by Nosy Neighbor at . Comments

The Real Housewives of New Jersey returns and "The Blonde Drops a Bombshell"…or did she? We break down the rumors and ridiculous set ups in THG's +/- recap!

The Biggest Tongue

The Housewives once again gave us bad singing and even worse fake meetings. It was hard to figure out which was more cringe worthy.

Let's start with Melissa Gorga's singing talent. Minus 50. Please God, I beg you, make all Housewives end their supposed musical careers.

Seriously. It's nothing but painful for both the audience and the professionals that Bravo pays to come in and critique them.

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Leave it to The Real Housewives of New Jersey to turn a "Horse Whisper to a Scream." 

Read on as we break down who among the women embraced their vulnerable side and who ended up looking like a horse's a$$ in THG's official +/- recap!

Not the Horse Whisperer

Jersey is still in the house at the Mirval Resort and Spa and it may never be the same again.

But psychic advisors and gong therapy aren't what Melissa envisioned for her birthday.  "I'm done. I want a f**king cocktail by the pool in a bikini." Plus 15. No one can say she's not a girl who knows what she want.

Everyone's still recovering from the ghost whisperer when they all head out to see a horse whisperer.  Funny thing is, Wyatt the equine therapist reads these Jersey housewives and their hubbies like the comic book characters they are. Plus 22.

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by Nosy Neighbor at . Comments

This week on The Real Housewives on New Jersey, we were shown a "Hair-Binger of Doom" as a six year old gets her own professional hair care line.

Yup, anything can happen in Jersey and we recap it all in our THG +/- review.

Pass the Hookah

I've lost count of the amount of products Teresa Guidice has out there but this one might just top the list. Now she's got a professional hair care line…and she's named it after her six year old.

Minus 20.  First off, I've never much liked Teresa's hair.  Second, don't you think her other kids might be a little ticked off that Milania's getting all the attention? Way to play favorites there Mom.

And is little Milania angling for her own show? Plus 8 because her parading around in a padded bra was disturbingly funny as was telling Tre to take her name off the product if she couldn't come to the launch party.

In reality it's just another Housewives money making scheme and with all the Guidice legal issues I'm sure their lawyers will take every penny they can get.

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by Nosy Neighbor at . Comments

The Real Housewives of New Jersey heads back to the Teresa and Jacqueline summit as the "Children of the Scorned" try to patch up their friendship.

We recap the tattered remains in THG's +/- review.

The Real '80s

After last week where Teresa Giudice called Jacqueline evil and Jac shot back with calling Tre a sociopath, I was expecting more from this summit meaning.

Minus 15 because instead of a cat fight it was a giant snooze fest. I don't think anyone really owned up to anything from the past, they just decided to move on.  How long will it be before it all falls apart once again?

The worst part was having to hear Joe Guidice talk about autism once again.

Minus 12 because the ignorant meter was  spiking off the charts. But then again, if we kept Joe to speaking about subjects he actually understood, it wouldn't give him much air time.

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by Nosy Neighbor at . Comments

The Real Housewives of New Jersey had half the cast trying to be "Best Frenemies Forever" but how long will the tenuous truce last?

We call out who's a dirty dog and who can't handle basic grammar in THG's +/- review.

The hour begins with Melissa Gorga heading out to her husband's construction site to drop off some papers. As the mud gets on her designer boots shy whines, "Is it always this dirty here?"

Melissa Gorga Continues To Sing

Minus 15. It's a construction site! I'm guessing she doesn't visit much… and I hope that equipment Joe Gorga had her driving was adequately insured because it looked as though someone was going to get hurt.

Joe's all hyped up about his photo shoot for a Sizzle Tan billboard. What makes him qualified? "I am perfect."  Minus 18. No lack of ego here.

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey are "On Thin Guid-Ice" as the retreat continues. We recap the drunken hugs and apologies in our THG +/- review.

Dr. V score some points as she quickly reduces Joe Gorga and Teresa Guidice to sobbing puddles. Plus 12. That didn't take long at all.

Hug It Out

But I wouldn't expect tearful hugs from everyone.

The good doctor marches back downstairs for her next victim and assures them all that she's not murdering anyone upstairs.  I don't think some in that crowd would have a problem if she were.

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by Nosy Neighbor at . Comments

The Real Housewives of New Jersey brought us "Everything Is Coming Up Rosie" but is an intervention led by the hot headed cousin really what they need?

We recap both the good advice and the asinine in our THG +/- review.

Rosie's Happy Face

Joe Gorga drives home from the gym still muttering curses at Teresa under his breath.

I'm not sure what he's more upset about, being told he's pussy whipped or finding out that Melissa tweeted something unkind about his sister.

Maybe Melissa isn't the angel he thinks she is.

Melissa's still working on her book, because who doesn't need advice on marriage from a Real Housewife? Plus 10 for talking to her family beforehand about putting her father's philandering past in the book but I wonder if she would have done it anyway even if they objected.

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"It's My Party and I'll Fight if I Want To" shows that no The Real Housewives of New Jersey birthday party is complete without drama, even if the party is for a 12 year old.

We try and make sense of the lies and catty comments in our THG +/- review.

Gia & Teresa

Gia Giudice is turning 12. At 12 I think I had 10 kids at my party. Gia's parents rented a club for 100 people. Does anyone else get the feeling the girl is already smarter than both of her parents? 

Hopefully she doesn't inherit her mother's fashion sense. Purple zebra spandex. Minus 8. Even at the gym that should be unacceptable.

With her birthday looming Joe Giudice takes his little girl out for daddy / daughter time. When he started lecturing the pre-teen on spending more time with her family I groaned. Minus 10.

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