Jacqueline Laurita

The Real Housewives of New Jersey made their way back from the shore this week to play a little poker and kick one little Jersey girl out of the her luxurious nest.

We break down all the drama in our patented THG +/- recap below!

Say bye bye. That was Jacqueline's response as Ashlee whined about packing to leave for Vegas. Plus 10 because it was so pathetic it was funny.

They sent her off with Albie to avoid a family meltdown at the airport hoping that she'd get on the plane without incident. It sounds good…in theory.

Minus 7 because Albie couldn't be bothered to park the car and walk his wayward cousin to the security checkpoint. Instead he drops her at the curb and there's no doubt she'll be home by dark.

Sure enough, Albie gets the call as he's driving home. Somehow Ashlee missed her flight. Minus 12. This girl is pathetic. I know it's because she doesn't want to go but it is sad when a 20-year-old can't check herself in at an airport. 

Chris is right, his step-daughter has no common sense. Her answer to stress is wishing she could buy herself a drink. Ashlee may be headed down a hard road all of her own making. 

This time Chris drives her to the airport to make sure it's done right. Plus 10. At home Jacqueline looks at pictures of her little girl and cries. I understand she's upset but it's not like some awful tragedy has befallen her daughter. Ashlee's a spoiled brat and when people stop handing her stuff maybe she'll grow up.

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey are back and the feuding continues, but this time they're leaving their McMansions and taking it down to the Jersey shore.

Let's assess all the cussing, name calling, and backstabbing in THG +/- review!

It looks like no one has talked much since Teresa Guidice's infamous cookbook came out. Between the digs about her being as Italian as the Olive Garden and rehashing her son's brilliant idea for a strip car wash, Caroline Manzo is still pretty ticked off. 

The two women end up meeting at a party at Jacqueline's and Caroline's doing an admirable job of freezing Teresa out but Teresa wants to talk. She says she wants to clear the air. Minus 10 because why wait for a family party to do that?

Why not just pick up the phone or go on over to Caroline's? I suppose the show wouldn't be fun if any of it made sense.

So Teresa apologizes…sort of.

"I think you misread it because if you really read it good you'd realize I didn't insult you." Really?  hat's your idea of an apology? Telling someone you didn't read it good? Minus 15 and I'm not even counting the grammar issues.

Teresa just keeps repeating that it was all a joke but Teresa's the only one who finds it funny.

And apparently this is not a good time to be messing with Caroline. She's going though menopause and isn't thrilled when her doctor tells her she's getting old. Plus 8 because even she admits she may go super bitch on someone who crosses her right now.

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There are evil people out there – and sometimes they come in the shape of your friends. - Teresa Giudice 

Run away, coward. Like you always do! - Melissa Gorga

When you associate with scum, you become scum. - Kathy Wakile

The Real Housewives of New Jersey kicks off season four on April 22 and, you won't believe this, but major drama is on the way, as evidenced by the aforementioned quotes, all of which are included in the following trailer. Intrigued? We thought you might be.

Prepare for scripted insanity and get an idea of what's on the way to Bravo now:

The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 4 Preview

Are we headed for a cast shake-up on The Real Housewives of New Jersey?

According to the latest issue of Reality Weekly, Bravo is pondering major changes to this installment of its popular franchise, as Jacqueline Laurita and Caroline Manzo would be the most likely to go if the network goes in a new direction.

“They’re always looking for new cast members that would add something to the show,” an insider says. “They’ve been heavily courting a few people from other networks who have shows.”

Both Laurita and Manzo have played a role on the series since season one, but loyalty isn't relevant, this source adds. Only Teresa Giudice is guaranteed to return next season, the premiere date for which has not yet been announced.

Who do you want to see leave The Real Housewives of New Jersey?

Jacqueline Laurita did not show up at last Sunday's Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion special, and now we know why.

Correction: now a supermarket tabloid has quoted anonymous sources who claims to know why, and it's not because Teresa Giudice is scum.

According to the latest issue of In Touch Weekly, Laurita worked as an exotic dancer in Las Vegas back in the day and was afraid this information would be leaked on the episode... by Danielle Staub?!?

“She feared that Danielle Staub would make a surprise appearance and tell all about Jacqueline’s stripping past," a source tells the magazine. "She didn’t want to face the truth. At the time, she was a single mom who needed to dance at a club in order to pay her bills. She has confirmed her stripper past to multiple friends who are covering up for her - she is telling everyone to deny it!”

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Dina Manzo may have recently come out and stood up for Teresa Giudice, but an insider tells Us Weekly fans of The Real Housewives of New Jersey should not expect the same thing to happen with Jacqueline Laurita.

Laurita "will never speak to Teresa again," this source claims.

Jacqueline, of course, did not show up for last Sunday's Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion special.

Caroline Manzo did... but she "hasn't spoken to Teresa in months," this mole adds, saying simply: "Everyone's fighting with Teresa."

What about the relationship between Melissa Gorga and her sister-in-law? They chat occasionally, but merely for "family stuff." Gorga chides Giudice for her attempts to tear their loved ones apart and says of the reunion:

"It was dramatic and painful to watch."

That second description is especially apt.

Jacqueline Laurita may be exiting The Real Housewives of New Jersey, but she's intent on landing a few blows against a castmate before she departs.

In response to a rumor this week that Melissa Gorga formerly worked as a stripper, Laurita has taken to Twitter and implied that Gorga's sister-in-law, Teresa Giudice, is behind the chatter.

"Teresa told me that 'rumor' about Melissa when she first started the show," Laurita Tweeted today. "She wanted her out then. She knew. She plotted it. She played dumb on camera and even defended Melissa."

"Teresa is scum!"

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Danielle Staub is a former drug dealing prostitute who spends her time on The Real Housewives of New Jersey surrounded by bodyguards with guns, lashing out at her castmates. She's also stalking them.

In other words: there are plenty of reasons to dislike this reality star. But Jacqueline Laurita has broken it down very simply for readers.

"She had a mission to destroy people," Laurita told People of her co-star's behavior on season two of the Bravo hit. "There was stuff going on that we didn’t talk about because it would draw too much attention to it. If we addressed the lies she was spreading, it [would] keep it going.”

Jacqueline's 19-year old daughter, Ashley, had her own run-in with Danielle during a country club brawl a few episodes ago.

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Love and light. Stay in the positive, bitch! - Ashley Holmes to Danielle Staub

Last night, Bravo offered up an unbeWEAVEable episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. The utter insanity was highlighted by a fight between Danielle Staub and Tersea Giudice, culminating in Ashley Holmes - the 19-year old daughter of Jacqueline Laurita - yanking out Staub's hair extension.

The writers of this installment deserve an Emmy, though Holmes posted this week on her Facebook page yesterday: "YIKES... not one of my finest moments in life."

Police were called to the scene of the chaos, which was filmed months ago.

Therefore, Laurita has had time to reflect on the events and Tweeted late last week:

"It's like at train-wreck you can't look away from... We are a disgrace! It's bad. Shameful but... a little bit humorous, dare I say, in parts. Hope we can still be friends. Lol!"

Friends?!? Bravo likely just gave you all raises and lifetime contracts. Go out and celebrate! We know where you can find a good coke whore for the occasion...

When Kim Kardashian bent over for Ray J on tape, it didn't hurt her family. In fact, that act eventually led to a reality show and global fame for a group of individuals no one would ever have heard of if Kim didn't take one for her siblings.

(Literally!)

Similarly, while she may be crying a river in interviews, Kendra Wilkinson's publicized intercourse will pad her and her husband's bank account by nine figures. Hard to sympathize with her family for that decision.

However, Danielle Staub is a 47-year old mother of two and fellow Real Housewife of New Jersey Jacqueline Laurita can't believe Danielle would expose her children to such filth as these photos and their affiliated video.

Laurita Tweeted yesterday: "Heard from a VERY reliable source that D (Danielle) released her OWN sex tape. Heard it's disgusting. Such disregard 4 her kids. I feel horrible 4 them."

So do we. But to give Staub the tiniest shred of credit: at least she is aware the tape will be released on June 14 and hasn't pretended like this is some horrible, unwanted violation of her privacy.

She's an irresponsible mother and troubled human being that clearly played a role in the production and distribution of this tape - but, hey, at least she admits it.

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