It's here. After months of breathless anticipation, we finally have our first preview of Celebrity Sex Tape: In the Making the erotic novel "written" by Farrah Abraham, and it's ...
... every bit as awkward and inane as we had hoped!
Sure, Farrah hasn't read her own book, but that doesn't mean the rest of us can't enjoy the bizarre super sexually-charged drivel churned out by her seemingly drunk ghostwriter:
It wasn't as titillating as I thought it would be with someone as attractive as Kim. If I ever did a sex tape, I'd want better quality footage for sure.
- Permalink: Kim Kardashian's Sex Tape Sort of Sucked!
According to early reports from those who have read the entire book (poor SOBs), Farrah attempts to arouse the reader and establish herself as some kind of sex goddess.
At the same time, she casts herself as the victim and condemning the porn industry - a total contradiction, yet not at all shocking given the source.
Not surprisingly, she doesn't quite pull it off and the book (the first installment in a planned trilogy) ends up being more confusing than stimulating.
Check out the gallery above for some highlights from Farrah's literary debut. WARNING: the phrases "sex warrior" and "swimming with semen" are used in an entirely non-joking fashion.