by Nosy Neighbor at

Too good to be true. That's what The Real Housewives of New Jersey's trip to "Whine Country" has been so far, but that's all about to change.

We'll break down all the sexcapades and snubs in our THG +/- recap!

The Russian River Valley looks like such tranquil place until the Jersey crowd pass through.  An immediate minus 12 to Teresa showing off her potty mouth.

And just how desperate is this woman to get her husband's attention?  She's asking him "Do you want to stick your finger in my ***?" and telling him she wants to do him in the vineyards all in front of her brother and sister-in-law.  What is she overcompensating for?

Teresa Rides in the RV

We find out all too soon but let's stick to our RV ride for a moment.

Plus 10 to Melissa for pointing out to Teresa that once she gives quotes about her life to magazines, she's given up the expectation of privacy.  If she didn't want people to ask her if she's going to jail, why talk about it and pose for a magazine cover?

Jacqueline says something about Teresa seeing the truth about herself.  Ha!  Jacqueline is so naive. Minus 11.  I don't see Jacqueline being able to keep their relationship casual in a way that she doesn't end up in tears yet again.

Then we're off to do some wine tasting. Why in Hell would Chris invite the Guidices and Gorgas along if he wanted to make a good impression on his new business associates?  Minus 15.  What was he thinking?

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by Nosy Neighbor at

As The Real Housewives of New Jersey make their way through northern California, they warn that "If This RV Is a Rockn'" run in the other direction.

We break down all the laughs, tears, and unexpected nudity in THG's +/- recap:

Why can't Joe Gorga keep it in his pants. He insists on taking his equipment out and showing anyone within view? Why does Vito moon his girlfriend's brothers and pretend to have a tattoo? Why am I watching this show?

Joe Gorga Shows Off

Some questions have no answers but the Housewives and family are still crammed into RVs and wreaking havoc on northern California.  Plus 10 for taking their special brand of lunacy on the road.

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by Nosy Neighbor at

The Real Housewives of New Jersey are headed to Napa...the long way. "Pack Your Baggage" finds the ladies camping in heels. We recap all of the stupidity in our THG +/- review.

The show opens with the recap of Caroline commenting that Albie hasn't had a serious girlfriend in about two year but how he should really be concentrating on work. Minus 7. Albie's a grown man. Can't he have a career and a girlfriend?  You'd think mom would want him to be happy.

Well Momma Caroline might not be pleased when she hears that Albie's asked Lindsey to move in.  Actually Albie, Chris and Greg all ask her to move in and it really is kind of sweet.  Plus 10. Nice job boys.

Road Trip Videos

But the trip to California is closing in almost as fast as hurricane Irene but that's not about to stop this crew. With the airports closed they ditch their kids on their parents and drive several hours to catch a flight out of Pittsburgh. Plus 8 for sheer determination.

Did we really have to witness both Joes peeing on the side of the road? Were the fast food restaurant bathrooms not good enough for them. Do their mommies need to remind them to go before they leave? Minus 12.

It takes a road trip and two flights to get this crew to San Francisco. What do they do when they're bored on a road trip? Watch videos of cows having sex of course. Minus 9.

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by Nosy Neighbor at

The Real Housewives of New Jersey try to "Sit Down and Man Up" before the big trip to Napa. Will any of it help them avoid complete and utter disaster? Let's recap all of the planning meetings of a vacation destined for failure in our THG +/- review.

Teresa's brand just continues to grow. She's got the books. Now she's planning on a line of Teresa aprons, her own specialty Bellini and maybe even T's pasta. Where will it end?

This all may be Teresa's dream but Joe can't keep his nose out of the middle of it. Minus 10 when he can't let Teresa get a word in edgewise during her meeting at the winery. 

But a big plus 15 because someone finally told Teresa that ingrediences is not a word! How many seasons has that taken?

Teresa's Dirty Laundry

Did anyone else find it funny that Joe was telling Teresa that her driving sucks when only one of them has a valid driver's license and it's not him?

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by Nosy Neighbor at

The Real Housewives of New Jersey look for some help from a professional but when it's all just "Temporary Shrinkage" can you expect the results to last? We recap all of the drama of therapy in this week's THG +/- review!

Is that really just a garage Joe and Teresa are building back there?

It's bigger than most single family homes but then again do these two know how to do anything normal? Minus 10.

But Plus 8 for appearances. The Guidice kids may act like brats but they look adorable in those matching overalls and even Joe seems more human as he tries to teach his little girls how to spread the concrete.

Teresa and Joe Giudice Pic

In an unexpected surprise Rosie shows up on the Guidice doorstep ticked off because of all the things she's read about Teresa putting down her sister. Minus 9. That's been going on for over a year now. What took her so long?

Teresa just looks at her perplexed as though she doesn't know what she's talking about and remarks that she doesn't store things in her brain. Yeah. No kidding. 

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by Nosy Neighbor at

How does a Real Housewife of New Jersey hit rock bottom? When she has no one left to hear her whine. That's the place Teresa Guidice found herself in during last night's episode, "Public Displays of Rejection."

We break down all the drama below in THG's +/- recap!

What doesn't Teresa understand? Jacqueline was upset about the magazine saying she was going to jail and confronted her about it. Minus 10 because I don't see what's the big deal.

Teresa and Joe Giudice Pic

But Teresa calls it an ambush. I'll give her a Plus 3 because once Caroline jumped into the fray it sort of felt like one but that wasn't Jacqueline's intention. Teresa's biggest issue is that she can never see someone else's point of view.

When she runs home to cry on Joe's shoulder he gives his typical response. He tells her she has him and she doesn't need anyone else so move on. Minus 12. It always feels like Teresa's husband is trying to isolate her from the rest of the world. Maybe it's because the less friends she has, the less likely she is to leave his sorry butt.

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by Nosy Neighbor at

What happens when best friends decide to have a chat?

On The Real Housewives of New Jersey, it apparently ends up including lots of screaming and hand gestures and ends up with "Best Friends For Never." 

We break down all the finger-flailing drama in THG's +/- recap!

Teresa and Joe are still in the middle of their bankruptcy proceeding and the tabloids say Teresa may have to do prison time for fraud. They allege she knowingly withheld assets including her $250,000 book advance for Skinny Italian.

Yet somehow not only do they still live in their big fancy house but they're adding a carport and a huge garage with an upstairs apartment?

Minus 15. If this is bankruptcy then sign me up.

Teresa Giudice, Hat

The visit to their lawyer left more questions than answers. How much debt are these two in that they can't pay it off with Teresa's book sales? I can only imagine that the money they waste in a month could support most families for a year. Minus 10.

Plus 12 to Chris. I couldn't believe he'd offered to buy all of their auction items and give them back to Joe and Teresa. Friendship or foolishness? The guy certainly has a good heart.

Which was certainly in evidence with all the crap he's put up with with Jacqueline's daughter Ashlee. Heck, Chris lasted longer than her own dad. He's already had enough of his daughter down in Texas and is ready to ship her off to California. 

Plus 8. It's about they let the spoiled brat head out on her own. She needs a good dose of reality and she won't get that with her family constantly paying her bills while she runs off and parties.

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by Free Britney at

On this week's episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, "True Love, True Lies," we saw plenty of both as the gang partied both in Chicago and down at the Shore.

We break down all the love, laughs, and lies in THG's +/- recap!

Teresa is on the cover of yet another magazine?!? But really, is anyone shocked. If Teresa's in this for any reason it's certainly the fame…and the money. 

Plus 10 because the most amusing part is that no one can stop talking about the puppy. There on the cover of In Touch magazine is canine phobic Teresa with a cuddly pup. Of course it wasn't her idea.

RHONJ Stars

The celebrity news magazine brought the adorable pooch along for the photo shoot. Maybe they were trying to soften Teresa's slightly tarnished image.

In the article Teresa claims her friends bully her because of her financial problems. Minus 8. Teresa never met a dollar she couldn't spend. It certainly doesn't look like she's buying the kid's clothes at Walmart. 

But who needs money when you've got love. Unfortunately we were treated to Teresa trying to give Joe a wake up call in Chicago which included a shot of the lube they used on their bedside table.

Did we really need to see that? Minus 15. Then Joe mentions giving himself his own wake up call. That's just way too much information.

As if that weren't enough we got a lovely glimpse into some romantic pillow talk between Joe and Teresa…

Joe: "Your breath smells ilke hot dogs from last night."
Teresa: "My breath smells like your hot dog."

If that doesn't make you feel all warm and fuzzy then I don't know what will. Minus 20 while I go find my toothbrush and try to burn that piece of dialogue from my brain.

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by Free Britney at

This week's episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, "Uncivil Union," had nothing to do with the upcoming gay wedding and everything to do with the family drama between friends and siblings ... what else is new.

We break down all the crass comments and wardrobe disasters in THG's +/- recap!

Caroline's brother Jaime is getting married to his partner Rich at their place in Chicago which looks like a cross between a Swiss chalet and a miniature golf course.

I can't say I've ever seen anything like it but Plus 20 to the happy couple. Too bad the rest of their family and friends can't follow their example.

All Eyes on the Wedding

The dress code for the big day consists of floral prints and pastels and an emphasis on hats for the ladies. Plus 10 because who hasn't wanted an excuse to wear one of those ridiculous looking English hats. 

Considering what some of the rest of the ladies were wearing this episode, the silly hats weren't looking so bad. 

Take Teresa who hangs out at home in a tube top, hot pink Daisy Dukes, and those strange leather string boots. And Minus 7 for letting the baby toddle around in those four inch heels. I was just waiting for her to topple over and the crying to begin.

Then we had Kim D. hanging out in her string bikini. Minus 12. Between the fake boobs and the sun damaged skin I wanted to beg her to put on a shirt.

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by Free Britney at

The Real Housewives of New Jersey had a field day last night. 

No, really. They called it Field Day when the whole gang got together to have some fun. So who can't get through the day without a meltdown? 

We'll break it all down for you in THG's +/- review.

Teresa Giudice on The Real Housewives of NJ

Teresa Giudice heads home after Kathy's party and tells Joe all about the argument with her brother. Well, that's a mistake. Wasn't she just telling her brother that he shouldn't share their conversations with his wife?

Minus 10. She should really take her own advice.

Joe Guidice reaction has become so typical of him I'm no longer surprised. He tells his wife, "You're a f**kin' idiot for even talking to your f**kin' brother." 

Nice. Minus 12.

But it actually gets worse. After cursing out his brother-in-law he tells Teresa the Gorgas aren't allowed in his home. When Teresa says that will upset her parents Guidice says he'll kick them out too. 

He ends his tirade by telling her, "When I say something, you f**kin' listen and shut up," and if she doesn't he threatens to leave her and the kids.

What a guy. Minus 20.

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