's that dull. Minus 3.

Erick, Gia's brother, is like a poor man's Pauly D from Jersey Shore. Plus 4.

Gia confesses was with a "bad guy" who cheated on her with all her friends. Wow, so Carl Pavano is not only wildly overpaid, he's a complete jackass. Minus 7.

Jake Contemplates

Jake pretends to deliberate while looking at pictures from ABC.com.

Visiting New England in the late fall, Jake tells Ali that it comes to cold, "I'm a big baby." Replace "cold" with just about anything and that would be true. Plus 5.

Ali drags poor Jake to ... her deceased grandmother's empty house. To borrow one of the simplest, but most profound Liz Lemon quotes: "Dealbreaker!" Minus 3.

Ali's mom says she Googled Jake. THG ranks #1 when one does this. Plus 30.

Jake to Tenley: "I run everything I do by my parents." Groan. Minus 8.

Jake to Tenley: "You have to be a we." Swoon. Plus 9.

Tenley choreographs a ballet dance for Jake set to a traditional wedding march. We can't decide if genuine cuteness trumps extreme awkwardness, so ... Even.

Jake asks Tenley's dad for his blessing - while dating three other girls - and gets it! Why? Because he's "a man of integrity." On The Bachelor. LOL. Minus 48.

Farewell, Ali Fedotowsky ... or will you return?

For once, Vienna Girardi was not the focal point of the entire episode. Plus 12 for that, but an obligatory Minus 7 because her dad has some major screws loose.

The "bombshell" is Ali Fedotowsky going all Ed Swiderski on Jake Pavelka's Jillian Harris. She's gotta go back to work! Minus 100 for the absurd hype this got.

But Plus 86 for Ali crying in the hallway; Jake leaning over the banister. Ali pulling out of the rose ceremony, and Jake's remark: "All I have right now is hope."

While it's rather lame of Ali to up and leave, she probably made the right choice. Jake is pretty lame, and it's hard to get a new job in this economy. Plus 24.

In the promo for next week, the phone rings and it's ... Ali! Who would have guessed? Oh wait, us. Since this already happened on The Bachelorette. Minus 8.

TOTAL: -12. SEASON: +1. Roses: Tenley, Gia, Vienna. Gone: Ali ... or is she?!

Who should Jake Pavelka give his final rose to?

 

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Vienna Girardi has The Bachelor all but wrapped up, if last night is any indication. Jake Pavelka is wrapped around her finger and the other girls are at their wits' end.

As always, THG staff members endured Jake's latest trials and tribulations on The Bachelor to recap all the action for you with our exclusive point system below ...

Tenley Molzahn gets the first of three one-on-ones with Jake. She tries to act very squeaky and cute. Plus 5. But Minus 7 because so does Jake, and he's a dude.

Corrie punks Ali by saying she and Vienna will be going on the two-on-one. In reality, it's Gia and Vienna, but Ali has a full-on hissy fit in front of Vienna. Minus 3.

Jake's #1 wife requirement is that she have his back, no matter what. That and Chris Harrison orchestrating unrealistic dates for him the rest of his life. Plus 4.

Nice turtleneck, Jake. Minus 2.

Jake Pretends to Look Cool

Okay, Jake, a little to the left... perfect! Stand there and act natural!

En route to her date with Jake (and third wheel Gia), Vienna Girardi pronounces the Castello vineyard "castle." Who says you can't judge a book by its cover? Plus 8.

Jake on dating two girls at the same time: "It's almost awkward." Not unlike our reaction every time he's on screen and tries to ad-lib off the cue cards. Minus 3.

Upset that Jake and Gia are alone together, pathetic Vienna desperately wanders through the estate in an attempt to find and cock block her "boyfriend." Plus 9.

Later, the girls go to bed ... until Vienna slips out for a rendezvous in Jake's room. A rendezvous Jake didn't know he would be attending. Obsessed much? Minus 4.

Jake on Vienna: "I definitely had dirty thoughts." Cringe. Minus 13.

Gia Allemand makes a strong impression. Team Gia/Tenley! Plus 3.

Corrie's date involved the two of them sitting silently in a rowboat, waiting to make a move. At least the outdoor scenery was nice during this nonsense. Minus 6.

Vienna Girardi (The Bachelor)

This is Vienna Girardi. The other girls hate her so hard.

His date with Ali Fedotowsky? Not much better. We get it. You live in San Francisco and it's awesome. You hate that Jake likes Vienna too. Just STFU you catty ...

... okay, that blue dress is looking damn good on her. Even.

Why do the girls talk about Vienna 24/7 and rarely say what they like about Jake? Ali is the worst, and it's all growing tiresome. Minus 5, and Minus 6 more for the filler quotient this week, as this could've been condensed into one hour easily.

But at least that meant time for a host-pimp fireside chat, so Plus 3.

LOL at Vienna's hair during the rose ceremony. WTH is that? Plus 8.

TOTAL: -11. SEASON: +13. Roses: Tenley, Ali, Gia and Vienna. Gone: Corrie.

Who should Jake choose among his final four ladies?

 

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Jake Pavelka's quest for a life partner continued last night, and The Hollywood Gossip staff endured The Bachelor to recap it for you with our exclusive point system.

Awarding and deducting scores as we deem fit, here's THG's take on last night's episode, which saw a very serious Jake narrow his field of contestants to five:

Chris Harrison announces that he will now be pimping the girls up and down the California coast. Bachelor road trip, RV style. Lots of screaming ensues. Minus 5.

The girls not in Vienna's RV start bashing her immediately. Plus 3.

First stop on the road trip? Wine country. Jake on the vineyard: "There are fields of grapes in all directions." One typically will see that in a vineyard, yes. Minus 4.

Tenley Screams

The first 15 minutes of the episode summed up in one image.

Gia and Jake spend their critical one-on-one date in the vineyard playing hide-and-seek and spin the bottle. Nauseating, but at least she's really trying. Plus 4.

Jake Pavelka confides that in 9th grade, his nickname was "Mr. Dateless." Minus 6, because there's no way Jake or any 9th grader has ever been called that.

Group date time. This mostly consists of Jake rolling around in the sand with a squeaky, flirty Tenley Molzahn. Doesn't look like the worst time ever. Plus 7.

Minus 2, though, for how he lamely says "it's time to get down n' dirty." Jake, stop reading the cue cards and acting like a stiff for five f*%king seconds.

Tenley Molzahn gets a rose. Ali is going to poison Vienna pretty soon. Plus 5.

The 2-on-1 date is going to be "so difficult" for Jake, but he's "going to do what my heart tells me." By his heart, he means Chris and Mike Fleiss. Minus 9.

Jake Sets Rose on Fire

Jake tries to act like this scene was totally spontaneous.

Jessie totally pulls a Jake Pavelka on Jake Pavelka, who is now in Jillian Harris' position. Jessie "warns" Jake about Vienna 'cause she cares SO MUCH! Plus 6.

Besides how much Vienna supposedly sucks, the big narrative producers are beating into our skulls this season is that Jake is, like, really serious about finding a wife. As opposed to other Bachelor stars who are there for what reason? Minus 11.

To that end, Jake boots both girls after the 2-on-1 date. Deep in thought, he then SETS THE ROSE ON FIRE! Plus 12 for that staged, but hilarious moment.

At the rose ceremony, he calls time out! Minus 5, because you shouldn't be able to do that. He wants to cut an extra girl. Understanding pimp Chris agrees.

The final rose goes to ... Vienna Girardi! Plus 8 for dragging that inevitable result out as long as humanly possible to mess with us - and royally piss off Ali.

TOTAL: +1. SEASON: +24. Rose recipients: Gia, Corrie, Tenley, Ali and Vienna. Sent packing by Jake Pavelka: Ashleigh, Jessie, Kathryn, and Ella.

Things our wives said:

  • "I really hate how much they scream."
  • "[Gia] looks like a high-maintenance airhead, but she's so pretty."
  • "[Vienna] needs to lay off the dark eye shadow. Her clothes are really bad too. I mean, where do you even BUY some of those outfits?"

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The drama on The Bachelor so far this season was nothing, Jake Pavelka says.

According to an interview he did with Entertainment Tonight, the lowest point on the hit ABC series hasn't happened yet, and when it does, look out!

"That is yet to come and it won't be any secret," the 31-year-old commercial pilot says. "It's horrible. Awful. On a scale of one to 10, it nears a 10."

Jake says that he was "so devastated" by the events that he had to turn himself off a little bit. "It is juicy now, but it is going to get a lot juicier."

Will You Accept This Rose?

Despite everything that has happened on The Bachelor, Jake Pavelka says none of the women ever got on his nerves and there was no point at which he wanted to bolt.

In fact, he hopes that Rozlyn Papa, who was accused of an "inappropriate relationship" with producer Ryan Callahan, which she denies, finds love.

As for crazy Michelle, who came off as bat$hit insane, he says, "Great girl. Maybe a little over emotional, but she was there for me, not anybody else."

And then there is the lovely Vienna Girardi, who has proven to be a huge hit with Jake so far, but not exactly with the other girls in the mansion.

"There is a level of honesty that comes from her that is turning the girls off," he says. "It is like on our bungee jumping date, it went really well."

"She goes back and starts talking about it, saying, 'You really get to see who Jake is,' but the other girls don't want to hear that. She is naturally trying to talk about something wonderful in her life. Bless her heart, it gets her in trouble."

Bless her heart indeed, my man.

Tenley

Early favorites Tenley Molzahn, left, and Vienna Girardi.

As the pretenders are culled from the field of contenders each week, the show is getting closer to overnight, fantasy suite dates. Jake's take on that?

"I have nothing to apologize for," he says. "The greatest thing about the fantasy suites is you don't have to go in there and make babies. It is a great opportunity to go in there and spend more time with a girl you are falling in love with."

So we're guessing Jake doesn't get Tenley pregnant in the fantasy suite. Too bad, that would make for a great subplot after he chooses Vienna.

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As usual, The Hollywood Gossip staff endured The Bachelor last night to bring you our official recap, with points awarded/docked according to our scientific system.

In the season's third episode, Vienna Girardi emerged as a frontrunner, and Michelle became even more insane. Here's THG's take on that and so much more ...

Jake takes Vienna bungee jumping "to overcome their fears as a couple." A couple who met like 10 days ago. And jumps off a bridge entirely by choice. Minus 5.

Plus 12, though, for the show blatantly recycling this story line from Jason and Molly's season, but Minus 12 for V saying she's "on cloud Jake right now." Wow.

Michelle: "I really want a 1-on-1 date with Jake. I really do." You're joking! Plus 16, as she also wants to kiss Jake softly and pull his hair. She is bat$h!t insane.

Jake and His Harem

Jake Pavelka and his Bachelor babes after their comedy venture.

Plus 6 to Jon Lovitz for purposely not being funny at his own comedy club, in order to help take the pressure of the suitors. (That is what he was doing, right?!?)

Corrie absolutely trashes Vienna Girardi in her standup routine, and other girls throw her under the bus too. Minus 10 for the cattiness, even for The Bachelor.

The girls HATE Vienna, yet we never see her do anything bad. A theory? It's part of the narrative so we're "shocked" when she wins (see Bachelor spoilers). Even.

Ali on Michelle: "She just seems a little off." Ya think?! Plus 2.

Ella had a nice date with Jake at Sea World. They're great together, but Minus 4 because they involved her 7-year-old son when she's obviously not gonna win.

Tenley Molzahn opens up to Jake about her past and divorce. We admit it, we're finally hooked on a contestant. She seems so sincere and squeaky. Plus 13.

Tenley and Jake

Jake and sweet, sweet Tenley have a tender moment.

Jake: "I'm not a serial dater." With the exception of appearing on two reality shows based around dating. Minus 4, because we thought he "believed in the process."

Mean, when Michelle pressures Jake to kiss her, and he reluctantly does so, his expression is PRICELESS. Plus 1,000 because he's as scared of her as we are!

Minus 7 for Elizabeth being such a tease, and a really bad one at that. Seriously, girls used to play these games with us in fifth grade. They totally worked, but still.

TOTAL: +1,007. SEASON: +23. Roses: Vienna, Ella, Gia, Corrie, Tenley, Ali, Jessie, Kathryn and Ashleigh. Eliminated: Valishia, Elizabeth and crazy a$$ Michelle.

Things our wives said:

  • [on Jake, multiple times] "Was that him attempting to be funny again?"
  • "These girls are even dumber than I thought, which is saying something."
  • "I'm going upstairs to watch videos of my own stomach instead."
  • [on Michelle] "Doesn't she make you nervous? I'm uncomfortable."
  • "I wish I could accept a rose ... so I could stab myself with its thorns."