by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Howard Stern is a lot more than a man who loves boobs and hates Jay Leno.

He's also a divorcee who tells Rolling Stone this month how much he suffered following his split from his first wife, Alison Burns.

"I was upset that I failed and let down my family, my kids, my ex-wife. It was all very painful," Stern says. "I was totally neurotic... I knew things weren't right, and I said, 'Gee, where am I going to get some answers?'"

Howard Stern on Rolling Stone

Stern turned to random sex once he was single. He explains:

"I was running around, picking up women. Then all of the sudden, it dawned on me that I really didn't need that much sex. I just wanted somebody with me ever minute. I was using women as a surrogate mother. When I tapped into that, it suddenly became very childish behavior."

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Howard Stern loves women with large breasts and little personality, so it should come as no surprise that he's coming to the defense of Kim Kardashian.

Earlier this week, the reality star was called on stage by Prince during a concert at Madison Square Garden. She proceeded to freeze, stand around like a mannequin and get dismissed from the spotlight.

But Stern, a fan of Prince as an artist, blames the musician for this embarrassing incident.

"Apparently she's supposed to dance like a stripper for him and she just stood there not knowing what to do," Stern said on his radio show yesterday. "He throws her off the stage because she can't read f--king Prince's mind. He's a bulls--t artist. I'm done with him."

Concluding by labeling Prince as a "scumbag," Stern said "he seems to be an arrogant asshole lately."

That may be true, but let's remember: Courteney Cox has a career because Bruce Springstein summoned her to the stage during a performance of "Dancing in the Dark." Kim could have shown the world a spontaneous, fun-loving side if she had responded in similar fashion to this sitcom star.

Instead, treating the opportunity like a professional athlete, she blew it.

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Howard Stern appeared on The Late Show with David Letterman last night and stayed true to a vow he made earlier in the day:

The radio host simply went off on Jay Leno. Saying he follows the late night talk show wars like "The Torah," Stern referred to The Tonight Show host as someone "horrible" with "no talent."

Letterman simply laughed along with Stern, who didn't give the CBS icon much time to respond. Instead, he continued on about Regis, Bill Cosby and a great deal more. Check out the interview now and then choose your team:

Which late night side are you on?

 

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Miley Cyrus has millions of fans around the globe.

We just didn't think a middle-aged disc jockey known for his extreme views and penchant for lesbians was among them.

As a guest on Piers Morgan Tonight this week, Howard Stern was asked about the current music scene. He initially made a joke about Miley basically stripping off all her clothes on stage, but then admitted that he's a fan of both this 18-year old artist and Lady Gaga.

Stern said he's even Googled Cyrus recently. And, yes, he knows how dirty that sounds...

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Howard Stern is not a fan of Jay Leno.

That's not exactly breaking news. But his tirade against Leno in his interview with Piers Morgan, set to air tonight on CNN, takes it to a new level.

The Sirius radio jock, who's made his feelings on The Tonight Show host known in the past, says Leno is "not fit to scrub David Letterman's feet."

Among Stern's complaints? Jay ganks jokes.

"Jay is insane. And Jay is a crook. And the world knows exactly what he's up to. He steals a tremendous amount of material," Stern told Morgan.

"This guy's ripped off like 10 major things from my show. I don't know how [Leno's] beating David Letterman in the ratings... America must be filled with morons who at night lay in bed... the ones who are watching him must be in a coma."

Yup, sums it up pretty well, we'd say.

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After this year's Academy Awards, while most viewers were praising the personality and presence of Gabourey Sidibe at the ceremony, Howard Stern was taking a different stance.

On the air, he referred to the Oscar nominee as "an enormous woman the size of a planet."

In response, Jamiee Foxx called Stern out, seemingly inviting a feud between the stars and saying he hopes it gets "hot" because Stern "hasn't really made a big splash in a long time."

Relevance in the entertainment universe challenged, Stern replied to the actor this week, playing the same immature, uncreative card that's been played in so many arguments between men: Oh yeah? You're gay!

"He seems to be in some bizarre thing where he wants to start in with me so that he can get some attention for his channel on [radio show] Foxxhole, which is an interesting name too. The hole. I wonder which hole they're referring to? How many holes are in Jamie? He's got an ass and a mouth. I don't know what he does with them," Stern said, adding:

"It's interesting that he chose the name Jamie, I could get into the whole f-cking thing... My guess is we're probably not on the same team. I think he's playing for a way different team. I don't know what team he's on, but it ain't my team."

  • Stern, Howard
  • Jamie Foxx Photograph

Foxx's take?

"I'm not gay... A lot of people say that I'm gay and that doesn't bother me, because I could eat a pizza in a male shower and not feel anything because I'm secure with myself. And I'm not gonna take that, Coward Stern. I'm not gonna take that from a person who has chronic gonorrhea."

So, to review: Stern says Foxx is gay. Foxx replies by making up a nickname for Stern and claiming he has an STD.

It may be tough to choose a winner in this intelligent debate, but do your best: Whose side are you on?

 

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Radio magnate Howard Stern held his long-awaited beauty pageant for Tiger Woods' mistresses Wednesday, with Jaime Jungers taking home the dubious honors.

To the victor goes a $75,000 cash prize. And that to the hush money he likely paid to keep her from blabbing to the press or Elin Woods, and she did pretty well!

Tiger Woods Rollin'

Jamie Jungers' win came after she answered most of the leering questions the radio legend threw her way, including those about Woods' anatomical endowments.

She's a classy chick, no doubt.

Also competing in the contest, which is simultaneously sad, absurd and hilarious, were Loredana Jolie and Jaimee Grubbs, who pocketed $15,000 as runners-up.

Jamie Jungers takes home the prestigious honor.

It was no surprise to see Grubbs taking part in the pageant, given that she shamelessly sold Tiger Woods' voicemail and has given umpteen interviews about him.

Loredana Jolie? No surprise there either. We would have loved to see a higher turnout, though. What else do you have going on, Cori Rist? Or you, Theresa Rogers?

Rachel Uchitel was barred from competing, due to her settlement with Tiger, which might have altered the results. Did the right woman win? Vote in our poll below!

Did Jamie deserve to win this prestigious honor, or should it have gone to another cocktail waitress? Which Tiger Woods mistress is the hottest?

 

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She'd be down, but due to her settlement with Tiger Woods, Rachel Uchitel cannot participate in the mistress beauty pageant that Howard Stern wants to throw.

Sad, we know. But this is Howard Stern we're talking about. He is a resourceful, driven individual, and he's not about to let this genius idea fall by the wayside.

One of Rachel's friends approached Howard's people today, asking that a cardboard version of Rachel in various states of dress could compete in the pageant.

Yes, really. Stern's show is trying to put it together and offer a $100,000 prize. Best of all? He's already got four Tiger Woods mistresses lined up to take part.

Living, breathing ones!

Rachel Uchitel was Tiger Woods' favorite mistress, and the first to be exposed. She'd likely win a beauty contest of all of his mistresses, if she were allowed to take part.

He's not saying who, but you know Jaimee Grubbs is game, and rest assured, a cardboard cutout of Rachel Uchitel could still easily win this title.

Joslyn James, Tiger? Really? Theresa Rogers? Honestly, dude?

In case you were unaware, the reason Uchitel can't participate is because of the seven-figure deal she signed with his camp to keep quiet about their affair.

This apparently wouldn't constitute discretion ... wonder why.

Who do you think is the hottest Tiger Woods mistress?

 

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On tomorrow night's broadcast, Ellen DeGeneres officially joins the American Idol judging table.

While we're looking forward to this debut, many viewers are already contemplating next season. Still shocked by the news of Simon Cowell's exit, they're left to wonder: who will replace this British icon?

Howard Stern has an idea: himself!

"I can't imagine anyone else but me replacing [Cowell]," Stern said today. "How else are they going to make that show work? Who knows how to broadcast and who knows how to be interesting? And who's not afraid to speak their mind?"

All good questions, but surely there's someone out there that's outspoken and more knowledgeable about music than he is about lesbians or sex toys.

Stern says quite clearly he'd do the show... if the money is right.

"It might be possible, we'll see," he said. "They'd have to pay me a ton of dough, because I already make a ton of dough."

Stern's five-year, $500 million contract with Sirius radio expires at the end of this year. Do you think he'd make a suitable replacement for Simon?

 

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Artie Lange, Howard Stern's radio sidekick, landed in the hospital last weekend. News of his suicide attempt landed in New York Post’s Page Six a few days later.

It was the Post report that divulged how Artie stabbed himself nine times in attempted suicide. Surgeons were able to save Lange's life after he got to the hospital.

The stand-up comedian's family had been asking for privacy following reports that Lange was hospitalized, and Stern is pissed that the suicide report was leaked.

Stern personally had respected Artie's wishes to keep the reason for his hospital trip private, but spoke out Thursday regarding Artie’s exposed personal problems:

"I would love to know who the scumbag is who releases that to the press. This is a private matter," Stern said, lambasting whoever leaked the suicide details.

Details of Artie Lange's suicide attempt deeply upset Howard Stern.

"I don't know what to say. I work with Artie Lange, I love Artie. Everyone has their demons, including myself, but he's wrestling with some serious stuff here."

"When I heard the news it was too much to bear."

"I'm pissed off the story got out there, pissed off at the $h!thead who got paid 10 bucks to talk to Page Six. This is a family matter. I don't know what to say."

The New York Post posted an article today from an October interview with Artie Lange, in which he talks about his life and myriad struggles with addiction. 

We wish him the best as he tries to overcome obvious pain and struggles he's endured lately, both physically and emotionally. Hopefully he'll get well soon.