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Gwyneth Paltrow Posts Makeup-Free Selfie on Instagram
Look, lots of people are posting makeup-free selfies these days. If you wanna make yours stand out, you're gonna have to take some Goopy cues from Gwyneth Paltrow:
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Gwyneth Paltrow Gets Dumped, Hangs With Taylor Swift
When Gwyneth Paltrow ends a relationship, she doesn't drown her sorrows in a bottle of pinot grigio or a pint of Ben & Jerry's. No, that's peasant stuff.
Gwyneth "consciously uncouples" from her victims exes and then becomes their BFF in order to keep them from ever getting laid again make sure the experience is as healthy as possible for everyone involved.
Gwyneth Paltrow: Planning Couples' Vacation With ...
As you've probably heard, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin "consciously uncoupled" last year, proving to all the world that they can turn even something as common as a divorce into an exercise in elitist, pseudo-intellectual douche-baggery.
Martin began dating Jennifer Lawrence, a move that's earned him the nickname Chris "Upgrade" Martin (as of right now).
Gwyneth Paltrow Shares Photo of Lookalike Daughter
Generally, when Gwyneth Paltrow is in the news, it's hard to finish reading the story.
Her unique brand of privileged, new age, pseudo-scientific mumbo-jumbo has been known to cause involuntary eye-rolling, which can make it hard to focus on the latest news of Gwyneth steaming her vagina.