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On the season finale of Teen Mom, everything came to a head. What did Farrah Abraham decide about moving? How did Maci Bookout leave things with Ryan Edwards? Does Gary Shirley have a career as a recording artist?

All questions we may not fully know the answers to until the reunion special and perhaps beyond, but still. Absolutely edge-of-your-seat, gripping TV.

Let's break down the third season finale of Teen Mom, THG style!

Farrah Abraham on the After Show

Farrah celebrated Sophia's second birthday by putting her cooking skills to work on a cake. We don't mean to sound harsh, but ... maybe it's time for a second career path? Or a different one altogether? Thing looked rank. Minus 6.

At least she tried, though. For once. Plus 3.

The motherhood thing? Not her style! Farrah is going to "grow into my own person" and "become whole again" by ditching her daughter in Iowa and going to school in Florida. Sophia will feel so loved watching this in a few years. Minus 25.

She decided to poignantly drive around and look at places that reminded her of Derek ... the guy she broke up with and accused of stalking her, and whose parents want to take Sophia away from her. Totally realistic portrayal. Minus 11.

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On this week's Teen Mom, Farrah Abraham butted heads with her mom regarding Sophia, while Maci made a discovery about Bentley's paternal grandmother.

Making sure Amber didn't have to work too hard (heaven forbid, what would the world be coming to), Leah's grandparents did a heck of a job pitching in as well.

Catelynn and Tyler? They're still around too. No one knows why.

Let's break down last night's episode of Teen Mom, THG style!

Farrah Abraham Image

Farrah's plans to move to Ft. Lauderdale are shockingly still in effect. She was even accepted into a culinary school. Which one? Who knows, but Plus 4 because at least it required some degree of effort on her part.

She takes her parents out to dinner for her dad's birthday and unveils the present every father craves - she booked a family counseling session!! Crickets. Minus 7.

Farrah says the idea of being without Sophia is "hard on me." Ya think? Plus 5.

It's also "good that I spend more time on myself, because I need that." Don't we all. You can't use that as an excuse to shirk responsibility, though. Minus 6.

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On this week's Teen Mom, Maci Bookout signed back up for school, Farrah Abraham tried to do the same, and Amber Portwood was released from lockup.

Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra got into a tiff about him livin' de life, but ultimately made up and made out. It's all about priorities for the youngans.

Let's break down last night's episode of Teen Mom, THG style!

Hot Maci Bookout Pic

Maci decides to enroll in classes despite how "boring" they are. Plus 4.

Kyle breaks his kneecap in an apparent motocross accident. Minus 8 for the obvious pain, but Plus 10 because Maci didn't miss class for his birthday.

She did go to the salon, though, going "blonde and long" with platinum extensions. Plus only 2, because she looks good, but she already was so cute naturally, and this is an "I'm available at the club" kind of appearance.

"I don't work anymore." - Ryan Edwards. Did he ever? Minus 5.

The previews for next week show him - what else - partying. Hey, he's got time. But Plus 3 because Maci tells him point blank he won't have Bentley.

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On last night's Teen Mom, there were no major bombshells or blowout fights. Just a lot of family moments we can all relate to. Well, for the most part.

Clearly, Catelynn's family situation is unique, while Amber's entire existence is complete upheaval. But this episode was more about the little things for all.

In which case, bravo, MTV. Let's break down last night's Teen Mom:

Catelynn Lowell, Father

"I'm just excited to have one of my stable parents around again." - Catelynn Lowell. Minus 7 for the fact that the bar is set so low. We've arrived at the point where "stable" means non-incarcerated and relatively non-insane.

Plus 4, though, because at least Dave trusts Catelynn's judgment.

Despite not seeing Catelynn in four years, Dave, who's in Michigan for a job opportunity, proclaims Tyler a "good kid" and seems accepting of his daughter and where she is in her life nowadays. All in all, it could be worse. Plus 8.

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Is Maci Bookout losing it? She wants another baby? Seriously?!

We think, given that these episodes are taped SO far in advance (even by reality show standards), that either Bookout had a change of heart, or this whole missive was manufactured to give sites like THG something to talk about.

In which case, bravo, MTV. Let's break down last night's Teen Mom:

Maci, Bentley

When 19-year-old Maci told her she wanted another baby, Sharon's response was simple. Six words: Have you lost your damn mind? Plus 12.

Maci's reasoning: "Bentley goes away half the week, and I'm just sitting there bored. If I had another baby, I wouldn't be bored." Minus 5.

If she's bored, she could watch some shows - 16 & Pregnant or Teen Mom for example - to remind her how hard having a baby is. Plus 3.

Or re-enroll in the classes she dropped. Minus 8.

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Growing up is hard to do, especially for kids with kids.

But for these hard-working, well-meaning Teen Mom stars (and Amber Portwood), it's something they must do. The question is whether they can pull it off.

While some cast members seem to be fast-tracked toward adulthood, others still seem stuck in neutral. You wonder when and if they'll come to their senses.

Let's break down last night's episode, THG style!

Maci and Kyle

Kyle King quits his job in Nashville to move near Maci. She repays him by dropping most of her classes. Plus 11 for love, Minus 12 for lack of long-term thinking.

Seriously, Maci Bookout, what's your major? Slacking? Eesh. Minus 8.

Ryan is, however briefly, more gainfully employed than Kyle! Plus 4.

Bentley's dad hires a lawyer to ensure his custody arrangement is legit. Even though he's adversarial, he does seem to care about parenting for once. Plus 2.

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The terrible twos have arrived on Teen Mom.

For our favorite young reality moms who try their best despite adversity (and Amber Portwood, for that matter), it's a difficult period for raising children.

How will Maci respond to the added burden placed on her shoulders by Ryan? Should Gary be under investigation himself? Why did Farrah get a dog?

Let's break down last night's episode, THG style!

Maci and Bentley Pic

Ryan and his parents keep talking about going to court and legally getting custody of Bentley. These peeps really need to quit stirring up drama. Minus 7.

Yes, Kyle living with Maci has to be awkward for Ryan, but wouldn't you want a nice, stable, employed guy around your kid? Just asking. Plus 4 for Kyle.

Ryan's mom says Bentley shouldn't have "random men" coming in and out of his life. Minus 6 for apparently ignoring the randomness of her own son.

Plus 5, too, because Bentley and Kyle are soooo sweet together.

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Halloween has arrived on Teen Mom. Tricks, treats and drama abound.

Our favorite young reality moms (and Amber Portwood) were all about pumpkins, costumes and such this week. But who came home with candy, and who received proverbial rocks in their sacks (a la Charlie Brown)?

Let's break down last night's episode, THG style!

Leah and Gary

Despite being jailed for domestic battery, etc., and being a total loose cannon, at least Amber's dedication to Leah can never be disputed. Oh, wait. Minus 9.

She said she hadn't seen Leah (living with Gary Shirley) because she can't drive, yet she clearly gets around fine whenever she chooses to. WTH? Minus 6.

Neither Amber or Gary go trick-or-treating with Leah. Minus 3.

The picture above, we have to admit, is quite sweet. Plus 5.

Amber's paying $644 a month for that place? Plus 4 for getting a good deal. Minus 4 for where she'll be living rent-free on Indiana taxpayers' dime soon.

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This week's episode of Teen Mom taught us to expect the unexpected.

Ryan Edwards didn't give us much to criticize at all, while Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra were thrust into the role of taking care of their parent.

Farrah Abraham and Amber Portwood, meanwhile, were doing battle to protect their daughters from bad influences - and at times from themselves.

How'd it score in our system? Let's break down last night, THG style!

Tyler and Butch

Butch is out of prison and ready to get his "freak on." Just what you want to hear if you're the teenage son. Minus 7, but Plus 2 for that unreal mullet.

By committing battery against wife April, Butch has a restraining order against him. That's not about to stop April from picking him up from jail. Minus 3.

Plus 9 for Tyler's maturity, intervening when the situation called for it, and enduring Butch's taunts about Carly's adoption. And the stench. Had to be bad.

Also showing maturity last night? Ryan Edwards. Plus 8, because you could just sense that a nasty exchange with Kyle King was coming. Not the case.

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Three of the four Teen Mom stars moved in with their significant others on last night's episode. The lone exception, Farrah Abraham, lost hers years ago.

Of course, while Amber Portwood deals with that boob Gary Shirley, Farrah is focused instead on her new boobs and modeling career, not relationships.

Let's break down last night's episode, THG style!

The Fair Farrah

On good terms this second, Amber and Gary move into a house. He's got a job doing "in-home health care." And apparently raiding people's kitchens. Plus 7.

No sooner does he proclaim "It's gonna be great," than a step in the house literally collapses under the weight of the moment. And Gary. Amazing. Plus 14.

His excuse: "pressed wood, ain't my fault." That's what they all say. Minus 2.

Before long, the squabbling begins, with Gary telling Amber, "Watch your mouth before I take Leah from ya." Producers? Fist-pumping. DCFS? Cringing. Wash.

Amber's brother, with whom they were supposed to meet up, warns, "It's gonna come back and bite you in the ass one day." More like every day. Minus 8.

Five words: Gary Shirley. Shirtless. Water park. Minus 12.

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