Heidi Montag

Aiden Chase, the new manager of Heidi Montag after she fired Spencer Pratt, knows that not everybody's on board with his profession - "healer and intuitive."

Whatever the hell that means.

Chase says he helps people feel better about themselves and guide the future, which he can often see. He also says he has an ability to communicate with spirits.

Including dead celebrities. Does that mean he can speak with Heidi Montag's singing career then? Oh, we totally went there. Anyway, how did Aiden meet her?

"One of my clients referred me to Spencer and Heidi," he says. "Just after Heidi's plastic surgery, doing healing work, energy clearing ... helping put their future paths on the map. For about a month, Heidi has been asking me: 'Be my manager.'"

"When I really thought about it, really meditated, I realized I have been doing the job anyway. They had been consulting with me. It had been working for them."

Heidi Montag gets her advice from "healer" Aiden Chase.

"I'm a healer and intuitive. What that means is I'm able to channel healing energy. How I like to describe that is love energy. How your mom wipes your brow and you feel better – she's actually sending her healing energy to you."

"What we do with a healing is we set an intention and put that into effect by stating or saying: If you ask for it, it will come. I channel in the energy and it neutralizes what needs to be cleared, whether it be mind, body or spirit."

So basically, he charges an insane amount of money to blow smoke up people's a$$es. Not a bad gig. Dude actually insists he can speak to the dead, too. Really.

"Gene Kelly is one," he says. "He represented himself to me."

"I kind of got a picture in my head of him. One of my iPods just switched to different songs, which is an interesting paranormal phenomenon, and on came a song from An American in Paris. I was like: 'Oh. I listened and paid attention.'"

"'Hey, brother boy, this is Gene Kelly, I'm here to help you.'"

She may have actually been better off with Spencer.

Heidi Montag and her husband are parting ways. Business-wise.

Having been managed by Spencer Pratt since she was 19 (five years ago), Heidi is replacing her pimp with Malibu-based psychic named Aiden Chase. Seriously.

"After the incredible experiences I have had healing my life and truly connecting to my dreams with healer intuitive Aiden Chase, I have officially asked him to become my manager," Montag says, apparently without any sarcasm.

"An intuitive psychic leading my team gives me an edge no one else has."

BIMBO SEEKS NEW PIMP: Spencer just got fired by Heidi.

"No longer is my husband the face of my business or managing my career," she adds. "I am going to have Aiden Chase help manage my new life and career in a very different and positive way with light and love. The time for change is now."

"Never mix business and pleasure. We are no longer Speidi but Spencer and Heidi. I am so excited for my future and the bright successes coming my way."

Don't hold your breath, babe.

Heidi said she made the move to "clear out the negative energy" around her. Call us crazy, but Spencer was the one trying to stop the plastic surgery binge.

Despite severing business ties, the gruesome twosome will stay married. Phew.

We don't know if we could handled life without these gratuitous photo shoots.

You gotta give it to Heidi Montag here. Mocking her own plastic surgery addiction as part of an effort to urge Congress and consumers to enact fiscal reform? Genius.

The Hills star is now joining the rest of the country in laughing at The Hills star with the help of Funny or Die and director Ron Howard, who created this new video.

The goal? To urge Congress to enact financial reform.

"I was honored to work with the amazing Ron Howard," Montag said. "He was kind, generous and made me feel so comfortable ... feel so confident in my talent."

Whatever that might consist of.

Heidi Montag's "talent" is on full display. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

In any case, Montag's video is part of a series by the Americans for Financial Reform that urges, among other things, massive call-ins throughout the week to push Congress toward forming a strong, independent Consumer Financial Protection Agency.

Heidi jokes in the pseudo PSA that reality stars who max out their credit cards for unnecessary plastic surgery need financial relief. What is a poor gal to do?!

Funny and Die is working on additional videos to urge the government to act on and pass financial reform. Follow the jump to see Heidi Montag do her part ...

In Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt has his very own Reality TV Frankenstein, a wife he may give 25-30 orgasms a day, craft to his liking with countless plastic surgeries, and pimp to celeb gossip tabloids for hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Pretty sweet deal.

It looks like surgery isn't solely a pastime for his plastic princess, however. A friend says Spencer is looking to have some work done on his ugly mug too.

After all, ever since Heidi Montag emerged from 10 operations in one day, she's been getting a lot of media attention, which was probably why she did it.

Really desperate and sad, but if you can get past that, it's also hilarious. Equally funny? That Spencer Pratt is considering following in her fake footsteps.

 PLASTIC PAIR: The gruesome twosome may get gruesomer still.

According to the friend, who spoke about the couple's obsession with plastic surgery, The Hills villain is looking into "lipo, chest implants and a nose job."

Chest implants?

Seems like a lot of time, money, and effort just to maintain C-list celebrity status. We realize that's what Speidi does, and always has done, but still ...

A little over the top, guys. You can probably stick to staged bikini and holiday photos and still earn a nice living. Minus any permanent disfigurement too.

Perhaps realizing that the pot was calling the kettle black hard core, Lisa Rinna is apologizing to Heidi Montag for comments about the latter's plastic surgery.

Rinna said that she wouldn't allow her two daughters to see Heidi Montag pictures in People after The Hills star had 10 plastic surgery procedures in one day.

The 46-year-old Rinna, who has had Botox, lip-plumping and breast implants gone terribly awry in her own right, says that she didn't mean any hard feelings.

"I apologize to Miss Montag if my words were taken and used against her in the press," she Twittered. "I did not slam her or her surgeries for the record."

For the record, that's exactly what she did. But no matter.

A couple (of gross) peas in a pod. The plastic torch is passed.

While Rinna's intentions were spot-on - letting her little girls look at Heidi Montag is definitely a bad idea - what can she say, given all the work she's had done?

For her part, Montag didn't seem too bummed out. Asked about her second breast augmentation (giving her DDD boobs) by Us Weekly, she lamented simply:

"I didn't get them as big as I originally wanted!"

Gross. Spencer Pratt, she's all yours man.

When Lisa Rinna is calling you out on plastic surgery, that's like ... we don't even know what. But it says a lot about the new, "improved" Heidi Montag.

Rather than being able to relate, the actress, who has had Juvederm fillers, Botox, lip-plumping, breast implants and more, thinks Heidi went too far.

In fact, she refuses to allow Heidi Montag plastic surgery photos inside her home, where her daughters, Delilah, 11, and Amelia, 8, could see them.

"I will tell you, I had to take that cover off the magazine before it came in the house," she says of People magazine, which touted Montag's surgery.

"We have two girls. I don’t think it is something you want to bring in and say, 'Oh, look.'" What they say when they see their mom is another story.

Continues Lisa Rinna, "I take a lot of the covers off of magazines if they are just not appropriate. Obviously, we are raising two young girls. Anything that has to do with body or weight issues, I think you just have to be really careful.”

Yes you do. Such good parenting.

"That magazine has changed so much. I was actually on the cover a few times [in the '80s]. In those days, they had stories about people who hadn't had their faces cut open. They had stories about things that were really going on."

"I don't know. I mean, plastic surgery?"

Next think you know, Rinna, who has taken it all off for Playboy in the recent past, will be bashing the magazine's Heidi Montag nude spread as a bad example too.

Heidi Montag is very upset, or at least was very upset initially, with her recent round of plastic surgery, her husband/pimp/publicist Spencer Pratt claims.

The Hills star famously had 10 plastic surgery operations in one day, and despite claims that she loves the results, Spencer says she was far from pleased.

"She came out of the hospital and the only thing she was saying was that the doctor better hide," Pratt said at Pure nightclub inside Caesars Palace.

"She wasn't happy," Spencer reiterated.

The aspiring pop star says she had "no idea" how painful all the ridiculous cosmetic procedures would be. Eh, you asked for it, now live with it, girl.

On a recent trip to a Sin City club, The Hills star Spencer Pratt poses with a low-rent Las Vegas stripper. Oh, wait, that's Heidi Montag! Didn't even recognize her!

"The worst pain was actually my ears. I didn't know that was the most painful process and feature," Heidi Montag recalled of having her face pulled back.

Gross.

Not that it deterred her from having further work done. Next up? Those boobs. For the third time. "I didn't get them as big as I originally wanted," she said.

Added Pratt, "She doesn't stop talking about it." Does it seem odd that Spencer Pratt is the voice of restraint and reason? He's not egging her on like usual.

So how did the couple spend a romantic Valentine's Day together? "My Valentine's present to Spencer is going shooting at the gun range," Montag said.

Follow this link for their (nauseating) Valentine's Day pictures.

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag never let a holiday go by without the obligatory photo shoot. Or the obligatory plastic surgery or 10 in her case. Just disgusting.

What would Valentine's Day be without a pimp treating his favorite ho to a romantic suite in the Ceasar's Palace resort, decorated by Frederick's of Hollywood?

Nothing, if you're Speidi.

The latest round of Heidi Montag plastic surgery was on full display in Sin City. As you can see, Spencer Pratt's cash cow is now more cyborg than human ...

As you can see in the photo gallery below (if you have a strong stomach), The Hills star received numerous gifts, including basques, a babydoll nightdress, heart embellished stockings, Champagne and chocolate-dipped strawberries.

Nauseating.

Later in the evening, Heidi and Spencer Pratt hosted a Valentine's bash at the resort's Pure nightclub. After that? You don't even wanna know what happened.

It likely involved Heidi Montag nude. Just saying. We don't have that here, but close. Click to enlarge this display of grossness from the gruesome twosome ...

We've already seen Heidi Montag in Playboy. Recently, in fact.

Then again, that was pre-eyebrow lift, nose job revision, fat injections in cheeks, lips and chin reduction, neck liposuction, ears pinned back, breast augmentation revision; liposuction on her waist, hips and thighs, and buttock augmentation.

Therefore, it'll be like an entirely different girl posing next time!

While the '09 Heidi Montag nude Playboy pictorial left no doubt that she'd undergone outrageous plastic surgery beforehand, the 2010 should outdo that.

Tenfold.

HEIDI MONTAG 3.0: More plastic than human.

Now that she's undergone 10 plastic surgery procedures in just one day, she's planning to show off almost all of her new self in the men's magazine again soon.

According to insiders, the reality star has been offered $500,000 to debut her brand-new DD boobs in a photo shoot. Nobody but Spencer Pratt is excited.

"Heidi's especially happy about her breast implants," a friend explains, adding that the reality star "could use the money." Album sales not panning out, eh?

Moreover, "she's finally ready to pose topless," unlike last year's quasi-revealing spread, and on that subject "she is already negotiating with the magazine."

Here's a glimpse of what we have to look forward to ... again:

Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag will always be linked by The Hills.

Even a full season after LC retired from the show she made famous, and years after she and Heidi stopped being close, she's still asked about her.

LC was reluctant to comment on the recent Heidi Montag plastic surgery debacle this morning on Good Morning America, but did so diplomatically.

Asked what her reaction was after seeing Heidi's new appearance, which some liken to that of a circus freak, Conrad paused and said, "It's a look."

That it is. And that's as nicely as one can put it. Well done, LC!

Lauren Conrad won't criticize her former BFF, but says surgery isn't for her.

Conrad, who just celebrated her 24th birthday Monday, said despite the pressures on young women in Hollywood, she won't be going under the knife.

Asked if she'd had or considered plastic surgery, the best-selling author and fashion designer laughed and said "not so far, no... it's a personal choice."

"Everybody's different. Everybody needs to do what's good for them."

Lauren Conrad left The Hills after five seasons and is now focusing on her fashion line at Kohl's, plus her work as an author of young adult fiction books.

Montag is focusing on undergoing plastic surgery pretty much constantly and coming out with some of the worst music in human history. Team Lauren!