by Free Britney at . Comments

Spencer Pratt is out of control. We've known this for some time at THG, but now it has gotten to the point where even his friends and family see he is losing it.

Last night's episode of The Hills, "This is Goodbye," focused on Heidi's husband's deteriorating mental health, as well as Brody and Kristin's renewed romance.

Here's The Hollywood Gossip's official Hills rundown, plus-minus style:

Holly and Stephanie lament being the only sane ones left in their families. Never mind that both of them have serious, well-publicized drinking issues. Plus 9.

After Holly rehashes how Spencer called the cops on Heidi's mom, Steph says Speidi has no friends. Charlie is rolling in his grave as we speak. Minus 4.

Heidi and Kristin are friends? Were they always? Hard to keep track. Plus 3.

Spencer looks like he needs a hug.

"Who am I without Spencer?" Heidi ponders. Hmm. Probably a reasonably cute, harmless, not brainwashed chick with friends and real-looking breasts. Minus 37.

Audrina Patridge visits her boyfriend Ryan Cabrera at the studio. He's apparently still under contract? Minus 2. But Plus 8 for his decision to skip that night's drama.

Venturing out of his hole for once, Spencer calls Audrina the "lamest girl in the club" which sparks an argument between himself and Brody. Like old times. Plus 5.

Heidi Montag has a threefold excuse for Spencer: 1. He has stuff on his mind (Minus 3). 2. All guys are controlling (Minus 6). 3. She changed herself (Minus 12).

Most awkward clubbing moments ever: Heidi Montag shows her crystals collection to Kristin as Spencer says Heidi doesn't watch TV or use the computer. Plus 20.

OMG, Brody and Kristin are, like, so meant to be ... but single!

Holly and Stephanie say they are done with Heidi and Spencer, while Kristin Cavallari and Brody Jenner get down on the floor and eventually leave together. Plus 9.

The next day, Kristin says what they have going is good, whatever it is. Brody says he likes being single, and Kristin does too. Holla at friends with benefits! Plus 18.

Obligatory Lo scene! Steph says that she is flipping between being angry and sad over Heidi and Spencer. Blah, blah, blah. Stephanie and Lo are so boring. Minus 7.

The girls all are told by MTV agree to completely cut off Mr. and Mrs. Spencer Pratt. No communication at all. Plus 5 for effort, but we give it about half an episode.

TOTAL: +4. SEASON: +55. Basically, it was an episode in which everyone agrees Speidi is insane, and Brody macked on Kristin. Boilerplate stuff, but we'll take it.

by Free Britney at . Comments

The third episode of The Hills' final season reintroduced Brody Jenner and Kristin Cavallari as lovebirds. Because ... they used to date and we're out of other options?

Last night's episode, "Elephant in the Room," found these two pondering a staged reconnection, while he also pondered his supposed "crush" on Audrina Patridge.

Meanwhile, Spencer Pratt absolutely went off the rails at Holly Montag. Below, The Hollywood Gossip breaks down all the Hills action with its trademark +/- scale:

Kristin doesn't know if she likes being around Spencer. Does anyone? Plus 3.

Brody on Audrina and Ryan getting serious: "Whatever!" Brody is apparently a 'tween girl. Minus 4, because he's also being forced to care about Ryan by MTV.

Brody and Kristin are meant to be ... MTV decided this week.

We said this yesterday, but if you're parents to a seven-year-old, is there anything worse than a party thrown by Speidi? Were Tiger Woods' mistresses busy? Minus 5.

Audrina and Ryan are at the bowling alley. Audrina talks about Brody Jenner, her past and adds that Brody now has a crush on her. Ooh, the fake plot thickens! Plus 6.

It's time for "the talk" with Ryan. Plus 2, 'cause Ryan is just excited he's landed this gig on The Hills and retained any level of fame. Remember when he was a singer?

Audzo says every time she calls Heidi, Spencer is right there. Kristin Cavallari says Spencer is controlling her. Minus 3 for the girls being three years late to that party.

Spencer, when asked where Stephanie is: "I have a sister?" Plus 10.

Spencer, when Holly Montag dares defend their mother, Darlene, for speaking her mind about Heidi Montag's plastic surgery: "You can leave my property." Plus 11.

Spencer Pratt is seriously losing it.

Ryan wants their relationship to be drama free and the "best relationship ever." Dude, you're fake dating a girl on The Hills. That's not happening. Minus 27.

Brody calls Enzo's party the most awkward of his life. So true. Plus 9.

Kristin Cavallari asks Brody about Audrina over a drink in a typical, staged Hills discussion where they pretend to be conflicted about relationships. Minus 19.

Spencer Pratt, ever eloquent, repeats his earlier claim that Heidi's mom is "just a vagina" who let Heidi come into the world, but is nothing special. Plus 40.

As Holly leaves, Spencer shouts at her that he'll call the cops next time. "Keep walking ... Nobody wants you in Hollywood." Okay, that's enough. Minus 12.

TOTAL: +11. SEASON: +51. Boring as the Kristin-Brody-Audrina "drama" is, Spencer made this episode of The Hills. Dude has serious issues. We love it.

Click to enlarge more pics from the episode ...

Holly Montag Biography

LC and Holly Holly Montag is the sister of The Hills' Heidi Montag. She has recently appeared on the program as well. Holly Montag, we hardly know ye.... More »
Full Name
Holly Montag
×