by Hilton Hater at

The Honey Badger is one crazy, nasty ass creature. As one wildly popular and hilarious video once warned us, you do NOT want to mess with this animal.

He doesn't give a you-know-what. He will simply take you and yours down!

Remind you of another (unfortunately) beloved specimen? One whose popularity continues to sky-rocket and who may earn more votes than the Republican nominee for President?

Yes, we're talking about Honey Boo Boo and her eerie similarities to the Honey Badger. See what we mean in the following video:

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by Hilton Hater at

Here's an idea: perhaps Honey Boo Boo should have spoken at the Republican National Convention.

No way she'd do a worse job than Clint Eastwood.

Ratings for Here Comes Honey Boo Boo on TLC reached a series high on Wednesday, increasing a whopping 30 percent from the previous edition's record-setter, as three million households tuned in to watch Honey Boo Boo and her family go to a waterpark.

Honey Boo Boo Photo

Based on the initial Nielson report, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo earned a a 1.3 rating among adults 18-49, narrowly edging coverage of the RNC on Fox News: it could only muster a 1.2 in that same time period.

What makes her show so popular, aside from the fact that it rarely mentions boring issues such as tax rates and avoids the controversy of "legitimate rape?" Said June Shannon to Ryan Seacrest:

"Our fan base tells us that when they have a bad day they can be able to watch our show and be able to get a good laugh; I honestly laugh at the show too because it is kind of funny, because we know we have fun filming it. It's just all about having fun making memories."

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by Hilton Hater at

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo aired an episode last night that focuses on pregnant, pageants and the equivalent of poop in a can.

Yup, it was just another evening in Georgia with Alana Thompson and family last night, as we've rundown the most noteworthy scenes and nauseating one-liners below, grading them on THG's patented +/- curve....

Honey Boo Boo Picture

Chickadee (aka Anna) spends a medicated night in the hospital due to contractions she describes as pain "going through my vajayjay." MINUS 12 for lack of originality. We'd have accepted anything clam-related here.

Alana then asks a bunch of questions to her bedridden sister at home, mostly focusing on her own tummy incidents of the past: "When my belly hurts, it's usually gas or too many chicken nuggets." PLUS 6 for making us miss the innocent life of being a child.

Honey Boo Boo proceeds to say she hopes for a family one day. A very big family. "I want to have thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands." MINUS 47 because... no. God, no, no no, please no.

Continue Reading...

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by Hilton Hater at

It's a matter of public record: June Shannon, the… eccentric mother of six-year old Alana Thompson (aka "Honey Boo Boo") was arrested in 2008 on a count related to a child support issue.

She also faced a theft charge around that time, but both cases were dismissed.

In March, meanwhile, child services looked into the Thompsons after Honey Boo Boo was featured on an episode of Toddlers and Tiaras chugging a mixture of Red Bull and Mountain Dew dubbed by Alana as "Go-Go Juice."

Mother of Honey Boo Boo

Is that something the family gives its toddler often? No, June tells People: "It was a one time only thing. We don't do it."

What about when a video surfaced of Honey Boo Boo dancing on a bar, another incident investigated by the the Georgia Division of Family and Children Services?

"It was the worst four days of my whole entire life," June says, explaining that the bar appearance was "a meet-and-greet at a concert" and: "After I left, I realized, 'I'm not gonna put Alana in that situation again because it was crazy.'"

Coming from June Shannon, that's really saying something.

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by Hilton Hater at

TLC aired another episode of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo last night and, don't worry, we watched it so you would not have to.

And we've once again jotted down the best/worst/most nauseating quotes from an installment that found the show's six-year old star trying to speak Spanish...

"She feel like she gotta pee and s— at the same time." - Mama explaining Chickadee's labor pains.

"What does it look like I'm doing? Getting my finger stuck in my pussy?" - Mama giving Sugar Bear some lip.

"I kind of want to go spend time by myself." - Honey Boo Boo in mourning over Glitzy Pig.

"You better redneckognize!" - Honey Boo Boo to the cameraman.

"You got to wear this to bed tonight. That is smexy." - Mama to a Santa suit-wearing Sugar Bear.

"The thing I love about Glitzy is that she loves me." - Honey Boo Boo on her pig.

"I smell like a bowl of oyster stew so I gotta get clean." - Sugar Bear on why he must shower.

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by Hilton Hater at

In March, the parents of Alana "Honey Boo" Thompson, were reportedly visited by Family and Children Services, who somehow did NOT find a reason to prosecute June Shannon and her husband "Sugar Bear."

Despite, among many other reasons, that one of them is named Sugar Bear.

But we can now confirm that June has a separate criminal history, as she was arrested in 2008 in Henry County, Georgia.

The 33-year old was booked on counts of contempt of court and theft. Not much information is available aside from the charges themselves, but her mug shot has been located - and it's a classic:

June Shannon Mug Shot

“You have to take pride in how you look," June said on a recent Here Comes Honey Boo episode. "Granted, I ain’t the most beautimous out the box, but a little paint on this barn, shine it back to its original condition. Cause it shines up like it’s brand new.

"There’s a lot of people that are bigger than me. They got five hundred chins. I only got about two or three, but I embrace it.”

We really can't add anything to that quote. It speaks for itself.

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by Hilton Hater at

According to a new report in The National Enquirer, the parents of Honey Boo Boo aren't just groan-worthy reality stars.

There was a time when they were considered law-breaking child abusers.

The tabloid claims that the Thompsons were visited by the Georgia Division of Family and Children Services in March, not long after a Toddler & Tiaras clip (below) aired of June Thompson giving her child "Go Go Juice" and roadkill for dinner.

A source tells the magazine that authorities made the unannounced visit and "found reason to bring the case to court." But a "court-appointed attorney" for the family somehow convinced the judge to "throw it out."

Now, of course, the Thompsons star on Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, which premiered last week to 2.2 million viewers.

Through just three episodes, the six-year old star has gone mud belly flop diving... adopted a pet pig named Glitzy... attended local food auctions with her mom... and helped June purchase more than a dozen packets of chocolate milk powder during a single supermarket visit, thanks to Extreme Couponing.

Can someone please call Family and Children Services again?

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by Hilton Hater at

Sorry, but she's about to come again.

On Wednesday, TLC will air its second night of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, the nauseating reality show that follows around very young beauty pageant contender Alana Thompson and her family.

On this installment, the eccentric clan will go Extreme Couponing, a venture mother June labels as "better than sex." Watch them save a bundle at a local Piggly Wiggly now and try as hard as you can to get the image of Mama having sex out of your head.

We're really sorry about that...

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by Hilton Hater at

It's disturbing but official: America loves Honey Boo Boo.

Or maybe America just loves to scoff at her antics. Or maybe America will be so turned off by the premiere of her family's reality show that next week's ratings plummet.

For one night, however, this six-year and her outgoing family ruled the dial, with Wednesday's opening two episodes of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo garnering 2.2 million viewers, making the show number-one on ad-supported cable in its time slot among among women of almost all ages.

Relive the installment now via these Honey Boo Boo quotes and sound off: Were you horrified or entertained by the premiere?

What do you think of the Thompsons?

 

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by Hilton Hater at

There went Honey Boo Boo.

The six-year old beauty pageant contestant and her family of eccentrics were introduced to the world on Here Comes Honey Boo Boo last night. Did you watch?

Have your eyes returned to their sockets after viewing the shenanigans of the Thompson family? Or listening to them explain the origin of the word vagina? Fear not if you missed either of the first two episodes.

We've run down the top quotes from Honey Boo Boo and her relatives below, courtesy of last night's frightening hour-long premiere:

Our hair has always been washed in the kitchen sink. - Mama on the family's cleaning habits.

All that vajiggle jaggle is not beautimus. - Mama, judging the locals.

I likes to get in the mud because I like to get dirty like a pig. - Honey Boo Boo on one of her hobbies.

We came. We conquered. We done what needed to be done. - Mama on her family.

My mother has told me in the past that if you fart 12-15 times a day you can lose a little weight, so I think I'll lose a lot of weight because I'm going to fart a lot. - Chubbs on dieting.

My mama weighs the most in my family because she's fat. Truth. - Honey Boo Boo, stating the obvious.

I'll stop passing gas when I'm dead. - Pumpkin just being Pumpkin.

No one can be proper and etiquettely all the time. - Mama, addressing critics.

It's called a biscuit because it looks like a biscuit and it opens up. - Mama explaining a nickname for her private part and... oh God, we're gonna be sick...

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