The Hollywood Gossip staff is proud to bring you Tale of the Tape, in which we break down prospective matchups within the celebrity world you probably have never even considered. Because they are pointless, and above all, not real.
Our current match-up features a pair of young, beautiful TV cheerleaders. Who will emerge victorious when Heroes star Hayden Panettiere goes 10 grueling rounds with Friday Night Lights star Minka Kelly? Let's find out. Ding, ding!
1. STRANGE, SEXY FIRST NAME
Minka Kelly: Check.
Hayden Panettiere: Check.
2. CHEERS FOR ...
Minka Kelly: Dillon, Texas
Hayden Panettiere: Odessa, Texas
Edge: Minka (better pass defense)
3. TV DAD IS BEST KNOWN FOR ...
Minka Kelly: Panther pride, running successful car dealership
Hayden Panettiere: Shady dealings with an organization known as The Company that is aware of people on the planet with unusual abilities.
4. ABILITY TO RECOVER FROM PAIN
Minka Kelly: Average for a 17-year old girl.
Hayden Panettiere: Unparalleled.
Minka Kelly: Oh God yes.
Hayden Panettiere: Barely.
6. BEFORE YOU KNEW THEM
Minka Kelly: Had roles in What I Like About You and American Dreams.
Hayden Panettiere: Appeared on soap operas One Life to Live and Guiding Light.
7. BAD GIRL CRED
Minka Kelly: Father was in Aerosmith, mother was a Las Vegas showgirl.
Hayden Panettiere: Lives with her folks, has 1 a.m. curfew.
8. D-LIST BOYFRIEND(S)
Minka Kelly: Recently broke up with Fantastic Four star Chris Evans; recent rumors have linked her to Harry Morton.
Hayden Panettiere: Has been going out (and engaging in PDAs) with former Laguna Beach star Stephen Colletti for a year.
9. REALLY RANDOM FACT
Minka Kelly: Grew up in Albuquerque, N.M., dreaming of being a surgeon.
Hayden Panettiere: In the animated Dinosaur, lent her voice to a creature named Suri!
10. CAREER ACCOMPLISHMENTS
Minka Kelly: Umm, makes Friday Night Lights a whole lot brighter?
Hayden Panettiere: Starred in TV commercials at age one; Current Neutrogena cover girl; Working on debut album; Voted sixth on FHM's 100 Sexiest Women of 2007; Has made estimated $2 million in 2007 alone.
THE VERDICT: The Friday Night Lights sexpot pulls a stunning upset, ousting Hayden by the slimmest of margins, 5.5-4.5. Guess you better tune in to watch Minka Kelly on Friday nights, starting October 5! Don't count out the Heroes starlet, though. She has a tendency to bounce back rather quickly.