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For Amber Portwood, Maci Bookout, Catelynn Lowell and Farrah Abraham, this chapter of their cartoonishly animated book of MTV life is over.

The final episode of Teen Mom aired Tuesday night, marking the end of an era (error?) for the fab four who started it all on 16 & Pregnant.

Where did they leave things as the curtain bowed?

Let's find out in our final Teen Mom +/- recap!

Teen Mom Cast Photo

Farrah Abraham finished her first quarter of school! With straight A's! Plus 20.

She really missed Sophia, though, and made it clear she doesn't want to send her away like that anymore. She cried about this a lot, as Sophia makes her very emotional.

The little girl even noticed, calling her a "cry baby." Plus 10.

"Mommy you're a bad person." - Sophia. Plus 50.

Have you seen Farrah's "On My Own" music video? That's funnier and more revealing than anything a filler episode can really offer. Plus 50.

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Maci Bookout apparently needs a reality check.

Having agreed to have their own celebrations for son Bentley's birthday, and with him in a serious relationship with someone else, she must be totally over her baby daddy Ryan Edwards this time right? Mostly? Maybe? A little?

Let's find out in this week's recap!

Maci and Ryan

Mace decides to celebrate Bentley's b-day at Pump It Up ... and promptly urges the toddler to call Ryan and invite him to the shindig. Oye. Minus 10.

Bentley left a voicemail. When Ryan returned the call, Maci handed Bentley the phone and had him ask again. Girl reeks of desperation at this point.

Ryan couldn't go, and while he's far from Dad of the Year, we give him a pass here ... remember Maci Bookout crashing his family vacay? Plus 20.

Upon picking up Bentley, Ryan received an earful from Maci while his GF Dalis seethed beside him. Think Maci will learn from this? No? Minus 15.

Having been dumped last week, Farrah Abraham and her mom wash their hands of Daniel. "That's a bad sign," Debra says. No kidding. Plus 5.

SIDE NOTE: You have to watch Farrah Abraham's "On My Own" music video. It defies description. Don't quit your day job Farrah ... whatever it is.

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Farrah Abraham was essentially dropped like a bad habit after an epic failure of a trip to meet her boyfriend's family on Teen Mom last night.

Her performance was a virtual list of how NOT to act in that situation.

Farrah telling Daniel's dad's girlfriend, upon hearing she wanted kids, "You haven't had children yet? I don't think it's going to happen then."

When she said she's 51, Farrah said, "You're going to be a looone bird."

By the end of the night, Abraham was the lone bird flying back to Florida sans Dan, who "couldn't take it anymore." Hard to blame the guy.

Farrah Abraham Crying

Yeah, she gave Overly Attached Girlfriend a run for her crazy. The way Daniel flaked wasn't the classiest maneuver, but it's easy to see why he freaked.

Prior to this trip, Farrah's greatest relationship blunders included:

  • Talking about their future life together in Texas.
  • Saying she'd like to have three kids by the time she's 23.
  • Joking about picking out her "wedding dress" and "engagement ring" during a shopping excursion and issuing an ultimatum while paddle boating.
  • Recording possibly the worst song in human history. Okay, Farrah Abraham's "Finally Getting Up From Rock Bottom" came later. But still. Ouch.

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We almost feel like we owe Rebecca Black an apology.

After seeing her pawn her daughter off on her parents last night on Teen Mom, it's good to see Farrah Abraham is putting all her free time to good use.

She recently came out with her book, My Teenage Dream Ended, and now, having just wrapped her new album, has leaked a preview of the first song.

“I'm happy again, and this is my song for finding happiness,” Farrah Abraham tells In Touch of the track, titled “Finally Getting up From Rock Bottom.”

A nice sentiment, but from the opening lyrics - Dude (ahhh!) dude (ahhh!) - it's clear the song is beyond terrible / unintentionally hilarious. Listen:

With overproduced vocals, nonsensical lyrics and zero coherence, "Finally Getting Up From Rock Bottom" makes "Friday" look like Grammy material.

Farrah says the song is about going inside and really digging deep in order to find the strength to climb out of the hole she’d found herself in.

Explains the 21-year-old MTV reality star and mother of Sophia, “After almost wanting to kill myself, I found meaning and happiness within.”

We're certainly glad she was able to search within herself and slay some of her demons. Now she just needs to search for a better career.

What's your take on Farrah's new song ...

 

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The terrible twos can be tough to handle ... at least for those of us who can't just ship their kid off to grandma's for a few weeks and let her deal with it.

Such is the (tough) life for Farrah Abraham.

You could see that coming from the second she said she was going to school full time and far from Iowa. What led her to make this major life decision?

Find out in THG's Teen Mom recap!

Teen Mom Cast Photo

Sophia is just too much for Farrah. Minus 10. The little one will be better off at home with her grandparents, but the whole situation could be prevented.

Farrah is just too busy, studying mixology and horseback riding, barbecue and cattle ... oh wait, that's just to go to Texas with her boyfriend. Minus 10.

At least he's mom-approved this time. Plus 5.

Will Farrah and Daniel still be together when Sophia returns? Do you want them to be? You want her to be happy, but take her role as mom seriously.

Score it Even until further notice, we guess.

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Teen Mom star Farrah Abraham recently felt so depressed that she considered suicide, she admitted in an interview while promoting her new book.

"All I could think about was killing myself," she says, and she even mapped out some specifics. "I figured I would drown myself in the bathtub."

"That seemed like the easiest way to go."

Farrah Abraham Book

In My Teenage Dream Ended, the now-21-year-old single mother says her lowest point occurred two years after her daughter Sophia's birth.

Raising Sophia alone, coupled with the tragic death of her ex, Derek Underwood, in a car accident when she was pregnant, was too much to bear.

"We hadn't spoken in more than two months," Farrah says about her ex-boyfriend, "but crazily I had still hoped we had a future together."

Before she was diagnosed with clinical depression, Farrah Abraham says she coped with her issues via alcohol, cocaine and marijuana abuse.

Only after therapy and medication is she "back on track."

"I was being selfish," she says. "The most important thing is making sure that [Sophia's] well taken care of - how am I going to do that if I'm dead?"

A fair point. One that Amber Portwood, who's allegedly tried to take her own life as well, should consider as she serves out her prison sentence.

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Teen Mom had a beach party last night, all across this great nation.

Maci Bookout invited herself along on vacation with baby daddy' Ryan Edwards' family, as we saw on last week's installment, while Amber welcomed Gary and Leah to Malibu rehab center, and Farrah showed off her fake boobs in Florida.

Catelynn Lowell? No beach for her. Just Butch!

Come along for THG's Teen Mom recap!

Teen Mom Cast Photo

After 90 days behind bars, Tyler's dad is out of jail and crashing again at his son and stepdaughter's place, after testing positive for drugs or violating a restraining order / contacting his ex-wife. We forget.

Honestly it's way too hard to keep track with Butch these days. Minus 20.

Wouldn't you know, guy promptly breaks his curfew. Shocker. Minus 4.

"Dude, it's almost midnight and I'm sitting up waiting for my 50-year-old father," Tyler laments. When Butch does show up, the next day, Tyler tells him that the next time he decides to pull that he's kicking him out. Way to be, Ty. Plus 14.

Amber Portwood, meanwhile, is disappointed to learn that and Gary can't be around Leah at the same time. Gotta love restraining orders. Minus 42.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Teen Mom continued its depressing final season last night by delving deeper into the struggles of the fab four we know, love, love to hate, and sympathize with. It's a very complicated relationship ... something they all know plenty about.

Come along for THG's +/- recap!

Catelynn Lowell, Tyler Baltierra Pic

Catelynn and Tyler receive their caps and gowns for the big graduation. Plus 20 for these two. They've battled through a lot and deserve due credit.

Especially since that rumor that Tyler got Catelynn Lowell pregnant again is false.

Tyler wonders if Butch will be able to attend ... does he really want that? Minus 5. Poor kid. Talk about being dealt a bad hand but playing it well.

Maci surprisingly agrees to let Bentley go with Ryan Edwards' family on vacation. Ryan surprisingly agrees to let Maci come too ... with girlfriends. Plus 5.

Spoiler alert: There's no way that's going to end well. None. Take it to the bank.

Farrah's dad moves her stuff to Florida, then notes that he'd consider moving there too if he could get a job. Farrah? Not happy with this. Minus 17.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Teen Mom's return was anything but joyous for the girls involved, or even the voyeuristic viewers who typically take delight in watching them.

Anyone who claims the show promotes or glamorizes teen pregnancy and young motherhood? Watch and re-watch this depressing episode.

The trials and tribulations of Amber Portwood (whose life has played out in celebrity gossip circles) have been well documented, of course.

Maci Bookout, Farrah Abraham and Catelynn Lowell didn't exactly balance her out with positivity, though. The Season 4 opener was brutal.

Why? Find out in THG's official +/- recap!

Amber Portwood in Rehab

Let's start with Amber, who is sentenced court-ordered rehab for substance abuse / anger management / mental health and two years' probation.

Baby daddy Gary Shirley is, understandably, a bit thrown off when she starts POUNDING wine moments after arriving at his place. Minus 10.

"This is the first time I've had a drink because I just turned 21," she says. Minus 21, as that's obviously not true, and isn't a good reason anyway.

Amber needs the wine "to get the fact that I'm leaving for rehab off my mind." Somehow this doesn't bode well for rehab ... as we know. Minus 8.

"People wonder why I hit you in your f--king face. You're just a rude mean person and I'm the bitch for hitting you." - Amber to Gary. Plus 14.

Gary Shirley's 911 call plays: "She's wanting to hang herself and she said call the police so they can find my body in the garage." Minus 15.

Things ends on a hopeful note at least, with Amber and Leah's loving phone call and Gary accepting an invite to visit her in rehab. Plus 16.

Of course, we all know where Amber Portwood lives right now, so ... Minus 100.

Plus 5 for Gary's fashion choices, however. Couture at its finest.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Maci Bookout, Catelynn Lowell and Farrah Abraham are making the rounds to promote the fourth and final season of Teen Mom, which starts next week, while urging support for incarcerated co-star Amber Portwood.

The trio support her "100 percent" and just want her to get better.

"I definitely keep in contact with her. I just wish her the best," Catelynn says. "Hopefully she gets done whatever she needs to get done."

Teen Mom Cast Photo

"I think that people need to support her and stop bashing her all the time ... we just need to forget the past and just be there for her and try to support her so she can just do everything that she needs to do. People are very mean to her."

"Being in this whole experience together for four years, we all have this special bond, so we want nothing but the best for Amber," Maci adds.

"We just want her happy."

Amber Portwood was sentenced to prison this week after a series of arrests and probation violations. A judge gave her a FIVE-YEAR term.

As for the upcoming final season, as previewed in the Teen Mom trailer, the girls say they're excited to show how much they've evolved.

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Farrah Abraham Biography

Farrah Farrah Abraham is the star of Teen Mom and the mother of Sophia Laurent Abraham. Sophia's father (Derek Underwood) was killed in a car... More »
Full Name
Farrah Abraham

Farrah Abraham Quotes

I think having a TV show that shows your personality and your intimate life, you know, showing your best friend, and then showing having sex ... to me it's kind of the same thing because both things are intimate.

[On her DUI arrest] I did not endanger anyone's life.

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