Dina Lohan

Dina Lohan says God has a plan for troubled her daughter Lindsay.

Somewhere, God is so pissed that Dina just dragged Him into this.

One of the worst celebrity moms in history tells PopEater there's a higher power at work and her daughter is thankful for another chance after yesterday's court date, during which she was remanded into custody but allowed to post bail.

PERP WALK: Wonder how the Man Upstairs feels about His favorite redemption project wearing that to court yesterday. Wowza! [Photo: Pacific Coast News]

"It's all good. God has a big plan," Dina Lohan said, although she did not elaborate on whether the Lord feels it was all a misunderstanding when Lindsay walked out of the jewelry store with an expensive necklace or merely deserves mercy.

Lohan entered a plea of not guilty yesterday, but remains free for now. Judge Keith Scwartz laid the verbal smack down on her and threatened to revoke bail and her probation if she so much as breathes in a way he doesn't approve of.

Guess God's plans only get you so far with the legal system.

What's your take on the Lindsay Lohan necklace caper?

Dina Lohan is not happy with Glee. Again.

Months after incurring Dina's wrath after bashing Lindsay Lohan in an episode that guest starred Gwyneth Paltrow, Glee went after Dina personally on Sunday.

After a cheerleading stunt gone awry, Katie Couric (as herself) informed Jane Lynch's Sue Sylvester that she had earned the title of the world's biggest loser.

That's no small feat. She beat out Tiger Woods, the economy, Dina Lohan and the Lohans' dog, Sparky, who is also a loser, for that distinction. Hilarious.

But man, oh man is Dina pissed off now ...

BUNCH OF LOSERS: Want some cheese with that whine, D?

"The show has now targeted everyone from gays to lesbians, Asians, disabled and each other... several groups are going after the producers," Dina told E! News.

Her diatribe continued: "It's a shame as the dance numbers are amazing, but the writers need to be nice and more creative as opposed to being hurtful."

"They are sending the wrong message to the youth watching. Oh, and I must get a 'fifth' dog named Sparky... as far as Katie Couric is concerned, she has a short memory when the tabloids were trashing her a few years ago - and she's a mom!"

Yes Dina, ... the tabloids TRASHED Katie Couric for CBS News' low ratings. How dare she turn around and poke fun at a train wreck celebrity mom.

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If you watched last night's Glee, you knew as soon as Katie Couric's hilarious cameo was over that Dina Lohan would be whining by close of business Monday.

Like clockwork, a "friend" of Dina's (apparently, she has one) says she is "hurt and shocked" by the show's latest jab - this time at Lindsay's mom directly.

Glee, which took shots at Lindsay earlier this season via Gwyneth Paltrow's guest character, and its "constant teasing" have downright offended Dina now.

If you don't watch Glee, here's the long and short of it: Katie (as herself) interviewed Jane Lynch's Sue Sylvester after she had been named Loser of the Year.

As Katie recounted all the losers Sue bested out for the title, Dina Lohan's name was among them. She is pissed. Her ex, Michael Lohan, also begged to differ.

In Michael's case, though, he thinks Glee just didn't go far enough.

Michael told sources that Dina "deserves a lot worse of a title after all she has done to destroy the relationships with my kids and entire family." How kind.

He calls the people Dina surrounds herself with "the epitome of losers."

You'd think with Lindsay's pending felony charge, they'd focus on ... oh wait, no you wouldn't. All these people do is whine about their pathetic lives instead of taking responsibility or establishing themselves as upstanding citizens through action.

Way to go, losers! Watch the clip after the jump:

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Michael Lohan, voice of reason? Now we've seen everything.

Lindsay Lohan's dad says she's being manipulated by a lawyer dying for publicity and that suing the producer of a movie based on her life is absurd.

Her mom and Mike's ex-wife, Dina Lohan, and attorney Stephanie Ovadia have made rumblings that they may sue the producers of Dogs in Pocketbooks.

Michael says the film about a spoiled starlet with addictions who goes in and out of rehab is just satire, although he hopes they get the facts straight.

Here's Mike talking about Lindsay's fight in rehab, too ...

Michael Lohan on Lindsay's Issues

Despite the fact that she got fired, Dina Lohan insists Lindsay Lohan turned down the lead role in Inferno, not the other way around. The reason?

She didn't want to play a porn star drug addict.

The producers let her go given her scheduling conflicts (living in rehab indefinitely), but Dina swears it was her call. She just didn't want the role!

Wait, Lindsay Lohan didn't want to play Linda Lovelace? She's a natural!

"The movie is about a drug addict and porn star. It is hard when you are a serious actor with what she has been through, we don't need that," Dina said.

Yes, a very serious actor. I Know Who Killed Me? Award-winning stuff.

"Lindsay was disappointed but felt it wasn't right to take that role after what she had been through. She made the ultimate decision," her mom swears.

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Despite interest from producers and support from her fans, Lindsay Lohan has turned down an offer to appear on Dancing With the Stars.

"We are huge fans of the show and think it's incredible," terrible mom Dina said. "We'll watch it, but it is not going to happen this season."

Plugging herself, Dina adds, "Lindsay actually told the woman at Dancing With The Stars who made the offer, 'you need to take my mom!'"

HOLD UP: Dina and Lindsay have put the brakes on DWTS.

Lindsay gave the offer serious consideration, but decided to keep her focus on drug and alcohol rehab, which is a very mature decision.

"Lindsay is a great dancer, but she's taking a break right now. She has been through a lot," Dina said, before talking about herself again.

"Our family loves the show. I'm a dancer, and I taught dance when Lindsay was growing up. I dragged her from one studio to another."

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Since Lindsay Lohan has been barred from leaving the state of California during this week's Thanksgiving holiday, she'll be spending it in the Golden State.

With her father Michael!

The troubled star tried to get permission from officials at the Betty Ford clinic to head back to New York for the holiday, to be with her mother and siblings.

LIKE OLD TIMES: Will Thanksgiving 2010 mark a new, positive chapter in the Lohans' relationships? Or just another bump on an extremely bumpy road to ruin?

Betty Ford wasn't having it though, so she'll have turkey at a home in Palm Springs where MiLo is staying, close to the rehab center! Miracles can happen!

Michael wants his ex-wife and Lindsay's awful mom, Dina Lohan, and all of their kids to come out and spend the day, but for now, Dina's not interested.

Maybe a Christmas miracle instead?

Glee took some hilarious shots at Lindsay Lohan last night, courtesy of Gwyneth Paltrow's substitute Spanish teacher character. Dina Lohan is far from pleased.

The episode, which you can read all about in our TV site's Glee review, didn't just ridicule the troubled star for no reason. "The Substitute" actually had a point.

Gwyneth's character later talked about how she tries to relate to the students, maintaining attention spans with the aid of these crazy antics ...

That's tough math in any language!

Nevertheless, Lindsay Lohan's mom and siblings don't see the humor, calling it "shameful" how the rehabbing actress was mocked on the show last night.

Dina is reportedly saying "Shame on Gkee," and calling the show "tasteless." Then again, Lindsay reportedly feels the same way about Dina, so we'll call it even.

Lindsay Lohan has always been enabled by Dina Lohan, her worthless fame whore of a mom. Only now is she starting to realize that's part of the problem.

The rehabbing star's wake-up call was Dina's appearance on Today this month. While Dina showed some humility, it's the pretense that bothered Lindsay.

Basically, Lindsay told her mom not to go on Today at all.

When Dina defied her and chatted it up with Matt Lauer, Lindsay, whose patience with her mom had already been wearing somewhat thin, was "furious."

Since that interview, Lindsay has become warier of her mother and is beginning to understand her antics are part of the reason for her many problems.

Moreover, Linds is beginning to realize Dina's demonization of her dad, Michael Lohan, is not the whole picture and that both parents share the blame.

Unlike her mother's behavior, the actress has been surprised, in a good way, by her dad's seeming sincerity in reaching out and respecting her wishes.

Just when you think you've heard everything ...

Lindsay Lohan and estranged parents, Michael and Dina, haven't had the best of relationships, but all three may sit down to resolve old issues, reports say.

Just when we thought we'd seen everything. What's next? Kanye and W making up and Bristol Palin making it to the final four on Dancing with the Stars?

Oh, wait ...

ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY? Hey, anything's possible. Apparently.

Doctors and therapists at the Betty Ford Clinic, where Lindsay Lohan will continue to reside until early 2011, have been "encouraging" her to get in a room with her folks to resolve issues that may have put her in her current state.

Five or six years too late, but hey, better than never.

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