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Farrah Abraham is "Blowin'" up all over the Internet, thanks to her latest video ... which surprisingly, given the name and her filthy past, is not a sex tape.

Needless to say, the speed with which the Farrah Abraham "Blowin'" video went viral was impressive. Also needless to say? The video is beyond terrible.

The imagery as well as the self-written words made for a truly mind "Blowin'" experience, one which can be summed up best in these seven memes:

Sexuality, Ability
Be better then normal and use your appearance, sexuality and ability to blow their minds.

Say what you will about Farrah (and we'll say plenty), she keeps us talkin'.

The girl certainly has a way of keepin' herself relevant, in her own uniquely bizarre way, even if her grammar is on par with your average fifth grader.

It's impressive how she's overcome obvious intellectual shortcomings and a penchant for pathologically lying, really. You almost have to give her credit.

In the video, the single mom is clad in a billowy dress, holding toddler Sophia in the park, snappin’ selfies with fans at the club and dishin' out wisdom. 

Watch the video for yourself after the jump. It's that unreal ...

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Farrah Abraham's latest music video has reminded us that before she was into porn, she totally tried to be a musician. It also reminds us of how terrible she is.

Like, hilariously bad. Her new track "Blowin'" (as in your mind, not James Deen's member) is so far beyond the point of bad that we lack the appropriate words.

You couldn't dream up a spoof of a Farrah Abraham music video that would fail as hard as her actual song, which we suppose makes it awesome in a way.

One might even say it's mind "Blowin'" ... the irony:

Yeah. It's like a legendary joke she's not in on.

Like previous efforts "Finally Getting Up From Rock Bottom" and "On My Own" (below), Farrah Abraham overuses auto-tune more than parodies of auto-tune.

According to the lyrics, which she uploaded herself, it appears to be a song about being better then [sic] normal and showing them what your [sic] made of.

She's "Blowin'" at grammar, that's for sure.

As for the baffling music video, it features her partying with friends and hanging with daughter Sophia, who is going to be so, so confused in a few years.

Read some lyrical experts from this work of genius after the jump and tell us if you think she might be the worst singer in the history of modern music ...

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Amber Portwood, one of MTV's original Teen Mom cast members, reveals that she never got along with her notorious co-star Farrah Abraham. At all.

Both reality stars gained quite a bit of notoriety from the popular show, and since, with Amber doing hard time and Farrah doing a hard ... James Deen.

When they would meet at reunion specials? TENSION.

Portwood, who was recently released from prison, sat down with Life & Style and explained the nature of her turbulent relationship with Farrah Abraham.

"We hated each other for a long time," she said.

"Behind the scenes at reunions, there were incidents where things got heated. Nobody was backing down. We both at the time had some huge attitudes."

But the bitterness has since subsided, at least.

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Farrah Abraham looks a lot different after plastic surgery. To say the least. Her nose, chin, forehead ... you name it. This is not the Farrah of Teen Mom fame.

The Farrah of Backdoor Teen Mom fame is gradually but noticeably turning into Kim Kardashian (or Heidi Montag) before our eyes, and it's a little scary.

We're not just talking about the similarities between the Kim Kardashian sex tape and Farrah Abraham sex tape/porno. She's starting to look like Kimberly:

  • Farrah Abraham Before Plastic Surgery
  • Farrah Plastic Surgery Face

Her hilariously fake boobs have obviously been reshaped ... but her face!?

The picture on the left, as noted by Fishwrapper, was taken by photographer J. Anthony, who had her model for a motorcycle-themed shoot back in 2011.

Three years later, on the right ... comment rendered unnecessary.

We realize she was 19 then and is 22 now, and that's a significant portion of her still-young life ... no one's face changes that quickly from age alone.

This is what identity-altering plastic surgery does to you, people.

Seriously. If it weren't for these awesome photos of Farrah Abraham crying through the years, we'd swear this was actually a different human / blow-up doll:

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Farrah Abraham can cry on cue. It's uncanny. Girl bawls like it's her job. Which is basically is, or one of them anyway. Balling James Deen on video is also her job.

Crying is sort of related to that occupation, though. The tall tales she pathologically spins about how her "sex tape" ruined her life make turning on the waterworks easy.

Farrah's crying faces aren't just a byproduct of the porn career she pretends to disavow, though. They date back to before she put the Backdoor in Teen Mom.

If she looks hilariously fake when she tells her sob stories, that's because she likely is faking it. Maybe it's deliberate or maybe it's subconscious, but it's BS.

Girl knows how to lie, and we don't mean on her back while ... you get the idea. Check out 13 epic Farrah Abraham crying pics and try not to cry ... LOLing:

Farrah Abraham Crying HARD
Farrah Abraham knows how to cry. Gotta love this recurring scene.

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Jenelle Evans apparently believes she's got her life together these days, and someday, maybe, hopefully, Farrah Abraham will know what that feels like.

At least that's the impression she's giving off.

On March 2, a follower tweeted, "Hopefully @F1abraham can get her life together like @PBandJenelley_1 did. She's living proof people can change."

Jenelle re-tweeted the message to her fans.

Of course, the pregnant Jenelle Evans doesn't even have custody of her son, and hasn't for the last four years. You might have forgotten Jace existed.

She also smoking weed while pregnant ... allegedly.

Either way, she may be improving, but it's relative, and for someone who can't help herself from getting pregnant or arrested, throwing shade is a bold move.

Especially when she and a man named Nathan Griffith, who also doesn't have custody of his first child, or custody of a job that we know of, are expecting.

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Farrah Abraham has been served ... with a cease and desist letter from Vivid Entertainment, warning her to knock off her recent antics or face consequences.

At issue is the fact that the Backdoor Teen Mom star - despite considerable talents with other orifices - is becoming best known for her mouth at this point.

  • Farrah Abraham Bends Over
  • Farrah L Letter

Farrah Abraham has been all about slamming the porn industry, despite her very willing participation in (and HUGE profits earned from) her "sex tape."

Vivid CEO Steve Hirsch offered her a million dollars to prove that she was truly drugged and raped while promoting the tape, as she alarmingly claimed.

On Couples Therapy on VH1, she made a huge issue of this, even though the claim is dubious at best, and reprehensible if she did indeed fabricate it.

Which evidence certainly suggests she did, sadly.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Farrah Abraham is anything but a hypocrite. Actually, she's kid the definition of a hypocrite. Or maybe just a pathological liar or some hybrid of the two.

Whatever. The point we're making here is that when her daughter Sophia wants plastic surgery one day, do not expect the reality star to stand in the way.

Farrah Abraham, Daughter Sophia

The Farrah 2: Backdoor & More star says she’s open to the idea of letting her daughter eventually go under the knife. Sophia, by the way, is FOUR.

The MTV personality reveals in an interview with Radar:

“I have to say, we very much believe that we are pretty. We are secure people. But if there’s something that she can’t live with, then yes go for it!”

Secure is not the word we would've chosen, but because she's trying not to screw up Sophia permanently, she does have one key stipulation for this.

“Like myself, I waited till I was 18,” Farrah Abraham explained to the site. “If she would like to do that, she’s her own adult. And … if it’s for a real reason.”

A real reason?

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MTV treated viewers to three "Being Teen Mom" specials last night, because all of us have been wondering just what Farrah Abraham is up to these days.

All of us who have missed the tabloid articles, music videos, sex tapes (plural), talk show interviews and other reality shows featuring her, that is.

In that sense, give MTV credit. This wasn't a look inside Farrah Abraham - James Deen already gave us that ... WHAT?! - but a glimpse at her daughter's life.

Has Farrah completely screwed up her Sophia's life like you might assume?

Mom of the Year

[On daughter Sophia] I have my own life and [I'm] doing [my] own thing. She has her own life and she does her own thing.

[On daughter Sophia] I have my own life and [I'm] doing [my] own thing. She has her own life and she does her own thing.

The surprising answer to that question - notwithstanding the pacifier shoved into the girl's mouth AT AGE FOUR - is probably not as much as you'd think.

Call her what you want, but the now-22-year-old puts in the time and effort.

Farrah gets her ready for school, spends car rides quizzing her on math problems, puts her in time out when the situation calls for it. Just like any mom!

It certainly SEEMS like Sophia Abraham has a pretty normal life for a toddler, filled with preschool and dance class and a bedroom of stuffed animals.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Farrah Abraham is apparently not interested in making an easy million dollars to back up the supposedly tragic story she spun on VH1's Couples Therapy.

The Teen Mom star turned Backdoor Teen Mom star has a ... complicated relationship with the truth, as Vivid Entertainment CEO Steve Hirsch knows.

That's why, after she claimed she was drugged and raped more than once while promoting the first Farrah Abraham sex tape, he called Farrah's bluff.

Take a polygraph that confirms this, he said, and he'll give her $1 million cash. Fail it and relinquish past and future Backdoor Teen Mom royalties.

Her response?

  • Farrah Abraham Cries on Teen Mom
  • Steve Hirsch Image

No response.

Her attorney said, "At this point in time my client has no comment to the offer made by Vivid. That is all the information I can provide you at this time."

That's it.

"This is exactly what I expected from Farrah," Hirsch said in response to the inevitable non-acceptance of Vivid's $1 million offer to its cash cow.

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Farrah Abraham Biography

Farrah Farrah Abraham is the star of Teen Mom and the mother of Sophia Laurent Abraham. Sophia's father (Derek Underwood) was killed in a car... More »
Full Name
Farrah Abraham

Farrah Abraham Quotes

I think having a TV show that shows your personality and your intimate life, you know, showing your best friend, and then showing having sex ... to me it's kind of the same thing because both things are intimate.

[On her DUI arrest] I did not endanger anyone's life.

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