by Mischalova at . Comments

It really is over: Harry Morton ended things with Lindsay Lohan late last week.

As the columnists and photographers from The Gossip deal with such a tragedy, we wanted to revist the summer of Harry and Lindsay. These celebrity photos truly do tell a thousand spoiled words ...

Whiner

The annoying duo hung out at the Venice Film Festival. Shockingly, Lohan didn't win any awards there.

There had actually been rumors that Morton popped the big question. No, not whether or not Lindsay had eaten in six months; but if she'd actually marry him.

Ah, the good ol' days. We're not sure what turned to tide for Harry, but perhaps it was a Lindsay Lohan picture such as this. That girl is a mess. And her mom is nuts.

by Mischalova at . Comments

All of a sudden, that fight with Paris Hilton doesn't seem so important anymore.

Breaking news into The Gossip headquarters tells us that Lindsay Lohan is, once again, single. Harry Morton dumped her and her crotch of fire last night.

A Free, Troubled Woman

"Harry broke up with Lindsay yesterday at Chateau Marmont after they had dinner on the courtyard patio," a source said. "Nothing happened at dinner, but shortly afterward, he broke up with her."

But why, Harry? Was it the broken wrist? How lost Lohan became once her dominant, man-pleasing hand was made more useless than a plate of food in front of Kate Bosworth?

"She was too much drama," said the source. "Lindsay did cut down on the partying, but with her it's all relative. Harry is sober. It wasn't the partying that broke them up. She's young and a little bit immature. Harry's more low-key and not into the same stuff she's into."

THG NOTE: The constant sex with other men didn't help. Neither did Lohan's lack of a soul.

However, in a blatant lie record-breaking spinning of the truth, a Lindsay friend chimed in:

"No one 'dumped' anyone. You don't dump people when you're 20 and 25. You have a mature relationship and you take a break and you see what happens. Everyone does that."

Tell that to Shar Jackson! K-Fed kicked his baby's momma to the curb!

A rep for Morton, meanwhile, said, "I do not comment on his personal life."

Indeed, Lohan was spotted at Hollywood's Chateau Marmont on Thursday, running onto the patio where four of her friends were sitting â€" and weeping, a wad of tissues on one hand, her cell phone in the other.

"She ran in, sat with her group, put down her cell phone and cried to her pals," People magazine reported. "The group looked very concerned and listened intently to what she was saying."

At least her cell phone was spared, however. But what, dear readers, will happen to the famous firecrotch? Who will fan those flames now? We vote for Jason Wahler. He's single now.

But he wasn't involved in any sort of dumping, of course. People his age don't do that.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Does Harry Morton read The Hollywood Gossip?

Harry Morton Shopping

It doesn't seem that way. If the Pink Taco mogul (the restaurant, people) were an avid fan, he'd have come across the Lindsay Lohan quote where she stated how she wants to be free to give her body to anyone, regardless of having a boyfriend or not.

Oh. And Lohan is Morton's girlfriend.

Perhaps Harry thinks he can tame the tramp, however, because sources claim he was spotted purchasing an engagement ring at Cartier in Beverly Hills.

It must be a challenging choosing such a gift for a nymphomaniac. We assume the ring has to be really loose.

A representative from Morton's company didn't deny the endeavor:

"I can confirm that Harry was shopping in Cartier. .. but what he purchased I cannot confirm. If it was in fact a gift then that's between him and whomever the gift is for and whomever the gift is for."

Hey, Harry, if the gift is for Lohan, know what else will be between you and her? About a hundred guys. Per week.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your Arizona Cardinals as they make their way into Firecrotch Stadium!

Lindsay Lohan on a Red Carpet

Such an annoucement may not be so far-fetched, now that the family of Lindsay Lohan's summer boy toy, billionaire Harry Morton, has put in a bid for the naming rights for the home of the NFL's Cardinals.

The Mortons have offered $5 million for the new stadium's naming rights, the largest amount ever presented in Arizona history. That's why Airhead Arena or Promiscuous Park aren't out of the question.

Morton is the President and CEO of the Pink Taco restaurant chain. His family recently sold its stake in Morton's Steakhouse, the Hard Rock Cafe, and the Hotel & Casino for approximately $1.2 billion. That's almost as many dollars as guys Lindsay has spread her legs for.

While we kid about such names as the Neighborhood Bicycle Bowl, the family is more likely to go with a traditional moniker, such as Pink Taco Stadium. So, in other words, it'll be based on Lohan no matter what.

In other football-related news, Morton is friends with Cardinals' quarterback Matt Leinart - who's been romantically linked to Lindsay's arch enemy Paris Hilton.

So there's another idea for the stadium's name: Catfight Coliseum. Leave us a comment now with your suggestions!

by Mischalova at . Comments

Harry Morton - the Hard Rock heir and Lindsay Lohan's latest boy toy - is pulling a Michael Jackson in this image.

As Morton holds his weightless girlfriend in the air, The Gossip is left to think of original jokes we could make regarding the fact that Morton owns the Pink Taco restaurant chain AND is dating loose Lindsay. None come to mind so far.

Wasted Out of Her Mind

Harry Morton Biography

Harry Morton Shirtless Harry Morton loves his pink tacos - and, oddly enough, Lindsay Lohan. Well, not anymore. More »
Full Name
Harry Morton
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