by Mischalova at . Comments

Dina Lohan - the woman responsible for raising Lindsay Lohan into the sex-crazed drug addict that she is - was presented with an award for being one of the Top 20 Moms in Long Island by the "Mingling Moms" of Long Island, a group that must lack an Internet connection and/or any ability to read about the celebrity gossip world.

Accepting the honor, Dina actually gave advice to Tish, the mother of Miley Cyrus.

"I don't know Miley's mom, but stay strong. Stay strong, keep your head up," Dina said, referring to Miley's controversial Vanity Fair photograph.

Dina also said Miley Cyrus is talented and added that Tish should always remember to be her mom before all else.

She then left to pose for more photos and sign autographs.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Excuse us while we vomit...

Okay, we're back and ready to announce that the name of Ali and Dina Lohan's summer reality show will be Living Lohan.

Grumpy Photo Shoot

While we were hoping this series would be based around the mother and daughter dealing with different incapacitating illnesses every week, it looks like the show will focus on Dina once again pimping out a daughter instead.

"Viewers will go inside the Lohan's Long Island home for the first time to follow Dina as she works double duty as mom and manager to help Ali try to follow in her big sister [Lindsay's] famous footsteps," a press release for the show says.

Cameras will also follow the duo to Vegas as Ali Lohan becomes the latest untalented celebrity to record an album.

"Dina is determined to help each of her four kids fulfill their dreams and refuses to live in fear of what others may think, despite being under the paparazzi microscope," the press release adds.

We'd write more, but we're too in awe of how incredible a mother Dina Lohan is.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Because Lindsay Lohan nude images are typically associated with random dudes at a bar and multiple orgasms, Dina Lohan has felt the need to speak up about how classy her daughter's recent bare photo shoot is.

"It was very tastefully done," Dina told People magazine of Lindsay's recreation of Marilyn Monroe's legendary 1962 photo shoot shot by Bert Stern. "I respect the photographer as an artist, so I look at them artistically. For him to call Lindsay 46 years later and to say can you recreate these photos is an honor. I looked at it as art, and as Lindsay doing a character.

Lindsay Lohan, Body

So I don't look at them like it's Playboy; she was being a character. So if you look at it that way, you can look at it as a mother."

The terrible mother also said her daughter viewed the shoot as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

"Lindsay was very excited when she first got the phone call," said the attention-starved Dina. "Of course we talked about how they would be done. Lindsay said, 'Mommy, I'm never going to get this opportunity to do it again.' She was very thankful she was asked."

by Free Britney at . Comments

After Lindsay Lohan's ex, Riley Giles, talked about seeing Lindsay Lohan naked and sold their lovemaking details and pics to the UK's News of the World, Lindsay's mom, Dina Lohan, did what any concerned, protective mother would do.

She got on the phone and chewed out Riley Giles' mom.

Failing to Hide

"Dina Lohan insulted her parenting," says a source close to Giles, without noting the irony of that statement (just imagine Britney Spears calling you insane).

Dina Lohan has always been a great role model for Lindsay Lohan.

Riley Giles, 25, met Lindsay Lohan, 21, during her August rehab stint. Yes, Riley was there as well. The upstanding citizen has been arrested at least four times.

Riley and Lindsay broke up late last year, and an insider at the News of the World says the tabloid paid $120,000 for Giles' tales of riding that ass. Among other things, Riley said Lohan is a sex fiend with an addictive personality. Shocking.

Says a Dina pal: "Dina did call Riley's mom." Lindsay's dad, Michael Lohan, said and Lindsay spoke to Giles since the story hit, and "he apologizes."

Lindsay doesn't seem too upset, though, having moved on to a trio of Italian dudes, Alessandro Di Nunzio, Eduardo Costa and Dario Faiella.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Dina Lohan is perceived to be an attention-starved, money-hungry woman who cares more about making headlines then taking care of her children.

But, don't worry, the mother of Lindsay and Ali Lohan has a plan to alter this image: she's starring in a new reality show.

According to People magazine, filming is set to begin October 30 on the untitled E! reality TV series primarily featuring Dina and her youngest daughter.

"There are so many misconceptions about me and my family," said Dina. "I'm setting the record straight."

Meanwhile, the following quote is so inappropriate and misguided, it hurts our fingers to type it - but the Lohan matriarch said she wants the show to empower single mothers, as it illustrates her own life as a working mom.

"It's about empowering women to be successful single mothers. About being in the limelight without compromising motherhood. It's about what I do, how you can be successful, and be a single mom and fulfilling your kids' dreams. Working is my sole source of income."

Hey, Dina: your kid is an alcoholic cocaine addict who's had an incomprehensible number of sexual partners for someone her age.

Guess that was Lindsay's dream. Way to be a successful single mom!

Most of all, Dina says, "We want it just to be real."

So viewers can look forward to drunk driving accidents, tons of promiscuity and terrible mothering. That does make it sound more entertaining than the new Kim Kardashian reality show, at least.

by Mischalova at . Comments

You've missed celebrity gossip updates about Lindsay Lohan, haven't you?

Go on, admit that you can't stand this booze hound of a skank... yet also can't wait to see what she'll do next.

According to her evil mother, Dina Lohan, here's the answer: nothing. Contrary to reports stating otherwise, the Firecrotch Queen will not be leaving the Cirque Lodge rehab program in Utah this weekend.

People magazine reports that Dina emailed Access Hollywood this week with the breaking news that her daughter is "staying in Utah."

For those that think Kiefer Suhterland is the first star to drive drunk, don't forget: Lindsay's treatment at the facility began last month, following her early morning July 24 arrest in Santa Monica on suspicion of DUI after a brief car chase.

From there, a small amount of cocaine was found on the ex-sexual partner of (deep breath now...) Calum Best, Harry Morton, Jude Law, Criss Angel, AJ Lamas, James Blunt and many others.

Immediately after she was booked, her attorney blabbered on about how Lohan had "relapsed" and was receiving "medical care."

by Mischalova at . Comments

"If She [Jodie Foster] Has A Question To Ask Me, Don't Ridicule Me Publicly!"
- Dina Lohan to 24Sizzler.com

Jodie Foster is a well-respected, talented, Oscar-winning actress.

Dumb Dina Lohan

Dina Lohan is an awful, attention-starved mother to a cocaine-addicted, promiscuous child.

Therefore, we can't say we saw this feud coming. Or that the mom of Lindsay Lohan has a credible foot to stand on during it.

It started with an interview for Gotham magazine's October 2007 issue, in which Foster said: "Can I just ask, where is her mother? I mean, really, where is her mother?…When I was their age, there were no big 18-year-old stars…

Now, we want the 17-year-olds so we can bleed them for all they're worth and squeeze as much money as we possibly can out of them - and then their career will be over in something like three years."

We've been asking the same thing about Britney Spears' parents. Seems rather reasonable to us.

But not to Dina, who saw this as another chance to grab some celebrity news headlines for her family. She responded to Foster's rationale by stating:

"It really saddens me that a mom would comment on another mom without ever meeting me... I don't know what Jodie dealt with as a young Hollywood actress but I do know if it weren't for her mother she would not be a successful actress today! I'm sure her mother made many sacrifices for her to be successful."

Isn't Lohan damning herself with these words? She's saying Jodie had a responsible mother who helped shape her respected career. Dina's daughter, meanwhile?

She's in rehab.

She also stands less of a chance of winning an Academy Award at this point than Tila Tequila does.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Move over, Raffaello Follieri, a new random boyfriend may be taking over celebrity news headlines.

Michael Lohan is displeased that his ex-wife, Dina Lohan, is such an awful booze hound and role model. Specifically, he's complaining that she's shacked up with Jim McMillan in the family's Long Island home.

The former jail bird is upset that McMillan is involved with Lindsay's three youngest siblings - but, seriously, Ali Lohan already seems like a lost cause. Nevertheless, Michael's lawyer, John DiMascio, wrote, the following:

"During my client's telephone calls with the children, he has overheard Mr. McMillan in the background making inappropriate comments. On a more disturbing note, it appears that Mr. McMillan was inebriated…"

Michael Lohan told The New York Post's Kieran Crowley: "Jim McMillan should not be in the presence of my children - especially when I'm being kept from them. He is no example, nor is he a substitute father."

This may be true, but it's not as though Michael has ever been a good influence. The man is certainly no Larry Birkhead, as the arrest record of his oldest daughter proves.

And speaking of Lindsay Lohan: despite previous press reports of her returning to Long Island, the drunk is believed to be in a rehab facility in Utah.

by Mischalova at . Comments

It's difficult - and scarier than a photo of Dita Von Teese naked - to get into the mind of Lindsay Lohan. But here's what our celebrity gossip staff assumes she's thinking:

I'm already going to jail for being an irresponsible drunk. Why not break every law I come across on the way?

At least this line of reasoning would provide the Firecrotch Queen with a semblance of rationale after Louis Vuitton reps claim the mediocre actress made off with bags of their stuff. Yup, she went all Winona Ryder during a recent photo shoot, reportedly.

After Lohan completed an Elle cover shoot, sources say she "kept shoving the clothes into her bag, and a stylist's assistant kept getting them out of the bag, only to have Lindsay keep trying to take them… Lindsay walked out with them and never returned calls."

It really was just a matter of time before the skank that stole the heart of Calum Best and countless other men did the same to a line of clothing.

Of course, when Dina Lohan is your mother, you haven't exactly been raised to follow any rules.

Is it also the fault of celebrity news reporters that you're a lying thief, Dina Lohan?

As her daughter deals with the aforementioned accusations, the mother that makes Asia Nitollano look like a role model is being sued for fraud in Las Vegas by businessman Antonio Almeida. He claims she failed to return $400,000 he lent her four years ago to kick-start Lindsay's music career.

The New York Post says Almeida's lawyer, A. Raymond Hamrick, claims some of the dough was used to record songs with Gloria Estefan's husband, Emilio Estefan, who formed Miami Sound Machine. But Lindsay bolted in the middle of the sessions when she got a deal with Casablanca Records.

"My clients were out their money," Hamrick said.

We wouldn't put anything past Dina Lohan. We just hope someone rescues Ali Lohan from this mess of a family before it's too late.

by Mischalova at . Comments

This is just sad.

Only 13, Ali Lohan is being forced to enter the celebrity news headlines because her slutty, alcoholic sister can't keep her pants on or her foot off the pedal.

The sister of Lindsay and daughter of Dina and Michael recently wrote in to VH1 in defense of her mother.

Here's what Ali Lohan said:

My mom is a single mom of four children she has always been there for us, she was my mother and father and still is. My father is telling all lies to people and saying he was such a great dad and was always there for us, my father was never there for us, My mom was always there souporting us.

i think that the whole reason why my sister is upset with her self and not as cofident, is because of my dad not being around, and always staying out late and not coming home for days, he would come back home never himself, he was always was making excuses for his bad behavior. And would always blame my mother.

** The Hollywood Gossip note: It appears as though Ali uses the same spell check as Courtney Love. But we digress...

He just wants everybody in the world knowing that he was a great dad. He wasnt that is all a lie. I just want my sister [Lindsay Lohan] to stick throught this okay, and my mother and brothers and i are there for my sister 100% and have always been.

I've wanted to say this for so long and get this out there and let everyone know that our family is like a normal family but of course we are put under a microscope because of lindsays fame, lindsay will be fine she is just going through a rough time right now but she will be fine. i know this for a fact. My sisters is just like a normal sister. her and I have so much in common. My mother and sister are huge insperations to me, they have made it through so much in there lives.

Thankyou for your time god bless, Ali

First, Jamie-Lynn Spears. Now, Ali Lohan.

It's one thing Britney, Lindsay, Nicole Richie, if you wish to mess with your own life. But please don't make it seem like your actions are acceptable, or "normal." Young lives are at stake.