Hayden Panettiere

Hayden Panettiere is frickin' hot.

Yes, we feel dirty for saying it, knowing full well that the Heroes actress is merely 17.

But the British edition of FHM named her 6th in its list of the sexiest women alive, and you know her boyfriend, Stephen Colletti, would put her even higher.

Besides, Hayden's the one teasing us with photos of rampant girl-on-girl action. So we're letting ourselves off the hook.

Hayden and Stephen Colletti, 21, were spotted out and about the other day, as the young Hollywood lovebirds landed at Urth Caffe on Melrose Avenue, canoodling and necking their way through a lunch on the patio. 

With one egregious PDA after another, it became abundantly clear to the other patrons at the establishment that the former Laguna Beach star wants desperately to "save the cheerleader" if you know what we're saying.

We're saying he wants to possibly bend her over, as Akon would say.

Anyway, we can only wonder if Stephen can hold out another 110 more days (and 14 hours) before it becomes legal to close the deal. Or if he did the same with his ex-girlfriend, Kristin Cavallari, back in high school.

An anagram is a type of word play, a result of rearranging the letters of a word or group of words to produce other words, using all original letters exactly once. It's amazing what kind of hidden meanings one can find in a name... for better or for worse.

The names of celebrity gossip mainstays and other noteworthy folk can be worked around to mean any number of things, ranging from the strangely appropriate ...

Brangelina = Brain angle
Hayden Panettiere = Penitent, dear? Yeah.
Kim Kardashian = I am a kind shark
Simon Cowell = "Lemon, I scowl!"
Olivia Mojica = Ciao, I'm jovial.
Kevin Federline = Keen, fine drivel
George Walker Bush = Blush, war ogre geek!
Mario Lavandeira = I am a liar and over
Dustin Diamond = Undid saintdom

... to the highly amusing ...

Christopher Ivery = Oh, rich perversity
Anna Nicole Smith = Slim, innocent: Aha!
Calvin Broadus (a.k.a Snoop Dogg) = Good spark, unsocial vagabond
Stefani Schaeffer = Fat, fish-face sneer
Kate Moss and Pete Doherty = OK, mastered spotted hyena
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes = Hedonist miracles make out
Miss USA Tara Conner = Urinates on sarcasm

... to the purely nonsensical ...

Alec Baldwin = Nice bad wall!
Maksim Chmerkovskiy = Hmm... is maverick sky OK?
Crazy Joe Simpson = Spicy major zones
Sanjaya Malakar = Am lanky as a jar
Jayden James Federline = Sanely jeered jam fiend
Kingston James McGregor Rossdale = Good morning! Crassest jerks gleam
Kristin Cavallari = Trivia link rascal

... to the suggestive and lewd ...

Axl Rose = Oral sex
Mel Gibson = Big melons
Lauren Conrad = Rude on carnal
Peter Sarsgaard = Grr (as a pederast)!
Michael Jackson = Manacle his jock
Madonna Louise Ciccone = Occasional nude income
President Clinton of the USA = To copulate, he finds interns

... to our personal favorites ...

Britney Spears = Best PR in years
Victoria Beckham = Am abortive chick
The Hollywood Gossip = God! Whoops! Hostilely!

British readers of FHM recently voted Hayden Panettiere #6 on their Sexiest Women Alive list... despite the fact that the Heroes actress is only 17.

Sure, she's cute, and her TV cheerleader uniform begs for attention. But placing an underage starlet high on what essentially is a "what chicks do you most want to see involved in some tawdry, possibly nude girl-on-girl action" list seems a little weird, doesn't it?

After all, she's not of legal age for another 116 days and 9 hours. We're guessing. Really.

We'd love to get Stephen Colletti's thoughts on the matter. The former star of MTV's Laguna Beach (and boyfriend of the even hotter, and more legal Kristin Cavallari) has been dating Hayden since last year.

We're sure Hayden has great brains and personality, but what's it like knowing you can't legally hit that, Steve?

Hayden can at least take solace that she beat her nemesis Lindsay Lohan on the list... and that she isn't getting punked... at least we don't think she is.

And maybe we should give the Brits a break. Apparently, the age for legal content in the UK is 16. So this post is pretty much pointless.

Oh well, at least you got to see another Hayden Panettiere photo, right?

Hayden Panettiere is a busy young woman.

She licks other girls' boobs, she spends time with Stephen Colletti, she melts the hearts of teenage men around the world and she attends parties with Lauren Conrad. It can be a stressful life.

Fortunately, Hayden took time out of her schedule - while making sure no one dared refer to her as Lindsay Lohan - and hit the town with another beautiful Heroes co-star.

Decked out in yellow, Ali Larter is gorgeous enough to almost make you forget about Panettiere... and the fact that she turns 18 in 117 days, 10 hours and 27 minutes.

These two certainly make quite the pair. We had no idea that Ali was so tall, though. She's almost pulling a Brooke Hogan on poor little Hayden.

L.A. nightspot Les Deux should have posted a "Slippery When Wet" sign on Friday night, according to Us Weekly club spies who were on the scene.

Leading the sex-crazed pack was Lauren Conrad, who got her groove on with an unidentified man (possibly Chris Richardson)... a mere three feet from her ex-boyfriend, Brody Jenner.

Lauren Conrad reportedly pranced into the club close to midnight, wearing a turquoise dress with her hair down in soft, delicate waves.

She sat at a table with other reality TV show stars Frankie Delgado (from MTV's Twenty-four-Seven) and Shaunte & Anthony (from MTV's Maui Fever).

The star of MTV's The Hills was careful not to make eye contact with Brody Jenner, of course. Oh, but don't think she didn't know he was there!

Meanwhile, a really lame singer by the name of Jesse McCartney slithered his way over to LC's table where he made out with some chick who totally looked like she could be his twin sister.

Then there's seductive, underage girl-on-girl action hero Hayden Panettierre, who held a personal tongue wrestling match with VJ boyfriend Stephen Colletti (a talented young man who once two-timed LC and Kristin Cavallari - he's a player).

Hayden and Stephen Colletti got their freak on while sitting at a table with another reality star, Dieter Schmitz (also from Laguna Beach) and Rumer Willis, who should have her own reality show at this stage.

Later, Brody Jenner apparently wasn't fazed by LC's flirty display, as he was seen hanging out with a gaggle of girls (including a USC blond) and recent Paris Hilton victim James Blunt.

Just another hot night on the club scene. Imagine what must have gone down at Hyde.

Hayden Panettiere doesn't like being called Lindsay Lohan.

But as we saw two days ago, she doesn't mind co-opting her signature salute.

And as we discussed yesterday, she doesn't mind dressing like her. How YOU doin'?

Or acting like her, as the picture below indicates. The Hollywood Gossip is not certain when this picture was taken, or who the other girl is in this picture of Hayden Panettiere.

But this is clearly a picture of Hayden Panettiere licking the breasts of another young lady. Just in case you were unclear on that.

Yup, that's something else, isn't it? We've come to expect some big things from the 17-year-old Heroes star, but this kind of girl-on-girl action wasn't one of them.

Is this oddly endearing, semi-naughty pic an indicator of what's in store for Hayden Panettiere? We aren't sure... nor are we certain whether we want it to be.

After all, we're crazy about Britney Spears and want her to stay well now that she's clean and sober. Yet she sure makes things a lot more interesting (and titillating) around here with each crotch shot and trip to rehab. Follow?

Seriously. We're starting to wonder if Hayden Panettiere's middle name is Jailbait. Actually, we're not. We know darn well that it's actually Leslie. But come on.

Take a long, long look at the outfit she's rocking below and you'll know what we're talking about, though. Out in L.A., the 17-year old starlet makes jaws drop in this ridiculously short, black, snug, see-through number. Yow.

Yeah. She's looking more like Lindsay Lohan with each passing day. We certainly understand where her boyfriend, Stephen Colletti, is coming from. The prospect of hitting this has to be worth the risk of 2-4 years in a California jail.

Despite her undeniable hotness, Hayden Panettiere isn't immune from a good joke. Ashton Kutcher lays a classic practical gag on the Heroes cheerleader on the premiere of the final season of his hit show, Punk'd!

Her mom, Lesley Panettiere (not BFF Rumer Willis), acts as the accomplice as the young hottie is suddenly approached by an older man and his son. His wife comes in and "catches" Hayden Panettiere flirting with him.

Hayden's facial expression after the irate wife drops the f-bomb is nothing short of priceless - and the reason Ashton Kutcher's hilarious show has been such a long-lasting MTV staple!

Of course, Hayden Panettiere has been on the distributing end of Punk'd, having been the accomplice when Ashton punked her VJ boyfriend, Colletti.

What goes around comes around, girl!

Heroes actress Hayden Panettiere doesn't want to be mixed up for fellow tabloid magnet and party animal Lindsay Lohan! Got that? Don't be callin' her Lindsay. She's made this wish abundantly clear with her past comments on the subject.

But yet, as the formidable celebrity gossip queen Perez Hilton wryly notes, she's already hitting the Hollywood party scene with reckless abandon, and she's even yoinked Firecrotch's signature peace sign pose! Peep it: 

Here, we see the lovely Hayden Panettiere channeling her inner Lohan on the set of Fireflies In The Garden, which co-stars Julia Roberts and Ryan Reynolds.

On a side note, that guy next to her looks mad sketchy. He's glaring at Hayden like she's a piece of meat. We mean that literally. That guy looks like he can eat! It's like he's Star Jones and Hayden Panettiere a porterhouse steak.

Which is gross, but better than him getting any ideas about getting in this Hero's pants. Because she's, like, underage. For another 132 days. Not that we know.

Actress Hayden Panettiere rocketed to fame as the self-healing cheerleader Claire Bennet on Heroes. But the 17-year-old is just getting started.

Since becoming the focal point of the show's "save the cheerleader" plot line, the sexy and adorable Hayden Panettiere has also started filming a new drama, Fireflies in the Garden, with Julia Roberts, and is gearing up to promote her debut pop album this fall.

"With singing, I get to be myself," she tells People in its new issue.

That's all well and good. But later this spring, Hayden Panettiere will celebrate another important milestone - high school graduation.

"Thank God!" says the Nyack, N.Y., native. "School was difficult; when you come and go, you miss out on a lot. Cliques are formed and you're just lingering."

In L.A., Panettiere has found a new BFF in Bruce Willis and Demi Moore's daughter Rumer Willis, 18.

"I stole my pink belly-button ring from Rumer," she admits.

Moreover, she's found a boyfriend in Laguna Beach alum Stephen Colletti, 21, whom she's been dating for more than a year.

Colletti, of course, used to date Kristin Cavallari. And Lauren Conrad. At the same time. We can only take our collective hat off to the young man.

But Panettiere and Colletti are so low-key (their big nights out usually consist of dinner and a movie) that the actress almost feels guilty about not giving Hollywood Gossip hounds like us more to work with.

It's safe to say Justin Timberlake doesn't share that attitude.

"I had paparazzi on my street for a while," she says. "I think I bored them to tears. I'm no fun to watch."

Everyone knows there are some things you just don't wanna be called.

Would Allegra Versace want to be called fat? Well, maybe. Okay, bad example.

One can certainly understand, however, why the lovely Hayden Panettiere took issue and flipped out after being mistaken for that whoremonger Lindsay Lohan last night.

TMZ staffers spotted the Heroes cheerleader leaving the Hollywood hotspot L Scorpion last night with co-stars Milo Ventimiglia and Leonard Roberts.

That's when a confused onlooker shouted out, "Give 'em hell, Lindsay!"

When one of the members of the paparazzi reiterated the fan's mistake, a huffy Hayden Panettiere yelled back, "Don't ever call me that again!"

Wow. Lindsay Lohan, you just got owned. Good think Hilary Duff would no longer be as offended under similar circumstances.

Check out the video of Hayden tweaking at TMZ by clicking here.

After the initial skirmish, the fan didn't hear Hayden clearly and uttered the name of Dina Lohan's daughter yet again! But fortunately, before Hayden could berate the fan a second time, a cameraman screamed a string of choice obscenities to the confused Lohan fan.

No word on whether Rumer Willis was there.