by Mischalova at . Comments

Thanks to TVSquad.com for the following report ...

Shandi Finnessey and Brian Fortuna (Jive) - Shandi and Brian's Jive was good, but forgettable after all of the performances were finished. Their performance was fun and spirited, and Shandi wisely showed as much skin as possible. She can't compete with the other contestants' technical skills, but she's doing her best to corner the market on hotness. The judges were impressed with her progress and gave the couple a 21 (7, 7, 7).

John Ratzenberger and Edyta Sliwinska
(Tango) - John and Edyta did a convincing job of portraying the intense persona of the tango, and John's acting skills may save him from elimination. We thought that he looked pretty good out there, and he seemed to complete some decent, dramatic moves. It was hilarious when John dragged Edyta to their place in front of the judges' table. The couple's character-driven performance was rewarded with a 20 (7, 6, 7). A fair score, given the level of difficulty.

J.R. Martinez Pic

Clyde Drexler and Elena Grinenko (Jive) - We're starting to believe that it is impossible to keep Clyde Drexler from smiling. The man was grinning throughout his entire segment, even after receiving the lowest score of the night. Clyde and Elena's Jive was entertaining, and Clyde looked more comfortable on his feet this time around. He has a long way to go if he wants to stick around, but he is gradually improving. The couple received a brutal 16 (6, 5, 5) from the judges, which seemed a little harsh. He probably deserved the lowest score, but a 16?

Laila Ali and Maksim Chmerkovskiy (Tango) - Laila and Maksim had trouble coordinating their busy schedules, so Maksim brought in his brother Valentin to help maximize their practice sessions. Is Chmerkovskiy Russian for gorgeous? Valentin was even cuter than Maksim - why isn't he on the show? Laila was no slouch either. She had a beautiful hairdo, and brought her usual sexiness to the Tango. The couple's Bond-themed dance was excellent, but fell a little short of the heat generated during last week's Mambo. The judges agreed, and gave the couple a score of 21 (7, 7, 7).

Apolo Anton Ohno and Julianne Hough
(Jive) - Apolo and Julianne's Pulp Fiction homage was an absolute show-stopper. Their performance featured some challenging moves, and plenty of fast footwork. Apolo and Julianne always deliver crowd-pleasing performances. Perhaps it's their youthful energy. We would have placed this Jive among the top dances of the night, but the judges placed the pair in the middle of the pack with a 23 (7, 8, 8).

Joey Fatone and Kym Johnson (Tango) - Joey was worried about living up to the pressure of being one of the leading dancers, and he brought another fun, lively performance to the dance floor. Kym and Joey did a Star Wars-inspired Tango, complete with Princess Leia slave costume (on Kym, thankfully), lightsabers, and sound effects. The dance seemed more about showmanship than technical difficulty, but no matter. These two are consistently excellent, and are tons of fun to watch. Score: 24 (8, 8, 8), the first of many given out during the evening.

Ian Ziering and Cheryl Burke (Jive) - These two took a lot of criticism for a misstep that we barely noticed. Ian got over his anxiety about hip-swiveling and butt-clenching in time to perform a fast, exciting Jive. The judges held Ian and Cheryl Burke to a very high standard and claimed that Ian's misstep cost him a one-point deduction. The couple still got one of the night's highest scores, however: 24 (8, 8, 8).

Leeza Gibbons and Tony Dovolani (Tango) - Leeza was feeling a lot more confident about her dancing this week, which apparently had nothing to do with her partner. Is it just us, or was Tony a little mean to Leeza during the training sequence? Leeza was looser during her Tango, and brought some much-needed trampiness to her performance. She is still relatively slower and less flexible than her opponents, but the intensity of the Tango was definitely there. If Tony can reinforce his pupil's confidence, she may show even more improvement. Score: a surprising 24 (8, 8, 8).

Heather Mills and Jonathan Roberts (Jive) - Heather may not be a "real" celebrity, but she totally deserves to be in this dance competition. Her Jive had a great sock hop feel to it, and she wore yellow the right way this time. Carrie Ann noted that Heather doesn't have to include such difficult moves, and the fact that she does them anyway makes her a serious competitor. The couple earned a 24 (8, 8, 8).

Billy Ray Cyrus and Karina Smirnoff (Tango) - Billy Ray deserves credit for learning from his previous mistakes. He took someone's advice and pulled his hair back into a sleek ponytail, a look that suited his Tango. The song choice was confusing, however, and Billy Ray was obviously counting during the dance. The couple's performance did feature a few difficult moves, including a finale that had Billy Ray sliding under Karina's legs. Carrie Ann thought the dance "took balls," and Billy Ray kept his "Most Improved" title from last week. We don't think he's a front runner in terms of technical skill, but those hard-voting country fans might keep him around a while. Score: 21 (7, 7, 7).

by Mischalova at . Comments

ABC and FOX may be competitors, but they have something in common when it comes to their top-rated reality TV shows: outraged fans.

On American Idol, followers of actual music talent cannot believe that Sanjaya Malakar is still on the show. On Dancing with the Stars, meanwhile, followers of moral human beings are saying the same thing about Heather Mills.

Fourth Place Finishers

"Heather Mills is as good a dancer as Sanjaya on American Idol is a singer," a viewer wrote at ABC.com.

"Actually," added the fan, "now that I think about it, Sanjaya is better as a singer than Mills is as a dancer, and that kid certainly is a better human being."

Mills, estranged wife of Paul McCartney, has been a lightning rod for controversy since the show started. A random sampling of messages at ABC's website indicates that show followers are growing tired of the constant references to her prosthetic leg.

"I practically had to have a drink last night to calm my anger - both Sanjaya and the despicable Heather on the same night at the same time.... Yuck!!!!!!!!!!"

At least Sir Paul has moved on with a new girlfriend, Sabrina Guinness. Viewers now hope these shows will move on from such undeserving contestants, as well.

Tuesday marked the first night that ABC aired a recap edition of Dancing with the Stars (DWTS) against the live American Idol results show. followed by a live results edition of DWTS.

To combat the scheduling, however, FOX ran American Idol seven minutes longer- and dominated the ratings.

Yesterday, some fans expressed surprise and anger over Paulina Porizkova getting the boot, suggesting that others, such as Billy Ray Cyrus and Shandi Finnessey, were weaker celebrity dancers.

Still, it was Mills who drew the majority of the ire from fans at ABC's site - as she has done since the show started.

"She is an awful person and cannot dance," wrote one. "The title of this show is called Dancing With the Stars and she is not a star nor is she a celebrity. The fact that she married a celebrity does not qualify."

The Hollywood Gossip couldn't have said it better ourselves. They might as well have invited Tameka Foster on the show.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Once again, the incomparable Stephen Colbert has taken the time out of his hit Comedy Central show, The Colbert Report, to tackle more important issues. It's been a hell of a week. Who (and what) makes the latest edition of the "On Notice" board? Let's see...

It's impossible to argue with his selections. Divorce settlements are bad news all around (talking to you, Britney). And what's with everybody's fiancee getting knocked up before walking down the aisle? It's not just for Keri Russell and Amanda Peet anymore. Everybody's doing it this way. Was there some memo we didn't get?

As for the rest of the list...

  • It's the hair. What else could possibly keep Sanjaya Malakar on American Idol? Watching the guy is raw pain. Yet he stays. Every week. As our ears bleed. Literally.
  • We get it. Heather Mills has a prosthetic leg, yet is on a reality show about dancing! Amazing! Enough. Shouldn't science get the credit for making this possible, not the gold-digging former call girl?
  • Mortgage lenders are paying the price for issuing many thousands of home loans to borrowers with bad credit. If your credit is so poor that you can't qualify for low mortgage rates, should you really be buying a house at all? Think about it.
  • François-Henri Pinault, if you don't treat Salma Hayek right, we will end you.
  • What is it with Laguna Beach graduates and getting arrested? First Jason Wahler (x3), now Jessica Smith. This town should hire one of its less troubled alums, Lauren Conrad, to conduct an anti-DUI seminar.
  • Everyone's trying the pink hair thing. Scarlett Johansson. Kelis. Rachel McAdams. Joss Stone. In a word, it looks really friggin' lame. Get a life! Pink (the singer, not the color) is rolling in her grave.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Heather Mills is not a hero.

While the motorcycle accident that took one of her legs over a decade ago was tragic, this isn't a story of Lance Armstrong battling his way back from cancer to win the Tour de France over and over. That took courage and inhuman persistance.

Heather Mills' Bad Hair

Mills took a prosthetic limb.

If props must be given for the fact that this woman can compete on Dancing with the Stars, then direct them all to the advancements made in medicine over the years. After all, Heather has also proven she can ski and kick people with the leg. Dancing was a natural progression.

It followed nude photos and gold-digging.

We're more impressed by the fact that Kristin Cavallari can read than we are by Mills being able to dance the two-step.

Or that the penis of Randy Spelling hasn't fallen off after having inserted it inside the STD vacuum of Paris Hilton.

by Mischalova at . Comments

This isn't the typical story about Heather Mills going crazy and beating anyone up with her fake leg.

No random photographers in England have been kicked in the butt recently by the gold digger.

Nicole Scherzinger and Derek Hough Picture

Instead, we're actually gonna give Mills some props. On Dancing with the Stars last night, she performed a rather impressive spin move, one many two-legged people probably could not pull off.

Along with partner Jonathon Roberts, Heather earned a respectable score of 24. We doubt Paul McCartney called to congratulate her - but maybe this gave the former call girl something to be proud of for once.

Still, we don't see her and Roberts outlasting Joey Fatone and Kym Johnson for the Dancing with the Stars crown. Those two are really good.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Thanks to Us Weekly for this fun compilation ...

"If I was a gold digger, I'd have a lot more money in my bank account."
-- Heather Mills, who is reportedly receiving at least $56 million in a divorce settlement, and who appears on Dancing With the Stars, beginning tonight

The Ferg

"I don't like cheeseballs who are manscaped to a tee -- I respond better to actors from earlier eras."
-- Rose McGowan on overly groomed men

"You're going back to Shawshank?"
-- Chris Rock mocking Howard Stern about his upcoming nuptials

"Well, I think [George W. Bush] is probably the worst president in the history of the United States. And I just don't understand how [the Democrats] could have lost that election."
-- Donald Trump

"I just aspire to be Regis Philbin. He just has that energy and wit I hope to have a quarter of at his age."
-- Howie Mandel

"For me, just as a mom, I love the other parents and the kids...I'm starting to work on the education here...there's a lot of work to be done."
-- Angelina Jolie on volunteer work in New Orleans

"The only club I get to go to now is the country club."
-- Mark Wahlberg on how being a dad has changed him

"In one scene Quentin got really into the character and bit me. I'm not going to sue him or anything. It was crazy cool."
-- Fergie on working with Quentin Tarantino on Grindhouse

"I like having curves. It's weird seeing girls who look like beanpoles. The more famous girls get, the smaller they get."
-- Mary Elizabeth Winstead

"The View is the big soap opera of television right now. You have drama. You have conflicts. You have feuds. You have people getting into trouble for opening their big mouths. Like me!"
-- Joy Behar

by Mischalova at . Comments

Whitney Houston wants Ray J to give her a call.

Conversely, British police have told Heather Mills to stop calling them. The estranged, awful ex-wife of Paul McCartney has reportedly been abusing the emergency phone number 999 over the last few months.

Heather M.

The new Dancing with the Stars contestant won't stop complaining of harassment by paparazzi. It's gotten to the point where Chief Superintendent Kevin Moore, of Brighton and Hove Police on the southern English coast where Mills spends much of her time, said there was a risk that officers may take her calls less seriously if she contacted them too often.

"We are having to spend a disproportionate amount of time on one particular person," he said. "We are duty-bound to respond, but clearly people who make lots of calls to the police run the risk of being treated as the little boy who cried wolf."

For Mills, though, not be taken seriously is about as common as pill popping is for Nicole Richie.

The spokeswoman did not say how many emergency calls Mills made to police, but said some had not warranted any action. Of course, those that get kicked by this one-legged gold digger may wish to call for help.

Heather's spokesman, Phil Hall, has a terrible job. He also said she had called police on several occasions about paparazzi photographers who followed her along the street "often on motorbikes and in a very dangerous fashion."

The Hollywood Gossip has this to say to Mills: if you want actual danger, spend a night with Anand Jon.

by Free Britney at . Comments

It's fitting that Heather Mills took this bicycle for a serious spin in Brighton, England, Tuesday. After all, she used to be a neighborhood bicycle herself, if you know what me mean.

We're saying the gold-digging ho was also once a high-priced, one-legged call girl. Or is. At least the latter. She still has one prosthetic leg.

Ugly Hair

In any case, Mills and estranged husband Paul McCartney have reportedly agreed to a settlement in their divorce case. The terms: Mills gets between $56-63M, various reports say, and joint custody of daughter Beatrice, 3, if she'll go the hell away.

Needless to say, she won't be giving back this hot 18-speed ...

 

That's a lot of money for someone so undeserving, but it's not too bad of a deal for Sir Paul, a billionaire who didn't think to make the gal sign a pre-nup.

Come on, Paul. We know you stand for peace, love, all of that. But that doesn't mean you should be so careless with your fortune. Britney Spears wouldn't be.

Okay, bad example. We mean, Tom Cruise wouldn't be!!!

Regardless, Mills has been prepping for her upcoming stint on ABC's Dancing With the Stars, which premieres March 19. The Gossip hopes you'll join it in hoping Mills' strap on (you know, for the fake leg) comes flying off during the season premiere.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Heather Mills says her prosthetic leg won't fall off during any routines on Dancing with the Stars.

This raises an obvious question: What the heck is she doing on the show if viewers won't get to enjoy the hilarity of a flying limb?

Heather Mills' Bad Hair

We understand that Dancing With the Stars doesn't exactly sign up A-list celebrities to shake their assets on the floor - but couldn't producers find someone who is at least known for more than a famous divorce case?

Addressing the question of whether her prosthetic leg might come off while she's competing, Mills - who was struck by a police motorcycle in 1993, which necessitated the amputation of her left leg below the knee â€" tells TV's Extra:

"I'm quite happy to be thrown around and hopefully my leg will stay on."

She added: "It's very unlikely my leg is going to fly off, although it would be quite funny. I'll have a strap on, which I wouldn't normally in every day life."

Yeah, right. We're guessing Paul McCartney ended his marriage with this nut partly because a strap on was a major part of her everyday life.

With a laugh, Mills also says of dancing partner Jonathan Roberts: "I don't want to let Jonathan down or give anyone in the audience a heart attack."

Don't worry, Heather. No viewer will be watching you anyway. We'll all be looking at Shandi Finnessey.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Dancing with the Stars is only as entertaining as its cast.

So let's get right to executive producer Conrad Greene and his take on the contestants vying for Mario Lopez-like glory when the show kicks off with a two-hour season premiere on March 19:

Pretty Petra

• Heather Mills: "We thought it would be interesting to have someone with a disability on because we wanted to prove that dancing is something anyone can do," Greene told People magazine. "She really wants to prove to people that a disability doesn't hamper you in any way."

* The Hollywood Gossip note: She's already proven handicapped people can be gold-digging bags of ho.

• Billy Ray Cyrus: The 45-year-old country singer, who stars with his daughter Miley Cyrus on the Disney Channel's hit show Hanna Montana, hopes he doesn't follow in the controversial footsteps of fellow crooner, Sara Evans.

He was "terrified" about joining Dancing. "He said, 'You don't understand. I can hardly do the achy-breaky dance, let alone a whole routine.' (But) I think he's going to really apply himself," says Greene.

• Leeza Gibbons: "I think for her turning 50, she wants to be opening new chapters â€" not closing them," Greene says of the 49-year-old former Entertainment Tonight and Extra anchorwoman, who now hosts her own syndicated radio show. "I think there will be a lot of women around the country who will really associate with her and what she's doing."

• Joey Fatone: The former boy bander is no stranger to fancy footwork from his singing days. But ballroom dancing is something new for Fatone. "He says he hasn't got a clue how good he's going to be," says Greene. "He's never done anything like this."

• Laila Ali: A personal trainer and daughter of boxing legend Muhammad Ali, Laila, 29, has also entered the ring herself. "The challenge for her will be being light enough on your feet," says Greene. "She's had to bulk up, get muscular in order to box. So it's going to be getting the grace."

• Vincent Pastore: No stranger to reality shows, the former Sopranos star appeared on VH1's Celebrity Fit Club with porn king Dustin Diamond last season. "He just turned 60 and he had a heart condition last year," says Greene. "If Vincent can do it, anybody can do it. This is a show about real people taking it on. He embodies it more than anyone on the show."

• Apolo Anton Ohno: At 24, the Olympic speed-skating champion is the youngest competitor to strap on his Dancing shoes. "It's great to get someone in the middle of their career," says Greene. "(And) it doesn't hurt that he's a great-looking guy."

• Paulina Porizkova: Already a fan of the show, the 41-year-old Czech-born supermodel - who graced the cover of Sports Illustrated long before Beyonce - "just wanted to get out there and dance," says Greene.

• Clyde Drexler: The basketball Hall of Famer follows in the footsteps of fellow Dancing athletes Emmitt Smith and Jerry Rice. "He's a legend," says Greene of Drexler, 44. "Along with people like Emmitt and Jerry, he's one of those people who's the very best at their sport."

• Ian Ziering: "I got the sense with Ian he's really going to throw himself into it," says Greene about Ziering, 42, who's best known for playing Steve Sanders on the hit show Beverly Hills 90210. Too bad they couldn't sign a pregnant Tori Spelling to join the cast as well.

• Shandi Finnessey: The 28-year-old beauty queen (pictured), who was crowned Miss USA in 2004, brings "poise" and a "vivacious personality" to Dancing, says Greene.

We're guessing he hopes she doesn't bring any Tara Conner-related drama, however.