by Hilton Hater at . Comments

TLC aired another episode of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo last night and, don't worry, we watched it so you would not have to.

And we've once again jotted down the best/worst/most nauseating quotes from an installment that found the show's six-year old star trying to speak Spanish...

"She feel like she gotta pee and s— at the same time." - Mama explaining Chickadee's labor pains.

"What does it look like I'm doing? Getting my finger stuck in my pussy?" - Mama giving Sugar Bear some lip.

"I kind of want to go spend time by myself." - Honey Boo Boo in mourning over Glitzy Pig.

"You better redneckognize!" - Honey Boo Boo to the cameraman.

"You got to wear this to bed tonight. That is smexy." - Mama to a Santa suit-wearing Sugar Bear.

"The thing I love about Glitzy is that she loves me." - Honey Boo Boo on her pig.

"I smell like a bowl of oyster stew so I gotta get clean." - Sugar Bear on why he must shower.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

There went Honey Boo Boo.

The six-year old beauty pageant contestant and her family of eccentrics were introduced to the world on Here Comes Honey Boo Boo last night. Did you watch?

Have your eyes returned to their sockets after viewing the shenanigans of the Thompson family? Or listening to them explain the origin of the word vagina? Fear not if you missed either of the first two episodes.

We've run down the top quotes from Honey Boo Boo and her relatives below, courtesy of last night's frightening hour-long premiere:

Our hair has always been washed in the kitchen sink. - Mama on the family's cleaning habits.

All that vajiggle jaggle is not beautimus. - Mama, judging the locals.

I likes to get in the mud because I like to get dirty like a pig. - Honey Boo Boo on one of her hobbies.

We came. We conquered. We done what needed to be done. - Mama on her family.

My mother has told me in the past that if you fart 12-15 times a day you can lose a little weight, so I think I'll lose a lot of weight because I'm going to fart a lot. - Chubbs on dieting.

My mama weighs the most in my family because she's fat. Truth. - Honey Boo Boo, stating the obvious.

I'll stop passing gas when I'm dead. - Pumpkin just being Pumpkin.

No one can be proper and etiquettely all the time. - Mama, addressing critics.

It's called a biscuit because it looks like a biscuit and it opens up. - Mama explaining a nickname for her private part and... oh God, we're gonna be sick...