Heidi Montag

Less than two years after tying to knot and just half a year removed from faking their separation, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are renewing their vows.

Brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?

The gruesome twosome's wedding, seen on the fifth season finale of The Hills, was portrayed on TV like a fairytale. But the couple now disa-vows all of it.

SPEIDI WEDDING 2.0: Hey, the last one was a whole 18 months ago.

Like this year's contrived divorce, which Speidi admits it concocted for a new reality show that never panned out, the emotions of the wedding were "fake."

Now the plastic pairing plans to renew their wedding vows and get a fresh start at married life. Only this time, it will be on their own publicity-stunting terms.

"It was a movie, it was a script and it just didn't feel right," Spencer Pratt tells Entertainment Tonight. "No one in that building wanted us to get married."

"It was a nightmare."

It's been a rough year for Darlene Egelhoff.

Aside from her estranged relationship with Heidi Montag since February, the mother of three and her husband, Tim, also now face financial problems.

Timberlines, a popular restaurant featured on The Hills and owned by Heidi's folks in Crested Butte, Colo., went out of business after a 21-year run.

Heidi's mom Darlene Egelhoff in a scene from The Hills.

"We're a tourist town, so our business was dependent on the economy," Egelhoff tells People. "We were forced to close because of the economy."

Egelhoff admits she hit such a low that, at the end of last year, she even borrowed money from Heidi Montag, who's now close to bankrupt herself.

Even that wasn't enough, however, and she's gone from owning that restaurant and making appearances on The Hills to working as a maid for a living.

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are having financial problems.

Fortunately, they've been offered a high-paying gig that could not only ease said fiscal woes, but get them out of the U.S. for awhile. They win and so do we!

With Speidi recently admitting that they're broke, and even tried to fake a divorce to keep the money train a comin', a gambling site may ride to the rescue.

Will Speidi take on actual jobs? [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

YouWager (dot) com has offered the couple jobs. As in work, in exchange for money. While this may be a foreign concept to them, it's an enticing offer.

Heidi and Spencer would be given a cool $100,000 each to "manage the odds and lines surrounding the entertainment sector." Yup, they'd set odds.

The gruesome twosome would be living in Costa Rica, where the company is based (for legal issues, obviously), handicapping critical gambling topics "ranging from celebrity news and pop culture to music and movies."

They'd obviously be good at that. Spencer's main hangup, however? Due to the political turmoil between Costa Rica and Nicaragua, he's "looking into how he can legally own a firearm over there so that he can protect himself."

How awesome is this guy?

No one was surprised when Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt reconciled two months after Heidi filed for divorce in July, as it was obviously a publicity stunt.

The couple now admits this. Hey, they needed the money, okay?

Having already confessed their financial problems to Life & Style this week, the gruesome twosome is coming clean about their plans to separate ... for cash.

WILL DIVORCE FOR CASH: Or at least pretend to. Spencer Pratt admits his split from Heidi Montag was one huge stunt. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

After they found out The Hills would not be renewed earlier this year, Speidi concocted a plan to get attention by divorcing shortly after their first anniversary.

The plastic pair says there was interest a series covering their split from British TV network ITV, so they dropped some cash to move their act to Costa Rica.

But that fell through, so they called off the divorce. Naturally.

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt claim they've blown $10 million and are behind $2 million in taxes, considering filing for bankruptcy and have no place to live.

While we don't believe anything the gruesome twosome says, that music "career" had to be a huge financial disaster, and 120 plastic surgeries can't be cheap.

"We were immature, worrying too much about [fame] instead of the business part," Spencer tells Life & Style, which likely paid for the right to speak to him.

BROKE AS A JOKE? We're not buying it. If Speidi's out of cash, where did he get that sweet staff? It doesn't add up, people. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have spent any money. We should have been low-key and saved ... I've looked into bankruptcy and unemployment checks."

If Spencer Pratt gets an unemployment check, we're moving to Canada.

Heidi and Spencer never imagined The Hills wouldn't still be successful four years after its 2006 debut, which is absurd, since that's actually a long run.

Just a month after calling off her fake divorce from Spencer Pratt, Heidi Montag is just gushing about the man she married and plans on keeping forever.

In Las Vegas to host the Pure Nightclub Halloween party last night, the surgically enhanced reality star put to rest any doubts that Speidi will last.

"It's been a long summer, but we are together," Montag told the Las Vegas Review-Journal, "I'm so excited to be in Vegas and to have our friends there."

Wait ... Speidi has friends somehow? [Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

No word if the reunited Hills couple wore matching costumes, as Heidi Montag wanted her outfit to be a "surprise" but promised a "super cute-sexy" one.

She will also stay clear of gambling on her trip, saying, "I definitely don't have enough money to gamble. In this economy, I'm keeping every penny."

Guess that eliminates the chance of helping her mom out.

Not only is her marriage back on track, Montag loves her new figure after umpteen plastic surgeries: "I'm definitely feeling the best I've ever felt."

Earlier this week, we heard from Audrina Patridge's mom, Lynn, who drunkenly declared that her class act daughter's a star who's "going to f*%king rise!"

Other Hills moms aren't feeling so enthusiastic about the future.

Darlene Egelhoff, who famously disapproved of daughter Heidi Montag's plastic surgery (and husband, and lifestyle) on the show, is now estranged from her. She's also fallen on hard times and is battling to make ends meet.

Darlene Egelhoff with Speidi in happier times.

After her restaurant closed after 21 years, Egelhoff now cleans houses as a maid in her native Crested Butte, Colo., she told Inside Edition Thursday.

Egelhoff admits some of her clients recognize her from The Hills.

"That's very humbling for me and I appreciate it because I don’t ever want to get full of myself and think I’m too good to do anything," Darlene says.

Spencer Pratt issued a profound apology to his lifetime love.

He and Heidi Montag heartwarmingly reunited on the beach.

Now, she's formally filed to call off their divorce, marking the final step. Who would have ever seen reconciliation this coming, and being milked so hard.

Speidi just paved the way for decades of this. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

In moving to dismiss their divorce papers, Heidi Montag proved that her boobs may collapse in the face of gravity, but their marriage won't in the face of adversity.

"As far as I'm concerned, the last thing in the world after everything we have just been through is to go through with this divorce," Montag wrote on her Twitter.

"But we are just taking life second by second."

Good to see that their recent rough patch, which included a fake separation, relocation to Costa Rica and sex tape negotiation, has been weathered for good.

Newly clean-shaven and with a new outlook on life, a fresh-faced Spencer Pratt spent a quiet day at the beach yesterday with his adoring wife, Heidi Montag.

And their favorite photographer, of course. Never leave home without him.

The couple appeared to be relaxed, in love and totally natural in how they frolicked at the edge of the sea in Malibu. It's enough to bring a tear to your eye:

Spencer Pratt deeply loves his wife. And knows he'll be safe from any rip currents if he holds onto those flotation devices. [Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Following their separation, filing for divorce, exile in Costa Rica and sex tape drama, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are back together and in good spirits. Faking all that drama can be stressful, but they weathered the storm. It's inspirational.

Click to enlarge more Speidi pics, if you can stomach them:

Spencer Pratt shaved his beard. Might Heidi Montag bid farewell to her gargantuan breast implants next? According to reports, yes - and not necessarily by choice!

According to a hilarious tabloid report, her size G boobs are literally facing collapse. After losing her bikini in the sea, she allegedly made a frantic call to her surgeon.

Someone might want to tell New Weekly that the doctor who crafted those breasts, Dr. Frank Ryan, is dead now. But we give the gossip rag credit for creativity:

Oh well. We just hope for more staged wardrobe malfunctions going forward.