Howard Stern

After this year's Academy Awards, while most viewers were praising the personality and presence of Gabourey Sidibe at the ceremony, Howard Stern was taking a different stance.

On the air, he referred to the Oscar nominee as "an enormous woman the size of a planet."

In response, Jamiee Foxx called Stern out, seemingly inviting a feud between the stars and saying he hopes it gets "hot" because Stern "hasn't really made a big splash in a long time."

Relevance in the entertainment universe challenged, Stern replied to the actor this week, playing the same immature, uncreative card that's been played in so many arguments between men: Oh yeah? You're gay!

"He seems to be in some bizarre thing where he wants to start in with me so that he can get some attention for his channel on [radio show] Foxxhole, which is an interesting name too. The hole. I wonder which hole they're referring to? How many holes are in Jamie? He's got an ass and a mouth. I don't know what he does with them," Stern said, adding:

"It's interesting that he chose the name Jamie, I could get into the whole f-cking thing... My guess is we're probably not on the same team. I think he's playing for a way different team. I don't know what team he's on, but it ain't my team."

Foxx's take?

"I'm not gay... A lot of people say that I'm gay and that doesn't bother me, because I could eat a pizza in a male shower and not feel anything because I'm secure with myself. And I'm not gonna take that, Coward Stern. I'm not gonna take that from a person who has chronic gonorrhea."

So, to review: Stern says Foxx is gay. Foxx replies by making up a nickname for Stern and claiming he has an STD.

It may be tough to choose a winner in this intelligent debate, but do your best: Whose side are you on?

Radio magnate Howard Stern held his long-awaited beauty pageant for Tiger Woods' mistresses Wednesday, with Jaime Jungers taking home the dubious honors.

To the victor goes a $75,000 cash prize. And that to the hush money he likely paid to keep her from blabbing to the press or Elin Woods, and she did pretty well!

Jamie Jungers' win came after she answered most of the leering questions the radio legend threw her way, including those about Woods' anatomical endowments.

She's a classy chick, no doubt.

Also competing in the contest, which is simultaneously sad, absurd and hilarious, were Loredana Jolie and Jaimee Grubbs, who pocketed $15,000 as runners-up.

Jamie Jungers takes home the prestigious honor.

It was no surprise to see Grubbs taking part in the pageant, given that she shamelessly sold Tiger Woods' voicemail and has given umpteen interviews about him.

Loredana Jolie? No surprise there either. We would have loved to see a higher turnout, though. What else do you have going on, Cori Rist? Or you, Theresa Rogers?

Rachel Uchitel was barred from competing, due to her settlement with Tiger, which might have altered the results. Did the right woman win? Vote in our poll below!

Did Jamie deserve to win this prestigious honor, or should it have gone to another cocktail waitress? Which Tiger Woods mistress is the hottest?

She'd be down, but due to her settlement with Tiger Woods, Rachel Uchitel cannot participate in the mistress beauty pageant that Howard Stern wants to throw.

Sad, we know. But this is Howard Stern we're talking about. He is a resourceful, driven individual, and he's not about to let this genius idea fall by the wayside.

One of Rachel's friends approached Howard's people today, asking that a cardboard version of Rachel in various states of dress could compete in the pageant.

Yes, really. Stern's show is trying to put it together and offer a $100,000 prize. Best of all? He's already got four Tiger Woods mistresses lined up to take part.

Living, breathing ones!

Rachel Uchitel was Tiger Woods' favorite mistress, and the first to be exposed. She'd likely win a beauty contest of all of his mistresses, if she were allowed to take part.

He's not saying who, but you know Jaimee Grubbs is game, and rest assured, a cardboard cutout of Rachel Uchitel could still easily win this title.

Joslyn James, Tiger? Really? Theresa Rogers? Honestly, dude?

In case you were unaware, the reason Uchitel can't participate is because of the seven-figure deal she signed with his camp to keep quiet about their affair.

This apparently wouldn't constitute discretion ... wonder why.

Who do you think is the hottest Tiger Woods mistress?

On tomorrow night's broadcast, Ellen DeGeneres officially joins the American Idol judging table.

While we're looking forward to this debut, many viewers are already contemplating next season. Still shocked by the news of Simon Cowell's exit, they're left to wonder: who will replace this British icon?

Howard Stern has an idea: himself!

"I can't imagine anyone else but me replacing [Cowell]," Stern said today. "How else are they going to make that show work? Who knows how to broadcast and who knows how to be interesting? And who's not afraid to speak their mind?"

All good questions, but surely there's someone out there that's outspoken and more knowledgeable about music than he is about lesbians or sex toys.

Stern says quite clearly he'd do the show... if the money is right.

"It might be possible, we'll see," he said. "They'd have to pay me a ton of dough, because I already make a ton of dough."

Stern's five-year, $500 million contract with Sirius radio expires at the end of this year. Do you think he'd make a suitable replacement for Simon?

Artie Lange, Howard Stern's radio sidekick, landed in the hospital last weekend. News of his suicide attempt landed in New York Post’s Page Six a few days later.

It was the Post report that divulged how Artie stabbed himself nine times in attempted suicide. Surgeons were able to save Lange's life after he got to the hospital.

The stand-up comedian's family had been asking for privacy following reports that Lange was hospitalized, and Stern is pissed that the suicide report was leaked.

Stern personally had respected Artie's wishes to keep the reason for his hospital trip private, but spoke out Thursday regarding Artie’s exposed personal problems:

"I would love to know who the scumbag is who releases that to the press. This is a private matter," Stern said, lambasting whoever leaked the suicide details.

Details of Artie Lange's suicide attempt deeply upset Howard Stern.

"I don't know what to say. I work with Artie Lange, I love Artie. Everyone has their demons, including myself, but he's wrestling with some serious stuff here."

"When I heard the news it was too much to bear."

"I'm pissed off the story got out there, pissed off at the $h!thead who got paid 10 bucks to talk to Page Six. This is a family matter. I don't know what to say."

The New York Post posted an article today from an October interview with Artie Lange, in which he talks about his life and myriad struggles with addiction. 

We wish him the best as he tries to overcome obvious pain and struggles he's endured lately, both physically and emotionally. Hopefully he'll get well soon.

Jay Leno has left The Tonight Show for a new prime time series, but that was not about to stop Howard Stern from making his feelings about him known.

In summation, the shock jock ripped Leno during his appearance on last night's Late Show and vowed to help David Letterman take down Conan O'Brien.

"We gotta beat this Conan. For God sakes, how are you feeling that Jay left late-night television and now we got a new guy we gotta compete with?" the admittedly disgruntled, bitter old man Stern asked an amused Letterman.

"And I wanna say something to this audience about loyalty ... Dave put me on national television many, many years ago before I was known. And I have stuck with Dave ... I didn't like Jay. I never liked Jay. I can't stand Jay."

Howard Stern on Letterman

No arguments here - or from the studio audience that greeted the 55-year-old radio host's scathing, somewhat odd comments with big applause!

And Stern, who later talked about other important topics, such as his wedding to Beth Ostrosky, wasn't finished with Leno there by any means.

"Let me say something. I never seen anybody who behaves like a robot like this guy," he continued. "I watched his final show. He says goodbye to The Tonight Show. He says goodbye reading it off a teleprompter for cryin' out loud."

"Where's the emotion, and where's the humanity?"

Stern recounted his one and only appearance on The Tonight Show, when he "showed up with two lesbians," which naturally turned off Leno:

"He's shocked. He walks off his own show. I knew it wouldn't last."

Howard Stern is, indeed, a married men.

Many readers didn't believe the shock jock would go through with the concept of seeing just one woman naked for the rest of his life, but the following photo is proof that Beth Ostrosky has captured Stern's heart:

During the wedding ceremony, each half of the couple recited self-written vows. In his, Stern told Ostrosky she was the love of is life. As a result, "people were crying," a guest says. "The vows were from each others' hearts."

Celebrities in attendance included Joan Rivers, Barbara Walters, Billy Joel and wife Katie Lee, Jimmy Kimmel, Sarah Silverman and Kelly Ripa.

We wish Beth Ostrosky the best of luck.

She officlally became Mrs. Howard Stern yesterday, tying the knot with controversial DJ Howard Stern at New York City restaurant Le Cirque.

Kelly Ripa's husband, former All My Children star Mark Consuelos, performed the ceremony.

"The night was perfect," Ostrosky told Us Weekly. "Mark Consuelos was the greatest rev on the face of the earth."

How long do you think this marriage will last?

We already knew that Beth Ostrosky and Howard Stern were set to get married.

But earlier reports had scheduled the ceremony for October.

Now, however, we're receiving word that the beauty will tie the knot with the radio host in a civil ceremony this weekend in the Hamptons.

Former All My Children star - and current Kelly Ripa husband - Mark Consuelos will marry the couple, as he's actually an ordained minister. We'll have more on these nuptials after they take place.

Yes, Howard Stern somehow managed to land Beth Ostrosky. It's unclear how.

Thank you to People magazine for collecting the following ...

"Probably Patrick Swayze. My dream come true."
â€" Harvard's Hasty Pudding award winner Scarlett Johansson (pictured here, at the award ceremony), on which famous guy she'd most likely be linked with romantically

"Any girl who looks like that and thinks she's fat â€" I've got a chance with her."
â€" Howard Stern, on his surprise Valentine's Day proposal to model girlfriend Beth Ostrosky â€" after first ordering her to strip, on his Sirius Satellite Radio show

"If you think it is just about a major make-out session, you will be disappointed."
â€" Courteney Cox, on the chaste on-screen lip lock she shares with BFF Jennifer Aniston in an upcoming episode of Dirt

"I was 19, and I spoke very little English. The only thing I knew how to say was, 'I want to make a movie with Johnny Depp!'"
â€" Penélope Cruz, on memories of her first Oscar night in 1994, to Life magazine

"I want to be like Gandhi and Martin Luther King and John Lennon â€" but I want to stay alive."
â€" Madonna, on Sirius Satellite Radio

"Oh, what the f--- do you care!"
â€" David Letterman, swearing on his own late-night talk show to tease Factory Girl star Sienna Miller about her potty-mouthed interviews on American television

"That's brilliant ... I can't believe you just said the 'F' word."
â€" Sienna Miller

"I was just told that I should be grateful that he still talks to me, you know how many women throw themselves at him. And I just pretty much felt like a piece of crap."
â€" Kim Mathers, on how being twice-married to Eminem nearly drove her to suicide, on the Dr. Keith Ablow show

"Last year it was Tom Cruise. I could be the next Kathie Lee Gifford."
â€" Jim Carrey, on how in Hollywood you can quickly go from A-list star to the butt of the joke, to Time

"I've been on a diet my whole life."
â€" Liv Tyler, on how she spent years worrying about her weight until she became a mom two years ago, to Glamour

"These are photos I can show my kids some day, so I can say, 'See, momma was beautiful. Look how good I looked!'"
â€" Beyoncé, on her Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover shoot