by Free Britney at

When we last left Lauren Conrad on the season two finale of MTV's top-rated reality hit, The Hills, she was seeing off Heidi Montag, as her former BFF and roomie sped away in a U-Haul.

Montag had chosen to move in with her slimy new beau, Spencer Pratt, even though Pratt is a complete prick Lauren Conrad strongly objected to the relationship.

But just because the season ended didn't mean the Lauren-Heidi drama was over.

On May 30, while Conrad, her new roommate, Audrina Patridge, and other pals enjoyed a night out at Les Deux, they ended up having a turf war of sorts with Heidi and Spencer, who showed up at the L.A. club that night.

"They just came right at our table and sat down," Audrina says in the newest Us Weekly. "We were like, ‘What are you doing? Get away! This is our table.' But they said, ‘This is our night, our friends, get out of here.'"

In the end, the couple stormed out of Les Deux in a huff.

By July, the estrangement between Heidi and Lauren was so palpable that Montag didn't take the MTV's promotional photos for season three of The Hills the same day as the rest of the cast - instead posing by herself in the studio for separate pics!

Of course, there are many other photos of Heidi Montag (and that jackass Spencer Pratt) that spontaneously and mysteriously surface online. Meanwhile, LC may have landed, if only for a night, an NBA player in former Duke University star Josh McRoberts.

Regardless, the Team Lauren vs. Team Heidi showdown has officially eclipsed Hollywood's best battles
. What do you think of this drama? Team Heidi or Team LC?

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by Free Britney at

And you think you've seen it all.

Some spontaneous, all-natural Heidi Montag bikini pictures have surfaced on the Internets. We never saw this coming. The girl keeps such a low profile!

It's good to see that Heidi Montag and her totally awesome boyfriend (or future husband?), Brody Jenner's ex-pal Spencer Pratt have finally decided to allow photos of themselves to be taken. Really, you two are too gorgeous to remain hidden from the public.

Please take a long look at the photos of Heidi Montag in a bikini below. As you can see, Spencer Pratt is doing exactly that as he pushes his "fiancee" on  a surfboard and inspects that surgically-enhanced booty thoroughly.

Also, note her "Girls Gone Wild" bikini. Emblazoned on the ass of a girl desperately pleading for attention, the name of Joe Francis' video empire certainly seems appropriate in this pic.

Surely he would agree, but he probably too busy trying to avoid being violated in prison to comment on anything regarding The Hills at this time.

So, to sum up, it's the same old "yes, we are really happy couple - we're not just publicity crazed brats posing for the cameras" (no they're not, and yes they are) "water sports" photo shoot - only with a new bikini and a new activity (surfing).

Hope you enjoyed. And have joined the unofficial Lauren Conrad fan club.

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by Free Britney at

Thankfully, their "secrets" for staying in shape are pretty simple.

Work out. There, you're done. Everybody got that? Alright, as long as we're clear. Ah, yes, the minds of Spencer and Heidi something to behold.

In an exclusive video that Spencer Pratt absolutely didn't pay anyone to film, Us Weekly shows The Hills star toning that surgically enhanced, sexy body in rigorous workouts with trainer John Damon.

Not to be confused with Yankees outfielder Johnny Damon, a teammate of Alex Rodriguez, John Damon said that plastic surgery power-walking and occasional kickboxing weren't giving Heidi the body she desired. That was before he got a hold of her.

Three months and six weekly hour-plus gym dates per week later, Heidi Montag says in the new issue of Us Weekly, "I'm more lean and my muscles are defined!"

In the video, which we highly recommend you go watch via the link above, John Damon (who, seriously, must have taken a bribe) gushes about Spencer Pratt and his bubbly girlfriend, who show up right on time - and send flowers if they can't make a workout!

It's a disgusting love-fest that's very painful to watch. Yet we can't stop.

In short, their secret to staying in shape is... to work out. Brilliant. We suggest you now check out a much cuter pair of Hills stars - Lauren Conrad and Whitney Port!

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by Free Britney at

Thanks to People for these notes from the world of celebrity romance ...

  • Sacha Baron Cohen and his pregnant, longtime girlfriend Isla Fisher were spotted eating dinner with two male companions at Chateau Marmont in West Hollywood. The couple talked and laughed for hours with their meal. At one point, Fisher got up and sat on Sacha Baron Cohen's lap.
  • The sexy The Girl Next Door, 24 and Captivity actress Elisha Cuthbert and her hockey player boyfriend, Sean Avery, partied it up at Hyde and looked "really sweet together," holding hands, according to an observer. The pair shared a drink as they chatted up friends and each other.

  • On hand to help friend Justin Timberlake, who was hosting the opening of his N.Y. City restaurant Southern Hospitality, Lance Bass made time for another important guy in his life... new boyfriend Pedro Andrade. Once inside the eatery, Lance Bass and his new beau took a seat near Timberlake, chowing down on biscuits and fried onion rings while chatting up one another.
  • Actress Brittany Murphy and her new husband, thief / con-artist screenwriter Simon Monjack, kept close company during a screening of the film Love and Other Disasters - which stars Brittany Murphy - as part of Los Angeles' Outfest.
  • The Hills stars, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, enjoyed a sunny lunch at Mogan's Café in the Pacific Palisades after returning from Miami Fashion Week. "They were relaxing, enjoying some time together," a source said, adding, "Heidi has been busy recording some songs with David Foster."

Suckin' Face
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by Free Britney at

Spencer Pratt loves fiancee Heidi Montag.

That new boob job may have a little something to do with it.

Cheers to a Fake Relationship

Whatever the appeal is, Spencer has hitting the town with his alleged future bride - and videotaping Heidi's every move! Smile, ladies!

TMZ was on Robertson Boulevard Monday as the PDA-prone, painfully annoying brats from The Hills went on a "spontaneous" shopping spree, with the smarmy Spencer Pratt whipping out his ... videocamera to record the day's festivities.

After dropping some major coin at Lisa Kline, Sky, Kitson and a sunglasses store, Heidi and Spencer hoofed it back to the the Ivy to get their car.

Luckily, at that point, Spencer Pratt stopped taping for a few minutes so that the couple could field questions about their upcoming wedding.

"There's no rush," said Pratt.

A clearly delusional Heidi Montag added that her greasy, always-smirking man is "better looking" than David Beckham, adding Pratt is "a better boyfriend, I bet, too."

Huh? Sure thing, Heidi. Never mind that, for all their strangeness, David has been married to Victoria Beckham for many years and has three kids by her - and that they're actually one of the more stable celebrity couples out there.

Point being, the former BFF of Lauren Conrad isn't the sharpest tool in the shed. Ironically, however, Spencer Pratt is absolutely the biggest tool in it.

No word on if Spencer picked up the camcorder again later that night for a more intimate recording. We're talking about a Heidi Montag sex tape. Hey, anything goes for publicity and money, right? Would you put it past these two conniving weasels?

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by Mischalova at

What happens when attention is waning for celebrity pictures of you and your loser fiance?

If you're Heidi Montag, you try to remain in the spotlight by actually posing for a picture with someone other than Spencer Pratt for once.

The Land of the Free

And perhaps by fighting for an important cause, such as the freedom of Girls Gone Wild creator, Joe Francis.

Seen below, Montag is standing with swimsuit designer Ashley Paige, as the latter launches her Swim and Sports Wear Collections during Mercedes Benz Fashion Week in Miami. And Paige in sporting a shirt that would make resident Hollywood Gossip writer, Free Britney, proud:

Heidi Montag stands alongside designer Ashley Paige, as the pair gives a shout out to prison dweller Joe Francis.

Free Joe, the shirt cries, as a picture of Francis beckons others to join in the fight. We're certainly inspired. After all, the Free Britney Spears campaign appears to have gone awry. That girl is way too free these days.

Attending the fashion show to watch Montag strut her spoiled stuff was Pratt, Jamie Lynn Sigler, Kim Kardashian, Tyson Beckford, Brandon Davis, DJ Clue, Chudney Ross and latin singer Ana Christina, among many others.

Somewhere, Joe Francis was thankful for the love. And probably dreaming of giant boobs.

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by Free Britney at

What better way to celebrate the freedom of the United States of America than a photo finish featuring two of this great country's hottest bodies?

How about a photo finish pitting the preening, bikini-wearing Heidi Montag from The Hills against Andy Baldwin in a Speedo?

Heidi Bends Over

On July 4, The Hills star was casually snapped in a red, white and blue bikini (what are the odds), showing off her attention-craving patriotic side and causing male onlookers to roll their eyes turn their heads. Yes, with Heidi Montag, every day is a new photo op.

Sadly, this pic shows that was plenty of trash on the beach with Montag that day, including the Styrofoam cup in the foreground and Spencer Pratt. Littering really isn't enforced enough.

Meanwhile, The Bachelor star, Lt. Andy Baldwin, showed off his signature ripped six pack and ... well, other things. That's some bathing suit, man. When you wear a Speedo, you gotta be ready to take the abuse. Then again, Andy Baldwin could kick our asses.

The Navy diver competed in a swim contest in Hawaii on Saturday and ... oh, who gives a crap! Just go back to looking at Baldwin's bulge in all its soaked, spandex glory!

Which hot body do you prefer? Who's the luckier fiance(e), that douchebag Pratt or Baldwin's future bride, Tessa Horst? Leave us a comment with your thoughts.

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by Free Britney at

The Tony Parker - Eva Longoria wedding extravaganza was perhaps the most notable event of the weekend in terms of pure celebrity news.

But in honor of Saturday's date, 07-07-07, our friends at TMZ created their own seven wonders of the world - and they're too good not to share.

From the walking train wreck that is Britney Spears to Spencer and Heidi's fake relationship to the glory that is Greasy Bear, behold the 7 Wonders of Celebrity Gossip ...

Nicole Richie's Pregnancy
Was it a pregnancy bump, or had Nicole simply decided to ingest food? For weeks, rumors swirled about whether or not the skinny one was pregnant - or eating for a change. Turns out Nicole - ever the trendsetter - is going to be the first mom among the worthless young Hollywood set.

Matthew McConaughey's Missing Shirt
For months now, Matthew McConaughey has wandered the world, playing his bongos and collecting sexy accolades sans shirt. Where could the shirt have gone? And does anyone object to its absence?

Lindsay Lohan's Driving Skillz
Disaster seems to strike whenever Lindsay Lohan is behind the wheel. It's a wonder the girl ever gets anywhere at all. Besides into the pants of A.J. Lamas, of course.

The Britney Spears Train Wreck-a-Thon
First there was the quickie Jason Alexander wedding. Then came the decision to marry Kevin Federline and the ensuing divorce. Then the partying with Paris. The head-shaving debacle. The umbrella rage incident. The panty-free partying. The rehab. The post-rehab. The propensity for getting naked ... and on and on and on and ...

Brandon Davis' Oily Sheen
Despite being an heir with infinite cash, Brandon "Greasy Bear" Davis can't seem to stop sweating. Brother Jason Davis, a.k.a. "Gummi Bear," almost looks normal by comparison.

The Heidi Montag - Spencer Pratt "Relationship"
Spencer Pratt and Heidi's new fake boobs have managed to stretch their 15 minutes of fame to at least 20. The obnoxious, obviously conniving Pratt even convinced a girl to marry him. Talk about defining the dumb blonde stereotype. Ugh. Just give us Lauren Conrad.

The Lack of Underwear in Los Angeles, California
Apparently there are no Victoria's Secrets in L.A. That or some fraternity pledge is frequently raiding the underwear drawers of Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and company. How else do you explain the deluge of crotch shot and nipple slip photos?

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by Free Britney at

Ah, the glory that is Spencer Pratt. The slimy one's ambition love for Heidi Montag knows no bounds, and his greed passion for life is incomparable.

Sitting at a cafe next to his plastic fiance, have successfully engineered a staged engagement as a publicity stunt, Spencer Pratt can't help but dream about his future with Miss Montag... or the money he can make off it.

As for Heidi Montag herself, she's got things on her mind as well. Not too many at one time - an airhead can only process so much - but she's got big dreams of her own, people.

The former roomie and BFF of Lauren Conrad has been there, done that when it comes to getting plastic surgery, preening for the cameras, saying "like" every other word and strutting around for "spontaneous" bikini photos.

What Heidi Montag she really wants is her own nude Playboy spread.

Hey, if Amanda Beard nude can instantly become the talk of the Hollywood Gossip world, imagine what kind of buzz a buck naked Heidi could generate: The Hills uncovered!

Whether we actually get to see this or not remains to be seen. But there's little doubt that the celebrity gossip world's most hated couple is thinking about it.

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by Free Britney at

Ah, Heidi Montag.

The bubbly blonde co-star of The Hills sure has got a lot going on. To list off a few of her hobbies...

Showing Her Off
  • Getting massive amounts of plastic surgery
  • Trying to butt into every scene with Lauren Conrad on The Hills
  • Plotting how to squeeze every last dollar out of a staged engagement
  • Sweet, passionate, five-hour lovemaking sessions with Spencer Pratt (we thought we'd go the for full-on gross-out effect there)
  • Being compared to Jesus
  • Saying "like" every other word
  • Going to Les Deux and other clubs

But most of all, what Heidi Montag enjoys is mysteriously appearing in hot bikini pics taken by Pacific Coast News. That organization just happens to come out, a few times a month, with many photos of H-Mont doing what she does best.

That being frolicking on the beach, with or without Spencer Pratt, showing off her new boob and nose job, angling for publicity and stardom in every possible way.

So here are some more Heidi Montag bikini photos. Yes, we are giving her exactly what she wants. It's playing right into her hand ... yet we can't help ourselves.

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