by Free Britney at . Comments

The Hills star Heidi Montag sought perfection when she underwent 10 plastic surgery procedures in one day late last year. Safe to say that didn't work out.

"Parts of my body definitely look worse than they did presurgery," she tells Life & Style in the tabloid's new cover story. "This is not what I signed up for."

The Pratt Family

That's just too bad... except that it's EXACTLY WHAT SHE SIGNED UP FOR. You don't go for a routine physical and stumble into this by accident, idiot.

Look what they did to me! Feel sorry for me!

Only Heidi Montag would try to have a plastic surgeon make her into a human Barbie doll, then decide that might have been going a little overboard, then try to play the victim and milk it for even more publicity and money later.

Makes it difficult to feel very sympathetic, we'll be honest.

In the magazine, she details her plastic surgery disaster:

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by Free Britney at . Comments

LMAO. At this point, that's about all we can muster when we see stories about Heidi Montag and her myriad plastic surgery debacles. What a joke.

Just to recap, the reality star underwent countless operations to become the human Barbie doll, all in the name of becoming/remaining a celebrity.

Spencer and Heidi: Photographers

When that didn't work out, The Hills got axed and she went broke, she began working the reverse angle ... milking this "disaster" for sympathy!

There's nothing new about this cover story. NOTHING.

Spare us next week, Life & Style. Every Heidi Montag plastic surgery story has already been done. Wow, she had botched implants? Who knew?! Shocker.

Seriously, revealing her scars? That's the best you've got? We'll jump at the chance to ridicule Mr. and Mrs. Spencer Pratt, but give us SOME material.

Also, nice tease for Prince William, Kate Middleton and “Why They Split.” Last we checked, they got engaged quite recently and remain happily so.

Great work, editors. Virtual pat on the back.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Heidi Montag, who infamously underwent more than 10 operations in one day, is now sharing the painful memories and emotions of a journey for perfection.

In an ABC Primetime Special titled "Celebrity Plastic Surgery Gone Too Far?" airing last week, the plastic princess said she felt she would "die out of pain!"

"I thought that first night that I came out of the hospital I was going to die out of pain," Heidi Montag recalls now. "I looked like I was hit by a truck."

Heidi Pops Out

We can't believe it either, Heidi. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Montag has now confirmed most, if not all, of her surgeries this year:

  • Nose job
  • Brow lift
  • Chin shaving
  • Back scooped out
  • Ears pinned back
  • Lipo on inner/outer thighs
  • Fat injected into her cheeks
  • Absolutely hilarious, FREAKISHLY GIGANTIC breast implants

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Heidi Montag has married Spencer Pratt a bunch of times, but her true love is plastic surgery, and her secret crush was the man who operated on her.

One of the late Dr. Frank Ryan's close friends, Dawn DaLuise, takes issue with Heidi's claim that he pressured her into her hilarious major makeover.

"I believe she had a crush on him," the celebrity plastic surgeon's pal said. "She was romantically obsessed. She saw him as a night in shining armor."

Plump

WORK DONE: Dr. Frank Ryan did a number. [Photo: Pacific Coast News]

To hear Heidi Montag tell it now, Dr. Ryan - who died in a car accident after driving off a cliff in Malibu - wanted the poor thing "to be his Barbie doll."

DaLuise said it was Heidi who made the Barbie comment.

"He sent texts and emails saying she wanted to be Barbie, to look exactly like Barbie," DaLuise said, adding that Ryan tried to talk the plastic surgery addict OUT of getting DDD breasts, a brow lift, a nose job, lipo, butt augmentation, etc.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Spencer Pratt shaved his beard. Might Heidi Montag bid farewell to her gargantuan breast implants next? According to reports, yes - and not necessarily by choice!

According to a hilarious tabloid report, her size G boobs are literally facing collapse. After losing her bikini in the sea, she allegedly made a frantic call to her surgeon.

Someone might want to tell New Weekly that the doctor who crafted those breasts, Dr. Frank Ryan, is dead now. But we give the gossip rag credit for creativity:

G-Cups

Are Heidi Montag's girls going to literally fall out?

Seriously, this is some of the funniest stuff we've seen in awhile. We can understand the sheer weight of those things giving her back problems, but how would they "collapse" and/or "fall apart" exactly? It makes absolutely no sense.

Oh well. We just hope for more staged wardrobe malfunctions going forward.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Yesterday morning, Heidi Montag spent a few minutes feeling herself up. Why? Because that's how women with fake boobs have to roll, she Tweeted:

"Giving my self a soft tissue breast massage. Ladies, we have to keep those implants soft."

Just Heidi

Hours before she offered this insightful advice, Montag wrote about pain caused by another one of her 12 - yes, 12! - plastic surgery procedures.

"Warning: to anyone who is thinking about getting their ears pinned, I learned after the fact it is the most painful surgery a person can get."

THG warning to anyone thinking about getting their ears pinned: don't do it. Seek treatment for mental health issues instead.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Has Heidi Montag recently undergone more plastic surgery? 

New evidence has surfaced that strongly suggests so. It would certainly explain her self-imposed seclusion in Costa Rica, which otherwise makes no sense.

Pics on Radar Online show her in a bikini and a weird bandage on her nose, complete with a splint, often used to protect one's nose after a rhinoplasty.

  • 2010 Heidi
  • 2009 Heidi

Mind you, this story involves plastic surgery beyond what she already had. Here's the 2010 Heidi Montag and a prior year model. [Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

The 'Tag, who has zero credibility, says she wants her implants removed, says that the tape is from her previous operation(s): "Except for filming and a few photo shoots, I’ve had my nose tape on 24 hours a day since November," she says.

"The last time I didn’t wear tape after surgery and my nose changed shape. It takes a year for your nose to heal. This is just the first photo anyone has seen of it."

We'll believe that about as much as the Heidi Montag sex tape nonsense.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Apparently unhappy with her absolutely hilarious looking fake boobs, Heidi Montag may do the unthinkable: Have her implants removed to generate publicity!

One week after the tragic death of her plastic surgeon, Dr. Frank Ryan, the reality star took a quick break from fabricating drama to discuss plastic surgery.

She has serious regrets about the approximately 274 operations she has, and reveals that perhaps size G boobs may have been a little extreme. It's possible.

That is a Huge Rack

"I'm desperate to go back to normal," the former star of The Hills confides to Life & Style. "I'm downgrading and going a little smaller, to a D or a double D."

In case you were wondering, the Heidi Montag sex tape allegedly shows Spencer Pratt tapping that before and after the implants ... something for everyone.

Heidi says she is still in severe pain since getting the surgery nine months ago and her body has not gotten used to the boob job. We can't imagine why ...

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Heidi Montag wouldn't really get plastic surgery, would she?

Okay, she totally would, but we still don't know if we buy the Life & Style Weekly cover story, which claims she "plans to risk her life again with another surgery."

The magazine quotes Spencer Pratt as saying she wants to increase her breast size from 700 cc's to 800 cc's. We don't know what that means, but sounds icky.

"She wants to do it within the next two months and film it for a new show she and Spencer have been pitching to cable networks E! and Oxygen," an insider says.

Even crazier? Heidi's looking to have the surgery done in Europe, and Spencer insists he's already doing everything he can to keep her away from plastic surgery.

It's a daunting task.

The lure of being voluntarily mangled is just too strong.

"I try to stop her," Spencer tells Life & Style. "She wants her doctor to come over once a week to plump up her lips. I keep telling her that they're big enough."

So what put her over the edge and allegedly "drove" and "forced" her to seek more surgeries? Spence says it was an off-the-cuff remark by Ryan Seacrest.

"When Heidi entered the studio, Ryan told her that her breasts didn't look that big," Spencer said, saying she misread the host's attempt to downplay things.

"She was taken aback," Spencer says. "She came home in shock."

The incident confirmed the outrageous fear she'd had since her plastic surgery addiction reared its head in November: that her breasts still aren't big enough.

Okay, look. We've seen enough Heidi Montag pictures to tell you this from an objective, and well-informed viewpoint. Heidi, we hate to inform you, but:

Yes they are. They are hilariously huge fake boobs. Enough, girl.

Heidi Montag looked/looks hotter ...

 

by Free Britney at . Comments

Paulina Porizkova was a famed supermodel in the '80s, and did it all naturally. She's got some strong opinions on the surgical enhancements of today's stars.

Kate Hudson, Heidi Montag and even Madonna have drawn criticism from Porizkova, who says she was "heartbroken" by before-and-after images of them.

Most recently, it was the controversial Kate Hudson breast implants that sparked Paulina's pointed critique, even if it's unclear whether she even got any.

"The before: an amazingly fit, gorgeous, small-breasted young woman in a to-die-for red bikini; in the other, a blond starlet sipping a latte," she writes.

"The cup size was undeniably different."

"If big boobs make her happier, then more power to her," she continues. But it's "so much a sign of our times, and one that truly saddens me," she adds.

Fake

Kate Hudson is being compared to Heidi Montag. [Photos: Fame]

"I used to use [Hudson] as an example of the perfect beauty with a small chest. Now, with her new boobs, she just looks like any California blond actress."

"Instead of enhancing, she has diminished herself."

Praising "elegant, feline sexiness" of classic movie stars / models Twiggy and Audrey Hepburn, Porizkova also slammed Heidi Montag's plastic surgery.

"Comparing these natural beauties to someone like Heidi Montag is like comparing a Hastens Swedish handmade mattress to a cheap plastic pool float."

Not the words we would have chosen, but that sounds pretty harsh! Someone can expect to be summarily bashed by Spencer Pratt on Twitter today.

Even Madonna earned a rebuke from Paulina: "Madonna no longer looks like Madonna: what started as a sexy, well shaped, and somewhat hairy girl ended as a cool Nordic blonde. She is starting to sort of melt away into the stew."

Pretty much sums it up.

Heidi Montag Biography

Heidi Montag Boob Job! Ah, Heidi Montag. The controversial, plastic, duck-lipped, attention-loving blonde is a co-star on MTV's hit reality series, The Hills,... More »
Born
Birthplace
Crested Butte, Colorado
Full Name
Heidi Montag

Heidi Montag Quotes

I used to be so strong, I used to be able to do whatever I want, and then I feel like I've been broken down little by little.

Heidi Montag

Heidi Montag: Honey, I'm home.
Spencer Pratt: Oh, my favorite part of the day!

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