Eva Longoria

Easy, fellas.

We know how excited you get over the mere mention of Eva Longoria naked. So we can only imagine how this juicy piece of celebrity gossip must be sitting with you right now.

But despite talk going around of a sex tape featuring the Desperate Housewives star and her new husband, Tony Parker, we have doubts about its authenticity.

First, a quick overview of the reports: Allegedly, the video is already available on pay per view adult film site; however a blog says it's willing to post the tape for all to see after "verifying… legal issues associated with it."

Remember, though: Meg White sex tape rumors were shot down last week. And Eva isn't exactly known for shedding her clothes, and her morals, like Kim Kardashian has in the past.

Therefore, we ask readers to take this news with a grain of salt. A very sexy, alluring grain of salt.

Vanessa Hudgens nude pics may still be making celebrity news headlines around the world - but we're trying to help take the spotlight off this poor, young actress.

And what better way to accomplish that goal than to post an almost naked Eva Longoria picture? It just doesn't get any more distracting.

The amazing looking wife of Tony Parker and star of Desperate Housewives is proudly showing off pretty much all her mama gave her below. And we're glad to stare at it:

Thanks to People magazine for this great collection of celebrity quotes ...

"I'm not ashamed that I need glasses for distance. I did not feel like I needed to have all of that hair, which was typical Star Jones, or the extra lashes or the heavy makeup."
- Star Jones, on Star Jones

"If things go well and we get married, I'm going to be smart this time and I'm going to have him sign a prenup and if we get divorced, I'll get half his allowance."
- Paula Abdul, about younger boyfriend JT Torregiani

"I'm just hoping people do get it and don't truly think that I do sunbathe in high heels and a bikini and a full face of makeup."
- Victoria Beckham, on her "Posh" image

"It's weird, it's weird. I don't wear rings... The only ring that I was wearing is our championship rings, but you only wear that maybe two times, three maybe. So I have to get used to it."
- Tony Parker, on wearing a wedding ring now that he's married to Eva Longoria

"Funny is key. Funny, silly, someone who doesn't take themselves seriously, someone who can be ridiculous. That's the most attractive thing."
- Jessica Biel, on the kind of man she goes for

"Truth be told, I worry that the Simpsons-writing portion of my brain has been destroyed after 14 years of talking to Lindsay Lohan and that guy from One Tree Hill, so maybe it's all for the best."
- Former Simpsons writer Conan O'Brien, on not being asked to participate in the big-screen version of the animated show

"You know how people ask, 'Who is the love of your life?' God, I hope I haven't met that person yet, in a way, because I'm single. I hope I haven't had that, since that would be sad."
- Winona Ryder

"This is an outrage."
- Tina Fey, on her show, 30 Rock, scoring 10 Emmy nominations

"I've actually rented Björk's swan dress. I know that's kind of recycling, but I saw An Inconvenient Truth.
- The Office star Rainn Wilson (below), on what he plans to wear to the Emmys

We cried tears of joy over Eva Longoria nude photos a few months ago.

But Ryan Seacrest, being our favorite metrosexual, saved the tears for Eva's first dance with new husband Tony Parker.

"I am crying," confessed wedding guest Seacrest on his KIIS-FM radio show Monday morning.

In a 17th Century French castle where the reception was held Saturday night, People magazine reported Peter Gabriel's cover of the Magnetic Fields song "Book of Love" played, and the bride and groom â€" who had a church wedding earlier â€" "were just staring at each other," Seacrest said. "Then Tony dipped Eva right then and there, pulled her back up and gave her a kiss."

That's when the American Idol host, standing with Teri Hatcher, Felicity Huffman and Jessica Alba, lost it. "They are smiling and I am a disaster," he said.

We wish Simon Cowell had been there to mock this blubbering fool.

Supposedly, though, wasn't a mess during the week leading up to the Paris nuptials when Longoria and Parker entertained their guests in Parker's native country.

At one dinner, Ryan Seacrest got all giddy about a French painter who Tony Parker hired to create a celebrity picture of his future bride at the party.

"He did it in like two minutes and it was perfect," Seacrest said. Against a black canvas, "he did this Cirque du Soleil type dance with two white paint brushes...He starts to paint and paint and what you see is Tony playing basketball and everyone is thinking: OK that is kind of cool.

Then he runs back up to the canvas and messes it up like he screwed up. ... Then he flips the painting over and make two dots with his brush, left and right, and it is Eva Longoria in every detail."

In other words: it's a gorgeous painting. We may hire this dude to do one of Megan Fox nude.

Desperate Housewife Eva Longoria said ‘Oui' to basketball star Tony Parker on Friday as the couple were married in a civil ceremony in Paris.

The Hollywood actress, 32, turned up at the city hall of the fashionable Marais district 10 minutes before 25-year-old Parker, seven years her junior but a foot taller.

Outfitted in a short pink Chanel haute couture dress, Eva Longoria was excited as she made her way to the afternoon ceremony in a white stretch limo.

Tony Parker, who plays for the San Antonio Spurs, said he considers himself to be "the luckiest guy in the world."

He added: "I feel blessed, really lucky."

Longoria gave a wave to large crowds before heading inside the ancient, gold stoned building to exchange vows before the city's mayor, Bertrand Delanoe, and family members.

One-and-a-half hours later, the pair emerged as man and wife.

More than a 100 French policeman, including CRS riot squad officers, were on duty outside the town hall, and at least two roads were closed.

Because of fears about a possible terrorist threat, dogs were also used to sniff for explosives. See? We knew Paris Hilton had some redeeming worth.

A civil ceremony was required by French law - it is a secular country - and was a prelude to Saturday's religious ceremony, held at Paris's Église Saint-Germain l'Auxerrois.

Longoria and Parker said their vows again Saturday - this time in front of over 250 friends and family in a lavish church ceremony.

Celebrity guests included Ryan Seacrest, Sheryl Crow, Jessica Alba (with boyfriend Cash Warren), William H. Macy and Longoria buddy (and subject of many a rumor) Mario Lopez.

Longoria's co-stars Teri Hatcher, Felicity Huffman and Nicolette Sheridan were also on hand to witness Eva and her basketball champion beau say, "I do."Too bad Jesse Metcalfe couldn't make it.

Longoria walked down the aisle in a couture Angel Sanchez mermaid gown made of silk wool with silk metallic embroidery, a scoop back and a long train. We have no idea what any of that means, but she's hot.

Longoria and Parker got engaged in November of 2006, after two years of dating. Since their engagement, they've been plagued with rumors of a breakup, and even a sex-strike.

Now, those rumors are squashed for good. We now return to debating whether Nicole Richie will wed Joel Madden and if her being with child will keep her skinny ass out of jail.

You've been hearing the day 7/7/07 for the wedding date of Eva Longoria and Tony Parker for months now.

But the truth is this hot couple will officially wed in a low-key civil ceremony in Paris on Friday, a day before the entire world celebrates with them on Saturday.

Paris Mayor Bertrand Delanoë will officiate at the service, which is to be held at the City Hall in Paris's 4th Arrondissement, according to sources at City Hall and People magazine. The private ceremony will be attended by some friends and family, including the parents of both Longoria and Parker.

A civil ceremony is required by French law and is a prelude to Saturday's religious ceremony, which will be held at Paris's Eglise Saint-Germain l'Auxerrois and followed by an extravagant shindig at the Chateau Vaux-le-Vicomte, one that should make even the eventual Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt party pale in comparison.

Earlier in the week, the Desperate Housewives actress and the San Antonio Spurs star held a his-and-her bachelor party Saint-Tropez.

Then as a Fourth of July surprise, Parker arranged to fly with his bride-to-be to France's picturesque Mont Saint-Michel, a 6th-century medieval citadel nestled within a large sea-fed inlet bay celebrated for its isolation and captivating views.

Yes, folks, this couple really is that cute. And not in the Nick Lachey/Vanessa Minnillo, take-you-from-behind-in-a-hot-tub cute sort of way. Although that's probably happened with these two, also.

Damn that Tony Parker.

Ladies, we gave you Blake Lewis pics to drool over yesterday.

Now, we return to pleasing our male celebrity gossip followers.

After all, what's better than a photo of Eva Longoria nude? How about double the beauty with an actress that closely resembles this Desperate Housewives star?

Say hello to Roselyn Sanchez.

The lovely Hispanic is making a name for herself on the CBS drama Without a Trace. But we think that show should be called Without a Flaw instead. Why? Because Sanchez is doing for kidnapping what Maksim Chmerkovskiy is doing for dancing.

As that soon-to-be jailbird Paris Hilton would say, they're making it HOT.

The world of celebrity gossip is filled with lies and half-truths. Did Sheryl Crow really adopt a son? (Yes.)

Is Spencer Pratt the anti-Christ? (Most likely.)

Can Britney Spears sink any lower? (Stay tuned!)

Below, we comment on the validity of a few other Hollywood gossip rumors...

REPORT: Tony Parker won't see Eva Longoria nude until their wedding night.

Longoria's rep Liza Anderson tells Us Magazine that while the future wife did say in an interview that she planned to give up sex before her wedding, it was purely in jest. "It was a total joke!" Anderson explains. "She was just being playful."

REPORT: The smile on America Ferrera is insured for $10 Million.

The Ugly Betty star is a spokeswoman for Aquafresh's "Smiles for Success" program, which provides dental care for underprivileged women looking to break into the workforce. To protect their partnership, the company took a policy out the eventual Mrs. Ryan Piers Williams and her girlish grin with Lloyd's of London.

REPORT: Kim Kardashian and Haylie Duff are feuding via Myspace.

According to numerous gossip sources, Kardashian responded to an attempt by Haylie to bury the hatchet over past issues by calling the sister of Hilary Duff sister nasty names.

A rep for Kardashian says: "The page is a fake. Kim and Haylie are great friends and neither of them posted anything mean."

REPORT: Victoria Beckham's boobs have their own zip code.

This is true.

Eva Longoria will be a wife in less than two months.

With less than two months to go before her July 7 wedding to Tony Parker, the Desperate Housewives actress arrived in Paris Monday to scout locations and dine with her future in-laws.

It's the sort of planning Selita Ebanks will need to get used to now.

On Tuesday morning, Longoria and two girlfriends spoke with the clerical staff and inspected the historic church St. Germain L'Auxerrois, known as the "Parish of Kings" because of its historic affiliation and its location adjacent to the Louvre.

After lunch and a visit to the Left Bank's Yves St. Laurent, Lola and Christian Lacroix boutiques, Longoria took Parker's mother, Pamela Firestone, and younger brother T.J. to dinner at the two-star restaurant Apicius.

No wonder co-stars such as Marcia Cross like this kind woman so much.

The trio (T.J., also a basketball player, is a star on Paris's Basket Racing team) sampled the eatery's lobster ravioli, asparagus salad, veal and vanilla soufflé. "The ambiance between her and the others was very familial, very warm," says a restaurant staffer.

It may have also been very awkward if this staffer had visited The Hollywood Gossip and seen Eva Longoria nude photos.

Life is good for Mario Lopez.

Unlike fellow Saved By the Bell alumnus Dustin Diamond, the guy we grew to love as A.C. Slater isn't making amateur sex tapes, cheating his few remaining fans or appearing on crappy reality shows like Celebrity Fit Club in order to make money.

No, since Lopez shot back to fame on Dancing with the Stars, he's been living it up, sleeping with Karina Smirnoff and chilling with Oscar De La Hoya, Eva Longoria and others.

The future Mrs. Tony Parker is seen with Lopez in the picture below (as well as the photo he's snapping), smiling ear to ear. Her mind is elsewhere, though - she's probably thinking about her fun bridal shower or her upcoming nuptials.

The other girl in this picture doesn't look as happy... or attractive. What the hell happened to Jessica Simpson, we have no idea. But even she knows she looks rough as hell at this point. This is a fashion wreck not even her large breasts can salvage.

Oh, and on the far left, we have Jessica's pal and celebrity stylist, Ken Paves. He's not straight, which is a-o-k with us - our only beef is that he's doing a terrible job with her hair. Isn't it your job to make Jess look hot? Get it together, K-Dog.