by Free Britney at . Comments

For Lauren Conrad, it's apparently tough to find a BFF and roommate with a boyfriend who doesn't suck. And turn her into a mother hen, of sorts.

The beautiful star of The Hills found herself in a somewhat familiar area Monday night, playing the third wheel as her roommate dated a new "hot" guy.

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag at Area

Only this time it's not Heidi Montag, but new BFF, Audrina Patridge, and on-again boyfriend, Justin... whose friends, of course, call him Bobby. Thus, Justin-Bobby.

What's J-B's actual name? We have no idea. Nor would we care, except that Audrina Patridge is apparently too clueless to give this assbag the boot.

After a standoffish meeting with Lauren - the guy showcased his belching skillz and displayed the maturity of an eight-year-old in an upscale eatery (no joke) - Conrad will likely have less-nice, more descriptive nicknames for Justin-Bobby.

Mumbling, hiding under a hood and telling Lauren Conrad bluntly that he doesn't care about her opinion, Justin-Bobby is shaping up to be a worthy competitor for Spencer.

The scheming Spencer Pratt does a much better job of making himself compelling to watch, though - even the haters have to give him that.

Despite a desire not to hurt Lauren, who told her she should pull the plug, Audrina nonetheless found herself back with the motorcycle-riding bad boy by the episode's end.

As Lauren Conrad herself knows, sometimes the bad boys are the hardest to let go of. But will LC give Audrina flak for giving Justin-Bobby this second chance?

In other dysfunctional relationship news, the newly engaged Heidi Montag showed off her fake engagement ring at work, then struggled to set the ground rules for cohabitation. Her methods of choice were passive-agressive - and entertaining!

After Spencer Pratt "surprised" his lovely lover with vintage '80s arcade games and a graffiti-splashed living room wall, and didn't listen to her pleas for even a little input as to home decor, Heidi gave him a taste of his own medicine.

Spencer came home to find Heidi paint-rolling over his "artwork," offering him his very own "surprise" - a clean, plain, off-white wall!

Pratt fumed as Montag explained that if they plan to make this "engagement thing" work, they're going to have to make decisions together. Spencer was seething as he agreed as he stared forlornly at his once glorious wall. In a moment, though, he picked up a roller and finished off Heidi's project.

Is Spencer now thinking pal Brody Jenner may have been right when he said marriage was just an institution for dumb guys who can't get otherwise laid?

Who knows. But next week on The Hills, Spencer ditches a Brody BBQ to meet Heidi's parents in Colorado, while Brody and LC commiserate over their lost friendships. Meanwhile, Audrina encounters drama with Justin-Bobby - drama everyone in America saw coming but her!

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Music fans need not look for a Lauren Conrad album in record stores anytime soon. Or anytime at all.

Demonstrating real self-awareness and spewing a little venom Heidi Montag's way, LC told In Touch magazine unequivocally that, believe it or not, she's just a reality TV star, nothing more.

"I promise you: I'll never release an album," Lauren said.

The beauty's reason for being reluctant to sing?

"I don't have either singing or acting talent, so I'm not going to pretend like I do!"

Meeeeeow!!!

"I don't really have very many talents! I'm okay with it, though."

This comes in response to the more or less disastrous debut of Heidi Montag's new single "Body Language" on Ryan Seacrest's radio show this week.

To sum up, Seacrest played the awful track, which features her "fiance," Spencer Pratt, rapping. It was played on air to widespread disbelief and ridicule.

The pair then claimed they did not want the tune played on the air, and that it was not even Heidi's single, just a joke, leaked without their knowledge, or something.

Bull$h!t. Pink is the New Blog reveals that in an earlier addition of In Touch, Spencer actually said he might leak Heidi's single to none other than Seacrest.

There you have it, in the revolting one's own words. Guess if you're Spencer Pratt, it must get challenging to keep all the scheming and lies straight after awhile.

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Funny, we would say the same thing! Only he means it in a different way.

Heidi Montag talks about her "music" almost as much as she talks about her feud with Lauren Conrad. But unlike her very public cat fights, Montag and Pratt say they did not want a song she recently recorded to be played on the air.

Touting the "world premiere" of Montag's single, metrosexual host Ryan Seacrest played a song called "Body Language" on his KISS-FM radio show Thursday.

But the track, which sampes a beat from Yaz's "Situation" and features Spencer Pratt - Montag's fiancé / manager - rapping, wasn't supposed to be released, he claims.

"We did it as a joke," Pratt said. "That's not her single at all. It was never meant to be heard by anyone but us. Over my dead body would I rap on Heidi's first single. Heidi is really upset because this was not the first sound she wanted people to hear from her."

Riiiiiight. We're sure the release of the track (just like alllll those bikini photos) was accidental, and that Heidi's really a potential Grammy winner.

Montag's "sound," The Hills star says, is "dance, urban, rhythmical … I love a lot of rap and urban music at the same time, so I'm bringing a little of those elements in."

When it comes to the couple's nauseatingly fake engagement, well, Heidi Montag's music career obviously takes precedence.

"I'm shopping [for a dress]," she said recently. "But we haven't done anything else, we're so busy in the studio, and with my music, we don't have time to plan a wedding."

T.H. GOSSIP NOTE: In case you were unaware, these people are morons.

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If you thought that F-list mainstays Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were going to torture you with bikini photos or rants against Lauren Conrad, well, you were so wrong!

Today, at least.

This morning on Ryan Seacrest's KIIS-FM show, Heidi showed off her musical "talent" with a rendition of her debut single (yes, she's working on an album), "Body Language."

That's bad enough, but it gets worse. Spencer Pratt grabbed the mic and showcased his hip-hop skillz, dropping some ill rhymes over the phat beats.

If you're the masochistic type, or just really bored and in need of a laugh, you can subject yourself to a portion of their "performance" by CLICKING HERE.

"Got my eyes on a sassy pearl… Heidi Montag, yeah, that's my girl!"

"Body Language" is produced by David Foster, a longtime music mogul who is - of course - now married to Brody Jenner's mother, Linda Thompson.

According to Heidi Montag, "Body Language" is dance and urban-inspired (she's down like that, yo) and she hopes it's played in clubs.

You know, maybe she's onto something there… but only if said clubs want to get people the hell out the door after last call.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Heidi Montag, The Hills' media whore extraordinaire, got some serious bling from Spencer Pratt on the season premiere of the hit MTV series.

But it looks like that crap-tastic rock is even more fake than some of Heidi and Spencer's conversations, according to sources.

As you may have seen, Mr. Big Shot asked to borrow his pal Brody Jenner's credit card (he refused) to buy the engagement ring.

Hmm. Must have been a slow week with no bikini photos to stage and sell.

In any event, Heidi's engagement ring was purchased from the Ice Accessory store at a mall in Brentwood.

Spencer picked out what looked like a pink diamond surrounded by diamonds, even stating arrogantly that J. Lo and Kobe Bryant's wife, Vanessa, had identical rings.

Yet despite Spencer Pratt's statement that he should get a "a GPS device" for the ring in case Heidi lost it, the thing is apparently a knockoff. Really.

Apparently the "pink diamond" is really just a lavender, lemon amethyst! A nice birthstone, sure. But many times cheaper than the engagement rings even middle-class, working, celebrity news-writing stiffs fork over for their fiancees. Nice work, ass clown.

The ring retails for $2,890. Not exactly chump change, but definitely a little low-rent for someone who walks around acting like some high roller. Wouldn't you say?

No wonder he tore up the receipt. And didn't actually propose to her, just sorta handed her the damn thing... which she has never only been seen wearing like once.

After everything Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag two pull, it's impossibly to take them seriously. So why not dress them up as a pimp and ho, as Celebrity Babylon did!

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"I literally feel, like, one of my friends... died."
- LC

After all this time, and hype, the much-anticipated season three premiere of MTV's The Hills didn't disappoint. For the most part.

Fake Girl

Monday's debut sure didn't waste any time bringing viewers inside the epic war between Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag, while properly (and blatantly) introducing each side's supporters.

Whitney Port - now a full-time employee and Lauren's supervisor at Teen Vogue - and Audrina Partridge are so on Team LC, while Montag's devilish boyfriend, Spencer Pratt, is Team Heidi's president, vice president, and PR coordinator.

Giving the people what they want, MTV began the year with a cat fight we knew happened, but have been wanting to see on film for moths, as a tipsy Lauren - enraged over rumors of her sex tape making the rounds - and Heidi hurled insults at each other outside Les Deux.

Lauren is convinced, right or wrong, that Heidi and Spencer started and spread the rumor of her making a sex video with ex-boyfriend Jason Wahler.

The gist of Lauren's position on the matter, as told to Heidi Montag: "You know what you did! You know what you did! You're a sad, pathetic person!"

That about covers it.

"I could just never imagine hating someone so much that you'd do something like that to them," Lauren Conrad said later, reflecting on the incident.

Oh well. She has other things to worry about, like meeting the boy du jour at the club, and whether or not to criticize Audrina's boy, a mumbling, biker, hippie-type who she dated off and on a few years back and doesn't say much.

We heart Lauren, but at the same time, we wonder if she's not - at least at times - taking out some of her own frustrations and insecurities on her friends. 

Continue Reading...

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According to the New York Times, The Hills, which opens its third season on MTV tonight, is more convincing than Friends or just about any other comedy about female relationships because â€" as any young woman knows â€" those undying friendships die.

After all the superlatives, hugs and I love yous, the separations can be bruising. Unlike romantic heartbreak, in which the terms are ultimately subjective ("He's not that into me"), female friendships are commonly torched along rigid moral lines ("She's disloyal, selfish, manipulative and deceitful!!").

You can brood over this stuff for years
.

The spectacular falling-out of the two main stars of The Hills, Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag, has become a polarizing object lesson played out in the tabloids.

The reality show, which began as a spinoff of Laguna Beach, which starred Lauren, first followed Conrad's effort to establish herself as a young adult in Los Angeles.

But as a grown-up, the lovely Lauren Conrad proved no Mary Tyler Moore, and her youthful innocence and exuberance kept pulling her back to adolescence.

The second season gave up on maturity and let Lauren be the woman-child she is. The Hills rapidly found its footing when Heidi Montag, a trifling blonde known for her love of nightlife, her bust line and other superficial things, swelled to take up more emotional space.

Montag displayed an uncommon gift for sycophancy and self-sacrifice, which seemed like a sin when put in the service of the no-good men in her life, and a virtue when used to serve Lauren Conrad (or the publicity firm Heidi went to work for).

But by the season's end a Machiavellian figure named Spencer Pratt had decided to indenture Heidi to girlfriendhood. And she went along, to the dismay of Lauren, who was sad to see her friend's true nature - but mostly sad to lose her cheerful lackey.

Continue Reading...

by Free Britney at . Comments

We know, we know. We don't talk about Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag nearly enough, and you're dying to know what they're up to at all times.

Well, we can't tell you where they are right now, but last weekend, they were on "vacation" (how that's possible when you don't have a job, we aren't sure) in Mexico. Here are some photos of the gruesome twosome on the tennis court.

Looking right at home, Spencer Pratt cups a pair of balls in his hand, while Heidi assumes the familiar position of clasping a (graphite) shaft between her legs.

Man, these two are nauseating. We get it! You are so athletic and have so much fun together! Forgive us while we go ogle our recent tennis-themed photo finish of Lucy Pinder and Anna Kournikova as we rid our minds of a shirtless Spencer.

With The Hills set to return on Monday, Spencer Pratt and his plastic fiancee have spared little expense when it comes to keeping their annoying selves in the public eye, all the while relentlessly ripping co-star and Heidi's former BFF, Lauren Conrad.

We can't even imagine what kind of drama lies ahead in Season 3 of The Hills, but we can tell you this much: we'll be watching every second of it!

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The Hills doesn't premiere until Monday.

The drama, though, has been brewing for months and boiled over this week.

Speidi Waves to Supporters

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were barred from attending the show's post-premiere party Wednesday night in L.A., a show source tells Us Weekly, due to the couple's feud with co-stars Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge.

Personally, our guess is that the "source" is actually Spencer Pratt, who just chose not to go and decided to phone in this bogus piece of celebrity gossip.

The entire cast has now been prohibited from speaking about each other in the press. To Spencer and Heidi, this is akin to having a limb amputated.

While MTV allowed both Spencer Pratt, 23, and Montag, 20, to walk down the red carpet at The Hills event, "they were not allowed to be at the party while Lauren Conrad was here," says a source, who added that extra security was brought on.

Another source tells says MTV "suspended" Spencer and Heidi from doing any more media to promote The Hills after their repeated trash-talking of LC.

While on Q102 FM in Philadelphia, Spencer Pratt called Lauren Conrad a "stupid girl" who is using the couple to draw attention to herself.

"She's the douche, the psycho," said the douche.

Montag added that she could never be friends with "some lowlife."

After the interview, MTV nearly canceled the couple's appearance on On the Air With Ryan Seacrest Wednesday, but allowed them to do one last interview.

For now, however, "they are on a media blackout."

Another insider says that MTV has decided to gag all parties - including Lauren Conrad, Whitney Port and Audrina Patridge - on the subject matter.

"Tensions were so high, MTV decided to shut it all down," says the source, adding that "Spencer crossed a line with several things he said. And fans of the show take it all so seriously, people were starting to worry about security concerns on all sides."

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It'll be a cold day in The Hills before Heidi Montag becomes best buds with her former roommate Lauren Conrad.

Asked by People if there is anything Conrad, 21, could do to patch up their highly strained friendship, Montag, 20, bluntly replies:

Got 'Em!

"No, I don't think so."

The pair found fame last year on MTV's Laguna Beach spinoff, which also managed to chronicle how they became such bitter enemies.

The beginning of the end came in Season 2 when Montag began dating Spencer Pratt. Speaking on Wednesday during The Hills' Season 3 premiere party at the LG House in Malibu, Montag attended with Pratt - now her fiancé and "music manager."

"I have my life, she has hers, and I'm honestly so busy with music, I don't have time for a feud," Heidi says, adding that living with Pratt beats the hell out of sharing a pad with Conrad.

"It's way better. You don't have all that catty girl bickering. It's calmer, nicer. We are on the same agenda, you know? So it is like our days are the same."

It's an agenda, we'll give her that much.

Such is the bitterness between the girls that Heidi Montag has a single word reply when asked if she has any good memories of Conrad: "No."

"I'm just moving on. Moving forward. My life is the best now it has ever been so that is all I'm thinking about," she says.

But there may be hope yet. For all the acid among the former friends, Heidi Montag does at least offer a small olive branch in the direction of Lauren Conrad.

"If she really came around I'd always be open to talk to her," Montag said.

Six months ago, Conrad was insisting she was still friends with Montag.

But then, when Brody Jenner, whom she dated briefly last year, made unflattering remarks in Details alongside his pal Spencer, Conrad was quick to lay the blame on Montag's man.

"Honestly, I was nauseous reading it," Conrad said. "I do feel a little bad because if you read almost every quote, it's Spencer. Brody is a better person without Spencer."

Conrad's other ex, Jason Wahler, was also at the premiere event, and told the magazine that he's "sick" of the battle against his former flame.

Earlier in the day, he had gone as far as saying he'd take a public lie detector test regarding the sex tape rumors Pratt has been peddling.

"It's been going on for like two months now. I'm over it," Wahler said.

Spencer Pratt seemed less inclined to submit to the test when asked about it by People, he responded, "It's their lives. No comment."

Heidi Montag Biography

Heidi Montag Boob Job! Ah, Heidi Montag. The controversial, plastic, duck-lipped, attention-loving blonde is a co-star on MTV's hit reality series, The Hills,... More »
Born
Birthplace
Crested Butte, Colorado
Full Name
Heidi Montag

Heidi Montag Quotes

I used to be so strong, I used to be able to do whatever I want, and then I feel like I've been broken down little by little.

Heidi Montag

Heidi Montag: Honey, I'm home.
Spencer Pratt: Oh, my favorite part of the day!

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